GOOD THINGS

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Since I last posted, I had a birthday and turned 71. Unimaginable! If you’re not there yet, it’s just fine, I don’t suddenly feel “old.”
Old is absolutely a state of mind, a way of looking at life. A choice. And one I am not choosing.

To celebrate, we had a delicious lunch out – yes, in a public place! I have been hesitant to go any place without a mask for a long time, despite being vaxxed and boosted, and having had both a flu and pneumonia shot. As Dr. Fauci said, “An over-abundance of caution.”
I love that, and I think he’s pretty cute, too. So, I’m finally dipping my toes in the water.

The restaurant we chose was spacious, with lots of room between the tables, so I felt safe. The building was originally the old city post office here in Georgetown which has been newly renovated into a modern and elegant space, with tall charcoal wainscoting and soaring ceilings. There’s even a grand piano in the main dining room, which could be another wonderful reason to return.

As a reminder of its past-life, they’ve left a bank of post boxes in the entry foyer. We used them as a backdrop for our photo. I always judge a restaurant by the state of it’s Ladies Room – and it was immaculate and beautifully appointed. Add a daybed and it would make a lovely boudoir. Gave me some decorating ideas!

My dear friend Mike, (on right) whom you’ve met before, came with us to celebrate our Scorpio birthdays! We’ve been doing this for years. I’m lucky to have him in my life. The three of us were seated in a spacious, yet still cozy, booth. The food was great, and our waitress was on top of every single thing, a delight in this age of indifferent service. We even met and chatted with the manager. As were were leaving our waitress took this photo of us. Another great birthday on the books!

I’m a big BBC and Masterpiece fan, and I have a couple of things to recommend. First, “Mrs Palfrey at the Claremont,” was a joy. It stars Joan Plowright, who strikes up a sweet (not romantic) friendship with a young writer. It turns out they have more in common with each other – despite the age difference – than they do with people their own ages. I really love the theme of intergenerational friendships. Living in a place where everyone is the same age, I really miss having that, as I did when I worked.
In my rating system, I give this movie 5 hearts.

Next is “Enola Holmes.” Do I mean Holmes, like? Yes, Mycroft and Sherlock’s Holmes younger sister. A wonderful, exciting romp about a young girl who was unconventionally raised, then abandoned, by her suffragette, firebrand mother – played by Helena Bonham Cater.
Enola struggles to find her place, though her gift is undeniable, and eventually, after lots of adventures and misadventures, all becomes clear. It’s in two parts, and worth watching on your own, but it would be fun to watch with kids old enough (10+) to follow the plot and be inspired by the lessons learned. Especially liberating for young girls. This movie gets another 5 hearts.

And last, but not least, I am anxiously awaiting a new film starring Bill Nighy. You know him, of course – he played the aging rock star in “Love Actually.” (Which you must put on the top of your holiday watchlist!)
I believe I have seen everything he’s ever acted in, he’s that good and that watchable. The new film is called, “Living,” which comes out here in the States on December 23, after its debut at Sundance Film Festival earlier this year.

The film has an amazing pedigree: inspired by the 1886 novella The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Tolstoy, with a screenplay by Kazuo Ishiguro, the Nobel and Booker prize winner who wrote The Remains of the Day. It’s set in the 1950s about a civil servant who has dutifully trudged through life, and upon finding out he has cancer, and not a lot of time left, decides to make his remaining time count. If anyone can make this beautiful, it’s Nighy. I can’t wait…. c’mon Santa!

For now, I wish you all a lovely Thanksgiving, and a safe journey if you’re traveling. I am thankful that you are all at the other end of this post, reading and maybe learning some fun new things. I look forward to hearing how your Thanksgiving went.

And, if you are a Black Friday fan, I’ve got a sale running in my shop, starting Friday with Free Shipping, no code needed. Here’s the address.
I’ve been told the link didn’t work, but you can copy and paste, or just type this out. Thanks to Trish for letting me know!

etsy.com/shop/fairviewphotos

XO Donna

ASK YOUR MOTHER

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My youngest sister Elizabeth and I have been having long conversations lately where we wonder about our Mom’s relationship with her older (and only) sister Wilma. Their age difference was also 14-15 years. I know my mother adored and missed Wilma because she took me, then me and Terry, then me, Terry and Lynn to visit her each year. And I remember watching her write letters. Lots of letters.

I’ve talked about my love of those long train trips trips from NYC to St. Louis, MO before. I enjoyed every minute, but can you imagine being a young woman of 25 with three babies traveling by train across country? The question we ask is, “Why did she move to NY when her whole family was in the St. Louis area?

I’ve never wondered why my parents married at City Hall with a Justice of the Peace, just accepted it at face value, but Elizabeth finds it inconceivable that they wouldn’t have had a wedding with all of Mom’s family in attendance. Maybe they didn’t accept my Yankee father… or his religion, and dealing with that was more than they wanted to do. Maybe money was an issue, Dad had just come home from the Korean war and was building a career. Maybe it seemed more romantic to them to elope. There is so much that we know nothing about…

(My parents. December 3, 1950. My mother’s jacket and skirt were the loveliest camel-colored velvet.)


As we talk about this gap in our knowledge of our Mom, we wish that we’d been more present, asked her questions, listened between the lines to what she was saying. Well, just listened, period. Kids tend to be innately more self-centered.

With a house full of kids and all the work that caring for six other people entailed (Mom had the five of us girls by the time she was 35, birth control not being an option back then) I’m sure she didn’t have time to reminisce about her hopes or dreams, or why she made the choices she made. And having married at only 19, had she even had time to think about any of it yet, really?

There are so many questions that neither of us knew to ask. I think this would make a good book – asking everyone, asking all of you, “What do you wish you had asked your Mother while you could?” Please, please , please if you have a suggestion, leave it in the comments. Who knows where it’ll go?

She’s been gone 24 years now, and I almost miss her more, but the things I miss about her are different now; I miss the “her” that I never knew.

I appreciate you all,

XO Donna

Forever Young

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Have you ever read something (other than politics) that just pisses you off?

I read a post on Sunday by a fitness guy I follow who said “what do you think of when you think of the average 62-70 year old? Shuffling along, stooped over, looking down at their feet to see where they’re going so they don’t trip, right?”

