Southern Heart

2 Comments

“More than any other part of America, the South stands apart. Natives will tell you this. They are…conscious of a loyalty to a place where habits are strong and memories are long.”    Tim Jacobson, Heritage of the South

Let me start out by saying that my tastes are very catholic (not to be confused with the religion that I abandoned eons ago. Big difference). I love all kinds of exotic food, and it’s hard for me to turn down a Prohibition Era cocktail or a good glass of Champagne.

But, like my Mom, I’m a Southern girl at heart. I positively swoon over things like The Allman Brothers Band, Spanish moss dripping from big oaks, hot buttermilk biscuits, and a simmering pot of navy beans with a ham hock. And then, there’s always a damned fine glass of bourbon to look forward to.

imageMy Mom never cooked okra, and I hadn’t either until I saw this recipe by BJ Dennis in my latest Garden & Gun Magazine. It wasn’t hard, or even time-consuming. A little bit of prep work (I noticed the okra were “prickly” so I scrubbed each and every one against the grain. Probably get laughed at by a “real” southern cook for that!) The whole thing comes together in about 12 minutes.  Easy and delicious, Mom would have loved this…I hope you do, too.

Dedicated to Evelyn O’Klock     April 24, 1931 – September 4, 1998

http://gardenandgun.com/article/cast-iron-recipe-sautéed-shrimp-and-okra

Bon apetit, y’all!

XO Donna

 

 

 

 

 

What I’ve learned

9 Comments

imageThere was a time when I lived in tiny, down-trodden little houses, because they were all I could afford. Little houses, right downtown, that someone else owned and I rented. It was my son and me for 20 years, with me fixing them up to meet my artistic sensibilities and to have working lights, sinks without rust running from faucet to drain, doors that closed and locked, and heavy drapes to stave off the cold and hold in the meager heat generated by the gas heaters in the winter. I wished for a bigger house, with central air & heat, a big kitchen and a swimming pool – someday.

I have finally lived in THAT house, having bought it to fix-and-flip…and after 10 years of fixing it up we are ready to sell. A clever friend called it, “a long, slow flip.”  Has a sexy ring to it, doesn’t it? For ten years we have been taking care of everything. Absolutely everything. And now we both look forward to down-sizing and renting!

And we are thinking carefully about what we want in the future. Which brought me to the thought today that I am glad that I’ve never been a big consumer. The more you have, the more you have to care for. The more you own, the more it owns you!

We are inundated with ads everywhere we look encouraging us to buy, buy, buy. Spend, spend, spend! Resist, if you can. Buy less. Buy quality. Focus on what’s most important – be it family, friends, learning, or freedom.

What I have learned is that rather than wishing for a big house, with a pool, and a boat, and a vacation home…wish for good friends with those things, in wonderful locales – and go visit them!

imageAnd, always be the perfect guest – so you will get invited back.

How to be a perfect guest?

  1. Always bring your hosts an elegant gift that you know they’d enjoy.
  2. Never complain. About anything.
  3. Always help with the dishes.
  4. Don’t stay too long. (My dear Mom always said, “Company, even good company, is like garbage. After 3 days it starts to stink.”)
  5. Ask if you can strip the bed on the day you are leaving. (Some hosts don’t want to deal with a pile of sheets and towels right then.)
  6. Always send a sincere thank-you note as soon as possible.

So, I am putting you all on notice: as soon as our house sells and we buy our RV, we can come visit you. You know we have learned the art of being good guests…

XO Donna

My Liebster Award

2 Comments

image

What a sweet surprise! Sexy Past 60 was nominated for a Liebster Award by Lora Tucker Kaasch, a woman I am honored to call a friend.  Although she lives with RA, she is one of the most active women I know, and a continual inspiration to everyone she meets. Since I thought I recognized it as a German word, I looked it up and it means:  “liked very much, darling, sweetheart.”  I’ll take it, thank you, Lora!

