MISSION (not) IMPOSSIBLE

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The Objective:  To organize and pack all of the clothes, shoes, and toiletries needed for a 6 night motorcycle trip that includes San Francisco, Carmel, Cambria, and Napa.

The Suitcase:  A 13″ x 20″ x 7″ saddlebag on a Honda Goldwing. Yes…just one for me.  And, it’s about 6″ bigger than this grocery bag.image

The Packing List: Since a picture is worth a thousand words, what you see below has got to fit in what you see above. Except the boots, I’m wearing them on the plane. Each time we do this, I try to be a little more Zen, a bit more ascetic. I get all “Martha Stewart” on my suitcase. But I know there’s always a tiny piece of real estate in a corner of the saddlebag, or top-box, that I can claim. (Full disclosure: We have a large suitcase to check that contains our riding jackets, rain-gear, my chaps and helmet, and his boots.)image

The Emotional Baggage:  My perfectionistic desire to pack the “right clothes” haunts me. I lie awake at night worried that I will forget something important. Or that I’m being too practical, too simple, and not feminine enough. Then I remind myself that we are going to be on motorcycles…not front row at New York Fashion Week. I also worry that I won’t get enough rest…it’s hard to keep up with this bunch!

The Mission: This ride is to celebrate a couple of Big Birthdays in our group. It’s spending time with 5 other couples who are good friends. Taking time to wine-and-dine, to ride amazing roads, and all enjoy a full-on sensory experience. We’ll be creating memories and great stories to laugh about and tell, and retell, later on.image

The Big Question Mark: Lots of people have asked me, “Don’t you worry about everyone getting along?” I’d have to say no, not really. Our “gang” has been together for 15 years. We’ve (almost) all taken turns playing the fool, but ultimately we know it’s important for us to support each other.

I’ve noticed that when something comes up, men handle it quickly – they call each other on it. Women have more trouble doing this. Our feelings get hurt. This is the only time I’d agree with Dr. Doolittle’s query, “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?”  Well, that, and when we’re out in the middle of nowhere and really need a restroom!

In less than 48 hours we will all be meeting-up in San Francisco. I have to get my packing zipped-up by tonight. If I didn’t know that I’d done this last year, I’d be really stressed out about it. But, I got this.

XO Donna

P.S. – No blog next week while I’m on the road.

 

I hate rules

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Unless they make sense to me. Then I am cooperative, part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Guidelines are okay. But rules…I need to know who made them up, and why? What’s in it for them? What’s in it for me?

imageQuestion things. (Especially yourself!) Don’t buy the party line. Go find answers for yourself. Continually seeking, learning and growing will keep you engaged and young-at-heart. Great underwear will keep you sexy. As will not following all of the rules for fear of what others will think.

As irony would have it, this week I have been inundated with lists of “rules-to-live-by” from friends. Knowing how I feel about rules, you can predict how I feel about lists of rules.

Some of them were great, especially if I chose to call them guidelines rather than rules. Some of them were way too black & white. Some were sappy crap. Some were important, wise reminders. And one was x-rated, hysterical, tears-rolling-down-my-face funny!  (I’ve posted the link for that below)

Since everyone’s making lists, I’d like to present you with my own list:

  1. Eat healthy food 85% of the time. Always drink lots of water.
  2. You can only love others as much as you love yourself.
  3. Don’t do things out of obligation, or fear of what people will think of you.
  4. Throw out your ugly panties. Wear a bra that fits properly. You’re a goddess.
  5. Give out what you’d like to receive. Karma can be a bitch, baby.
  6. Dream BIG. Takes chances. It can turn out even better than you imagine!
  7. Take care of yourself FIRST in order to take care of others.
  8. Don’t compare and don’t judge. Allow yourself to be inspired instead.
  9. Let go of the past. Except happy memories. Be here now.
  10. We will get older, (dammit) but we don’t have to get old. That’s just a mindset

 

The x-rated list is here:  http://tryingtobegood.com/love/how-to-be-ideal-seriously-I-got-this

XO Love, Donna

 

Help Along the Way

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(I have to give credit for the title to Anne LaMott – a writer who always inspires me.)

I got to spend the morning brainstorming, laughing, and dreaming with my friend Gina. She always gives me much-needed help with my writing, and always inspires me with her writing/food/photography. We are both working on books. Today was both work and play, the best kind of day.  We seem to have the gift of being able to open doors for each other. Actually, that’s what all of my friendships are based on – the inspiration we offer each other.

