Ahhhh, November!

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I love November!  It’s my birthday, it’s many of my friend’s birthdays (Scorpios tend to hang around other Scorpios…professional courtesy?) and it’s Thanksgiving and Hanukkah! 

Each year I aim to make the holiday meal healthier than it was the year before.  Less breads, less desserts, no processed foods (sorry, we don’t do green-bean casserole around these parts!) no soda.  STRESS?  Glad to say, I’m learning to  keep it to a minimum. 

I want to share some excerpts from a newsletter by my doctors at Central Family Practice. I love them, and this is one reason why. The article is by Peggy Ghorbani, L.Ac.

21st Century life is so kinetic that our poor endocrine systems haven’t evolved fast enought to keep up with the demands of all our beeping and blinking devices. Constant distraction, multitasking, and unaddressed, unremitting stress all tax our adrenal glands and their production of the stress hormone, cortisol.  This is important because cortisol is a hormone that governs everything from blood pressure, to sleep patterns and cravings, to our capacity to cope with stress effectively.

From a Chinese Medicine perspective, our cortisol levels are related to the strength of our Kidney Qi (energy). The Kidneys help us deal with fear, help us sleep peacfully, and determine every aspect of fertility and healthy aging!

In an effort to practice what she preaches, Peggy made a few vital changes:

  • She added yoga/meditation classes in order to slow down and notice when her cortisol levels are rising. She said that “it’s a revelation to recognize stress – like a fish noticing water!”
  • She proiritized happiness and choosing to relax.
  • She quit drinking coffee because despite it’s great antioxidant benefits, caffeine directly induces the adrenocortical cells to produce more cortisol.  If you suffer from anxiety, poor sleep, grind your teeth….
  • She is limiting alcohol. Alcohol raises cortisol and the effects persist for 24 hours or more.  So much for having a drink or two to unwind!  She does say that it’s not necessary to completely refrain, but that it’s best to keep consumption at less than 3 glasses a week.
  • Her FUN solutions:  Eat dark chocolate (70%)!  In what may be the most popular study ever performed on cortisol, 40g/day of dark chocolate for 2 weeks lowered urine cortisol levels.  
  • Get a massage regularly!  Massage lowers cortisol, raises oxytocin, and has been documented to improve immune function!

(I’m going to quote somebody here…) “Just Say No,” to things that aren’t fun, that are an obligation that you don’t enjoy, to things you know you shouldn’t do.  Just because you’ve always eaten unhealthy food, doesn’t mean it needs to continue.  Just because you over-imbibe to deal with the fam, doesn’t mean that needs to continue either.  Start some new traditions, ones that support you and make you feel  healthier and happier.  Give people a heads-up! “Here is what I’m doing this year in order to be healthier,  if you’d like to participate, please come join me!”   Become a great example.

A relaxed, healthy, happy hostess is a  Very Sexy Hostess!

XO Donna

Short, Sweet and Funny

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Today is the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of Sexypast60!   I want to thank each and every one of you for reading,  commenting, and for sharing this adventure with your friends.  

Here is a short list of important days: 

  • Today is Halloween.  (Where the magic happens!)
  • It is 29 days until Chanukah.  The other M & Ms.  (Menorahs and matzoh)
  • It is 29 days until Thanksgiving.  Order those Turduckens.  (I couldn’t eat anything with ‘turd’ in the name)
  • It is 55 days until Santa comes down chimneys worldwide.  (Maybe this is the year we resolve the Real Tree vs. Fake Tree issue?)
  • It is 56 days until the extended-family returns for Christmas dinner.  (Aw, Mom, not Turducken again! )
  • It is 57 days until you should call your therapist and beg to get back into group.
  • It is 61 days until New Year’s Eve  (Party Like It’s 1999!)
  • It is 62 days until we make New Year’s Resolutions.
  • It is 92 days until 75% of you abandon those resolutions .Halloween candy

Speaking of something sweet, did I mention that today is Halloween? 

I hope you all have lots of fun, get lots of your favorite candies, and remember to brush your teeth before bed.

  (Otherwise, add “Call D.D.S.”  to the above list, for first thing in the morning)

Now for this last part. I want to apologize beforehand to anyone who for some odd reason finds this offensive.  I thought it was  ‘laugh out loud’ funny, but there is no accounting for taste, is there?

