The problem is not the problem.
The problem
is your attitude about
the problem.
Do you understand?

Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

I can just hear him drunkenly slurring and spraying those lines. I admit it, I am a Johnny Depp fan. I think he’s sexy. And that brings me to the problem at hand, which is that I am trying to quantify “what is sexy.”  It is, after all, the relevant part of the title of my blog, and it’s the major component of the book I am writing, “Sick & Tired…and Sexy.”

Another admission, it’s the part of the book that I have hesitated to write until last, despite being the part of the book I must lead with. I’m sure it’s the part any publisher is going to care about; because who wants to read a book about being sick and tired? Exactly. But a how-to book on being sexy in spite of chronic illness just might grab their attention!

My problematic attitude: I think that sexiness, as a quality, is very difficult to write about. I don’t know if I can get my head around it. I worry that I won’t do such an important topic justice. One thing I see is that because of advertising, our society equates being sexy with desirability and worthiness, but we shouldn’t buy into that. I read a great article by Sam Stempky entitled “Dear sweatpants & hoodies, Thanks for being there for me. Sincerely, Sexy and I know it, but too lazy to show it.” She’s only college-aged and she’s figured out that her value doesn’t change based on how she looks or how “sexy” she currently appears. She has decided that she is worthy all of the time. Now, that’s sexy!

I will get an attitude adjustment, and start with what I know for certain:  Sexiness is a quality that can’t be faked. It’s a blend of attitude, confidence, caring about yourself, and comfort in your own skin, no matter what.
I know sexy when I see it. I also know it when I feel it. And I know when I’m not feelin’ it. I will keep working on this topic over the next few weeks, and invite you all to write me with any insights you have.

Let’s close with this:  “In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants.”
Rhoda Janzen

I agree,
XO Donna