I’M INSULTED! After reading further, I realized that his ultimate point was that our bodies are designed to be strong and capable well into old age, but only “IF you never stopped moving, playing, lifting, climbing, and running… from childhood on.” Our society has become too sedentary, thus, too unfit and unhealthy too early. But, not us, right?

MY FIRST WAY to stay “young” is to stay strong and flexible. If you are playing, chasing, lifting and entertaining your Grands, do it as much as you can. If they wear you out, don’t start sitting on the sidelines, get stronger – for them and for yourself.

There are so many ways to accomplish this. What is my routine? I’ve done Nia Classes taught by my dear friend Holly (http://hollynastasi.com) for more than 20 years. Now I do them on Zoom with people from all across the world!
I also walk briskly 2-3 times a week, do crunches after walking, Plank daily, yoga stretches and crawling/playing on the floor regularly.

FLOORPLAY – MY HAPPY PLACE

While walking is great, it doesn’t engage your whole body; add some Yoga, Chair Yoga, Nia, Pilates, Zumba, Bicycling, Water Aerobics, Light Weights training, or Kettlebell. Just find something you love and go for it!

THE SECOND WAY to stay “forever young” is to develop intergenerational friendships. I have been very lucky to have friends both much older and much younger than myself.

The young stylists I met at work were a tough crowd, LOL. We could have easily dismissed each other because of our age, but they teased me into learning the latest technology, fashion trends, and music, while showing me a lot of respect for my life-skills . They are what I most miss about no longer working in the beauty industry.
Other friendships were formed over a love of good food, photography and art, and mutual admiration. These talented young women have been willing to include me in their lives. I am honored.

My older friends guided me with nurturing, encouragement and the benefit of their life experiences. Two set great examples of being young at heart, and were certainly stand-ins for my Mom after she passed in ’98. They were always generous, engaged, and active.

Nancy became client in the mid-1980s, and we became fast-friends. She was a little-bit coastal-grandmother – her family had a large Victorian summer-home on Rhode Island – and a little bit hippy. She hiked for years, and did yoga into her 90’s. She read widely, had been a librarian. I loved her style, her thoughtful way of speaking, her comfortable cottage in South Austin. We lived near each other, and I especially enjoyed being invited to lunch at her home.

We shared a love of blue & white Asian bowls, and on one of our last visits, I photographed these on her sunlit shelf, creating this watercolor.
She was always open-minded, curious, and inclusive. I miss her terribly.

NANCY’S NEW CUT (that bone-structure!)
Nancy’s Bowls

I met Lee at BookPeople in Austin, when we attended a book-signing for three women we both knew. She “took me under her wing,” became my friend, and was always a steadfast cheerleader as I wrote my book and struggled to regain my health. She is the first person I acknowledged in my book, and I don’t know if I would have finished it without her checking in on me.

Lee and I shared a love of hair and fashion, and Lee loved being right in the thick of things, in the spotlight if possible. Being shy, I admired that quality a lot!

She was a successful public speaker, who left Exxon to pursue her own career, then created a school to train hundreds of others to do what she did. Lee’s 90th birthday party (below) was an amazing gathering of all the people whose lives she had touched. She pledged that night to have another for her 100th, but passed away last year, 4 years shy of her goal. I really miss our annual birthday lunches, and her bright, cheery voice!

Lee’s 90th Birthday Party
Lee @ 93 Our Annual Birthday Lunch @ Cheesecake Factory

I came across this photo the other day which I’d saved, and it’s a reminder to myself after I found myself thinking, “what does it matter if I go out looking like this?”
This is the THIRD WAY to stay youthful, and this picture really is worth a thousand words.

We’ve gotta live like we’ve got lots more life ahead of us, because we may have. What we do today will affect our tomorrows.

Thanks for being in my life. I loved all of your comments!
XO Donna

KINDER AND GENTLER

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IF you’ve noticed I haven’t shown up in your mailbox for a while, it’s because I have had Covid.

Yes, despite being vaxxed and boosted, and wearing a mask everywhere indoors, I got it anyway, as did my sweetie. I gotta say, I never had any doubts about my need for the vaccine, and I am grateful that so many people worked so hard to make one… I can’t imagine not having the vaccine – it knocked me on my ass, not gonna sugar-coat it. Today is the first day out of the last 14 that I have felt a bit like myself again. But I could sure use a nap. LOL

Let’s magically go back to what I began to write 3 weeks ago:

I am making a quiche for my son. It’s one I made all the time when he was growing up and it is dependent on perfectly-ripe farm-fresh tomatoes. I bought a few at our farmer’s market this morning, along with some onions, and I can’t get the memory of this Tomato & Onion Pie (what it is called in this cookbook I’ve had since the mid-1970s) out of my mind. A chunk of Jarlsberg, a few eggs, some half & half, and it will be heavenly!

Much used, well loved.

This cookbook was published in 1972, a year after my son was born, but I didn’t buy it until three years later when I began my first hairdressing job. There was an incredibly beautiful woman who owned a shop half a block from the salon where I worked. She was my boss’s client and we would always talk as I shampooed her hair.

Her shop – The Jade Garden – just around the corner from our shop, was full of airplants in stunning seashells from all around the globe, suspended everywhere in the delicate macrame hangers she made. Acrylic pedestals in varying heights featured whimsical terrariums she constructed. She was fascinating and exotic to me: she’d been to India, where she’d been given her name by her guru. She ran her own very chic business, something unimaginable to my twenty-five year old self. Her jewelry! And, she was a vegetarian.

I never really enjoyed meat, but I had no idea there were options other than what I had been raised with. There was a small health food store within walking distance of my shop – frequented by all the people coming into town from NYC to catch the ferries to Fire Island. We walked there together for lunch one day, and I was hooked. Down the veggie rabbit-hole I went!

I bought this book there. I had a Bohemian heart, and this book with it’s sweet stories of sharing good food which has been lovingly prepared struck a chord within me. Growing up, dinner was something to be “fixed” and on the table on time every night. Usually it was a very stressful event, to be endured. Not something to be enjoyed. This book presented a better way for me raise my son and enjoy our meals together.