I trust that it’s the perfect ending for a blog on Halloween, and a tribute to the man who has scared the #@*!  out of many, many a reader! 

Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to present  the master…Edgar Allan Ho.  thCA75JUYV 

(Now that’s funny, I don’t care who y’are !)

XO Donna

Never say “Never”

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What a day this has been!  It started off this morning over coffee with Gina Waterfield; the lifestyle genius of Table Talks and Niblets.  It’s always a cross between a catch-up session and a brainstorming session when we’re together!

Coffee finished, we headed our separate ways. My goal was to get my financial-shit together today:  I intended to buy a multi-page folder and organize every little bill, receipt, medical record, and statement that was piled precariously on the corner of my desk. 

I found just the folder I needed, bought some new pens for my ‘morning pages,’ and grabbed some mint tea and yogurt for good luck.  I was ahead of schedule.  Until I went to pay and couldn’t find my credit card! Credit Card Machine

Panic ensued…I tore through my purse like a madwoman!  I finally had to get out of line (the people behind me were giving me dirty looks ) and go pay for everything with a check at the Customer Service Desk.

I walked back to Starbuck’s at the other end of the shopping center where Gina and I had our coffee earlier. No card. Walking back to my car, I reminded myself that I never lose things.  I have never lost anything.  In my whole life! More digging through my new, blue, way-too-big-to-ever-be-practical purse.  I finally admitted defeat, called my bank, and they breezily told me to cancel it…which was done in less than one minute over the phone. 

I was informed that my new card would arrive in 7-10 days, (who takes 7-10 days to get something to you anymore?)  and that I could get a temporary card at a nearby branch. I thanked the young woman and drove to my bank.  For some reason, when I got out of the car, I reached around to my back pocket and found my card (I never put things in my back pocket).  I told you I never lose anything!

It was too late to undo the cancellation, but two great things came out of this:  we updated my account so I no longer have monthly fees. And they told me I was eligible for a new credit card:  0% interest for 12 months, and 5 points for each $1.00 I spend on gas, groceries and prescriptions.  What else IS there to spend money on???

I still have to organize everything on the corner of my desk, and I’m not saying it will never happen, but I got my financial shit handled today and that feels pretty powerful!

XO Donna

Be Here Now

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There is a lot going on right now, and I feel like I am flying all over the place.  Good thing my broom is up to the task!  Beautiful Witch

Speaking of fifty, (no, not shades of grey) today marks my 50th post!  Thank you for reading, and for your comments and encouragment.  If I could invite you all to my house for champagne, I would!  

And speaking of parties – this Saturday is BlogathonATX – a whole day of learning, sharing, and great food with other bloggers. This event inspired me to follow my dreams last year. Blog Heaven!

Today’s post is excerpted from my book-in-progress, “Sick and Tired…and Sexy. Living a Beautiful Life with Chronic Illness.”  Since I am trying to do so many different things at once today, it’s the perfect topic; being present.

In 1971 Richard Alpert, PhD, a successful Harvard psychologist, and a friend of Timothy Leary, went on a spiritual journey to India, leaving everything he knew behind.  “Remember, Be Here Now” chronicled his learning and transformation into Baba Ram Dass, or “servant of god.”  It went on to become the counterculture “bible” for a generation of hippies, but over the years, it has influenced many other writers and yoga practitioners such as Wayne Dyer, George Harrison, Michael Crichton and Steve Jobs. 

After the book, Ram Dass made his mark in the world by teaching and promoting loving service and conscious care for the dying.  So much of how we currently act and think  arose from his discoveries and teachings.  nothing_to_doSome religions suggest happiness is to be found by focusing on what’s happening in the moment.  What Ram Dass realized is that this moment is all there is. We can’t go forward, nor can we go backward!  We can only be here, now.

“While washing the dishes one should only be washing dishes, which means that while washing the dishes one should be completely aware of the fact that one is washing the dishes. At first glance, that might seem a little silly: why put so much stress on a simple thing? But that’s precisely the point. The fact that I am standing here and washing these bowls is a wondrous reality. I’m being completely myself, following my breath, conscious of my presence, and conscious of my thoughts and actions. There’s no way I can be tossed around mindlessly like a bottle slapped here and there on the waves.”  Thich Nhat Hanh

I guess I will get off of my broom and quit zoooming around. Maybe I’ll use it to sweep…the dishes are already done!

