For the first time, and perhaps we all arrive at this age (I’m asking?), autumn doesn’t only feel like a change of season to me.
Sure, there’s an abatement of the heat – the endurance contest that is summer-in-the-south on a planet having her own climate-induced hot-flashes finally seems over. This first crisp morning seduced me with its promises, followed promptly by the realization of all the freaking acorns that I am going to have to rake and bag this year.
But there’s more to it this year, I’m feeling it as a stage of life. I’m sensing my time and place in the Universal scheme of things. Not morbidly, but my awareness has quickened. I’m being more honest with myself about what needs doing, besides the Goodwill run, and what I still want to accomplish.
First, I’m rethinking this blog title; “Sexy Past 60.” I was feeling quite sexy in my 60’s unlike women who were whining they were “over the hill at 40.” Writing under that title was good, until it didn’t fit anymore, and it’s one of the many reasons I’ve been not writing. I could claim writer’s block. But, I don’t feel like I’m living up to the title as I’m sneaking up on my 75th birthday in a couple weeks. Soixante-quinze. Merde!
My plate has been full caring for my sweet son, who was in ICU for weeks, again. He’s out now, and recovering well. That young man (like my sisters and I) survive by depending on our sick sense of humor. Jason always goes for the laugh, and it’s a quality I admire in him. I’m his Medical Power of Attorney, and now I’m working to become his Power of Attorney (DPOA) to handle his banking.
It seems that the government has been depositing his disability checks into his bank whilst paying for his nursing home… and now they’ve discovered their own incompetence and are DEMANDING we return their money immediately. Or else! We’d happily give it to them, but we can’t get into his account. At all. This is going to take some effort. I hope they save me the time, the effort, my money, and my last shred of sanity… and just seize his account. I’d love to see my tax dollars working for me!
I journaled this on Aug. 31st: “Years into therapy, one day I realized that for the first time ever, I’d quit waiting for the other shoe to drop.” That feeling has come back. Between caring for my son, worrying about my sweetie – who hasn’t been feeling well – and recovering from exhaustion myself (sounds rather louche, doesn’t it?) I need to take extra care of myself. So I am talking to my therapist regularly now: I always find my way back to calmness, and know my next steps after talking, ranting, laughing and crying with her.
Turk and I also had a get-away for 2-nights in a condo on the beach, recommended by my other NIA teacher goddess, Joanie. We had a VIP seating from our front porch, took a great mosey that night, and sat watching the waves roll in. We took a long leisurely stroll down the beach the next day, and I captured this stunning sunrise the morning we left. A new dawn. Worth the long drive for the too-short stay!
What’s grounding me right now: I’ve been watching lots of ‘cosy murder’ (English) and ‘murder-murder’ (complicated, thriller whodunnits) series. Also, “We’re Back/Brian Williams” on Netflix has been the most fascinating series we’ve watched together. I highly recommend it. Staying in-touch with a haandful of beloved friends/sisters/neighbors. I’m surprised, but I’m still enjoying French on DuoLingo, daily, for 1,327 days. now. My reading comprehension is decent and I can “watch”kinda” understand movies in French and write to my friend in Canada, en français! And I am reading lots of brilliant women writers closer to my age/life experience over on Substack. I don’t have the attention-span now for a novel, but these are engaging and thought-provoking. I haven’t liked WordPress for a while, so I’m going to find a new title for my blog and join these writers on Substack. You’ll be the first to know. That’s it for me, how’ve you been? I love hearing from you!
Stay Tuned,
XO Donna
