The “eyes” have it!

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“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others.”  Audrey Hepburn

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  Anonymous

“In your eyes…the light, the heat.”  Peter Gabriel

“The eyes are the window to the soul.”  Anonymous

What I actually want to talk about is your eyebrows. They can ‘make or break’ your whole look!  Foundation, check. Blush, check. Eyeshadow, check.  Mascara, check. And a swipe of lipgloss, or lipstick, to finish it all off.

BUT you forgot your eyebrows! That’s like a fine painting without a frame on it. Yes, seriously! I guess I will have to scare you into seeing how important this is:

Eyebrowsmatter

The most common reason eyebrows are thin at our age is over-zealous “plucking” in our youth. Tweezing too much can result in damage to the follicle, and a lack of regrowth. (Teach your daughters, and grand-daughters, to have their brows done professionally, or have a pro teach them how, so they can do it well for the rest of their lives). As for us, now…since eyebrows do thin with age, we need solutions, and here are a few.

If your brows are thin you can buy a good brow-brush, and a brow powder in a shade very close to your hair color, and apply it in a flattering shape. (See illustration).Eyebrow Proportion If you have trouble, you can learn how online, or ask your hair-stylist, or the esthetician, at your salon to teach you. They should be glad to! 

For those of us with almost no brows at the outer corners, (see below, right) there is also the option of using a topically applied product in order to try to grow back some of our brows. I had a dermatologist tell me that “Latisse,” which is used for eyelashes, has had sucess at growing brows. It isThin brows available by prescription. You can order  “Brow Relonge” online for $80.00. It’s clinically tested, has a money-back guarantee, and a 96% customer satisfaction rating on the site I saw. “Revitabrow” is also available online, costs $110.00, but isn’t clinically-tested and had an 88% customer-satisfaction rating.  According to the Livestrong.org site, topical minoxidil (Rogaine) may improve thinning eyebrows. It effectively stimulates hair regrowth in about 84% of users (according to the ISHRS). Applying a 5% solution to the eyebrow area twice daily may promote eyebrow growth within 12 weeks.

For years now, I have been using brow powder and a brush to shape and fill in my brows…but in 4-5 months I hope to be seeing our esthetician, Jessica, for brow tinting and shaping, along with my lash tinting!  I love that she uses natural, vegetable tints that come in a variety of colors for lashes and brows. (Having the lower lashes tinted makes them stand out beautifully, without risk of smearing or smudging under your eyes…which just isn’t sexy at all!)

 “Here’s looking at you, kid!”

XO Donna

**Jessica Timko works at Bella Salon & Spa, (512) 474-5999

A blank slate…

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I hope this finds you well today.  Savoring the holidays, or recovering from them…if you savored them too well!                 (Drink lots of water, sparkling or otherwise. Add lemon or orange slices, mint leaves  or cucumber if you have any).

I waited all morning for inspiration to come. It hadn’t yet….but, rather than just sit and wait, I decided to do something useful. I ended up losing track of time as I gave myself a  pedicure, complete with a footbath with soothing epsom salts. Then a good pumicing, followed by a shaping, a primer and finally, Essie gold nail polish!

My muse hadn’t arrived yet, so I continued on with a manicure. Soaked my fingers in warm water, followed by massaging them with warm coconut oil. No polish, just follow that up with lots of sandalwood hand cream!

Back to the computer.  Ready and waiting, but I found myself alternately staring at the computer screen, and out the window at the sunshine. And at the garden.  And at a thermometer that reads only 39 degrees! How could it be so pretty AND so cold?  And how could I still NOT have anything to say?  Guest bath 9-15-08

So I pulled out all of the proverbial stops: I headed back to my bathroom where I  pulled my hair away from my face in a bandanna, washed my face with a Vitamin C cleanser, and get out one of my nutrient-infused face masques and carefully applied it. I headed to the sofa to settle down for a “long winter’s nap.” (I never manage to take a nap, no matter how tired I am!)

Much to my surprise, I did, indeed, doze off – and when I awoke 30 minutes later I felt refreshed, and my skin felt rehydrated!

