Moderation in all things…

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Isn’t it wonderful when you visit with a friend and sit laughing over a latte the whole time? 

WaterlogueI met with my friend Sheri this week. We needed to catch up, and she has generously agreed to read through my book proposal for me, to help me look smart in front of an agent! She definitely has the background for it, and she’s learning to become a coach right now, so I feel lucky to have her input!

It was the first day of summer-hot weather here, and I was envious of the lovely sleeveless dress that she wore: it flattered her bombshell figure, and showed all of the work she puts in at the “Y,” and the outfit was topped off with a very stylish fedora.

I joked about being pale and needing a bit of color…I grew up with a surfboad-loving, Beach Boys music, California-girl fantasy. And Sheri lived in California, so she understands! I’m fortunate that both of my parents have genetic backgrounds with skin that tans effortlessly, and no skin cancer anywhere in my family. If it weren’t for the damned wrinkles….

We talked about kids, careers, about a mutual friend who’s a yoga instructor and just had rotator cuff surgery. (Hugs!) We can’t wait for her to heal, be out-and-about, and teach class again. We spoke of all the stuff that makes the world go round. But mostly,  it was wonderful to feel connected, understood, heard.

As she sat there picking half-heartedly at a gluten-free pastry, the conversation turned to food. I have been primarily “Primal” for almost two years now, and Sheri is beginning to explore alternative ways of eating. I was giving her ideas. She joked about being raised by “a fat family who spent all of their time in the kitchen.”  I responded that I spend all of my time in the kitchen, too…”it’s not being in the kitchen that’s the problem, it’s what you put in the pan!”  After we got done laughing, we decided it’d be a great topic for a blog…but, alas, I’m not a food blogger. Maybe one day you’ll see that article here.

Here’s where I went with that though – we all need to take responsibility for ourselves. If we know we need to change something to become healthy: eat differently, exercise, control our diabetes, cut out foods or alcohol to reduce inflammation, when we aren’t doing those things, we need to ask ourselves, “WHY NOT?”

Mostly, because it’s not easy.

It takes intention and attention to thrive. And it takes follow-through. Commitment to stay on the path 80% of the time. And that’s what keeps me on the straight-and-narrow…knowing that it’s ONLY 80% of the time. And, I love the results I get! 

More than twenty years ago, a holistic teacher told me that I could do anything I wanted 20% of the time, as long as I ate well and exercised the other 80%. It has been my motto ever since!  It certainly seems to be a better approach than “all or nothing.”

As Oscar Wilde said, “Moderation in all things, including moderation!” 

XO  Donna

Sacred Love

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As I write this I am listening to Sting’s “Sacred Love.”  I am a jumble of emotions today; my heart’s on my sleeve and I’m both excited, and on the verge of tears. Joy and sadness. Memories and new beginnings. Life is happening.

Today is my mother Evelyn’s  birthday, she would have been 83.  Last night her first Great-Grandchild was born. My beautiful niece Roxy (whose name is a nod to both my Mom’s middle name – Roxanne, and to Brian Ferry’s Roxy Music) had a precious baby boy last night!

MAC newbornMeet Mario Alexander Carranza.  He’ll be called Alex for short. (I lobbied for MAC, but nobody took me seriously!) He weighs 7 lb. 3 oz. and is 20.5″ long.  We had all hoped that he’d be born today, on Mom’s birthday…but if she had anything to do with the turnings of the Universe, she made sure he’d have his very own day!

This now makes my youngest sister, Elizabeth, the first of us to be a Grandmother. Of course, we could all tease her about it, (there are 5 girls in my family) but I don’t thinkFairy Godmothers there’s going to be any teasing…I think we are all awestruck!

This is the closest I’ll get to being a grandmother…so, I will gladly play the role of Great-Aunt, or Fairy Godmother, whatever is needed. I keep picturing my sisters and myself standing at the end of the baby’s bassinet, staring like we’ve never seen a baby before. But, this is different, he’s OURS!

I know that my niece will be a wonderful mother. If she’s got any questions, my sister will be a doting Grandmother, and there will be four more Aunties waiting in the wings. Or maybe just three…and one Fairy Godmother!

