I was on my way home from a meeting, had stopped by the grocery store and finished up just in time for the beginning of rush hour (actually, rush-three-hours). I was sitting at the side of the road trying to get from the parking lot out into the flow of traffic, and, no surprise here anymore, nobody would let me in! I waited and waited and waited. And then waited some more. Although I know it’s not particularly sexy, I then started cursing. Cursing the heat. Cursing the fact that I didn’t go the long-way-round and drive to the traffic light. Cursing the inconsiderate, selfish drivers. Cursing the fact that everybody thinks this is such a great city that they’ve all moved here. Now our traffic is just like whatever city they came to escape from!
I finally caught a break and was now on my way, a bona-fide part of the afternoon rush hour! My joy was short-lived when I glanced back in my rear-view mirror and found a woman in a black car about 6 inches off my bumper. Holy guacamole! Had I been going too slow? No, but I could go an ooch faster, so I did. And she did, too. I was sure she’d get tired of being so dangerously close, and that she’d pass me. She didn’t. So I tapped my brake lightly and waved at her thinking maybe she was just in a daydream. When I looked back, she was flailing her hands and screaming at me in return. So I waved back, and slowed down. Way, way down. The b#@!* finally passed me…and got right on a van’s bumper. Good riddance!
Here’s the great part – at the next light a Jeep pulled in ahead of me and he had a bumper-sticker that said “Wag More, Bark Less.” I’d been barking a lot for the last thirty minutes! A whole half-hour of my life that I could have been having fun with. Listening to music. Enjoying the beautiful views (the ones that everyone and their dog have moved here for) ! But I was too busy, caught up in our bad traffic and even worse drivers.
So, three points: Wag More (it’s good for your figure).
Bark Less (a smile is always the sexiest thing you can wear).
and Please Don’t Tailgate (it would be very hard to look good after an airbag hits you in that pretty face).