Here’s a nugget from Robert Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad: “Always hang out with people who inspire you.”

imageI met Gina a couple of years ago on Facebook – she reached out and introduced herself, and we’ve been friends ever since!  With our children grown and on their own, we are both moving into a new phase of our lives. We are pursuing the dreams that were put on hold while we were raising our kids, running our households, and working. (Notice the Wonder- Woman bag to our right, in the window?)

With our dreams tempered by years of life-experience, it is now our job to get them out into the world. And that was our focus today.

Here’s another nugget, this one from Insight Seminars: What you focus on…you get more of.”

I have friends that inspire and delight me daily, and I’ve never even met them in person. I feel this is one of the best things about Facebook, say what you will. Sure, there’s lots of rabid politics, righteousness, and negativity to be found there, but that’s where you get to choose what you’re going to focus on. With the push of a button all of that can be out of your life instantly – unlike a bad boss, incompetent co-workers or certain family members.

We focus on our goals, and dream big – but we’re not too attached to how it shows up. Gina and I ended our visit grateful for some friend-time, for everything we have in our lives (because on some level, we’ve created it) and grateful for how much fun we are having with the people we love.

Oh, and for our sanity!

XO Donna

 

Southern Heart

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“More than any other part of America, the South stands apart. Natives will tell you this. They are…conscious of a loyalty to a place where habits are strong and memories are long.”    Tim Jacobson, Heritage of the South

Let me start out by saying that my tastes are very catholic (not to be confused with the religion that I abandoned eons ago. Big difference). I love all kinds of exotic food, and it’s hard for me to turn down a Prohibition Era cocktail or a good glass of Champagne.

But, like my Mom, I’m a Southern girl at heart. I positively swoon over things like The Allman Brothers Band, Spanish moss dripping from big oaks, hot buttermilk biscuits, and a simmering pot of navy beans with a ham hock. And then, there’s always a damned fine glass of bourbon to look forward to.

imageMy Mom never cooked okra, and I hadn’t either until I saw this recipe by BJ Dennis in my latest Garden & Gun Magazine. It wasn’t hard, or even time-consuming. A little bit of prep work (I noticed the okra were “prickly” so I scrubbed each and every one against the grain. Probably get laughed at by a “real” southern cook for that!) The whole thing comes together in about 12 minutes.  Easy and delicious, Mom would have loved this…I hope you do, too.

Dedicated to Evelyn O’Klock     April 24, 1931 – September 4, 1998

http://gardenandgun.com/article/cast-iron-recipe-sautéed-shrimp-and-okra

Bon apetit, y’all!

XO Donna

 

 

 

 

 

What I’ve learned

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imageThere was a time when I lived in tiny, down-trodden little houses, because they were all I could afford. Little houses, right downtown, that someone else owned and I rented. It was my son and me for 20 years, with me fixing them up to meet my artistic sensibilities and to have working lights, sinks without rust running from faucet to drain, doors that closed and locked, and heavy drapes to stave off the cold and hold in the meager heat generated by the gas heaters in the winter. I wished for a bigger house, with central air & heat, a big kitchen and a swimming pool – someday.

I have finally lived in THAT house, having bought it to fix-and-flip…and after 10 years of fixing it up we are ready to sell. A clever friend called it, “a long, slow flip.”  Has a sexy ring to it, doesn’t it? For ten years we have been taking care of everything. Absolutely everything. And now we both look forward to down-sizing and renting!

And we are thinking carefully about what we want in the future. Which brought me to the thought today that I am glad that I’ve never been a big consumer. The more you have, the more you have to care for. The more you own, the more it owns you!

We are inundated with ads everywhere we look encouraging us to buy, buy, buy. Spend, spend, spend! Resist, if you can. Buy less. Buy quality. Focus on what’s most important – be it family, friends, learning, or freedom.

What I have learned is that rather than wishing for a big house, with a pool, and a boat, and a vacation home…wish for good friends with those things, in wonderful locales – and go visit them!

imageAnd, always be the perfect guest – so you will get invited back.

How to be a perfect guest?

  1. Always bring your hosts an elegant gift that you know they’d enjoy.
  2. Never complain. About anything.
  3. Always help with the dishes.
  4. Don’t stay too long. (My dear Mom always said, “Company, even good company, is like garbage. After 3 days it starts to stink.”)
  5. Ask if you can strip the bed on the day you are leaving. (Some hosts don’t want to deal with a pile of sheets and towels right then.)
  6. Always send a sincere thank-you note as soon as possible.

