Material Girl

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As we get to the finish line on our house…. it’s remodeled, upgraded and repaired as much as we are willing to do – we can finally downsize, kick-back and relax!  I won’t have to keep 4 bathrooms clean. Someone else can rake leaves, sweep acorns off of the porch (over and over and over again) and maintain the lawns, pool and gardens. I think I always wanted to “want to garden.”  But the truth is, I only work at it so things will look pretty. 

Where was I going with this?  Oh, yes. Downsizing. Cleaning closets.  And the box of fabrics that I have been dragging around for at least 20 years!

I really love fabric. I grew up hanging around my father’s interior design store, where they also did upholstery on site. My father and I shared a love of the exotic and the modern. Downstairs was the upholstery shop, and there were racks of textiles and exquisite fabrics. It was the 60’s and I loved to sew vests with long fringe from the embroidered fabrics, or tapestries, that he’d bring home for me to wear with my bell bottoms. It was long ago…

Material GirlCleaning out the linen closet today, I looked at my box full of patterns and pages torn from magazines as inspiration, and large swaths of batik fabrics from Indonesia. Two pieces are gifts from an ex-lover who proposed marriage (safely knowing I didn’t want to be married) before moving to Jakarta. He sent me these beautiful pieces, then broke up with me long-distance, via telephone. The fabrics definitely turned out to be the better end of the deal! 

The floral on the bottom is a traditional print worn by the royal family in Indonesia. It was brought to me by Grace, a much-loved client, who has since passed away.  With the fashion trend now being exotic fabrics, I think the time may be right to sit down and sew again.  I won’t have the gardening, or as much house-keeping to do, so I will have time to sew some sexy Palazzo pants (pictured) and  bias-cut skirts. I dream of sheer, floaty tunics and a maxi-dress.

I’m just hoping that sewing doesn’t end up like gardening…something I want to want to do!

XO Donna

KID ME NOT

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kidmenot  In her foreword to KID ME NOT, Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) says:   “I have come to believe there are three sorts of women, when it comes to questions of maternity. There are women who are born to be mothers, women who are born to be aunties, and women who should not be allowed within ten feet of a child. Those of us who are natural-born aunties….love children, we enjoy children, but we know in our deepest marrow that we are not supposed to have children of our own. Now, listen – if you put a baby in front of me, rest assured: that baby is gonna get cuddled, spoiled and adored. But even as I’m loving on that beautiful infant, I know in my heart: This is not my destiny. It never was.”

“In the 1960’s women saw the advent of the birth control pill, making theirs the first generation to have reliable options when considering whether or not to become mothers.”

The editor of KID ME NOT, Aralyn Hughes, has gathered an intriguing collection of essays, hoping “our stories will sow seeds of respect between women who choose paths exclusive of children and those who have chosen the daunting task of being mothers.”

All of these women – Baby Boomers –  came of age during this tumultuous decade, and explain how that influenced their decision to remain child-free.  These are well-written,  insightful accounts of the way these women shaped their own lives; not giving in to pressure, and staying true to their deepest knowing.

As the population on the planet continues to grow and women fight for their freedom to have choices,  these timely stories are important both as a reflection on how we got here, and as a roadmap laying out options for today’s young women to consider when it comes to the issue of having children.

The fifteen stories in Kid Me Not are more widely varied than I ever expected, which kept me turning pages, and there are even little posters telling you what was going on every year;  e.g. in 1963 Beatlemania swept the UK. There was a new Polio vaccine dispensed on a lump of sugar. And Johnny Depp was born. 

 With black-and-white photo-collages of the authors  in the 60’s opening every story, and a current photo and “where they are now” as a bookend, it’s a fun read!  I enjoyed the stories from the women I don’t know, as well as those of my friends, and finished the whole book during my lunch break, cheering each writer on!