XO Donna

And out came toads

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I’m going to start out by saying that I’m going to talk (briefly) about a pet peeve. Let’s just call it a Public Service Announcement.

  • Our words (and thoughts) have power
  • We live in a responsive Universe
  • We do, at some point, reap what we sow 

That said, here is my peeve:   It really bothers me when I hear women (or men, for that matter) say:

  • I’ve been dying to ________.   Toads and Vipers
  • Oh, the food is to die for!
  • I’ll just die if I don’t _______.
  • This headache/backache/whatever is just killing me!
  • My life is over because _______.
  • What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.
  • That just kills me!
  • Kill them with kindness.
  • If I hear one more person say _______, I’m gonna kill myself.
  • Or them.

Would you REALLY want any of that to come to pass?  Of course not.  Let’s begin to pay attention to what we say. Begin to catch ourselves when something like this comes out of our mouth. Practice loving kindness toward ourselves and others in thought, word and deed.  

I wonder if I can be kind…and still be snarky occasionally?  Feel free to let me know.

Life is many things; breathtakingly beautiful, smolderingly sexy, and exceedingly challenging sometimes. But, all-in-all, it’s worth living.

XO Donna

(The illustration is from the 1870 French fairy tale “Diamonds and Toads,” by Charles Perrault, illustrated by Kate Greenaway.)

 

Just start again

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“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.”       Joseph Campbell  

Pool RemodelTwo young men, wielding electric jack-hammers are working out back.  Their metallic rattlesnake sounds signaling the end of a swimming-pool remodel we did four years ago that just didn’t hold up, and the beginning of a brand-new walkway and Mediterranean blue tile.   We never thought we’d be doing this again, but our goal is to sell our house and downsize…and we want to have done our very best by it!

  The pool was beautiful when it was first remodeled, but that beauty faded and crumbled rather quickly. Poor workmanship? The ongoing Texas drought?  Maybe swimming-pool updates are meant to be measured in dog-years, who knows?  As my Buddhist friends say, “it is the what-isness of the situation.” 

“Life is a process – just one thing after another. When you lose it, just start again.”  Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff.

Our feelings  went from “we can’t believe how lucky we are,” to “we can’t believe this happened,” in what seemed the blink of an eye. Tiles cracked (here a crack, there a crack, everywhere a crack-crack!) .  Then fell off. . .a single blue tile shimmering on the bottom of the pool one day…a ribbon of them hanging by a thread the next, poised to join their friend.  The crisp white line of caulk at the top line of tiles mildewed before our very eyes.

100_2876It had become unattractive…but it held water. Her beautiful turquoise ripples still offered us welcomed relief! That pool has been our after-work rendezvous for nine years now.  We sat beside her and planned. Floated in her and dreamed. Skinny-dipped under the stars and the full Moon.  She’s been very-very good to us, so we’re giving her another face-lift.  I know she’s going to look worse before she looks better…but we will pull our chairs up and enjoy her again when it’s all done!

XO Donna

California Dreaming…II

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Coast at BixbyI re-read my blog from last week, and it’s more notable for everything I didn’t say, than for what I did say.  It seemed as if it were my first essay written for English class after school had resumed. “What I did on my summer vacation.”

The stuff that fills me now, are the small moments spent closely with loved ones on that trip. I’ve thought a lot about the trust I placed in my dear partner as we rode those twisty roads for hours every day. And his acknowledgement of that trust;  his respect for the fact that I hold him (and his riding skill) in high enough esteem to surrender control and sit back there. He said that he couldn’t do it.  I’ve started a short story called “Ridin’ Bitch.”  I’ll let you all see it first!

I loved the fact that even though we are adults, there is still a child-like joy in sharing places and things we’ve discovered with each other.  I couldn’t wait for my friends to see this stretch of ocean (above) leading away from Bixby Bridge.  We knew the hotel in Carmel, having “scouted it” last time we were there, dreaming of returning on our bikes.  Randy knew of a “joint” in San Simeon that had a delicious lunch, that was worth waiting in line for, and another place on the way to Carmel for amazing raw oyster shooters. I’d love some right now!