Maybe I needn’t SAY anything at all today, but instead, “lead by example.”   I took care of myself… so that I could continue to take care of others.  And that’s a great way to stay sexy at any age!

XOXO Donna

Compare not…

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A few posts back, I spoke of the way many of us (at our age) compare ourselves to younger women…and make ourselves unhappy with the results.  Today, as I read the latest post by Danielle LaPorte, a woman who inspires me ( no wait…a woman who continually blows my mind!) her post was about comparing.  www.daniellelaporte.com    ROSEBUD_clipart_3

Here’s what she had to say, “Comparison is a slippery slope to envy and for the most part, envy wastes energy that could be put towards getting what you want or optimizing what you have.”  

“We must have the daring to be nothing but ourselves if we are to know what our true power is.”  ROSEBUD_clipart_3

Here’s another quote that I like: “Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you…than you.”   Unknown

It seems that our mind is wired to compare, and if the comparison can be neutral, and logical, that would be fine…but negative comparing starts early and hardly lets up as we get older. Unless we choose to break the cycle!   There is another site I read, that you may enjoy:  www.tinybuddha.com  which offers, “simple wisdom for comples lives.”   They offered a great solution to all of the comparing, competing and quantifying that our minds want to do…they advise us to ‘redirect the comparison to a past and present self.’  What a great thought!  Only compare yourself now, to yourself then…see how much you’ve learned?  How much experience you have?  The wisdom you can share based on your experiences?  The acceptance you can offer to others…and the knowledge of how valuable that can be.

The only good thing I can see about comparing ourselves to others is when the comparison inspires us to emulate someone else’s good traits, or follow their good example.  With our ability to see, search and sort through so much information, there are many, many things to choose to emulate! There are many, many good examples out there to follow. There are many, many wise women to learn from. It’s never too late to change and grow, to discover and enjoy ourselves!  ROSEBUD_clipart_3

“Every block of stone has a statue inside and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”  Michaelangelo

Start chipping away at old ideas, old habits, old ways of thinking about yourself.  Stop agreeing with your parent’s ideas, or society’s ideas, or even your kid’s ideas about what constitutes a woman, or what makes a woman a lady. Become the goddess you were meant to be!  And fall in love with your unfolding, evolving  self.  This year, give yourself and others the gift of a sexy, wonderful, confident YOU!ROSEBUD_clipart_3

I’ve saved my favorite quote for last: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”  Dr. Suess

Happy Holidays, and Blessings in the New Year!

                               XO Donna

Like a lead balloon…

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In my last post, Necessities vs. Luxuries, I pondered buying luxurious lipsticks for my sisters as a Christmas gift. I received lots of feedback regarding lead, which it turns out, is a contaminant in many red lipsticks!  Dior-Replenishing-Lpstck08-lg

I went to the government’s FDA site to read about this, and while they have set a limit on just how much lead they think is allowable in lipstick (and in candy!) some companies exceed their limits. According to The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, “lead builds in the body over time, and lead-containing lipstick applied several times a day, every day, can add up to significant exposure levels.”  While nobody has reportedly died of lead contamination from their lipstick, I personally want my lipstick unleaded! 

In my meanderings, I found two sites in particular that I really enjoyed, and want to pass along to you. The first is:  www.Eco-Chick.com   and the second: www.thedailygreen.com  They have  lots of healthy information that is well presented and relevant!