These illustrations appealed to my Bohemian heart.

Between this book, and it’s follow-up, AnneMarie Colbin’s book, “Food and Healing, ” and James Beard’s book on bread – plus all the wonderful vegetarian friends I met when I moved to Austin a lifetime ago, I’ve always eaten well. Often on a tight-budget as a single-mom, but always well. Going back to my hippie roots always makes me happy. Food should be delicious, made with healthful ingredients, and beautiful. I am happy I made this quiche before I got sick; it made me feel better knowing that my son was enjoying it!

It is beautiful, no? if any of you are interested in the recipe, please leave a remark in the comments – I will gladly send it to you. It’s fabulous with a nice salad, a glass of buttery Chardonnay, and pears or peaches for dessert. And just as good when reheated in a toaster oven the next day!
XO Donna

Tomato and Onion Pie, oh my!

SYNCHRONICITY

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Isn’t it odd how someone you haven’t seen for years can suddenly float into your mind, and then, bam! you run into them in a place you would never have imagined?

I live 35 miles NW of Austin, Texas… and my dentist, and quite a few of my doctors, are there.
I’m completely unwilling to go to anyone else, so I usually plan a few things around medical visits when I am going to be in town. Today was a twice-rescheduled dental cleaning and new x-rays. Then off to get bloodwork done. Last stop, visit my son to sit in the shade to enjoy lunch with him.

I parked on the street in front of the big old brick home where he rents an apartment. It’s a beautiful neighborhood close to the university, lots of tall trees and still has un-metered parking. He has a tiny brick patio under those tall trees, and that’s where we always visit.

When we said our good-byes, I climbed into my now very hot car, got my purse settled, and was waiting for the A/C to cool the car. I was just about to fasten my seatbelt and leave, when I saw a man walking towards the car parked in front of me.

It couldn’t be… I was thinking about him and his wife just yesterday, remembering their swimming pool, with its dark bottom, shaded and made private in the middle of downtown Austin, by bamboo. I wished I was in that pool, and hoped they were well.

Side-note: our friendship ended about seven years ago – when she and I fell-out.

I got out of my car and called out to him, never stopping to wonder if I’d be rejected, and was greeted with a warm hug, and a nice conversation.

I always do my best to forgive and move on. Sometimes the ending of a friendship is wistful, you wish it had gone down differently, you miss them. Other times, you chalk it up to a lesson learned, and that person becomes “just somebody that I used to know.” You know?

This fell into the first category. I don’t know if anything will come of this, I expect nothing. But I finally got to say that I am sorry for the way our friendship ended, and let him know that I think of them often, fondly. He said they felt the same way, too.

As he was walking back to his car he turned to me, “Your birthday is still November 6th, right?”

I’m amazed at everything that conspired to make this happen – 30 seconds later and it wouldn’t have. I feel like I am finally getting my mojo back!

XO. Donna

PS – Speaking of Mojo – everything in my Etsy shop is on sale half-price. They make lovely gifts. Link below. XO

etsy.com/shop/FairviewPhotos

AND HERE’S TO YOU

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“Mrs. Robinson. Jesus loves you more than you will know… “
No, wait! That’s not what I meant to say, but now you’re humming it too, aren’t you?

Here’s to you, 2022, because you’re going to be a great year!

I believe this wholeheartedly, and the fact that I accomplished two major goals last year, and turned 70 to boot, gives me a foundation for my belief.

My first goal was to have what turned out to be a life-saving surgery. Now, almost seven months later, I feel so much better that I can look forward to a healthier, exciting year. My cardiologist is thrilled with my improvement – I saw her Tuesday and she reduced my meds because my blood-pressure is now too low – because my heart is working properly again!

My second goal (and I went right down to the wire accomplishing it) was taking an idea that came out of a therapy session, and turning it into a reality. I’ve opened a shop designing/selling greeting cards on ETSY. The cards are made from some of my favorite photos and professionally-printed for me on lovely card stock.

Maybe it’s my age, although I’d rather blame it on anything else, but the learning curve to get the thing up-and-running was an absolute bear! Have you noticed this, too? Does everything seem more complicated?
It took me months to get all of my ducks-in-a-row, but it opened with a bang on December 31!

Here’s the link to visit: etsy.com/shop/FairviewPhotos

It is so exciting to sit here working, surrounded by packages of beautiful cards in shiny wrappers, imagining all of the loving notes that will be written and received.

Flower Power

Naming the shop was a challenge, but I set an intention one night before bed: I would know what to call it when I woke in the morning. And I did: FairviewPhotos is named for the only street where all of the O’Klock sisters lived together.

It was just me, Terry, and Lynn when we lived in Bohemia, a little town on Long Island, in the mid-50’s. Then, new baby sister, Andee, joined us in Sayville in the 60’s while a new house was being built. When the Bayport house was ready, we moved in, and Elizabeth (whom you met in my post in August) was born. All five of us on Fairview Avenue.

There are two other reasons I believe it will be a good year – and yes, they are “airy-fairy,” but, I study Tarot and Numerology a bit, and last year was a chaotic “5” year. (2+0+2+1 =5) all about personal freedom in all it’s forms – and look what that turned into!

This year will be a “6” year, (2+0+2+2 = 6) and the preponderance of twos is also good because they are about partnership, diplomacy and love. Yes, THANK YOU!

The number “6” is about taking responsibility, with an emphasis on relationships and equilibrium. This year may be more about “What’s good for ALL of us?” and less about “Me, my rights, and what I want.” With this mindset there is room for an emphasis on growth and healing, cooperation, and service to others.

I read that 2022 is also a magnetic year; meaning that you can attract things more easily, both good and bad. Focus on your goals, and think BIG. Stay positive, drop judgements toward yourself and others. And drop guilt. Who needs more of that?

My Vitex Card

The icing on the cake for me, is the Pantone Color of the Year 2022, is VERY PERI. It’s not quite blue and not quite violet, but it is the color of the Sixth chakra, our Third Eye. It’s the color of the Vitex flower, above.