So, I am putting you all on notice: as soon as our house sells and we buy our RV, we can come visit you. You know we have learned the art of being good guests…

XO Donna

My Liebster Award

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image

What a sweet surprise! Sexy Past 60 was nominated for a Liebster Award by Lora Tucker Kaasch, a woman I am honored to call a friend.  Although she lives with RA, she is one of the most active women I know, and a continual inspiration to everyone she meets. Since I thought I recognized it as a German word, I looked it up and it means:  “liked very much, darling, sweetheart.”  I’ll take it, thank you, Lora!

What I was asked:

  1. What was a profound turning point in your life?  Having the conviction to write my first play and enter it in a competition in 3rd grade. Although I lost to Randy Dayton’s play about Martians, I knew that I wanted to be a writer!
  2. Hot, sun and sand…or cold snow and mountains?  Give me turquoise water and Bain de Soleil, any day!
  3. Number 1 on your bucket list?  Since having a “bucket list” implies that I’m thinking about kicking it, I just have a treasure map of images I’d like to experience; quiet beaches, solitary pools of water, romantic waterfalls.
  4. What’s your favorite libation?  A very, very Dirty Tito’s Martini.
  5. What do you do to unwind from a long day?  Sit down, put my feet up and indulge in #4.
  6. Who is one person who changed your life for the better?  Zan Ray
  7. Kindle/iPad/ or an “old fashioned” book?  I love my iPad for convenience and night reading…but love the weight, feel and smell of books!
  8. Where did you go on your last vacation? We rode a Harley down the coast of northern CA with another couple. Going to do it again next month with even more friends this time.
  9. What’s your specialty meal? Thanksgiving: turkey, sourdough stuffing with artichokes, Chipotle mashed sweet potatoes, home-made cranberry sauce.
  10. If you could do anything in the world, what would it be? To publish a book that would be a fun read, and help women feel great, and great about themselves…and let me meet Ina Garten and Ellen DeGeneres.
  11. What’s your favorite thing about blogging? That I get to sit down when I’m doing it!

11 facts about myself: I was born in St. Louis. My Mom used to take us from NY to St. Louis to San Antonio then back home to NY, on the train each summer in the 1950’s. Karen VF and I used to lie to our mothers about where we were sleeping, and slept on the beach in the Hamptons. I played drums in school. I studied Spanish all through high school because I had a crush on the (only) Spanish teacher. I wanted to convert to Judiasm when I was 15. (My father said “no.”) I wanted to be a hairstylist when I was 16. (My father said “no daughter of mine…”)  I wanted to be a Pan Am stewardess upon graduation at 17. (Dad = Absolutely not!)  My son Jason Austin was born in 1971. I became a hairstylist in 1976. And I moved to Austin in 1978.

I want to acknowledge these 11 Bloggers/Writers/Sources of Inspiration for me:

  1. Lora Tucker Kaasch – Rheumatoid Arthritis: Hope Courage Inspiration.com
  2. Joseph Rosenfeld Personal Brand and Style Strategist
  3. Melissa Johnson Lombard – MelissaLombard.com
  4. Carla Crownover – Austin Urban Gardens on WordPress
  5. Nina and Paul – WheelingIt.com
  6. Gina Waterfield – Gina Marie Life
  7. Susan Tolles – The Flourishing Life.com
  8. Ari Seth Cohen – Advanced Style on WordPress
  9. Ilene Haddad – IleenieWeenie.com
  10. Tara Mohr – TaraMohr.com
  11. Danielle La Porte – DanielleLaPorte.com

Check them out, you’ll find lots of great reading, I’m sure.  And, if anyone is making Dirty Martinis – call me!

XO Donna

 

 

Patience, my ass….

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imageI’m gonna kill something!

When I first saw this cartoon in the 1970’s there were vultures sitting on top of Saguaro cactus in the middle of the desert. The sentiment is spot-on for my state of mind.

We are THIS CLOSE to being able to list the house…but every time I think the end is in sight, the finish line moves a few feet further away…like a mirage, shimmering in the distance.

It’s all important little details, to be sure. What buyer wouldn’t love a house where all of the trim is freshly touched up, the cabinets are clean and crumb-free, all the corners are dust-bunny free?  We are going over this house with an inspector’s eye, and we hope all our work will translate into a quick sale, and make any buyer thrilled to call this house their own!

A couple of nights ago we hurried out front, as excited as children, to see the beautiful orange Super Moon. It’s always been one of our pleasures, sitting on our front porch and admiring the full moon each month ( and we’ve had many, many moons in this house;  about one hundred and twenty-six of them). imageWhile I will always remember “our porch” I know there will be full moons where-ever we go.  And we have next year’s Super Moon to look forward to…I wonder where we will be when we get to see that one?

