This darned app…

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As soon as it was released, I downloaded the app from my favorite thought-leader. It sends a daily message meant to open your eyes and your mind. I read this one, and thought, “Yup, gotta take care of yourself first in order to take care of others.”

imageThen, when it showed up a couple of days later, I thought, “I guess I needed the reminder.”

When it appeared yet again, my thoughts ran straight to, “This darned app is broken. I wonder if I should delete it and download it again?”  Then, I froze. . .what if I just hadn’t “gotten” the message yet?

I remembered my trip to Long Island: I was worried about getting from LaGuardia airport onto the right bus, to get to the right train station, to get the right train out to the island to meet my sisters. As much as I told myself I could do it, by the time the plane landed, my stomach was in knots.

I found a Metropolitan Transit Authority info booth, told the young man where I wanted to go and he pulled out a map, drew circles and arrows all over it, and left me standing at a bus stop with a ticket in my hand. That was sooo easy, I thought. When my bus came, I clambered aboard, and as he’s yelling instructions to the passengers, I asked the driver if this bus would take me to Woodside, then on to Jamaica, so I could catch a train out to the east end of the island.

“No doll, that’s not how you get there.” The door closed behind me. My stomach sank. The bus was packed like a sardine can, I was wedged in , and we had just pulled away from the curb.
“But, that’s what the MTA guy told me.”
“Those guys don’t know nuthin. Don’t listen to them. Where ya goin on the island?”
“Ronkonkoma,” I answered.
“Here, doll, lemme tell ya whatcha gotta do.” And he started ‘splainin it to me.

imageA voice behind me says, “Excuse me, ma’am, I’m going to Ronkonkoma. You can follow me.”
I turn to see who said that, and it’s a young Tom Cruise in an American Airways uniform. A pilot on his way home. He lead me all the way there, chatted amiably, and kept an eye on me while he stepped away to smoke a cigarette and make some calls. He’d wait for me to catch up as we made the transfers, and finally, we arrived at Ronkonkoma station.

I know I won’t ever see John again, but I will think about him each time I see Tom Cruise onscreen. I sent a little prayer into the universe, and he showed up.

My needs were met, once again.

XO  Donna

 

 

I don’t say “Lawn Guyland”

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It’s where I grew up, but I got to Texas as quickly as I could, and I say it just like y’all.

I’m going there early Saturday morning!  If you look on the (very judgemental) map below, I grew up on the south shore, in “Too far from the City, Too far from the Hamptons” Bayport.

imageI’m meeting my sisters at the train station, if I don’t get lost between LaGuardia  Airport (The City) and Ronkonkoma (Extrememly White People).
I’m a tad worried…it’s been more than 30 years since I’ve taken the train, but I keep reminding myself, “You used to take the train into the city to go to concerts all the time. Stoned. You got this!”

On Monday, we are taking the ferry south, across the bay, to The Pines, on Fire Island (Gays) for the week and staying in a little beach cottage for some R & R (relaxation and recreational bartending). Three of the four of us have tended bar professionally at some point in our lives, and we love to mix cocktails for each other.

The real reason for the getaway is that we are finally going to scatter our sister’s ashes. Hopefully we won’t get arrested, drop the urn into the ocean, or injure someone. And since our 88 year-old father, Daddy-O, will probably be there, we need to walk the tight-rope between the solemnity the occasion deserves, and our familial hiding-behind-humor coping mechanism.

Picture any movie with all four Marx brothers  in it, (yes, there are four – everybody forgets poor Zeppo) and that’s us. Should be a lot of fun.

My sisters have already mapped out the best German bakery for pastries and coffee cake, and where to get the best Eggplant Parmigiana. I will take notes, take pictures, and have stories to tell when I get back.

Now to pack. I wonder if the cottage will have a cocktail shaker?

XO Donna

 

 

 

When One Door Closes

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I first noticed the feeling when we made it to Durango. It felt like I’d been playing catch-up all day: moving too slowly, hurrying too often, always bringing up the rear, everything seemed harder.

GaneshaAt dinner that night, after one-martini-too-many, I waxed melancholy about the prospect of being “left behind” when we could no longer keep up. I felt the door slowly inching shut.

In the morning, I was thrilled to see Ganesha painted on a dumpster in the alley beside the bikes. (he is the Hindu god of new beginnings and the remover of obstacles) I took it as a good sign.

