Short, Sweet and Funny

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Today is the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of Sexypast60!   I want to thank each and every one of you for reading,  commenting, and for sharing this adventure with your friends.  

Here is a short list of important days: 

  • Today is Halloween.  (Where the magic happens!)
  • It is 29 days until Chanukah.  The other M & Ms.  (Menorahs and matzoh)
  • It is 29 days until Thanksgiving.  Order those Turduckens.  (I couldn’t eat anything with ‘turd’ in the name)
  • It is 55 days until Santa comes down chimneys worldwide.  (Maybe this is the year we resolve the Real Tree vs. Fake Tree issue?)
  • It is 56 days until the extended-family returns for Christmas dinner.  (Aw, Mom, not Turducken again! )
  • It is 57 days until you should call your therapist and beg to get back into group.
  • It is 61 days until New Year’s Eve  (Party Like It’s 1999!)
  • It is 62 days until we make New Year’s Resolutions.
  • It is 92 days until 75% of you abandon those resolutions .Halloween candy

Speaking of something sweet, did I mention that today is Halloween? 

I hope you all have lots of fun, get lots of your favorite candies, and remember to brush your teeth before bed.

  (Otherwise, add “Call D.D.S.”  to the above list, for first thing in the morning)

Now for this last part. I want to apologize beforehand to anyone who for some odd reason finds this offensive.  I thought it was  ‘laugh out loud’ funny, but there is no accounting for taste, is there?

I trust that it’s the perfect ending for a blog on Halloween, and a tribute to the man who has scared the #@*!  out of many, many a reader! 

Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to present  the master…Edgar Allan Ho.  thCA75JUYV 

(Now that’s funny, I don’t care who y’are !)

XO Donna

Never say “Never”

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What a day this has been!  It started off this morning over coffee with Gina Waterfield; the lifestyle genius of Table Talks and Niblets.  It’s always a cross between a catch-up session and a brainstorming session when we’re together!

Coffee finished, we headed our separate ways. My goal was to get my financial-shit together today:  I intended to buy a multi-page folder and organize every little bill, receipt, medical record, and statement that was piled precariously on the corner of my desk. 

I found just the folder I needed, bought some new pens for my ‘morning pages,’ and grabbed some mint tea and yogurt for good luck.  I was ahead of schedule.  Until I went to pay and couldn’t find my credit card! Credit Card Machine

Panic ensued…I tore through my purse like a madwoman!  I finally had to get out of line (the people behind me were giving me dirty looks ) and go pay for everything with a check at the Customer Service Desk.

I walked back to Starbuck’s at the other end of the shopping center where Gina and I had our coffee earlier. No card. Walking back to my car, I reminded myself that I never lose things.  I have never lost anything.  In my whole life! More digging through my new, blue, way-too-big-to-ever-be-practical purse.  I finally admitted defeat, called my bank, and they breezily told me to cancel it…which was done in less than one minute over the phone. 

I was informed that my new card would arrive in 7-10 days, (who takes 7-10 days to get something to you anymore?)  and that I could get a temporary card at a nearby branch. I thanked the young woman and drove to my bank.  For some reason, when I got out of the car, I reached around to my back pocket and found my card (I never put things in my back pocket).  I told you I never lose anything!

It was too late to undo the cancellation, but two great things came out of this:  we updated my account so I no longer have monthly fees. And they told me I was eligible for a new credit card:  0% interest for 12 months, and 5 points for each $1.00 I spend on gas, groceries and prescriptions.  What else IS there to spend money on???

I still have to organize everything on the corner of my desk, and I’m not saying it will never happen, but I got my financial shit handled today and that feels pretty powerful!

XO Donna

Be Here Now

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There is a lot going on right now, and I feel like I am flying all over the place.  Good thing my broom is up to the task!  Beautiful Witch

Speaking of fifty, (no, not shades of grey) today marks my 50th post!  Thank you for reading, and for your comments and encouragment.  If I could invite you all to my house for champagne, I would!  

And speaking of parties – this Saturday is BlogathonATX – a whole day of learning, sharing, and great food with other bloggers. This event inspired me to follow my dreams last year. Blog Heaven!

Today’s post is excerpted from my book-in-progress, “Sick and Tired…and Sexy. Living a Beautiful Life with Chronic Illness.”  Since I am trying to do so many different things at once today, it’s the perfect topic; being present.