KID ME NOT is available at Amazon. Feel free to buy one for yourself, and for each the “nieces” in your life!   (Disclaimer: I am not receiving anything, except love,  for promoting this book. ) 

XO Donna

 

16 Saucy Questions – Gina Waterfield

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I know I’ve confessed this before, but maybe not to you…I’m nosy!  Investigative reporter nosy. Wish-I-could-look-in-your-closet-and-medicine-cabinet nosy. I also love to know what makes some women so sexy. I created these questions as a socially acceptable way to satisfy my curiosity…

 

Better GinaMeet Gina Waterfield, from right here in Austin, TX.  Trust me when I tell you that she is a force to be reckoned with!

She’s an artist by nature: a painter, a photographer, a stylist, and a great cook. She writes beautiful, evocative prose. She’s a certified Reiki practitioner and a yoga instructor. And she dresses more stylishly and fashion-forward  than anyone else I know.  Add to all of that: she’s the mother of  five grown children, and has 8 1/2 grandchildren!

I can’t wait for the book she’s working on to come out, so I can learn more of her stylish secrets.  She’s recuperating from rotator-cuff surgery, so we talked, joked, and laughed by telephone over this first-ever version of “Saucy Questions,”  which Gina kindly agreed to answer.  After looking at her responses, I realized that one of the biggest components of living a sexy life at any age is passion!  (And perhaps a great pair of heels…)

  1. Favorite cocktail?   Dirty Martini (vodka)
  2. Heels or flats?    Oh, heels. Especially kitten heels
  3. Pajamas, t-shirt, or au natural?    Skin is always in!
  4. Carnivore, veggie, or vegan?    Carnivore
  5. Exercise: Consistent or irregular?    Consistent
  6. Shopping – Love or Hate?    Love it!
  7. Cooking –  Love or hate?    Love
  8. Washing dishes –  Love or hate?    Love
  9. Biggest goal this year, in one word?    Book
  10. Favorite movie?    Whale Rider
  11. Favorite genre of books?    Self-help
  12. Hobbies?     My whole life is my passionate hobby!
  13. Favorite thing to do on Saturday night, in two words?   Date night
  14. Beach or Mountains?    The mountains have been calling me lately
  15. Fly or drive?    Drive
  16. What would your Last Supper be?    Surf & Turf, a Frisee Salad (made with grapes, walnuts, bleu cheese) and silky Panna Cotta.

(photo credit: Maria Gatling)

I hope you enjoyed this peek into Gina’s closet  exciting life. I certainly did!

XO Donna

Well Laid

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Oh. My. Goodness.  Wherever did you go with that headline? I am talking about setting a table to sit down and dine.

Yes, dine! You know: forks, knives, plates and napkins on a table. As opposed to eating out of the to-go container using plastic forks, or throwing the pizza box in the middle of the table with a roll of paper towels. Dine…rather than dig in, chow down, throw down, pig out, or slam something.

I’ve worked as a hair-stylist most of my adult life, and with one brief and beautiful exception at Zan Ray Salon, lunches were always quickly eaten on a break, while standing-up. When my stomach finally began to bother me, my doctor inquired, “How do you eat your meals?”  I told him. He advised me to always sit down when I eat. “It signals the body to relax,” he said. It also puts us in a frame of mind to appreciate our food.

Place Setting from homeinstyle.co.ilIf you look up “how to lay a table,” you will find the commonly accepted way looks something like this photo on the left.  Why would you bother?

  • Because life is short.
  • Because food is the fuel that nurtures you – if it doesn’t deserve a plate, maybe you shouldn’t be eating it.
  • And because you deserve to eat in a nice setting! I have to add one more thing: don’t save the “Fine China” for special occasions. Who is more important than you? What is more important than the fact that you are alive today?

I arranged to interview my friend Karen Louise recently, (more on that in another blog) and she said she’d open a bottle of Cropped Luncheon with Karenwine for us. Imagine my surprise when I walked in and was greeted by this perfect table! We sat and talked, lingering for hours. I haven’t felt so relaxed in ages. And I felt tres chic and honored by her careful attention!  (I’d love to see how she does “formal,” and wonder if there’s room at her Christmas table?)

Next time you get ready to eat, take an extra minute to lay a place at your table. Make it as simple, or sexy as you like. Remind yourself, and the people you’re with, that you are precious! Pass the good food, and share the love!