Last year’s color was Ultimate Gray… if that tells you anything. Don’t get me wrong, I love grey. This chakra, and it’s corresponding color, relate to self-responsibility and the ability to see things from a higher viewpoint, rather than satisfying your own ego. It also gives us the experience of being part of the whole.

The gift of this chakra is seeing AND understanding.

Let’s have faith that things are improving, let’s focus on what’s good. It’s a magnetic year, after all.

Let’s decorate our home with indigo-colored flowers, or better yet, plant some iris, lavender, and periwinkles in your garden. We planned to plant a Vitex tree and lavender bed this spring – I knew there was a reason I was focused exclusively on purple plants for my garden!

Frankincense, Lavender, Neroli and Juniper are all supposed to be beneficial for the Third Eye Chakra – they are available as incenses and oils, which I love and my sweetie hates. Relationships and equilibrium, huh? I’ll get back to you on the incense.

Wishing you a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year.
XO Donna

LASAGNA

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Lasagna is a special occasion dish: Easter, Christmas, maybe a big birthday. All of the hours of preparation and assembly are done step-by-step with a sense of duty, tradition, and love. An obligation willingly accepted. It is understood that no matter what is happening – good or bad – a lasagna will always make it better, and the family gathered around the table to share in the deliciousness was the best thing of all.

This I learned from my in-laws.

Growing up, we didn’t eat lasagna, my Mom didn’t know how to make it until I’d married and my in-laws taught her. Our family’s go-to for special occasions was a ham… but most of our holidays were, well, not very special. My father’s anxiety and frustration increased as the hours ticked by, and by dinnertime everyone was wound-up so tight that nobody was really hungry.
My Mom may have made a perfectly delicious meal, but as good as it was, there was very little room for fun or conversation at the dinner table.

I met my future husband when I was just sixteen. My first invitation to dinner at his home was a revelation. They were a three-generation family under one roof, only the second I’d ever met, and everyone was working together, music was playing – probably opera – and when we sat to eat, there was lots of talking around the crowded dinner table… and a lasagna. One mouthful and I felt I had gone to Heaven!

Although my marriage didn’t last because we were too young, we always stayed friends. Or friendly, depending on the year. Lucky for me, my relationship with my in-laws DID last, for more than 40 years. When I think of Christmas dinners, it’s always theirs that comes to mind. Theirs that was the exemplar. From my father-in-law’s delicious French onion soup, to my MIL Dot’s multi-course extravaganza, and finally to her mom, Gram’s pleasure in asking, “Whatsa matter, isn’t it good?” when compliments weren’t immediately forthcoming because our mouths were full of her delicious lasagna.

I am sad that those days are only memories now, and happy that I got to be part of such a family.

This year I am going to make a lasagna for Christmas Eve. I haven’t made one in at least 7 years, since I had to quit eating wheat products. When I learned that Barilla makes good no-boil lasagna noodles that hold their shape, I knew it was time. I have had enough experience with gluten-free cooking that I believe I can make this work.

And yet, I’m a little nervous, doubting myself. For some reason, I feel the weight of all of those delicious memories bearing down on me. Will I get it right? Here’s where the rubber meets the road: all of my years of absorbing their experience and wisdom added to my years of cooking, plus the very best ingredients I can find, will, of course, add up to a wonderful lasagna. My version of lasagna.

What do I have to be nervous about?

I will serve it proudly to my Sweetie, my son, and his Dad – we are all sharing a meal this year, and even if it’s not like the old ways, they will all love it.

Here’s hoping that everything you cook turns out perfectly, and fills both bellies and hearts. And here’s wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy, and love-filled New Year!

Gratefully,
XO Donna

Flowers

MOTHERS of REINVENTION

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After spending the last six months recuperating, my energy is returning and my mind is busy searching for a project. Something to make. Something pretty and shiny. Something to share.

In order to free my mind, first I needed to clean out my closet, yet again and make space for that idea to come to me. I hate clutter.

I realized two things as I sorted through my clothes: first, I have lots of clothes I thought would be great for “retirement,” but I don’t like them anymore. They feel baggy now, and frumpy to me.
And the other thing is that the clothes I want to wear, and add to my closet, seem to be clothes for a lifestyle I don’t have.

Those clothes are more appropriate for a city-slicker on-the-go, than for living in Sun City, Texas.

I made a large donation pile that went to our local Goodwill, and I made a “sell on Poshmark” pile. You can’t recoup your money here, not even close, and not even on clothes that still have their tags on them, or have simply never been worn (why do I do still that?) but it is an excellent way of recycling good clothes and getting a couple of dollars for them.
My last pile is going to the tailors to be taken in and up. That’ll give me more options for now, and I haven’t even dug through winter clothes yet!

My next project was to finally choose a paint color for our bedroom, and maybe our bathroom. And maybe the guest bath, too. Our interior throughout is a lovely golden-tan that changes shades all day with the sunlight. Except in our bedroom – which abuts the screened porch, so it’s always dark-ish. I don’t like golds anyway (not my color) so without the benefit of sunlight, the color looks murky to me, especially in the corners.

I used to love to paint, was tidy and efficient, and became good at it after a professional friend gave me a couple of lessons. But it’s been ten years since I’ve painted a room. My sweetie wanted nothing to do with the project, he thinks the color is fine. It’s obvious we see color differently (men and women do, but that’s another blog). In order to get some visual aids to show him my idea, I bought stick and remove wall paint samples from Sherwin Williams. On their website, go to SAMPLIZE to order 12″ x 12″ squares of the actual paint colors for $6.00 each.

My first choice was a Greige, but it turned out to be the same murky tone as the gold when on the wall. I also ordered Shoji White and Alabaster White, wanting to keep them warm-ish. The clear winner is the Shoji White in an eggshell finish. You can see Agreeable Grey and Shoji White above. Now I really need to get that portrait by my friend Lory framed!

Although he doesn’t want to help paint – and that’s okay – when he sees how much fun I’m having, I’m sure he’ll roll up his sleeves and jump in! I’m not planning to begin painting right away, I’ll wait till the weather is cooler, but I feel like I’ve accomplished something, and now have a pretty and shiny new bedroom to look forward to by finally making a decision.