Twisty redwoods

My second-favorite thing about out trip (tied with the ocean ) was riding for hours on twisty-turny roads through old-growth redwood forests.  Randy has been lovingly nick-named by our group –  and depending on who’s talking about him, he’s either Stinky, or RandyMcNally. ..named after the road atlas, since he has an amazing memory for roads, rides and shortcuts. 

He got us lost this time!  Out in the middle of who-knows-where in a primeval forest, with no cell reception…all we needed was a dinosaur or two. I loved it.  But, I had to pee!  So I got to do something I haven’t done in a hundred years….wander into the woods, among ferns curling waist-high, and moss forming a velvety carpet, and visit Mother Nature’s restroom. My sisters and I (well, maybe Lynn never did) used to pee in our woods all the time as children, rather than run home…it’s one of the great joys of a country life (if you overlook the poison ivy). 

But, my favorite memory of the trip was the time spent sitting in a patch of grass, having a cocktail and watching the waves crash ashore just across the street.  The guys had headed out to the market to get something, and Denise and I made drinks and headed straight to the chairs we had spied upon Denise and Squirrel checking-in. They were in a small semi-circle of grass in front of the inn, separated from the street by a low hedge.  The grass was very different from the kind we have here; much denser, softer, more inviting.  And there is no grass at all where Denise lives…so, shoes off, toes wriggling, breeze blowing, we sat there talking until a spotted squirrel ran up to us. A mutual friend had sent out a rather obscene photo of a male squirrel saying, “Helloooo, ladies!”  weeks ago.  The moment the squirrel appeared, Denise and I looked at each other,  and howled with laughter!  He  was soon joined by a girlfriend, and then a mouse joined the party…more timid than his friends, he’d dart out, see us, and dart back into the hedge, only to make a run again a couple of minutes later, and another retreat.  And another. And another. The critters were all still there when the guys joined us…and that camaraderie, those small moments shared with friends, are really what the ride’s all about. No matter how you get there…

XO Donna

California Dreaming

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Flying out above fogSince I’ve been 16, California has seemed like the “Promised Land” to me. I have always dreamed of driving the Pacific Coast Highway in a convertible with the wind in my hair and a smile on my face  (kind of like an Irish Setter with her head out the window, I know).  I finally got to live this dream, but not exactly in a convertible… 

We flew to San Francisco to meet-up with our dear friends and riding partners, Randy and Denise, who live outside of Santa Fe.  We made arrangements beforehand to rent Harleys from Eagle Rider, and were to pick them up the next morning.  It was amazing to fly into SFO airport through this dense cloud-cover…as if everything was coated in a layer of whipped cream!

San FranciscoA brisk taxi ride (that’s polite for “our driver was a total maniac”) to our hotel, and a very nice receptionist said, “I upgraded your room.”  This is what greeted us!  We turned the chairs around to face the windows and had cocktails, and hors d’ouvres in our room.

 For dinner, we went to Tadich, a place know for it’s “soups.”  If you like Cioppino – this is a must go!  You can sit at a counter that seems to go on forever, or a booth. We waited (a while) for a booth, and it was worth it – pretty romantic! Cioppino

I awoke the next morning wishing I could return for breakfast.  It was time to go pick up our motorcycles.  My suitcase was down-sized to one saddlebag, and part of a top-box.  My beauty routine was My wardrobestreamlined to  a travel-sized: vitamin C cleanser, moisturizer, my CC cream (with built-in sunscreen) and a tube of mascara and tinted lip gloss.  My wardrobe- even simpler:  2 pair of jeans, thermal underwear, lingerie, 4 long-sleeved t-shirts, riding boots, and a fisherman’s sweater with a big neckscarf.  Not so sexy…but I wasn’t aiming for that…it’s all about being warm while riding! 

We rode in-and-out of fog, (which feels great to your skin – now I understand why the English have such nice complexions)Twisty redwoods alongside the Pacific Ocean, savoring the salt air. We twisted our way through forests of dappled sunlight, mossy banks, 100′ tall trees,  the smell of redwood and eucalyptus.    All so very Zen!  