XO Donna

Gumbo Meditation

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I have never been able to sit on a cushion and stare at the wall. I’ve tried, trust me…over and over again. I thought it “would be good for me.” Finally a teacher told me that there are many ways to meditate, many ways to practice mindfulness. Perhaps I would do better with a moving meditation?

I haven’t sat still since!

I used to bake fresh bread as a form of relaxation and meditation…kneading the dough until it was as supple, smooth and soft as a newborn baby’s ass. The whole kitchen smelled of yeast, honey and love! I’d set aside a whole afternoon, it was like a vacation day for me. Then I developed a wheat allergy, and all of that was out the window. (deflated sigh)

Last Tuesday I was at my friend Gina’s house for lunch and a confab, and while we talked, she made Gumbo. I have never made it…ranking it up among the things I deemed too difficult; like an elegant Crown Roast or a Buche Noelle. I have lived this long without needing to cook any of them…and then I tasted her gumbo.  Holy Gina Marie Lucia! Gumbo

I had been watching closely, asking questions and taking notes as she cooked. And as she did, we sipped wine and caught up on each other’s lives (yes, we were day-drinking…but it was wine. Doesn’t count) and when she finally put a garnished bowl in front of me – I was hooked on gumbo. This stuff is the ‘Crack’ of the soup world!

This Tuesday, I made my first pot of gumbo. I overcame my fear, and when it was finished and ladled into bowls with some fresh steamed rice, I was thrilled!  (I had to substitute a gluten-free baking mix for the flour in the roux, yet it was still delicious.) 

I realize that I am rewarded every time I take steps to overcome a fear. And I’m  reminded that cooking is a lesson in staying present, a form of mindfulness meditation. From organizing the shopping list; remaining patient through all of the cutting, chopping, and measuring; and slowly, slowly browning the roux. The payoff  is not just in experiencing a delicious meal, but feeling both love and gratitude as I sit at the table and eat.  Gratitude that I have such healthy, delicious food to eat. Love for the partner I prepared it for (who adores gumbo), and for the dear friend who shared her expertise with me.

I can’t wait to make another batch!                   Want the recipe? Let me know in the comments!

XO Donna

Six Easy Pieces

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No…I’m not referring to the classic Jack Nicholson movie by almost the same title – but if you haven’t seen it, get thee to Netflix (or whoever you download films from) and watch “Five Easy Pieces.”   There is a scene in which Jack’s character is in a diner and trying to get toast to go with his meal.  Imagine the Stones singing “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” in the background.

But you…you can get what you want.  And easily, to boot!  Recently, a beautiful young friend, who shall remain unnamed, said that she’d reached that age where she couldn’t go out without make-up anymore. Then she changed it to, she could…but she shouldn’t.  I have to disagree, her skin is amazing. 

I know a few women around my age who still have amazing skin – they shunned the sun, while I smeared baby oil all over mine and tanned gloriously.  Fire Island! The Hamptons! Who could blame me?  Now…it’ll take a bit of dermabrasion, or lasers, to erase all of that fun!  

For the rest of us, who prefer not to go out bare-faced,  here are six quick and easy steps to cover uneven skin tone, add sunscreen, maintain moisture, and have everyone looking into your eyes and eating out of your hand! image

  1.    A creamy moisturizer with Vitamin C, applied to damp skin.
  2.    BB or CC cream, applied with a moistened sponge.
  3.   A matte eye shadow in a color to compliment, not match,  your eyes.  e.g. – mine are greenish, so I use a pale mauve. Blue?  Use soft coral.  Brown? Use a rich beige or soft cream.
  4.   Brow powder. Since our brows thin as we age. Brows are the frame around a beautiful painting. The finishing touch.
  5.   You could skip this, but I love a thin eyeliner smudged on my top lid along my lashes. You can do lower, too. But never lower only!
  6. Last step – mascara.  I recently learned a new trick: take a tissue and clean of your brush before applying it. It goes on cleaner, no clumps.

So there you have it.  A fast morning routine that will have you protected, and feeling sexy, in under ten minutes!  A swipe of tinted lipgloss, or sheer lipstick, a dash of perfume,  and you are ready for whatever the day may throw at you.