I found many luscious red lipsticks, in all shades and price-points: Dior’s Replenishing Lip Color in Red Premiere  $26 (pictured, above right). Fruit Pigmented Lip Glaze in Watermelon, $17 (online).  MAC’s Viva Glam 1, $14.  The Body Shop’s Lipcolour in Garnet, $12. Revlon’s Super Lustrous  in Love That Red and Bed of Roses, each $7.50. And available in most drug stores – Wet n’ Wild Mega Color’s Cherry Blossom for just $1.99!   Iredale lipstickJane Iredale’s lipsticks are available in a few places here in Austin, all are lead-free and wonderful. (photo left, by Starre Vartan).  Now you can buy a beautiful red lipstick for yourself, or as a gift, and know that you CAN be beautiful and healthy!  And speaking of  ‘sexy at our age’, another appealing site I ran across, and you must check out, is Penelope Whiteley’s page, “Aging Disgracefully.”   Or her website: www.penelopewhiteley.com  Today on FB she posted a great article on the shelf-life of our cosmetics. Yes, they can go bad in spite of the preservatives used in them.  This could be a great incentive to sort through our makeup bags, discard old products, and buy new ones with an eye toward updating, rather than replacing!  Products improve all the time, and many are multi-functional now. I am especially fond of BB Creams….beauty balms that are lightweight, like a tinted moisturizer, yet have line-diminishing capabilities (and who doesn’t want that???) along with sunscreen.  They are wonderful for those times when you just want to run a quick errand, but wouldn’t dare go out bare-faced!  (You wouldn’t go out bare-faced, would you?)  A little of your BB cream, some mascara, a swipe of lip gloss and you’re out the door looking pulled-together!

While I was in Dallas a couple of weeks ago, with my friend Ron Maddox –  he took me up to his studio and did a “mini-makeover” for me using BeautiControl makeup. First, it was a treat to have someone work on me, and second, I was surprised at how well the foundation rested on my skin; lightweight, yet covering and very natural!  As Ron applied it, he encouraged me to wear much more eye-makeup than I normally do. I loved his results, so I ordered everything we used and my products should arrive any day.  My Christmas gift to myself!   As soon as I am able to get a touch-up and trim at the salon. I think a new head shot is in order.  I can hardly wait!

Gina Lollobrigida

Gina Lollobrigida

P.S. – If any of you are now inspired to rush out and buy a new red lipstick, please send me photos of you wearing your lipstick, or just fun photos of your lips, and I will post them here! (Please include the brand and color.)

Enjoy the snow ~

XO Donna

Necessities vs. Luxuries

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Nineteen days till Christmas Eve, but who’s counting?  I used to have a client who always, always, always had all of her shopping finished and wrapped by the first of December each year!  Her holiday cards were finished, too!

I’m not like that…not even close.  I assume that not many people are. ( I hope to hell I’m not missing something here, and I’m really just a slacker?)  I’m still thinking about small luxury gifts for my sisters. They take care of kids, jobs, husbands and homes all year long.  I want to take care of them. They put everyone else before themselves. My Mom was that way. Her mother was probably that way, too. 

I’m not like that, either. Not even close!  A while ago I realized that the things some women consider a luxury,  a good deep-tissue massage for example, are my necessity. It’s part of the “take care of yourself first, in order to take care of others”  school of thought that I bring up all of the time. I’m talking about a skillful massage (not a rub-a-dub mall massage) that increases flexibility, eases knotted muscles, stimulates lymphatic drainage, improvesmassage circulation and diminishes pain associated with arthritis and fibromyalgia. Of course, my line of work demands this kind of body-work. I stand all day, bend over a shampoo bowl many times, I have my arms raised while I’m cutting, and then when I’m wielding a blow-dryer. All in my mission to bring out everyone’s beauty!  

And none of that is a complaint. Seriously, I’d rather stand all day, than sit all day. Sitting for any length of time makes my mid-back hurt, my shoulders and neck get tense, and my butt go numb!  Oh, yours feels that way too????  See, you NEED that massage…and here you thought it was a luxury!   

For some women, a manicure isn’t a luxury…it’s a necessity. They work with clients, using their hands to point out information and selling points. Or they are in a position where having one’s appearance polished from head-to-toe includes finger-tips, too!   My father was the first man I knew that  “‘put the ‘man’ into manicure!”  He wore suits and ties to work every day (he was an Interior Designer) and had a manicure, with his nails buffed, every other week! I loved that he was stylish enough to do that!  Are you in a sales career? Are you a professional business-woman? You NEED a manicure too!   man icureWe can do lots of things to our face to diminish what time has done, but there is very little we can do for our hands. They say, “The hands always give a woman’s age away.”  To offset this, I use my facial cleansers and moisturizing creams on them in the evening. Keeping them neatly shaped, well-moisturized and professionally manicured can help them lie about your age just a little bit!