And last, the idea that finally arrived, and the one I am most excited about… the “something pretty to share” project: I am opening an online shop in ETSY where I will have some of my favorite photographs from the last 25 years available as “Fine Art” archival prints, “Fine Art” archival canvas, some “Fun Art” canvas, and packs of beautiful blank-inside greeting cards just waiting for your words.
For the cards, I’m beginning with a flower series, and have added four images below. I love that shy sunflower. The site will be called “Fairview by Donna O’Klock” and I will let you all know all the details in my next post!

My birthday is in just 16 days, and it’s one I worried I wouldn’t reach… I am glad that I always took good care of myself so that I could now join other women who are in their 70’s, and 60’s, and still chomping at the bit for something new and creative to do, to offer. Reinventing ourselves again.

Love you all, and thank you for reading,
XO Donna

endless summer

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Stevie Wonder’s album, “Hotter Than July” generally describes our Texas weather to a tee! It usually becomes unbearable by now, but it has been a great year for being outdoors, for a change. So, I’m walkin’, yes indeed, I’m walkin!

Mark’s Daily Apple, a health/fitness blog I have been reading for years, had an article on the benefits of having a walking routine. As did CNN, calling it the “most underrated form of exercise.” I gotta admit, I love it when I’m ahead of a trend!

And to make things even better, my youngest sister, Elizabeth, came to visit for eight days! She lives in Wisconsin, and pretty much hates the weather there ten months of the year. All she wanted to do while she was here was go for walks and lie by the swimming pool each day.

So, that’s exactly what we did, sometimes walking twice a day! We also went out riding in our golf cart most evenings – and we were generally able to talk my sweetie into chauffeuring us around.
We saw lots of deer and their still-spotted fawns everywhere. Loved it.

Elizabeth is 14 years younger than I, but of all my sisters, we are the most alike. We both share a love for hair and makeup, healthy foods and fashion. And we both have a warped sense of humor… that certainly goes a long way right now.
Take this photo, for example – I have so few photos of us together, and just when I thought we’d finally have one, she licked me!

I planned a special dinner while she was here, and invited my darling friend Mike for dinner. His new hobby (he’s already mastered being a barista) is mixology. Lucky us! We told him our planned menu and he made us a special cocktail to go with it, the base of which was freshly made watermelon juice, made from a Pecos watermelon! The best of Texas, for sure!

Can you believe I was too busy having fun to take any photos?!?

Elizabeth loves feta cheese more than anyone I know. I’m talking obsessed with feta. And a week or so before her arrival I found a Bon Appétite recipe I had to make for her – a Spinach Feta Tart with an almond-flour crust. Is your mouth watering?

She can’t eat wheat, either, so it was perfect for us, and came out better than we could imagine! Again, no photos. BUT, I will make the tart again and post photos and the recipe. I promise.

Unfortunately, vacations end and she had to return home and go back to work. Still wanting a nice photo of the two of us, I told her to act right. She told me she thinks she always looks awful in photos.
I told her the same thing I’ve said here before – if we think we are going to look awful, it will show.

I coached her a little bit, told my sweetie to give us a count, and lo-and-behold, a great photo to remember our week by!

XO Donna

P.S. – If you haven’t noticed the new button on the right side of your screen yet – the book is a link directly to Amazon where you can purchase Sick and Tired & Sexy! Cheers, y’all.

SLEEPY TIME

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“To sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there’s the rub.” Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

Now that I am finally sleeping blissfully again, I can look back at how elusive sleep was for more than two years. I tried everything in order to get a good night’s sleep, and while nothing worked then, all of those new habits are now paying off splendidly!
Experts call this process Sleep Hygiene; revamping your habits and developing practices to improve sleep.

A good night’s sleep benefits everyone, in every way, from infants to centenarians.

My long-time favorite evening beverage.

This past year I saw lots and lots of people on social media complaining about sleep deprivation. Yes, there was a whole lot to be anxious about, so you can blame some of our collective sleeplessness on that. But a lot of our new behaviors are causing this sleep disruption: being glued to electronic devices at all hours, a lack of fresh air and daily exercise, working in a new environment (at home, in our pajamas, and often from our bed). Any one of these can contribute to sleeplessness, but compounded?

There are many consequences of poor sleep, especially when it occurs repeatedly.

  • Weakened immunity
  • Mood changes
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, and both short and long-term memory loss
  • Weight gain
  • Low sex drive
  • Risk of heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure.

Have you ever dealt with a cranky, frustrated, and over-tire toddler? Lack of sleep creates all of those emotions in us, too. Fortunately, we don’t usually throw a screaming tantrum. Although…

Developing a good night-time routine will help reinforce “Bedtime” in your mind, making it easier for you to sleep..

  • Limit naps and caffeine in the afternoon.
  • Build in a one hour buffer before bedtime to unplug from electronic devices. They cause mental stimulation and produce blue-light which can disrupt sleep. If you like to read at night, read a book, or use the black-screen on your e-reader.
  • Lower your lights to signal your brain that it’s time to relax.
  • If you’ve been working in pajamas all day, change to a different pair for bedtime.
  • Make your evening facial cleansing/moisturizing/tooth brushing routine into a relaxing ritual.
  • Make sure your bedroom is dark, cool enough, and if you need it, add some white noise. I used a small old-fashioned fan that whirred softly, but there are also white noise machines that you can purchase.

Experts say you should make this your Golden Rule: only use your bed for sex and sleeping, but I’m not about to hang-out on the couch when I don’t feel well, so I would include recuperation too.

I used to become anxious each night at bedtime because “I knew” I wasn’t going to fall asleep. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy until I developed a Daytime/Bedtime distinction in my mind. I also learned that if I went to bed and wasn’t asleep in 20 minutes, to get up. Stretch, read a book, sit quietly, or do something else calming, in low light, before trying to fall asleep again.

Do you have any tricks or practices that work for you that you would share? Let me know in the comments below.

We’d all like to be sleeping like a baby.

XO Donna

WSJ, the Met & Me

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I got an email from my darling publisher a few mornings ago:

“Hi, Donna – ICYMI (that’s editor talk for “in case you missed it”) “Flaming June” and Frederic Leighton were the topic of an article in the WSJ Review written by Barrymore Laurence Sherer.
Title of article is “A Victorian Vision of Beautiful Youth.” Such a treat to learn more about the artist and painting, now on loan to the Met in NYC. Happy Spring, Cynthia.”