MAC 18 ours oldHappy Birthday, Mom! And welcome to planet Earth, Mario Alexander Carranza! 

XO Donna

Eggstra! Eggstra!

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We all know where Deviled Eggs come from, right? rabbit_easter_egg_04-500x500 No…not the Easter Bunny.

Since they don’t, and the main ingredient is a perfect egg, (one where the yolk isn’t as resilient as a Superball, and doesn’t have that nasty looking pea-green ring around it) I am going to share the recipe I finally mastered a few years ago for an egg that peels perfectly, has a tender white and a moist, golden yolk.  

(NOTE: The over-cooked, man-handled, psychedelic-dyed eggs that have been hidden under bushes, behind sofas, and in trees all morning are not good for eating, sorry. Although….we always ate them when I was a kid. Maybe that’s what’s wrong?)

This recipe is from “Classic American Food Without Fuss,”  by Frances McCullough and Barbara Witt, a go-to cookbook that I’ve been using for almost 20 years. The whole book is delicious and witty, as evidenced in all of their recipe notes!

1 dozen extra-large eggs at room temp. You don’t want fresh eggs, because they’ll be harder to peel, but that shouldn’t be a problem unless you live on a farm; supermarket eggs weren’t born yesterday. Put the eggs in a saucepan just large enought to hold them, cover with cold water, and slowly bring to a boil. Once the water boils, cover the saucepan and take it of the heat. Let stand for 15 minutes to cook the eggs. Put the pan in the sink and run cold water over the eggs (the Germans call this procedure “frightening the eggs” – it helps to loosen the shells). Once the eggs are suitably terrified, tap them against the side of the pan all over to crack the shells. Let them sit in the cold water until you’re ready to peel them.

Deviled eggs w prosciuttoCut the cooked peeled eggs in half, and transfer the yolks to a small bowl. Mash them well with a fork and add 6 TBL Hellman’s Mayonnaise (I use Duke’s), 1 TBL Worchestershire sauce, and 1/2 tsp dry mustard (Coleman’s).   Add salt and freshly ground pepper to taste. Stuff the egg whites with the filling and finish them with a shake of paprika if you like. You can also put the filling ingredients into a bag and pipe them into the whites. If plain old deviled eggs aren’t sexy enough, finish them off with a dollop of caviar. Add a bit of smoked salmon. Sprinkle with minced scallions or snipped chives. (I like a bit of ham, or prosciutto and chives for color. I’ve also added a touch of Wasabi. Get beautifully creative).

Wrap the egg plate loosely in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least and hour before serving. (That gives you time to have a glass of champagne and relax.) Proudly present your Deviled Eggs at the family gathering, or to your guests: you will be the hostess-or-host-with-the-most, and you didn’t have to sell your soul for perfection!

XO Donna

 

 

Material Girl

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As we get to the finish line on our house…. it’s remodeled, upgraded and repaired as much as we are willing to do – we can finally downsize, kick-back and relax!  I won’t have to keep 4 bathrooms clean. Someone else can rake leaves, sweep acorns off of the porch (over and over and over again) and maintain the lawns, pool and gardens. I think I always wanted to “want to garden.”  But the truth is, I only work at it so things will look pretty. 

Where was I going with this?  Oh, yes. Downsizing. Cleaning closets.  And the box of fabrics that I have been dragging around for at least 20 years!

I really love fabric. I grew up hanging around my father’s interior design store, where they also did upholstery on site. My father and I shared a love of the exotic and the modern. Downstairs was the upholstery shop, and there were racks of textiles and exquisite fabrics. It was the 60’s and I loved to sew vests with long fringe from the embroidered fabrics, or tapestries, that he’d bring home for me to wear with my bell bottoms. It was long ago…

Material GirlCleaning out the linen closet today, I looked at my box full of patterns and pages torn from magazines as inspiration, and large swaths of batik fabrics from Indonesia. Two pieces are gifts from an ex-lover who proposed marriage (safely knowing I didn’t want to be married) before moving to Jakarta. He sent me these beautiful pieces, then broke up with me long-distance, via telephone. The fabrics definitely turned out to be the better end of the deal! 