Pedicures should also go from our ‘luxury list’ onto our ‘necessity list’ because  a good nail technician can inform you about any problems she sees with your feet (how many of you can easily look at the bottoms and sides of your feet?). They can help prevent ingrown toenails, diminish callouses before they become a problem, and stimulate all of the reflexology points on your feet. A good warm soak and massage can ease pain and increase circulation.  Plus, you leave with sexy feet and toenails! OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA I always feel like I’m floating on Cloud 9 after a therapeutic pedicure! But wait, there’s more!  There is still one luxury left out there…a ‘fish pedicure’ where little fish nibble all of the dead skin off of your feet and toes! Seriously!

So, that simplifies my gift-giving for all of my sisters…now that massages, manicures and pedicures are off of the “luxury list” and on the “necessity list.”  Instead, I will go look at delicious, chanellaquermoisturizing lipsticks (I love both Nars & Laura Mercier) or beautiful nail laquer by Chanel (so fashionable)and Zoya (because it’s formaldehyde-free)  which are my current faves!  I’ll find them each a new color to ring in the holiday season.  Talk about luxury!

P.S. – I see Traci Collins, our massage therapist extraordinaire.  And Mie (Me-yay) our nail professional, is as delightful as she is talented!     Check with our front desk at Bella Salon for holiday specials: 512.474.5999

Ah, Paris…

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I subscribe to a site called “My Little Paris,”  in English.  Every week they focus on where to go for lunch, or the best place for a mani/pedi in Paris.  The best patisserie. Cocktails after work. Today, I was excited because they have published a guide-book, in English, of things to do in Paris with illustrations by their delightful artist, Kanako!  Of course, as I read, I daydreamed of returning!

www.mylittleparis.com

Why is Paris sexy? It’s a city….one of many in the world. What makes IT sexy, and all of the others ‘not sexy?’ 

Maybe it’s simply the fact that when we hear something enough, we come to believe it. Now, it is so.  Then we say it and perpetuate it.  “Paris is the most romantic city in the world!”  “Paris is so sexy!”  “Oh, don’t you just love Paris!”  “The women are gorgeous!” 

We can do this same thing for ourselves! There is a saying, “You’ll see it when you believe it!”  Yes, you read that correctly. The saying is about manifesting. In this case, it’s also about watching our language, speaking lovingly to, and about, ourselves.

I spent the weekend before Thanksgiving in Dallas with a dear friend, salon owner Ron Maddox.  www.ronmaddox.com  We shopped till we dropped, then we sat and talked over tea at Teavana – a shop as serious about their tea as Starbucks is about their coffee! We spoke about the words that are used in our everyday conversations. Languaging. Most of that conversation I will save for another blog, but I will mention this part:  Loving kindness in our dialogue toward ourselves…

Ron pointed out that as I was trying on clothes and shoes, that I wasn’t being very kind to a few body parts that I thought weren’t perfect. You know the drill, “these pants are too ___because my ass is too ___.”   Or my shoulders are too…my boobs are too…I’m too… I guess we all do this.  And I realized that we are, in fact, sending negative messages to ourselves which we internalize, come to believe, and then perpetuate.

What to do about this?  Catch yourself, and stop.  1) be grateful you have that body part at all!   2) take the charge out of it.  Think,  “These pants are too tight across the derrierre.”  No judgement! It’s about the pants, not about you. They just don’t fit.  And you deserve clothes that fit beautifully. (I’m sure you all know the value of a great tailor by now – all of your clothes CAN fit beautifully!)

When we went to Paris in 2005, I read many guidebooks before we went, and a few addressed how to dress in Paris. I left the blue jeans and sneakers behind, and packed my most sophisticated, yet comfortable clothes. I bought a sexy red raincoat.  I learned enough French to ask directions, and order food politely.  As I strolled the streets, or sat in cafes with a glass of red wine, I felt romantic, beautiful and sophisticated!  I chose to believe the good PR for Paris. Like putting on rose-colored glasses, everything was run through that filter, including myself!