(For my gentlemen readers – After shaving,  I really encourage you to use a moisturizer with an SPF 25 or 30. Carry it up to your hairline, and on your ears and your neck. Ooh, remember cologne!)

XO  Donna

EXTRA! EXTRA!

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EXTRA!  EXTRA!  Read all about it!

On Tuesday, I had tea with an intelligent, passionate and delightful young woman –  Lora Tucker Kaasch. We talked and laughed for more than two hours…and that was barely enough time. We even had an interesting young “pick-up artist” join us and share some tips on efficiency!

Lora has RA (rheumatoid arthritis), and after her diagnosis, she was shocked at how few positive support groups existed. Rather than be one of the many people who do nothing about their illness, or view themselves as victims, she took action!

Her intention, and in fact, her accomplishment, is being an everyday outlet of Hope, Courage and Inspiration for people with RA and other auto-immune disorders. I am sure you know someone who can/will benefit from visiting her site.  While RA is more common in my age group, it’s being diagnosed in younger people everyday, even in teenagers!

Yesterday, I was a guest-writer on her blog, and that’s what I want you to “read all about.”

Below is the link to her site, which I encourage you to explore and share, and my post, which is an excerpt from my upcoming book. I am glad to have Lora as a new friend!

http://rheumwarrior.com/2014/02/26/bed-sweet-bed/

XO Donna

Decisions, decisions

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Lately, I have been beset with big decisions.  Life-changing decisions.  Do we sell the house and move closer to town?  Or stay here, in our home that we’ve worked on for ten years? If we move,  do we buy a condo, lease an apartment, or buy another, smaller house?   Can we retire?  Can I stay home and make a living writing full-time? Can we downsize drastically, and buy a motorhome (my sweetheart’s biggest dream) and spend time traveling? 

What do we do when we’re facing a big decision and we’re not sure which way to go? Fork in the road Read on, and I will share the solution for making the right decision when faced with a fork in the road.

You may be my age, you may be younger, but I’m sure you’ve realized that as we get older, time goes by faster.  It’s no illusion!  Life is short, so you must do the thing you’re dreaming of, and you have to do it now!  Marie Forleo (www.marieforleo.com) has the perfect solution: her 10 Year Test. Just ask yourself,  “Ten years from now, will I regret not doing this?”

Rather than focus on all of the reasons that you think you can’t do/be/have your desire, simply decide to follow your heart. Block out all of the other noise. What do you REALLY want?  I believe we have an innate wisdom as to what is right for ourselves.  To wit; I never wanted to be a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon.  I always wanted to be a writer and an artist. I believe we desire what we desire because it’s something we  are uniquely suited to accomplish! (although there were a few years when I wanted to grow up to be a cowboy or a horse…)

Follow your heartTrust your heart, trust the Universe, your Higher Power, your God. When making a big decision, know that the best decision for you…is ultimately the best decision for everyone else around you! You will be happy and fulfilled, and that will make you a better employee, parent, lover and friend.

As Marie Forleo said, and you can take this to the bank, “I have never, ever, ever met anyone who’s regretted following their heart!”

Whether you succeed or fail isn’t important when you are on the path of your heart’s desire. 

You can’t do it wrong…it’s all an opportunity to experience life. 

And, isn’t that what we came to this planet for in the first place?

XO Donna

Face It

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MirrorI love the fact that I am getting older, it certainly beats the alternative.  But, it’s not without it’s drawbacks…mostly mirrors!

As I wandered through the drugstore looking for a few products that had been voted “Best of 2013”  by New Beauty Magazine, I thought of Catherine Deneuve’s famous quote:  “After a certain age, you have to be ready to trade your ass for your face.”

Meaning the slimmer we are, the more it will show up on our faces.  So, we can carry an extra 10 pounds to keep our faces full, or we can keep our weight down and have our face look a little bit drawn.  Tough choice!