The floral on the bottom is a traditional print worn by the royal family in Indonesia. It was brought to me by Grace, a much-loved client, who has since passed away.  With the fashion trend now being exotic fabrics, I think the time may be right to sit down and sew again.  I won’t have the gardening, or as much house-keeping to do, so I will have time to sew some sexy Palazzo pants (pictured) and  bias-cut skirts. I dream of sheer, floaty tunics and a maxi-dress.

I’m just hoping that sewing doesn’t end up like gardening…something I want to want to do!

XO Donna

KID ME NOT

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kidmenot  In her foreword to KID ME NOT, Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) says:   “I have come to believe there are three sorts of women, when it comes to questions of maternity. There are women who are born to be mothers, women who are born to be aunties, and women who should not be allowed within ten feet of a child. Those of us who are natural-born aunties….love children, we enjoy children, but we know in our deepest marrow that we are not supposed to have children of our own. Now, listen – if you put a baby in front of me, rest assured: that baby is gonna get cuddled, spoiled and adored. But even as I’m loving on that beautiful infant, I know in my heart: This is not my destiny. It never was.”

“In the 1960’s women saw the advent of the birth control pill, making theirs the first generation to have reliable options when considering whether or not to become mothers.”

The editor of KID ME NOT, Aralyn Hughes, has gathered an intriguing collection of essays, hoping “our stories will sow seeds of respect between women who choose paths exclusive of children and those who have chosen the daunting task of being mothers.”

All of these women – Baby Boomers –  came of age during this tumultuous decade, and explain how that influenced their decision to remain child-free.  These are well-written,  insightful accounts of the way these women shaped their own lives; not giving in to pressure, and staying true to their deepest knowing.

As the population on the planet continues to grow and women fight for their freedom to have choices,  these timely stories are important both as a reflection on how we got here, and as a roadmap laying out options for today’s young women to consider when it comes to the issue of having children.

The fifteen stories in Kid Me Not are more widely varied than I ever expected, which kept me turning pages, and there are even little posters telling you what was going on every year;  e.g. in 1963 Beatlemania swept the UK. There was a new Polio vaccine dispensed on a lump of sugar. And Johnny Depp was born. 

 With black-and-white photo-collages of the authors  in the 60’s opening every story, and a current photo and “where they are now” as a bookend, it’s a fun read!  I enjoyed the stories from the women I don’t know, as well as those of my friends, and finished the whole book during my lunch break, cheering each writer on!

KID ME NOT is available at Amazon. Feel free to buy one for yourself, and for each the “nieces” in your life!   (Disclaimer: I am not receiving anything, except love,  for promoting this book. ) 

XO Donna

 

16 Saucy Questions – Gina Waterfield

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I know I’ve confessed this before, but maybe not to you…I’m nosy!  Investigative reporter nosy. Wish-I-could-look-in-your-closet-and-medicine-cabinet nosy. I also love to know what makes some women so sexy. I created these questions as a socially acceptable way to satisfy my curiosity…

 

Better GinaMeet Gina Waterfield, from right here in Austin, TX.  Trust me when I tell you that she is a force to be reckoned with!

She’s an artist by nature: a painter, a photographer, a stylist, and a great cook. She writes beautiful, evocative prose. She’s a certified Reiki practitioner and a yoga instructor. And she dresses more stylishly and fashion-forward  than anyone else I know.  Add to all of that: she’s the mother of  five grown children, and has 8 1/2 grandchildren!

I can’t wait for the book she’s working on to come out, so I can learn more of her stylish secrets.  She’s recuperating from rotator-cuff surgery, so we talked, joked, and laughed by telephone over this first-ever version of “Saucy Questions,”  which Gina kindly agreed to answer.  After looking at her responses, I realized that one of the biggest components of living a sexy life at any age is passion!  (And perhaps a great pair of heels…)