 I love this image because it seems the tables are waiting. All we need do is climb up there!  We can also climb up into a place of  acceptance and love of ourselves.  Let’s be more conscientious about the things we say to ourselves  (being harsh with ourselves is NOT the way toward change, loving kindness is).  Let’s take the words I HATE out of our vocabularly. Rather than focusing on what we dislike, decide what we’d prefer, then focus on that as our goal.  If we want to change something on our body, do it out of preference, rather than disdain. We have the power to create a new reality – sometimes with the help of a skilled dermatologist, surgeon, hair stylist, personal trainer, or tailor – it’s all good!

Paris is the place that touches and inspires me most, and until today I didn’t realize why.

Come join me on that rooftop!

XO Donna

Happy Thanksgiving!

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I have had fabulous Thanksgiving dinners…and I have had awful ones that I couldn’t wait to end.  Usually the latter were big, drama-laden, extended-family affairs.  Think, “Home For The Holidays,” with Holly Hunter and Robert Downey Jr.  My all-time fave holiday movie, do rent it sometime!

So here are a few delightful thoughts to help you enjoy your day:

1)  Take care of yourself FIRST. Then you will be able to take care of everyone/everything else later!

2)  ASK for help. With the food, with the table, with the dishes. Allow people to contribute, and acknowledge them. Allow yourself to receive. The ONLY martyr today should be that gorgeous turkey!

3)  No matter what else is going on, there is always something to be GRATEFUL for!  It is only one day…so stay present, have fun, enjoy the company and/or the food and/or the wine!  Be loving, and be your beautiful, sexy self!

XO Donna

Building a foundation…

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We’re talking brassieres here. Yes, bras for short.

A couple of things have recently come to light (yes, a play on words for you, Ilene). I had been reading an article on lingerie in Lucky Magazine.  My friend Ilene Markowitz-Haddad had posted about a wardrobe malfunction at a photographed family function.  (http://casaweenie.com)  And I had lunch at Central Market South last week and was a little shocked by women’s lack of a firm foundation!   Voila, the subject of this blog was conceived!

Central Market:  I’m eating my lunch in the cafe, and as I look around I see very few women, of any age, who wouldn’t benefit from, and look much younger, wearing  a properly fitted bra!  Since we are all-about-sexy here, let’s take it one step further and make sure that properly-fitted-bra is beautiful!

I wonder if women buy bras they way they buy shoes…in the size they wish they were? I see women all the time with either their toes hanging over the front edge of their sandals, or their heels hanging off of the back of their shoe. What’s up with that? Do you think people are going to judge you, or are you judging yourself, about your shoe size?  If your shoes fit properly, nobody would ever notice.  I remember a friend of my parents who would come to our house for parties. Miss Shirley.  She always wore expensive,  and very stylish shoes, but her feet were painfully crammed into them…just so she could say she wore a much smaller size! 

Did you know that in the original Cinderella the wicked stepsisters cut off their toes to try to fit into that glass slipper???

So, back to the cafe. I saw a lot of women wearing sports-bras as their bra. Those are for under sports clothes, to keep your breasts held in place, and still. A smashed uni-boob isn’t attractive under a blouse or a polo or a baggy t-shirt.  Even large breasts can be supported comfortably, and lust-worthy cleavage can be created with the right bra!

I saw lots of white bra-straps showing. There’s no need for a ‘practical white bra’ anymore. Nude (a nude that matches your skin-tone closely) looks better under a light-colored blouse than a white bra does. Try it for yourself…I tried both a white bra, and a nude bra under a fitted, white blouse. Yup, the nude was invisible!  I bought two nude ones and put the white one in the Goodwill bag as soon as I returned home!) 

I think we all need a nice black bra also, for under our darker clothes. I have been meaning to get one for weeks (since I gave my last one to Goodwill because it gapped at the top) and it’s frustrating (more frustrating than having to go try on bras!) not to have a black bra now that I know how useful they are!