I’m noticing a bit of melancholy and frustration as I clean and pack, and I think perhaps staying too busy is my way of avoiding the impending feeling of loss. But I remind myself that even the moon must wane in order to become full and luminous again.  There she will be, back in the sky every month.

We must have endings in order to have new beginnings.

So, as much as I chomp at the bit and want to hurry up and get on with it, I struggle to stay present in each moment and deal with what’s right in front of me, right now, and to celebrate and allow the unfolding of this experience.

Which reminds me of another poster: “God, I ask that you grant me patience. Right now!”

XO Donna

3 Kinds of clean

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I “kind of” knew this, but this turkey really came home to roost (am I mixing metaphors?) as I cleaned the house for the real estate photos being taken today.

There’s Level 1 Clean- it’s the clean we keep our home for ourselves on a daily basis. I am comfortable here unless I have friends coming to visit. Then I get after it until it’s at Level 2 Clean. If you have a cleaning person come to your house, you get to Level 2 every, or perhaps every other, week.
If not…it’s the clean you do for your folks or in-laws. Or before the house-keeper comes. I don’t want to have a housekeeper. I’m kinda like Monk in that way. I can’t stand the thought of someone else having to clean up after me.

Touching my stuff. imageEeewww.

Today I had to clean all the way to a Level 3 Clean. That’s what you do for visiting dignitaries. None of our everyday stuff is on the counters. Every single surface in the house is polished. Every dust mote has been banished. Everything is Architectural Digest sleek, sexy, gleaming! The photos for the brochure and online advertising will be gorgeous. I was so excited when the photographer let me look through her lens. Wow….

My joy was short-lived because I realize we are going to have to keep it at Level 3 Clean the whole time it’s on the market. I pray that my premonition that it sells before it even hits the market is true. I can’t live like this…

XO Donna

Day at the Beach

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I wish!  But I am taking the day off from writing any more than this note today because our bedroom and closet just got brand new carpet. And I am touching up the baseboards before we bring the furniture back in… all in preparation for selling our house.

(Notice that I’m not calling it “our home” anymore?) imageWe slept on our mattress in the middle of the floor last night, and loved it. You only get to do that a few times in life where it’s adventurous, sexy and exciting….

I’ll be back next week, thank you for staying tuned.

XO Donna

Love Letter to My Bosses, Redux

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(This was originally posted  in July, 2014. I felt I had to edit, and share it again. Thank you for understanding.  Donna)

With two very brief exceptions, I have been a hairstylist my whole adult life. I got my licence in 1976 in New York and I find it hard to believe time has gone by so quickly! In all that time as a stylist, I’ve only had three bosses.

Dragon OrchidThe first demanded the very best of us and gave us the very best of everything in return. She provided a state-of-the-art salon and education for us,  both on a professional level, and a personal-growth level.  I owe much of who I’ve become to her. Though we didn’t part on the best of terms, I feel a profound love and gratitude for her strength and vision.  I see that her expectations of me, though grand, were nothing more than she asked of herself, and nothing I couldn’t have lived up to. I told her this a couple years ago, and we are now on good terms.

After her, I rented a studio from a sweet man for almost 14 years…he was kind, affable, and always in a good mood. All he wanted was for us to have a good life, have fun, and respect each other. He would have loved it if we had become one-big-happy-family.  He regularly pointed out how lucky we were to be self-employed stylists, and if you forgot what those reasons were,  he’d gladly recite them. He passed away a couple of years ago…and I am grateful that he knew how much I loved him.

I briefly had my second boss after him. It was not a good fit for either of us, and I left after a year. ‘Nough said.

I have had the good fortune to work part-time for my third boss, Josh, for three years now, although I have known him for many more. He is another salon owner that truly wanted his staff to be happy and successful. And for more than twenty years, he and Bella Salon have been a fixture on the Austin scene.

More orchids1The greeting above our front desk: Love All, Serve All says it all.

Josh found out that he had lung cancer shortly after I began. Three years later he is in Hospice care and will pass out of this world any day now.  My heart is breaking as I think about Bella Salon without Josh. He made sure we know everything will be okay, and he has worked, surrounded by his clients and his beautiful orchids, until it became impossible to do so.

Last week before he left he stood in the doorway of our room, hands in his pockets, and watched us with our clients. He smiled beatifically, taking it all in, as if to remember every bit of it. His presence there felt like a benediction.

Josh was passionate about his art – so much so that he’d rather be at the salon than almost anywhere else. I aspire to bring that kind of passion to everything I do. Bella will go on, we are professionals who also love what we do. We will follow Josh’s example and live up to the credo at our entrance.

Godspeed, my friend. Until we meet again.

XO Donna