Miss(ed) Manners

POLITE :  Marked by or showing consideration for others, tact, and observance of accepted social  usage.  Refined; elegant; polite society

I am privileged to hear many secrets, confessions and juicy stories in my business. It’s a gift that I don’t take forPoliteness granted, and one that thrills me, because I’m basically nosy!

For the last few weeks, I’ve been hearing about manners. Good, bad, and ugly.  Thanksgiving has come and gone, but it’s left a bad taste in some people’s mouths!

I hear tales of spoiled, lazy and entitled guests. And unfortunately, these guests are often family!  I know many young people have been raised by very busy, working parents, but still…it’s not like they were raised by wolves!  

One friend told of a beautifully pulled-together guest who never lifted a finger to help, and spent most of her time drinking too much and texting.  Another talked about how “entitled” her grown child acts lately.  Another talked about meeting propective in-laws at  Thanksgiving, and both the girlfriend and her parents acted so badly that herManners and good looks son broke off his relationship with the girl the next day!  And yet another told me how both she and her daughter were supposed to bring something for a pot-luck gathering, but her daughter “chose not to, because she didn’t feel like doing it!”

My parents taught me, “Never go to someone’s house empty-handed.”  But it was my Grandmother who took it a step further and said, “When you go to someone’s house, you should have to knock at the door with your foot!”   

Good manners are just as important as they always were, and, they’re sexy as hell!  I know my readers already know about good manners, but maybe our kids have forgotten, and their friends never learned. Maybe they think, “That’s old-fashioned. Who really cares about that stuff?”

  1. The host who invited you to dinner, but probably won’t invite your sorry ass back.
  2. The boss who needs to decide who to give that raise/promotion to.
  3. The handsome man/woman who just agreed to a date with you.
  4. The person who bought you a gift, but never received a written “Thank You.”

Good news!  Many of us grew up refining our manners guided by Emily Post…now the mantle has been picked up Thank you note by her great-great grandchildren!  They tackle the latest issues and demands of our society, including all forms of social media. It’s been called, “a perfect guide for Millenials living on their own for the first time, who wish to establish themselves properly in the workplace.”  Emily Post’s Etiquette, 18th Edition is the essential handbook to proper social behavior.

And here’s another by a world-renowned etiquette expert and her grand-daughter.  It’s “an elegant guide to 21st century manners for professionals who want to be confident and successful in the business and social arenas.”  Modern Manners: Tools to Take You to the Top, written by Dorothea Johnson; founder of The Protocol School of Washington, and Liv Tyler, the actress. 

We could buy both and reread them to make sure we’re always nice, and then work manners into conversations….or we can just buy them as gifts for the naughty people on our list!


2 thoughts on “Miss(ed) Manners

  1. Laurie

    Great idea to give an etiquette guide as a gift! Yes, never go empty-handed, whether it’s a formal party or a tailgate picnic. Laurie

  2. Kim Straub

    Okay, I feel the need to comment on this one if I may ….

    Ironically, you didn’t use your manners in your “Manners” post. Using the term “your sorry ass” is not using your manners. Refined, polite people do not use profanity (light or heavy) – they know it is not becoming. It is not listed as “okay” in any Manners book. If it doesn’t sound nice, then it probably isn’t nice.

    Hope you don’t mind me being honest and voicing my opinion.

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