I looked it up, and the article was very eloquent, and equally verbose… but, the main points were that this is Sir Frederic Leighton’s (1830-1896) most famous painting for its vivid color, and his technique that both conceals and reveals, appearing almost weightless. Scholars have called Flaming June “his most uninhibited hymn to human beauty and life itself.” It is currently on loan to the Metropolitan Museum of Art from Puerto Rico’s Museo de Arte de Ponce along with five others through 2024. I’d love to see it.

I remember being enthralled the first time I saw the painting in an art class, and 50 years later, I am thrilled to be able to use it for my book cover.

In other news, I think I told you that I began studying Spanish using the DuoLingo app during the pandemic. I have managed to practice daily for 635 days now, usually spending between 4 – 5 hours a week. I’ve decided that when I hit the two-year mark in a few months that I may switch to Babble, unless some of you have other suggestions for online learning that worked for you? Please drop me a note in Comments.

My reading and writing comprehension are both good, but I get a little “tongue-tied” when I speak. And I can’t roll my Rrrrrrr anymore! But I do speak to everyone who will speak with me and I have had lots of opportunity. I’ve found that native speakers are always very kind, patient, and complimentary and it keeps me encouraged.

I don’t know if this is a good habit, or a bad one, but I’ve developed the habit of eating “at my desk.” Having never had a desk job, it’s a new experience for me, and it feels fun. I make myself a latte in the morning, having treated myself to a milk frother since I’ve had to give up my cream. (I’m limited to lactose-free milk right now – but it warms up and froths beautifully!)
Next I warm-up one of this week’s batch of gluten-free muffins, then carry them to my desk where I read Apple news. It is an extravagance having the time to do this with no demands at all as the sun comes up. Maybe I should think of it as more of a ritual?

What ever we call it, we all deserve an extravagant moment every day. Time to recharge our body, mind, and spirit so that we can be present to ourselves and for others.

XO Donna

WATCH PARTY

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One hundred years ago, today, Warner Brothers Studio was founded. The four Warner brothers were Russian Jewish immigrants whose father brought them to America because they weren’t allowed to work in their homeland. Although illiterate and uneducated (also something they weren’t allowed) they were sharp and ambitious. Realizing that people liked to see movies – which in 1903 were a new thing, they bought a projector and began showing movies – at 5 cents per person – they soon operated more “Nickelodeons” than anyone in the city. Their business savvy, and their desire to make movies themselves, led to the creation of Warner Brothers Pictures on April 4, 1923.
The studio became known for making movies that portrayed “social realism,” addressing such things as anti-Semitism, war-time atrocities, horrible prison conditions, and in 1938 they made the first explicitly anti-Nazi movie, which resulted in Germany banning all films made in America.

In 1942 they made one of my favorite movies: Casablanca. Humphrey Bogart was one of their contract players, and Ingrid Bergman was new to acting. I was surprised (shocked) to find out that Ronald Regan and Ann Southern were considered for the parts… Good call, Warner brothers! Tonight, to celebrate, we are watching Casablanca again. I know I will never tire of it.
(*info from tcinla757@substack.com)

This is a busy week for everyone! Tomorrow begins Passover, and I’m still in newish-Jewish mode. Learning about my heritage through cooking… and through that food, seeing the interconnectedness of us all through the ages. To all of my Jewish readers – I’m grateful for your presence in my life on Passover, and always!

Thursday, the 6th brings the full Moon – she’s the element that ties all of these religious observations together. I’ve been a Moonchild since I was an infant. Her constancy has been something I have counted on my whole life. I make a point to mark every month to go outside to greet the Moon, ponder her influence on us, and our planet. I still buy paper calendars each year so that I can have the phases of the Moon marked out for me, a digital calendar just won’t do. So, if it isn’t a habit you normally have, go outside and look up tomorrow night. Say, “Hello, Moon!”

This Sunday the 9th is Easter. We’ve been invited to a lovely (and I know it will be a delicious) dinner with family and extended family. I count myself lucky to again be included in, and surrounded by women who love to cook.
To all of my Christian readers – I wish you all a Happy Easter filled with Peace and Joy.

Wishing you all a chance to dress up, eat too much chocolate, turn off the news, and spend precious time visiting with family, friends, and tribe
XO Donna

TURN, TURN, TURN

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“To everything turn turn turn, there is a season turn turn turn,
A time to be born, a time to die. A time to build up, a time to break down..”

Well, it must be true, because both my stove and microwave have broken down. All of the appliances were installed with the house in 2013 – just ten years ago, but perhaps that’s the life expectancy of things these days.

We’ve already had to replace the kitchen faucet, which seemed like a fun project, but wasn’t, at all. Two faucets, and three visits from the plumber later, we have one that works. Kind of.

We also replaced the heating element in the oven. Things were taking longer than I thought they should to cook. Was it the oven, or was it just me? I bought an oven thermometer which told me the oven was fine. A few days later I was baking a large gluten-free carrot cake. When the timer went off, telling me the cake was done, I was met by a hot mess! The finicky heating element had finally given out.

Now a burner on the glass-top stove heats, then doesn’t. Heats, then doesn’t. Like someone driving with one foot on the gas and one on the brake.
At least I have three other burners. The nuke however, won’t heat at all and sounds like it’s about to blast-off into outer space when you turn it on. I didn’t realize how much I rely on it, until it quit working.

Well, time to move! Kidding. Actually, not kidding.

For a while we have been talking about downsizing even further, and moving to our “forever home.” We realized that neither of us would want to live here without the other. We’ve realized that we don’t enjoy yardwork anymore, so we discussed another apartment – no maintenance – even going to tour an over-55 complex that would be like living in a luxury hotel. Concierge, croissants and coffee in the morning! But they were tiny and expensive and their pool was mostly in the shade..

We looked at another complex that was beautiful, with both veggie and flower gardens, a beautiful pool and patio set-up, large balconies, and friendly staff… but it was far from everything… out in a cow pasture. We put the idea of an apartment on a back burner. Fitting analogy.