In 1971 Richard Alpert, PhD, a successful Harvard psychologist, and a friend of Timothy Leary, went on a spiritual journey to India, leaving everything he knew behind.  “Remember, Be Here Now” chronicled his learning and transformation into Baba Ram Dass, or “servant of god.”  It went on to become the counterculture “bible” for a generation of hippies, but over the years, it has influenced many other writers and yoga practitioners such as Wayne Dyer, George Harrison, Michael Crichton and Steve Jobs. 

After the book, Ram Dass made his mark in the world by teaching and promoting loving service and conscious care for the dying.  So much of how we currently act and think  arose from his discoveries and teachings.  nothing_to_doSome religions suggest happiness is to be found by focusing on what’s happening in the moment.  What Ram Dass realized is that this moment is all there is. We can’t go forward, nor can we go backward!  We can only be here, now.

“While washing the dishes one should only be washing dishes, which means that while washing the dishes one should be completely aware of the fact that one is washing the dishes. At first glance, that might seem a little silly: why put so much stress on a simple thing? But that’s precisely the point. The fact that I am standing here and washing these bowls is a wondrous reality. I’m being completely myself, following my breath, conscious of my presence, and conscious of my thoughts and actions. There’s no way I can be tossed around mindlessly like a bottle slapped here and there on the waves.”  Thich Nhat Hanh

I guess I will get off of my broom and quit zoooming around. Maybe I’ll use it to sweep…the dishes are already done!

XO Donna

And out came toads

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I’m going to start out by saying that I’m going to talk (briefly) about a pet peeve. Let’s just call it a Public Service Announcement.

  • Our words (and thoughts) have power
  • We live in a responsive Universe
  • We do, at some point, reap what we sow 

That said, here is my peeve:   It really bothers me when I hear women (or men, for that matter) say:

  • I’ve been dying to ________.   Toads and Vipers
  • Oh, the food is to die for!
  • I’ll just die if I don’t _______.
  • This headache/backache/whatever is just killing me!
  • My life is over because _______.
  • What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.
  • That just kills me!
  • Kill them with kindness.
  • If I hear one more person say _______, I’m gonna kill myself.
  • Or them.

Would you REALLY want any of that to come to pass?  Of course not.  Let’s begin to pay attention to what we say. Begin to catch ourselves when something like this comes out of our mouth. Practice loving kindness toward ourselves and others in thought, word and deed.  

I wonder if I can be kind…and still be snarky occasionally?  Feel free to let me know.

Life is many things; breathtakingly beautiful, smolderingly sexy, and exceedingly challenging sometimes. But, all-in-all, it’s worth living.

XO Donna

(The illustration is from the 1870 French fairy tale “Diamonds and Toads,” by Charles Perrault, illustrated by Kate Greenaway.)

 

Just start again

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“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.”       Joseph Campbell  

Pool RemodelTwo young men, wielding electric jack-hammers are working out back.  Their metallic rattlesnake sounds signaling the end of a swimming-pool remodel we did four years ago that just didn’t hold up, and the beginning of a brand-new walkway and Mediterranean blue tile.   We never thought we’d be doing this again, but our goal is to sell our house and downsize…and we want to have done our very best by it!

  The pool was beautiful when it was first remodeled, but that beauty faded and crumbled rather quickly. Poor workmanship? The ongoing Texas drought?  Maybe swimming-pool updates are meant to be measured in dog-years, who knows?  As my Buddhist friends say, “it is the what-isness of the situation.” 

“Life is a process – just one thing after another. When you lose it, just start again.”  Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff.

Our feelings  went from “we can’t believe how lucky we are,” to “we can’t believe this happened,” in what seemed the blink of an eye. Tiles cracked (here a crack, there a crack, everywhere a crack-crack!) .  Then fell off. . .a single blue tile shimmering on the bottom of the pool one day…a ribbon of them hanging by a thread the next, poised to join their friend.  The crisp white line of caulk at the top line of tiles mildewed before our very eyes.

100_2876It had become unattractive…but it held water. Her beautiful turquoise ripples still offered us welcomed relief! That pool has been our after-work rendezvous for nine years now.  We sat beside her and planned. Floated in her and dreamed. Skinny-dipped under the stars and the full Moon.  She’s been very-very good to us, so we’re giving her another face-lift.  I know she’s going to look worse before she looks better…but we will pull our chairs up and enjoy her again when it’s all done!

XO Donna