Gang at Alices RestaurantAnd on the last day of riding, we came out of a redwood forest, after perhaps the most beautiful road yet, and were greeted by Alice’s Restaurant!  I like to play Arlo’s story each year before Thanksgiving dinner…kind of a loose tradition around my house.  Now I can say, “I’ve been there!” Speaking of food – we didn’t have a bad meal the whole trip!

All of this ended too soon, and it was time to return the bikes and head home.  I look forward to when I can return again, stay a little longer in each place, and wear some pretty clothes to dinner each night. Maybe a dress and a pair of dangly earrings!           

XO Donna

Wag More…Bark Less

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I was on my way home from a meeting, had stopped by the grocery store and finished up just in time for the beginning of rush hour (actually, rush-three-hours).  I was sitting at the side of the road trying to get from the parking lot out into the flow of traffic, and, no surprise here anymore, nobody would let me in!  I waited and waited and waited. And then waited some more.  Although I know it’s not particularly sexy, I then started cursing. Cursing the heat. Cursing the fact that I didn’t go the long-way-round and drive to the traffic light. Cursing the inconsiderate, selfish drivers. Cursing the fact that everybody thinks this is such a great city that they’ve all moved here.  Now our traffic is just like whatever city they came to escape from!ANNOYED

I finally caught a break and was now on my way, a bona-fide part of the afternoon rush hour!  My joy was short-lived when I glanced back in my rear-view mirror and found a woman in a black car about 6 inches off my bumper.  Holy guacamole!  Had I been going too slow?  No, but I could go an ooch faster, so I did.  And she did, too.  I was sure she’d get tired of being so dangerously close, and that she’d pass me.  She didn’t.  So I tapped my brake lightly and waved at her thinking maybe she was just in a daydream. When I looked back, she was flailing her hands and screaming at me in return.  So I waved back, and slowed down. Way, way down.  The b#@!* finally passed me…and got right on a van’s bumper.  Good riddance! 

Here’s the great part – at the next light a Jeep pulled in ahead of me and he had a bumper-sticker that said “Wag More, Bark Less.”  I’d been barking a lot for the last thirty minutes!  A whole half-hour of my life that I could have been having fun with. Listening to music. Enjoying the beautiful views (the ones that everyone and their dog have moved here for) !  But I was too busy, caught up in our bad traffic and even worse drivers.Fashion Aribag

So, three points:  Wag More (it’s good for your figure). 

Bark Less (a smile is always the sexiest thing you can wear).

and Please Don’t Tailgate (it would be very hard to look good after an airbag hits you in that pretty face). 

XO Donna

…a world without beauty

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I read this today while having my morning coffee;  it was posted by a FB friend, Rick Wellman of Patrick Melville Salon in NYC.  He said, “With all the serious issues and tragedies in the news, sometimes I feel a little superficial posting hair stuff. Then, I close my eyes and imagine a world without beauty and hair color.”

We have art in order not to die of the truth.  Friedrich Nietzsche

His comment, so vulnerable, really touched me, because I too have wondered if my lifelong obsession with how things looked, and with fashion and home magazines was shallow.  Rick’s clients and friends responded by telling him how much they love his beautiful “before and after” photographs, and that his art is a welcomed relief and escape from all of theWinged Victory sadness in the news.

We all bring different gifts to the table, and I realize that for me, the world is about beauty, art, words…and making order out of disorder where, and how, I can.  I know terrible things are happening all over the world, but does it help the world for me to suffer too?  Why add to the suffering?  Be conscious of other’s circumstances, and be grateful that their reality is not your reality!

Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life.  I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.  Walter Anderson

The most effective way to help the world is to work within your “sphere of influence.”  We all have a circle of friends and acquaintances, and business and social networks. Start there. While I am aware that I can’t feed all of the people who are starving on the other side of the world, I can donate to Meals on Wheels so that a person right here in my city will be fed. I can’t help all of the people in the refugee camps, but I can contribute to Habitat for Humanity locally so a person here can have a better home.  I can buy locally to help our farmers. And I can tell my family, friends and clients how much I love and value them.

All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.  Helen Keller

I believe that by staying positive and constructive, we can add light and hope to the world. We can hold the image of a brighter and better future for everyone, and we can do our part to ease the burden through our love!

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life; and that word is love.   Sophocles

XO Donna