Then, around the holidays a friend called to say hello. He used to live three blocks from my cottage in downtown Austin. I asked how things were going and he told me he’d sold his house and moved into an apartment that he’d worked on back in the late 80’s. He’s a landscape architect. I know the area, but had never noticed the apartments – turns out they are tucked back in the woods and some even overlook a canyon and preserve.

Intrigued, we arranged for a tour of a couple different floor plans and explored the grounds, visiting with my/our friend for a bit afterward. He said the tenants tend to be older professionals, lots of retired folks, and it’s a quiet place. He seemed very content there. Could we be?

.

Since then we’ve been talking about the things we like , and I did a “pros and cons” list. There are 15 items on the “pros” side, one of which is a gas stove and oven. And of the 3 things on the “cons” side, only one of them is a real drag – moving!

The apartment would be close to our kids, so we’d get to see them more often. And great food and shopping are within a couple of miles in all directions.
It seems like it could be a very nice area to grow older. And speaking of that, my sweetie celebrated his eightieth birthday last week! We went out for a delicious dinner and our favorite cake on the planet – Whiskey Cake. It’s based on a British sticky toffee pudding topped with spicy roasted nuts and a cremé anglais. The cake itself isn’t like anything we’ve ever had before. Perfect for celebrating a man like no other!

The adventure continues. Tomorrow I am having a half-price sale on everything in my Etsy shop: etsy.com/shop/fairviewphotos

Great, and grateful, to talk to y’all again.
XO Donna

Fresh Start

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I’m probably the last person to wish you a Happy New Year, as we are now one third of the way into the month. But, Happy New Year!
Jeez, we just took our tree down yesterday! It smelled so good, and we were both enjoying its “mood lighting” so much that we weren’t in a rush. This is the first holiday season, since we moved here four years ago, that we’ve enjoyed the holidays so much!

We’ve had greatsocial-media interactions with friends, hours on the phone with beloved out-of-state family members. We had a delightful, delicious, and very relaxed Christmas brunch with in-town family, and finished everything off with a stunning dinner with dear friends at a special restaurant that is extra-special during the holidays.

Fonda San Miguel, Austin TX

Our friends arrived early, just as the restaurant opened and captured this photo… 15 minutes later when we joined them it was buzzing with life! I hate to admit it has been more than 20 years since I’ve eaten here. Fonda San Miguel serves the finest authentic interior, and coastal, Mexican cuisine outside of Mexico. The restaurant opened in 1975 – I moved here three years later, but it wasn’t until the early-eighties that I first dined here. It always felt like a “special occasion” restaurant to me; the regional cuisine, authentic decor, their greenery and a parrot or two, and a glass skylight over it all. Fortunately, I used to go rather often. I learned a lot about great food here, many of their recipes were inspired by their friend Diana Kennedy, an expert and cookbook author who has been described as the “Mick Jagger of Mexican Cuisine!”

Please go to their website (fondasanmiguel.com) for a look. You’ll see a photo of a beautiful poblano pepper with a (brandy-walnut) cream sauce and pomegranate seeds sprinkled over it. These are made especially for Christmastime, and that’s what I had for dinner. Amazing!
We are talking about making a reservation and going again in the spring for their Sunday Brunch. I can’t wait.

Speaking of food, it’s just cookies, but it was a big win for me: I finally baked a batch of Linzer Tarts for my son that came out nearly as good as his Italian Grandmother & Great-grandmother’s. Despite having their recipes all of these years I’ve avoided a few… how could I ever hope to equal theirs? This year, their recipes and my skill level have finally, deliciously aligned. I may have to bake him another batch for his birthday in a couple of weeks!

And, speaking of Mexican food menus, I have been studying Spanish for more than 500 days on Duolingo. I began during the pandemic and have developed a routine now. I’m always surprised when I receive my weekly update of my stats which tells me how many new words I’ve learned in a week, how many phrases I’ve mastered, and how many hours I’ve put in; usually 3-5 hours a week.
I studied Spanish all through high school, and although I was a good learner, I was a middle-of-the-road student because I didn’t do my homework. At one point in my life I could actually carry on conversations and read books (One Hundred Years of Solitude) in Spanish. Trying to become fluent seemed like a good goal, something to give structure to my mostly unstructured days.
I definitely recommend Duolingo. I started with the free version, and have upgraded to the paid one. If you are doing it, or decide to do it, let’s connect and get a study/fun group going, okay?

I hope your holidays were merry and bright, and that this new years offers new opportunities, good health, and happiness.
I am glad you are here with me, reading my rambling, and hopefully smiling.

XO Donna

TWO WEEKS

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The clock’s running out. This two weeks is what we (or maybe just I) wait for all year!

First up is Hanukkah, this weekend, with all of its delicious food: I mean, what’s not to love about latkes and sour cream? Brisket? Delicious apple cake? Or spectacular jelly doughnuts?

Then there is the Winter Solstice on December 21. It is the shortest, darkest day of the year, but from here on in, our days will begin to get longer and lighter. Friends and I always celebrated around an open fire, and there were usually marshmallows to roast and hot beverages, spiked or not. It’s been quite a few years since I’ve been to a Solstice Party, I may have to look at reviving that tradition.

Then a few days later is Christmas Eve – which was always a spectacular hours-long dinner at my Italian in-laws house. I can’t tell you how much I miss those raucous, love-filled, traditional meals. And them.

And then, we wake up the next morning and it’s Christmas Day with its amazing array of traditional Christmas cookies, pies and cakes. I’m going to try and make a gluten-free version of my Mom’s mincemeat/apple pie. No meat involved, in case you’ve never had it. There will be photos if I succeed.

As you can tell, I’m all about the food, (these two images are my favorites!) and of course, getting together with friends and family.

I wish all of my Jewish readers/friends a very Happy Hanukkah, and all of my Christian readers/friends a very Merry Christmas.
And a happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year to you and yours.

(Me and my Sweetie)

XO Donna

Business As Usual

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Well, I say that… I certainly have my routines: I walk every other day, I do Nia classes twice a week, I cook every day and bake often- more and more it is sweets, and I do have to lay off them a bit. Or walk a little farther a little faster! Then I watchJeopardy every afternoon and British crime/detective shows after dinner. But I feel bored quite often. Or is it ennui?