  1. Favorite cocktail?   Dirty Martini (vodka)
  2. Heels or flats?    Oh, heels. Especially kitten heels
  3. Pajamas, t-shirt, or au natural?    Skin is always in!
  4. Carnivore, veggie, or vegan?    Carnivore
  5. Exercise: Consistent or irregular?    Consistent
  6. Shopping – Love or Hate?    Love it!
  7. Cooking –  Love or hate?    Love
  8. Washing dishes –  Love or hate?    Love
  9. Biggest goal this year, in one word?    Book
  10. Favorite movie?    Whale Rider
  11. Favorite genre of books?    Self-help
  12. Hobbies?     My whole life is my passionate hobby!
  13. Favorite thing to do on Saturday night, in two words?   Date night
  14. Beach or Mountains?    The mountains have been calling me lately
  15. Fly or drive?    Drive
  16. What would your Last Supper be?    Surf & Turf, a Frisee Salad (made with grapes, walnuts, bleu cheese) and silky Panna Cotta.

(photo credit: Maria Gatling)

I hope you enjoyed this peek into Gina’s closet  exciting life. I certainly did!

XO Donna

Well Laid

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Oh. My. Goodness.  Wherever did you go with that headline? I am talking about setting a table to sit down and dine.

Yes, dine! You know: forks, knives, plates and napkins on a table. As opposed to eating out of the to-go container using plastic forks, or throwing the pizza box in the middle of the table with a roll of paper towels. Dine…rather than dig in, chow down, throw down, pig out, or slam something.

I’ve worked as a hair-stylist most of my adult life, and with one brief and beautiful exception at Zan Ray Salon, lunches were always quickly eaten on a break, while standing-up. When my stomach finally began to bother me, my doctor inquired, “How do you eat your meals?”  I told him. He advised me to always sit down when I eat. “It signals the body to relax,” he said. It also puts us in a frame of mind to appreciate our food.

Place Setting from homeinstyle.co.ilIf you look up “how to lay a table,” you will find the commonly accepted way looks something like this photo on the left.  Why would you bother?

  • Because life is short.
  • Because food is the fuel that nurtures you – if it doesn’t deserve a plate, maybe you shouldn’t be eating it.
  • And because you deserve to eat in a nice setting! I have to add one more thing: don’t save the “Fine China” for special occasions. Who is more important than you? What is more important than the fact that you are alive today?

I arranged to interview my friend Karen Louise recently, (more on that in another blog) and she said she’d open a bottle of Cropped Luncheon with Karenwine for us. Imagine my surprise when I walked in and was greeted by this perfect table! We sat and talked, lingering for hours. I haven’t felt so relaxed in ages. And I felt tres chic and honored by her careful attention!  (I’d love to see how she does “formal,” and wonder if there’s room at her Christmas table?)

Next time you get ready to eat, take an extra minute to lay a place at your table. Make it as simple, or sexy as you like. Remind yourself, and the people you’re with, that you are precious! Pass the good food, and share the love!

XO Donna

Gumbo Meditation

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I have never been able to sit on a cushion and stare at the wall. I’ve tried, trust me…over and over again. I thought it “would be good for me.” Finally a teacher told me that there are many ways to meditate, many ways to practice mindfulness. Perhaps I would do better with a moving meditation?

I haven’t sat still since!

I used to bake fresh bread as a form of relaxation and meditation…kneading the dough until it was as supple, smooth and soft as a newborn baby’s ass. The whole kitchen smelled of yeast, honey and love! I’d set aside a whole afternoon, it was like a vacation day for me. Then I developed a wheat allergy, and all of that was out the window. (deflated sigh)

Last Tuesday I was at my friend Gina’s house for lunch and a confab, and while we talked, she made Gumbo. I have never made it…ranking it up among the things I deemed too difficult; like an elegant Crown Roast or a Buche Noelle. I have lived this long without needing to cook any of them…and then I tasted her gumbo.  Holy Gina Marie Lucia! Gumbo

I had been watching closely, asking questions and taking notes as she cooked. And as she did, we sipped wine and caught up on each other’s lives (yes, we were day-drinking…but it was wine. Doesn’t count) and when she finally put a garnished bowl in front of me – I was hooked on gumbo. This stuff is the ‘Crack’ of the soup world!