What I was asked:

  1. What was a profound turning point in your life?  Having the conviction to write my first play and enter it in a competition in 3rd grade. Although I lost to Randy Dayton’s play about Martians, I knew that I wanted to be a writer!
  2. Hot, sun and sand…or cold snow and mountains?  Give me turquoise water and Bain de Soleil, any day!
  3. Number 1 on your bucket list?  Since having a “bucket list” implies that I’m thinking about kicking it, I just have a treasure map of images I’d like to experience; quiet beaches, solitary pools of water, romantic waterfalls.
  4. What’s your favorite libation?  A very, very Dirty Tito’s Martini.
  5. What do you do to unwind from a long day?  Sit down, put my feet up and indulge in #4.
  6. Who is one person who changed your life for the better?  Zan Ray
  7. Kindle/iPad/ or an “old fashioned” book?  I love my iPad for convenience and night reading…but love the weight, feel and smell of books!
  8. Where did you go on your last vacation? We rode a Harley down the coast of northern CA with another couple. Going to do it again next month with even more friends this time.
  9. What’s your specialty meal? Thanksgiving: turkey, sourdough stuffing with artichokes, Chipotle mashed sweet potatoes, home-made cranberry sauce.
  10. If you could do anything in the world, what would it be? To publish a book that would be a fun read, and help women feel great, and great about themselves…and let me meet Ina Garten and Ellen DeGeneres.
  11. What’s your favorite thing about blogging? That I get to sit down when I’m doing it!

11 facts about myself: I was born in St. Louis. My Mom used to take us from NY to St. Louis to San Antonio then back home to NY, on the train each summer in the 1950’s. Karen VF and I used to lie to our mothers about where we were sleeping, and slept on the beach in the Hamptons. I played drums in school. I studied Spanish all through high school because I had a crush on the (only) Spanish teacher. I wanted to convert to Judiasm when I was 15. (My father said “no.”) I wanted to be a hairstylist when I was 16. (My father said “no daughter of mine…”)  I wanted to be a Pan Am stewardess upon graduation at 17. (Dad = Absolutely not!)  My son Jason Austin was born in 1971. I became a hairstylist in 1976. And I moved to Austin in 1978.

I want to acknowledge these 11 Bloggers/Writers/Sources of Inspiration for me:

  1. Lora Tucker Kaasch – Rheumatoid Arthritis: Hope Courage Inspiration.com
  2. Joseph Rosenfeld Personal Brand and Style Strategist
  3. Melissa Johnson Lombard – MelissaLombard.com
  4. Carla Crownover – Austin Urban Gardens on WordPress
  5. Nina and Paul – WheelingIt.com
  6. Gina Waterfield – Gina Marie Life
  7. Susan Tolles – The Flourishing Life.com
  8. Ari Seth Cohen – Advanced Style on WordPress
  9. Ilene Haddad – IleenieWeenie.com
  10. Tara Mohr – TaraMohr.com
  11. Danielle La Porte – DanielleLaPorte.com

Check them out, you’ll find lots of great reading, I’m sure.  And, if anyone is making Dirty Martinis – call me!

XO Donna

 

 

Patience, my ass….

2 Comments

imageI’m gonna kill something!

When I first saw this cartoon in the 1970’s there were vultures sitting on top of Saguaro cactus in the middle of the desert. The sentiment is spot-on for my state of mind.

We are THIS CLOSE to being able to list the house…but every time I think the end is in sight, the finish line moves a few feet further away…like a mirage, shimmering in the distance.

It’s all important little details, to be sure. What buyer wouldn’t love a house where all of the trim is freshly touched up, the cabinets are clean and crumb-free, all the corners are dust-bunny free?  We are going over this house with an inspector’s eye, and we hope all our work will translate into a quick sale, and make any buyer thrilled to call this house their own!

A couple of nights ago we hurried out front, as excited as children, to see the beautiful orange Super Moon. It’s always been one of our pleasures, sitting on our front porch and admiring the full moon each month ( and we’ve had many, many moons in this house;  about one hundred and twenty-six of them). imageWhile I will always remember “our porch” I know there will be full moons where-ever we go.  And we have next year’s Super Moon to look forward to…I wonder where we will be when we get to see that one?

I’m noticing a bit of melancholy and frustration as I clean and pack, and I think perhaps staying too busy is my way of avoiding the impending feeling of loss. But I remind myself that even the moon must wane in order to become full and luminous again.  There she will be, back in the sky every month.

We must have endings in order to have new beginnings.

So, as much as I chomp at the bit and want to hurry up and get on with it, I struggle to stay present in each moment and deal with what’s right in front of me, right now, and to celebrate and allow the unfolding of this experience.

Which reminds me of another poster: “God, I ask that you grant me patience. Right now!”