The selection of exquisite bras now available for women with small breasts is mind-blowing! Just do a search for “bras for small breasts” and take a look!  They have become delicate pieces of confectionery that  float against the skin. Pure artistry…these would look beautiful peeking through a sheer blouse. I wish these beautiful bras had been available when I was young, skinny and flat-chested!  Maybe they were….but I didn’t really feel sexy back then, and didn’t look for them. 

The article “Your Ultimate Lingerie Closet” was in the LUCKY Special Edition this fall.  They suggest: a neutral that compliments your skin tone.  A bra with a molded cup for under t-shirts or tight tops to prevent “nippling out.”  A super-sexy set of bra and panties.  And, a camisole. For cleavage they recommend Victoria’s Secret “Bombshell Add-2-cups Bra.” It’s selling points: it has underwire support, adjustable straps that will cross in back, and super-discreet padding. (For push-up bras…I love VS!)

Three brands their staff loved were; Calvin Klein;  because they’re designed to fit under his clingy clothes. Only Hearts;  which they say is the best strapless ever (I must try this one on) because of it’s separation, it’s lightness and it’s comfortable underwire. And last, but not least, Simone Perele;  which they say is an effective minimizer that doesn’t look matronly. Their staff also loved a ‘purply-beige’ called Maquillage by the British brand Bodas, which is supposed to disappear under white or sheer clothing. (I must look for that one, too!)

Since different brands fit differently, take new measurements before you go shopping. Be honest with yourself and the assistant in order to get a perfect fit.  Yes, you must try them on! 

  • Be sure the top of the cup lies flat against your skin. If it doesn’t, go down a cup size.
  • Be sure the underwire hugs your skin gently. No digging in…if it does, go up a cup size.
  • The band should support everything, and your breasts should feel like they are resting on a shelf.
  • The straps should feel almost un-noticeable.
  • The back band should stay put, and feel comfortable and smooth. No digging in, or riding up.

In regard to the wardrobe malfunction I mentioned earlier….Ilene, I have seen this happen a few times.  It’s always been with a white bra under sheer blouses, or under open-weave sweaters and knits. The flash goes off, and the white bra reflects back bounced light right through the clothing!  And there, for the whole world to see, is your lingerie!  Since the holidays are almost upon us, and family photos will be taken, here’s some advice to avoid this:  choose a bra that closely matches your sheer shirt…or wear a coordinating cami, or your new perfect-for-you-nude bra.

Remember how our mothers always told us to “wear clean underwear when we left the house, just in case….?”  I will add to that, “and a beautiful bra!”

You sexy thing!

XO Donna

Age, it’s just a number…

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Or, is it?

A beautiful friend is turning 60 today. On her Facebook page she posed the question:  “How should one feel?” 

For me, the answer to that is simple…however you CHOOSE to feel!  You can feel OLD, instead of celebrating one more turn around the sun. You can feel like the best is in the PAST, or, like your life just keeps getting better!  You can be GRATEFUL for all the people that you get to LOVE, or focus on what you missed out on. And you can choose to feel EXCITED because your ADVENTURE can either continue, or BEGIN unfolding today!

Speaking of unfolding, I have a new FB friend who created a total make-over for herself  – check out her FB page:  Fabulous Fifties – A New Beginning: Fitness, Health & Beauty.  Every day she posts a great reminder, or a photo of herself, that inspires the hell out of me!  She’s 51 years old, and a stunning example of  the truth that,  “We create our reality with our thoughts.”

Back to my birthday friend…at the end of her post she said, “I feel like I am breaking the rules of old age, so don’t tell anybody!”   I wondered, are there “rules of old age” that nobody ever talks about, but we subconsciously buy into?

  • Are they rules such as, “you need to cut your hair short after you turn forty.”
  • Rules like, “we all gain weight as we get older.”
  • Rules like, “it’s hard to lose weight after fifty” and “it’s hard to get fit after you turn fifty.”
  • Rules like, “It’s impossible to start over at sixty.”  In a career. In a relationship. In a new location.