This Tuesday, I made my first pot of gumbo. I overcame my fear, and when it was finished and ladled into bowls with some fresh steamed rice, I was thrilled!  (I had to substitute a gluten-free baking mix for the flour in the roux, yet it was still delicious.) 

I realize that I am rewarded every time I take steps to overcome a fear. And I’m  reminded that cooking is a lesson in staying present, a form of mindfulness meditation. From organizing the shopping list; remaining patient through all of the cutting, chopping, and measuring; and slowly, slowly browning the roux. The payoff  is not just in experiencing a delicious meal, but feeling both love and gratitude as I sit at the table and eat.  Gratitude that I have such healthy, delicious food to eat. Love for the partner I prepared it for (who adores gumbo), and for the dear friend who shared her expertise with me.

I can’t wait to make another batch!                   Want the recipe? Let me know in the comments!

XO Donna

Six Easy Pieces

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No…I’m not referring to the classic Jack Nicholson movie by almost the same title – but if you haven’t seen it, get thee to Netflix (or whoever you download films from) and watch “Five Easy Pieces.”   There is a scene in which Jack’s character is in a diner and trying to get toast to go with his meal.  Imagine the Stones singing “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” in the background.

But you…you can get what you want.  And easily, to boot!  Recently, a beautiful young friend, who shall remain unnamed, said that she’d reached that age where she couldn’t go out without make-up anymore. Then she changed it to, she could…but she shouldn’t.  I have to disagree, her skin is amazing. 

I know a few women around my age who still have amazing skin – they shunned the sun, while I smeared baby oil all over mine and tanned gloriously.  Fire Island! The Hamptons! Who could blame me?  Now…it’ll take a bit of dermabrasion, or lasers, to erase all of that fun!  

For the rest of us, who prefer not to go out bare-faced,  here are six quick and easy steps to cover uneven skin tone, add sunscreen, maintain moisture, and have everyone looking into your eyes and eating out of your hand! image

  1.    A creamy moisturizer with Vitamin C, applied to damp skin.
  2.    BB or CC cream, applied with a moistened sponge.
  3.   A matte eye shadow in a color to compliment, not match,  your eyes.  e.g. – mine are greenish, so I use a pale mauve. Blue?  Use soft coral.  Brown? Use a rich beige or soft cream.
  4.   Brow powder. Since our brows thin as we age. Brows are the frame around a beautiful painting. The finishing touch.
  5.   You could skip this, but I love a thin eyeliner smudged on my top lid along my lashes. You can do lower, too. But never lower only!
  6. Last step – mascara.  I recently learned a new trick: take a tissue and clean of your brush before applying it. It goes on cleaner, no clumps.

So there you have it.  A fast morning routine that will have you protected, and feeling sexy, in under ten minutes!  A swipe of tinted lipgloss, or sheer lipstick, a dash of perfume,  and you are ready for whatever the day may throw at you.

(For my gentlemen readers – After shaving,  I really encourage you to use a moisturizer with an SPF 25 or 30. Carry it up to your hairline, and on your ears and your neck. Ooh, remember cologne!)

XO  Donna

EXTRA! EXTRA!

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EXTRA!  EXTRA!  Read all about it!

On Tuesday, I had tea with an intelligent, passionate and delightful young woman –  Lora Tucker Kaasch. We talked and laughed for more than two hours…and that was barely enough time. We even had an interesting young “pick-up artist” join us and share some tips on efficiency!

Lora has RA (rheumatoid arthritis), and after her diagnosis, she was shocked at how few positive support groups existed. Rather than be one of the many people who do nothing about their illness, or view themselves as victims, she took action!

Her intention, and in fact, her accomplishment, is being an everyday outlet of Hope, Courage and Inspiration for people with RA and other auto-immune disorders. I am sure you know someone who can/will benefit from visiting her site.  While RA is more common in my age group, it’s being diagnosed in younger people everyday, even in teenagers!

Yesterday, I was a guest-writer on her blog, and that’s what I want you to “read all about.”

Below is the link to her site, which I encourage you to explore and share, and my post, which is an excerpt from my upcoming book. I am glad to have Lora as a new friend!

http://rheumwarrior.com/2014/02/26/bed-sweet-bed/

XO Donna