XO Donna

3 Kinds of clean

3 Comments

I “kind of” knew this, but this turkey really came home to roost (am I mixing metaphors?) as I cleaned the house for the real estate photos being taken today.

There’s Level 1 Clean- it’s the clean we keep our home for ourselves on a daily basis. I am comfortable here unless I have friends coming to visit. Then I get after it until it’s at Level 2 Clean. If you have a cleaning person come to your house, you get to Level 2 every, or perhaps every other, week.
If not…it’s the clean you do for your folks or in-laws. Or before the house-keeper comes. I don’t want to have a housekeeper. I’m kinda like Monk in that way. I can’t stand the thought of someone else having to clean up after me.

Touching my stuff. imageEeewww.

Today I had to clean all the way to a Level 3 Clean. That’s what you do for visiting dignitaries. None of our everyday stuff is on the counters. Every single surface in the house is polished. Every dust mote has been banished. Everything is Architectural Digest sleek, sexy, gleaming! The photos for the brochure and online advertising will be gorgeous. I was so excited when the photographer let me look through her lens. Wow….

My joy was short-lived because I realize we are going to have to keep it at Level 3 Clean the whole time it’s on the market. I pray that my premonition that it sells before it even hits the market is true. I can’t live like this…

XO Donna

Day at the Beach

Leave a comment

I wish!  But I am taking the day off from writing any more than this note today because our bedroom and closet just got brand new carpet. And I am touching up the baseboards before we bring the furniture back in… all in preparation for selling our house.

(Notice that I’m not calling it “our home” anymore?) imageWe slept on our mattress in the middle of the floor last night, and loved it. You only get to do that a few times in life where it’s adventurous, sexy and exciting….

I’ll be back next week, thank you for staying tuned.

XO Donna

Love Letter to My Bosses, Redux

Leave a comment

(This was originally posted  in July, 2014. I felt I had to edit, and share it again. Thank you for understanding.  Donna)

With two very brief exceptions, I have been a hairstylist my whole adult life. I got my licence in 1976 in New York and I find it hard to believe time has gone by so quickly! In all that time as a stylist, I’ve only had three bosses.

Dragon OrchidThe first demanded the very best of us and gave us the very best of everything in return. She provided a state-of-the-art salon and education for us,  both on a professional level, and a personal-growth level.  I owe much of who I’ve become to her. Though we didn’t part on the best of terms, I feel a profound love and gratitude for her strength and vision.  I see that her expectations of me, though grand, were nothing more than she asked of herself, and nothing I couldn’t have lived up to. I told her this a couple years ago, and we are now on good terms.

After her, I rented a studio from a sweet man for almost 14 years…he was kind, affable, and always in a good mood. All he wanted was for us to have a good life, have fun, and respect each other. He would have loved it if we had become one-big-happy-family.  He regularly pointed out how lucky we were to be self-employed stylists, and if you forgot what those reasons were,  he’d gladly recite them. He passed away a couple of years ago…and I am grateful that he knew how much I loved him.

I briefly had my second boss after him. It was not a good fit for either of us, and I left after a year. ‘Nough said.

I have had the good fortune to work part-time for my third boss, Josh, for three years now, although I have known him for many more. He is another salon owner that truly wanted his staff to be happy and successful. And for more than twenty years, he and Bella Salon have been a fixture on the Austin scene.

More orchids1The greeting above our front desk: Love All, Serve All says it all.

Josh found out that he had lung cancer shortly after I began. Three years later he is in Hospice care and will pass out of this world any day now.  My heart is breaking as I think about Bella Salon without Josh. He made sure we know everything will be okay, and he has worked, surrounded by his clients and his beautiful orchids, until it became impossible to do so.

Last week before he left he stood in the doorway of our room, hands in his pockets, and watched us with our clients. He smiled beatifically, taking it all in, as if to remember every bit of it. His presence there felt like a benediction.

Josh was passionate about his art – so much so that he’d rather be at the salon than almost anywhere else. I aspire to bring that kind of passion to everything I do. Bella will go on, we are professionals who also love what we do. We will follow Josh’s example and live up to the credo at our entrance.

Godspeed, my friend. Until we meet again.