New Beauty Magazine caught my eye because I had never seen it before, and the cover promised Anti-Aging Innovations and Breakthroughs.   Their first, and foremost point: You Are What You Eat!  They advise us to adhere to an “anti-inflammatory diet” to improve skin, and heal it from the inside-out.  When you eat heavy, processed, sugary foods they make your skin dull and puffy.  Eating fresh foods with a high water-content:  veggies, berries and water-rich fruits are the best choice.

Green tea can boost your health, too. It’s rich in anti-oxidants that help fight inflammation and defend against cavity-causing bacteria, and it boosts the health of our teeth and gums while fending off bad breath.  These are all important aspects of staying sexy!

GIRAFFA CAMELOPARDIS PERALTANora Ephron wrote a great book of essays called, “I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman.”  I can relate to her anguish over her neck, and I hate to think that mine would have looked worse if I hadn’t exercized all of these years!  With that as my driving force, I read everything I could find on Ultherapy, a new non-invasive neck and chin-lift.  It’s FDA-cleared, and uses ultrasound to stimulate the production of collagen. (Another reason our skin looses firmness – we lose about 1 teaspoon of collagen from our faces each year after age  30).   While I’m impressed with the results and reviews, I will need to buy a piggy-bank and save up. The cost averages around $3,000. 

Until my piggy-bank is full, the winner of the best Neck Firming Cream is Perricone MD Cold Plasma Sub-D.  It’s a DMAE and caffeine-infused formula that claims to firm saggy skin and improve the neck, chin and decollete area. Reviewers said they had a healthier and firmer appearance overall.  Cost:  $135.00 which won’t break that bank!

  downward dogAnother way to improve the health of the skin on our faces and necks is Yoga!  The inverted poses provide reverse blood-flow giving skin both nutrients and oxygen. Take that, gravity! Yoga also helps decrease stress, increase flexibility, and calm the nervous system. All of which are  great ways to stay sexy.

I remember seeing the magnificent Katherine Hepburn on TV one night, and she was asked for words of wisdom on aging.  I was on the edge of my seat to hear what she would offer!  She smiled, and her head wobbling as it does, she said, “Your body rots, and it’s a goddamned shame!”

You know…it does, and it is.  So have fun.  Learn to love yourself. Eat well. And do the best you can with what you’ve been given.  An attitude of gratitude, an open smile, and some beautiful lipgloss will go a long way!

XO Donna

Running On Empty

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I just read an article that got my knickers all in a twist.  It’s entitled, “19 Hard Things You Need To Do To Be Successful,” by a gentleman named Dame Luthas.  Most are right on, but I take issue with the five below, that are just plain wrong!  (In my humble opinion, of course). 

Why is this worth writing about?  Because, in their quest to reinvent themselves, or excel at their job, or succeed at a new career, or be a great mother, women are often too tolerant, and way too accepting. We have generally been raised to be “nice.”  When we do stand up for ourselves, we might find people telling us that we’re selfish.  That’s a manipulation, and one that we as women need to get beyond. 

 A woman who is strong enough to be generous, knows what she wants and where she’s going,  AND takes care of herself FIRST, IN ORDER to take care of others…is pretty damned sexy!

Without any further ado – the excerpts from the article and my response:

  1. You have to care more about others more than they care about you.   (DO- You just have to care about what you’re doing, a lot.  Leave “the others” out of it.)
  2. You have to look like a fool while you’re looking for answers you don’t have.  (DO –  Baloney…a fool is the person who doesn’t search for the answer.)
  3. You have to make mistakes and look like an idiot.  (DO – The author seems to have some issues with looking bad.  Making mistakes makes you look like someone who is trying to succeed!)
  4. You have to be accountable for your actions even when things go wrong.  (DO – Even?  Try always.)
  5. You have to be kind to people who have been cruel to you.  (DO – Bullsh*t!  Don’t ever let anyone be cruel to you for any reason. You deserve better.  Actually – you deserve the very best!royalty-free-vector-logo-of-a-retro-pink-fuel-pump-by-patrimonio-743)

You can have big goals, be clear about how you allow people to treat you, and prioritize your own needs…and not be a bitch.  Trust that. Putting yourself first, in order to take care of others is the only sane choice. What will you have to give, and how will you succeed at anything, when you’re running on empty? 

XO Donna