RETIREMENT is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime only having done half of it.

– Unknown

About that – there are things I can do, and that I tell myself I want to do, but I guess I’m just not bored enough yet to clean out closets for Goodwill, or do my taxes, or get out the sewing machine to sew or tailor a few blouses so they will fit better. And those things weigh on me.

But I also haven’t given myself credit for the things I have done, and I’ve accomplished some things I feel good about;

  • I have been studying Spanish on DuoLingo for more than a year. I had a 346-day streak going, but missed Monday because of an opthamologist appointment that left my eyes too dilated to do anything for hours. My reading and comprehension are much improved, and I understand many of the idioms and nuances of the language. I am now at the point where I need to practice speaking to someone. My friend Holly (who teaches Nia movement classes) does weekly classes on ZOOM with a native speaker. I am ready to sign up. I am also terribly nervous… but, I am sure it will be fun.
    I started DuoLingo with their free APP, but quickly upgraded, as it has so much to offer. For the price, I highly recommend it – I’ve been trying for years to become fluent again.
  • I learned about the HOT GIRL WALK exercise trend. Young girls are doing it, aiming for an hour daily, five days a week. Dressing in cute outfits and accessorizing! What struck me about it though is something we all will benefit from – while walking, “ONLY think about your goals, what you are grateful for, and how “hot” you are.”
    Walking and mindfulness are both great for improved memory and cognition, cardiovascular health, lowering stress and improving mood. Why not do them together AND make it an act of self-love, too!
  • For all of my Jewish friends, I want to wish you a very sweet and Happy New Year! I made my very first matzoh ball soup and it was delicious. I read Ina Garten’s recipe, and Martha Stewart’s recipe, and between my stock in the freezer and the herbs I had on hand, plus ideas from their matzoh recipes, the result was good. Even my sweetie tried it and went back for seconds. That’s saying somethin!
Fluffy and Flavorful.

This involves a friend – and it’s a WARNING about something I’ve never even thought about! A dear friend travels frequently for her job, and carries her vitamins/supplements in a daily pill carrier which she leaves in her room. She’d come home from her trip and was “refilling for next week” when she noticed two black capsules in the two remaining compartments WITH the rest of her supplements. They were not hers, and she didn’t put them there!

She notified the hotel, and the police, and is having them tested. I am so glad she noticed them, rather than just gulping them down!
When I travel again, I will keep my medicine carrier in the safe from now on. I used to just leave it in my carry-on after checking in… no more.

Thanks for reading, let’s all go out there and be HOT! Try new things, cook new things, share new things. Write letters to people to tell them you love them. (My cards are on sale at etsy.com/shop/fairviewphotos ) Go travel, have fun, stay safe. And get ready to vote soon. Vote for everyone that supports women, girls, daughters, sisters, mothers, aunts, and grandmothers. Nobody’s going to give us equal rights, we have to support each other and think about our kids and their kids.

All my love and gratitude –
XO Donna

Busy Bee

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As I sit to write this, I realize that the bed in our guest room is unmade. Not that any of you can see it, but I feel it. BRB.
Done and dusted! Yesterday I did the floors and rugs, changed and washed the linens in both bedrooms and baths, and left the linens folded on the guest room bed to do them first thing this morning.

But something more fun came up: we went to look at an Airstream Trailer for sale nearby. Gorgeous. Modern. Iconic. Shiny. Soooooo shiny!

It was beautiful and had been very well-maintained, but the shower felt cramped to me, and the bathroom – well, imagine yourself having to use an airplane lavatory every single day. Soooooo tiny.
I’m only 5’4″ and I felt that way, it would have been impossible for my 6′ tall sweetie, so we didn’t make an offer. Fantasy, meet reality.

We have two more RVs we’re looking at that are similar to what we used to have, just a bit smaller.

Tuesday is usually my Farmer’s Market day, and since it’s right here in Sun City I can run up there in the golf cart and stroll the stalls picking just what I need. Fresh okra has been my favorite thing so far, but last week I got both fresh red and sweet potatoes, and Sunflower sprouts. Love sprouts! I’ll have to see about making it to the Thursday market downtown. Do you have Farmer’s Markets where you live?

On Labor Day we drove to College Station to see my dear friend Holly, (the Nia instructor I’ve talked about here before) and spend an afternoon with her and her darling husband. Her gardens are glorious, as was her pool… first time I’d been in the water all summer. I forgot how healing the water is. I brought a batch of my gluten-free brownies with toasted walnuts along.

On Wednesday we both got the new Covid bivalent booster shots. And our flu shots, one in each arm! He had no reaction to either, but I felt a touch under-the-weather the next day, and Tylenol fixed that. A couple days later I had a reaction at the injection site. It was itchy, hot and red. The doctor said that is a rare reaction, but since my immune system is a bit wonky, we weren’t surprised.
A bit of ice, moreTylenol, and a couple of days later I am fine. It seems like this will be an annual booster now. Grateful to all the scientists who made/make this possible.

And two more fun things – my friend Mike came over for dinner and we usually collaborate on a cocktail to go with dinner – I cook and he brings the makings and acts as our mixologist! I found a recipe from Nigella Lawson for No Churn Margarita Ice Cream. I read it through and wondered if it was worth the splurge. OMG, yes, absolutely! It was Mike’s idea to start and finish the meal with a Rita, so he whipped us up top-shelf cocktails, and after dinner I pulled our treat from the freezer hoping it would be good. It was beyond good!

(My apologies for the monstrous link below, but there was no short-link that I could import.)

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjbp_zMx5L6AhV_nWoFHVJuDPgQFnoECAYQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nigella.com%2Frecipes%2Fno-churn-margarita-ice-cream&usg=AOvVaw0vM3EOzx_FpF6sbkfPRMFD

I plan to make it again, but this time using the box of fresh Meyer Lemons I have in the crisper. I’ll let you know how it turns out. It feels good to feel good and be busy again. Hope you are all well and enjoying these cooler mornings. I’ll talk to you soon.

In gratitude,
XO Donna