Last year, when I turned 60, was the first time I ever gave a (negative) thought to my age…and then, I almost freaked out! I was shocked by the flood of emotions I found myself carried downstream by!  I must have, unconsciously, bought into those unwritten rules myself!  I needed a lifeline, and searched for inspiration among women who were making a difference in the world by inspiring, leading, teaching, and sharing.  I had heard about her, and finally met Susan Tolles at a luncheon. Do read her FB posts at: Flourish Over 50 or on her website:  http://www.flourishoverfifty.com. 

I realized that if I was going to “brainwashed,” then it should be in a way that served me, rather than held me back.  Time to take responsibility! 

  • I realized that the things I couldn’t do physically were not related to my age, but because I had stopped working out 3-4x a week, the way I always had. I can remedy that!
  • For a moment, I bought into my boss’s extreme fear of aging, and his view that I was too old, and consequently, of no use to him. There was a fix for that, too…I quit!  I now work where my boss is my age, my experience and uniqueness are valued, and the talented team are open, fun, and respectful. (see birthday cake, above!)
  • I had been afraid to show my vulnerability in certain situations…and learned that it is okay to ask for help and support!  When I asked, I received – even more than I could have imagined!
  • I acknowledged that I do have good ideas, and I needed to trust myself and follow-up on them!
  • This was a big one for me personally – I worry much less about what people think of me.
  • And this is a big one for women – comparing ourselves to others. We always compare ourselves to women younger than us, and find ourselves lacking.  One of my best teachers always said, “Compare it only to itself!”  Which means to me, don’t compare. If I see someone, and my first thought is, “I’ll have what she’s having!”  I know what to focus on.

You can take it as an inspiration.  Take it as an inner desire. Take it as a personal challenge. Take it to heart. Allow it to become a goal, then do the work to achieve that goal. What do you desire?  To improve your figure, eat healthier, have fun working out? To change your hair to reflect the inner you? To learn to dress differently, a little sexier? To find a new relationship? A sexy vacation? To speak a romantic language, or two? To become a great cook? To learn to ride a Harley, have a sports car, run a 5K, do bikram yoga?

The good news in all of this, is that at our age we have the wisdom, discipline, experience and maybe even the free time to accomplish our goals! We know the satisfaction of reaching our goals.  Sometimes they make take a little longer… this blog was supposed to be posted on Tuesday, but it was my 61st birthday! I have been celebrating for days, and I am awash with gratitude for all of the wonderful friends who continue to support, encourage and inspire me daily. Whatever it was that swamped me last birthday, it’s long gone. I am looking forward to this next year, and everything it will bring me!

So…is age just a number?  Yes!  While we can’t help getting older, we don’t ever have to get old!  And in the words of my favorite author, Tom Robbins, “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.”   

XO Donna

(P.S. – My beautiful, delicious, lemon birthday cake was from Walton’s Fancy and Staple on 6th Street in Austin.)

Message in a bottle.

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Perfume. Everything about it sends a message; it’s name, the bottle it comes in, the scent itself, and what we feel, consciously or subconsciously, when we wear it!

Pepe Le PewAs I was driving into my neighborhood after work, I turned the corner onto my street and was confronted with a skunk moseying down the center of the road. I braked. Hard. Not wanting to startle her…I idled as she continued her unhurried stroll a little further, then walked up my neighbors driveway, tail held high and gracefully waving as she went.

On a related note, I had an appointment with an oral surgeon (lucky me!) and I was waiting for the elevator to arrive to take me up to his office. It did, and after the doors had opened fully, a very well-dressed, and well-coiffed older woman stepped out, followed almost immediately by her perfume bomb!  Obsession.  She made a left and walked away from me, moving down the hall like a fully-laden battleship trailing a huge wake behind her. I hesitantly boarded the elevator and tried not to gag as I rode the 3 floors up. 

According to National Geographic, “to employ his scent bomb, a skunk turns around and blasts his foe with a foul mist that can travel as far as ten feet.”  I’d bet that woman’s mist had a broader range and will probably linger for the better part of the day. I wondered if she knew she had overdone it? I wondered why she’d wear such a heavy perfume in the middle of the day. I wondered why she’d wear a perfume that had been out of style for years.  Or was it?  I decided to find out. I went to TotalBeauty.com to find a list of the top ten perfumes for last year that their readers say they couldn’t live without.

