Tag Archives: humor

Password Protected

4 Dec

Ever had a day when you can’t seem to do anything right? I have run up and down the stairs 18 times so far (yes, I keep count and call it exercise).

online-bill-payI went downstairs to my desk to balance my checkbook and pay bills online while I enjoyed my coffee. It’s my way of making the process more palatable. I pay attention now (I never did before reading Money, a Love Affair by Kate Northrup) as a way of showing the Universe that I am, indeed, a good steward for my money.

I’m not a good steward of passwords though. I had to find my cheat-sheet, and when I did, I realized two things:  1) I didn’t have all of my online accounts listed, and 2) my coffee was going to be cold by the time I finished this.

After twenty minutes of trying to resolve the most pressing account, I broke down, called my broker and spoke to her assistant. My pen ran out of ink just as she gave me a temporary password, and between finding a new pen and trying to hear over the noise in her office, I needed to ask her to repeat herself three times. Didn’t matter…the password didn’t work after all.

If you haven’t lost a password lately, count your blessings! When you do, you must answer a multitude of security questions “which may, or may not, be based on information which you’ve supplied at some time in the past for your credit report.” 

It’s the online equivalent of water-boarding. I couldn’t remember whether an address I lived at more than 25 years ago was Quail Street or Quail Drive and they acted like I was trying to commit fraud. A simpler question was “What was your first car?” Yay, something I know the answer to. I told her that it was a 1955 Volkswagen Beetle. Her response, “No, that’s not correct.” WHAT? Whose life are you looking at?

I told a friend about this, and he said that he’d once been asked his mother’s maiden name. When he answered, they told him he was wrong. Really?

tomcruiseI’m not sure which to be more worried about, my inability to remember everything, or the militia-like state of our password protected accounts. To help myself, I made an exhaustive list of my accounts, my ID numbers, and passwords. Then I put it in a spot that’s easy for me to remember and for any half-assed burglar to find.

The new 11th commandment:  Know Thy Passwords.

Or, at least know where to find them!

XO Donna

 

 

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I hate rules

18 Sep

Unless they make sense to me. Then I am cooperative, part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Guidelines are okay. But rules…I need to know who made them up, and why? What’s in it for them? What’s in it for me?

imageQuestion things. (Especially yourself!) Don’t buy the party line. Go find answers for yourself. Continually seeking, learning and growing will keep you engaged and young-at-heart. Great underwear will keep you sexy. As will not following all of the rules for fear of what others will think.

As irony would have it, this week I have been inundated with lists of “rules-to-live-by” from friends. Knowing how I feel about rules, you can predict how I feel about lists of rules.

Some of them were great, especially if I chose to call them guidelines rather than rules. Some of them were way too black & white. Some were sappy crap. Some were important, wise reminders. And one was x-rated, hysterical, tears-rolling-down-my-face funny!  (I’ve posted the link for that below)

Since everyone’s making lists, I’d like to present you with my own list:

  1. Eat healthy food 85% of the time. Always drink lots of water.
  2. You can only love others as much as you love yourself.
  3. Don’t do things out of obligation, or fear of what people will think of you.
  4. Throw out your ugly panties. Wear a bra that fits properly. You’re a goddess.
  5. Give out what you’d like to receive. Karma can be a bitch, baby.
  6. Dream BIG. Takes chances. It can turn out even better than you imagine!
  7. Take care of yourself FIRST in order to take care of others.
  8. Don’t compare and don’t judge. Allow yourself to be inspired instead.
  9. Let go of the past. Except happy memories. Be here now.
  10. We will get older, (dammit) but we don’t have to get old. That’s just a mindset

 

The x-rated list is here:  http://tryingtobegood.com/love/how-to-be-ideal-seriously-I-got-this

XO Love, Donna