Grace and Frankness

14 Feb

I’ve been toying with the idea of having some work done on my face. Nothing drastic, just a little filler, since slender oval-shaped faces with sensitive skin don’t age as gracefully as round, or square, faces with an oilier complexion.

When my clients used to look at themselves in the mirror and complain about their fat faces I always told them, “Hush. You’ll really appreciate this in your sixties.”  As we age we lose the fullness from underlying fat, in our face. We also experience bone shrinkage… making a thin face even thinner. Add this to that the fact that I’ve been on medications for 20 years now, and you see why I’ve been considering options.

One reason I haven’t done anything so far, is my fear of looking like a Picasso painting as punishment for being vain.

Mostly it’s my fear of not getting wonderful results because of the aforementioned meds. Or of ending up looking like Melanie Griffith.1D2E8974-899B-43D0-97AE-582D6EA859C0

My first thought was, “Poor thing… didn’t she have any girlfriends to tell her when enough was enough?”  On the one hand, there’s the notion of loving someone enough to tell them the truth as you see it. But, on the other, there’s always the risk of losing a friendship, or alienating someone you care about.

I’ve always admired movies or books about women’s relationships where they can tell each other anything-and-everything and it’s heard, and they are still best friends. Like the Nextflix show Frankie & Grace.  I come from a long line of women who were taught to keep secrets, and to hold our tongue. “Don’t say anything, we don’t want [the others] to worry.” Or, “Don’t tell so-and-so we were talking about this because she’d kill me.”  So, I don’t say lots of things when I feel like something ought to be said because I worry about hurt feelings, about confrontation, and even the fear that my words won’t make a difference after all.

Is this a Universal Truth?  Is it attributable to being a women of this age? Or is it just familial dysfunction, what do you think?

Regarding all of this, there is a quote I love that has been attributed to everyone from Socrates to the Buddha, listing four things to consider before speaking your mind:

  1. Is this true?
  2. Is this necessary?
  3. Is this kind?
  4. Does it need to be said by me?

XO Donna

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11 Responses to “Grace and Frankness”

  1. https://mariagatling.wordpress.com February 14, 2018 at 5:39 pm #

    Donna, you are a natural beauty who is aging beautifully! I once heard a comedian comment on women doing work on their aging face and he said, where do you stop? He compared it to waxing a car…you can’t just wax the hood and hope the rest looks the same. Well, anyway, it was funny at the time. But it is a personal choice only a woman can make for herself. Good post!

    • by Donna O'Klock February 18, 2018 at 2:43 pm #

      Thank you, Maria! That is very funny – and a valid question to ask yourself when contemplating any kind of permanent change. That’s more commitment and fear-factor than I can handle!!
      XO Donna

  2. Denise February 14, 2018 at 6:56 pm #

    Sweetheart I truly think you are so beautiful as you are. Truly!!! Your decision of course and you will know what to do.

    • by Donna O'Klock February 18, 2018 at 2:40 pm #

      Thank you, Denise, I always appreciate your love and support!! 💞🍸
      XO Donna

  3. Gary Leggiere February 15, 2018 at 2:27 pm #

    Donna knows best!!!

  4. 1010parkplace February 16, 2018 at 7:10 am #

    There’s not a moment when I pass a mirror that I wish I could look like the woman I did even a year ago. The stress of the last few years seem to have caught up with me overnight, and it’s depressing. I know some of the rich and famous and some have been blessed with the right surgeon. I know others who must wake up everyday and wonder, “Why didn’t I leave things alone?” What must it be like for Melanie Griffith to know she’s sentenced herself to that face for life? Please… Give this more consideration than you have most anything else in your life… Once the deed is done, it’s not like Botox. It will never wear off. xoxox, Brenda

    • by Donna O'Klock February 18, 2018 at 8:29 am #

      Dear Brenda – Lots of stress will show on our faces. And after a point, quiet relaxation and nourishing facials don’t help anymore.
      You are so right, we should give this serious consideration, choose a very competent practitioner, discuss all options, and their Pros & Cons.
      There are beautifully effective fillers, which attract moisture, and give just a bit of fullness… and, they wear off and must be maintained. Least scary option to me, with a subtle look. I’ll let you know what I decide!
      XO ❤️ Donna

  5. Izzy February 21, 2018 at 9:32 am #

    Donna, you are beautiful, but I do understand wanting to look your best. Like you said choose a competent Dr.and all should be ok.
    As far as keeping secrets, I guess it depends on why you are keeping them. Maybe to keep peace in a home because we know who can handle the truth and who can’t. It could be one person needs advice in order to help someone else. Family dysfunction…….Keeping secrets sometimes isn’t a bad thing when done out of love.

    • by Donna O'Klock February 21, 2018 at 10:23 am #

      Thank you, Izzy, for your input! At least, most of the time, my family “puts the ‘fun’ in dysfunction!”
      XO 😘 Donna

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