XO Donna

Sympathy for the Devil

10 Comments

God, or the Devil, is in the details…depending on how you choose to look at it. We are down to the last details before putting our house on the market. We didn’t intend to be here this long. What started out as a 2-year plan turned into a fixer-upper that needed much more fixing-up than we bargained for. Being the type of people who believe wholeheartedly in karma, with a capital K, we did our best with each new challenge we ran into. (Maybe it is the Devil…)

Ten years after we started, we are almost through. The trim is touched up. Closets are being cleaned. Furniture is being sold. New carpet is going in the master suite. The pool is gleaming. The garden is lush. As much as we’ve looked forward to this, it’s bringing us to a new place in our lives, and yes, we are both excited and scared. image

It shows up in funny ways. I just spent weeks looking for the “perfect” new car, stressed out, and sick over it. But I had to make a decision because my lease was up. I finally decided on a Mini Cooper 4-door Countryman because it’s adorable and it can be towed behind an RV.  Kind of “cart before the horse,” I know.  But, being a good Boy Scout, I am now prepared!

And for the first time in 22 years, I am driving a manual transmission again. This car is fun…so much so that my sweetheart keeps asking to take it. Another benefit: I feel more engaged while driving it – no talking on the phone or drinking coffee on the way in to work. You need both hands.

I always conduct informal surveys, and I’ve learned than most women close to my age can drive a manual. Almost none of the young women I’ve asked are able. (Although nobody can drive them in platform wedges! Jeez. Who knew?)

Can you drive a manual? Was it your first car? Who taught you? Let me know. Informal survey stuff, you know. (Actually, I’m just nosy.)

So, that’s me. Mid-air. I used to love change just for the sake of change. Now I am open to change for the better. Change for the experience and excitement. I hope to remain this courageous and open for as long as I get to be on this big blue marble!

XO Donna

Lady Liberty

Leave a comment

imageWhat a treat – a long weekend. Time for leisurely pursuits, friends and family gatherings, American food and barbeques, and best of all…fireworks! I love the 4th of July.

I’ve always been a sucker for The Statue of Liberty, ever since the first time I saw her as a kid on a field trip to NYC. I loved her promise of fresh starts and new beginnings…if you show up and work for it.

That’s the way it is in our personal growth, too. If you want to change, or grow, or  fulfill a dream, you must first believe it’s possible. You must become an immigrant to a richer world. Picture yourself being there. Then do all of the necessary work. And last, get out of  your own way. Allow your faith – in your God,  The Universe, or your Self to carry you along to where you want to be. To experience what you want to experience.

Break away from what others say is, or isn’t possible. Break away from fear and self-doubt. Break away from old thoughts, useless beliefs, and expectations.

Risk it all for what you truly desire in your life.  That’s what made this country…and what has made this country great!

XO Donnaimage

Party Girl

8 Comments

I just took the plates out of the dishwasher. They are clean and dry, and still warm as I pack them. I am selling my Fiestaware. I’ve been collecting it for a long time, but it’s time to pass it on and let someone else party with it.image

“Fiesta” means “party” in Spanish. These heavy, colorful dishes bring a casual, “just a few good friends over for dinner” vibe to the table every time. And the Margaritas that have been made in that pitcher…Ay, caramba! My mouth waters just thinking about it.

I’ve put all the plates in a crate that was holding books, which I’ve left sitting in a stack on the garage floor. Next stop. Half-Price Books. The bowls are in one bag, and the infamous Margarita pitcher is in another. I carry them out to the front porch where I will meet the young man who is headed my way to buy them. And as I do my throat constricts.

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  Eleanor Roosevelt

Why? Why am I letting these go? I ask myself that with each thing I give away, or sell. And my reasons are valid. These are too heavy. We are downsizing. We are moving. We are trading all of this for…adventure. For something new and unknown. It’s an “eyes on the prize” mindset that keeps me moving forward. I know that eventually, I will leave everything behind, so why not start the disentanglement now? And why not start with the things that are hardest to let go of, first? Perhaps it’s perverse. Or better yet, brave. Things will just get easier.image

I look at the crate and bags sitting on my porch, and hope that the young man buying them is opening a restaurant…his Craigslist name seemed to suggest that. I imagine myself going to his cafe, ordering a delicious dessert, and it arriving on one of my Fiestaware plates. Full circle. I hope he will love them, and they will serve him and his guests as well, and with as much gusto, as they have me and my friends over the years.

XO Donna