  1. Donna Karan, Cashmere Mist Perfume
  2. Dior, Hypnotic Poison Eau de Parfum 
  3. Michael Kors Eau de Parfum 
  4. Estee Lauder, Beautiful Eau de Parfum Spray
  5. Mary Kay, Bella Eau de Parfum
  6. Escada, Moon Sparkle Eau de Toilette
  7. Benefit, Maybe Baby Eau de Toilette
  8. Sarah Jessica Parker, Lovely Eau de Parfum Spray
  9. Calvin Klein, Euphoria Eau de Parfum
  10. Avon, Far Away Eau de Parfum Spray

The thing these have in common is they are chic, modern, sexy scents. No Obsession on this list.  (I must admit my extreme prejudice here…I have hated Obsession ever since I loved it, packed my new bottle carefully, then double-bagged it before putting it in my suitcase for a trip to NY. Back in  the early 1990’s. Those JFK baggage handlers are something else…as I took my suitcase off of the carousel, I could smell my perfume!  The woman next to me could smell my perfume, too.  She looked at me, smiled and said, “Obsession?”  The perfume was shattered, the baggies were punctured and my clothes nearest to the bottle were stained. Ruined. I have been unable to bear it ever since!)

I was surprised that Chanel No. 5 wasn’t on this list. According to Harpers Bazaar, the Best Perfume for Evening is Chanel No. 5 Eau Premiere…a lighter, fresher version of the original.  I like the sound of that!

As we age, our skin can/does react differently to perfumes – thus, an old favorite may not smell the same on us as it did years before. Add to that  the fact that our sense of smell often diminishes so that we can’t tell whether we’ve overdone it, or not!   Remember: Less is always more, with perfumes. 

Our perfumes also age…most experts agree that perfumes generally last from 3-5 years. You can help yours last longer by storing them away from direct sunlight and heat, a dresser drawer was one suggestion. (But, but, but…my beautiful tray, my artfully arranged Asian bottle collection!)  Don’t keep your perfumes in your bathroom either, because the temperature variations and extra humidity can lead to the fragrance’s deterioration. (Whew, glad I moved my tray of perfume out of the bathroom and onto my dresser where the bottles gleam and sparkle in the  sunlight!)  And last, keep them tightly closed to prevent evaporation which will causes changes in the fragrance’s balance.  (Wait a minute, if the bottle is tightly closed and evaporation is being prevented, how is humidity going to be a problem? ?)

Back to “Battleship Woman.” Maybe her perfume was due to expire and she wanted to use it up before it went to waste?   Still, too much, too heavy, and too dated a perfume only serves to make us seem old. Oh and speaking of old – you’ll thank me for being honest. Really, you will. There is nothing sexy about MOTHBALLS!  Not only will they keep moths away, they will keep people away!  There are healthy, non-toxic , and natural methods to keep the little bastards at bay. Always pack your clothes away clean. Moths go after body oils, and sweat on clothing. Use cedar blocks, or lavendar sachets. Buy storage boxes that seal tightly.  If you did pack in mothballs last season, either dry-clean, or launder, or air out your clothes completely before wearing them in public. Please!

What were we talking about? Oh, yes…perfume. I thought I’d invented this trick, but I guess not. It’s a great way to apply perfume so you have a light overall scent,  including your hair: Spray your perfume up in the air and walk through it. This is especially nice with all of the upcoming holiday parties and events where you will be in close quarters. 

After all this, I think the sexiest direction to move is to wear less perfume, rather than more. Switch to a lighter version of your favorite fragrance. Or best yet…try something brand new-to-you. Youv’e changed over the years, why shouldn’t your perfume?  Think of the fun you can have on this quest. Think of the compliments. Think of the samples!

So, I  am excited to be going on a new perfume hunt. I will look for a daytime eau de parfum, or eau de toilette, that sends the message, “I’m young at heart, chic and capable.” And, I will find an evening parfum that announces, “I’m sexy, and I know it!”  I don’t think that’s asking too much of a bottle of perfume. Do you?

Bon chance,

XO Donna