We’ve looked forward to returning for the July 4th parade in Telluride  ever since our trip there in 2004. We expected it to be the same town; with just enough people for a good party and everyone in town participating in their parade.  In that eleven years, our “Mayberry” had turned into Disneyland! There were about 70,000 people there – literally everyone and their dog, and all of their cute kids.

We waited in a queue for the gondola into town for more than an hour.
Then waded through crowds to meet the guys at the Last Dollar Saloon.
Afterwards, we waited for almost 45 minutes for lunch, then waited for a table at which to eat.
We abandoned the idea of window-shopping and fell in line to wait in a blocks-long queue for the gondola back up the mountain. The clouds rolled in, dark and menacing. The wind picked up and the temperature dropped drastically. Just when the sky finally opened up, we miraculously hailed a van that took us home for a hefty fee.
Worth. Every. Dollar.

Antler RanchIn the morning we headed to gorgeous Antler Ranch, where our rooms were right on the Rio Grande.  Beautiful cabins, great beds, and an amazing dinner awaited us. We sat on the porch and relaxed as the river raced by. I could have used a few more days in that place. We saw that they have parking for RVs, so we asked about rates while checking out.

On our way home we chose an empty restaurant thinking we’d get breakfast quickly and stay ahead of the rain. We waited, impatiently, almost an hour for breakfast. Later, standing beside our bikes in the pouring rain, partially sheltered by an awning, we wondered if it would have been any different if we hadn’t waited that long for breakfast.

When it became obvious that the storm was parked over us, we decided to head back to a restaurant we’d passed earlier and wait out the rain. Turk and I lagged behind again, then catching a couple of lights, lost sight of the Doorsgroup. As we headed up the road in the downpour, unsure we were going the right way, we saw our friend coming back to find us. I appreciated the gesture so much that I began to cry.

We’ve talked about the trip a lot since returning home. The paced seemed harder than ever. I felt weighed-down the whole trip. We both had moments of feeling left behind, although our group had waited patiently and pulled us along.

Big love. Much appreciated.

They are planning bigger rides next year, but after much soul-searching we’ve decided to close that door. We’ve begun looking for a motor home, our next frontier.

When one door closes, a new one opens.
XO Donna

 

 

 

Riders on the Storm

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When we climbed the two flights of stairs and opened our door after almost 15 hours in a car, we were thrilled with our apartment. For the first time in 12 years, we hadn’t worried about anything while we were gone. This “downsizing thing” has some pretty sweet perks, I tell ya!

This was an interesting trip;  it was cold for July, there was still snow on the mountains, and we were often dodging rain, until it caught up with us on the way back to Santa Fe!
A local called it “monsoon season,” saying it usually rained for a while every afternoon, and you could see it coming over the mountains each afternoon. The upside: everything was more lush than I had ever seen it before. From west Texas through Santa Fe, the desert was a vibrant green dotted with bright fuschia Cholla cactus!

I forgot my camera, so these are taken on an iPhone, and Cindy Pulley got a couple of beautiful shots that I’ve shared below. I hope you enjoy this visual tour.

XO Donna

Following the bike trailer into Santa Fe.

Following the bike trailer into Santa Fe.

Diamond Belle Saloon in Strater Hotel, Durango.

Diamond Belle Saloon in Strater Hotel, Durango.

Leaving Silverton, heading over the pass to Telluride, CO.

Leaving Silverton, heading over the pass to Telluride, CO.

We all stayed at Mountain Lodge, Telluride

We all stayed at Mountain Lodge, Telluride

Telluride 4th of July Parade

Telluride 4th of July Parade

Our cabin was on the Rio Grande, Creede, CO

Our cabin was on the
Rio Grande, Creede, CO

Leaving Creede, for Santa Fe.

Leaving Creede, for Santa Fe.

Waiting it out - on the way back to Santa Fe.

Waiting it out – on the way back to Santa Fe.

Yoga begins with a ‘why?’

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You already go to the gym…why would you add yoga?
You’re tired…why would you exert precious energy on yoga?
You have arthritis, a ‘bad shoulder,’ ‘bad knees’, or a ‘bad back,’   (don’t call them that, it hurts their feelings) why go to yoga? What would it change?

yogaforselfloveIn a word – Everything!

I have always been more of a mover, dancer, runner, gym-goer, but every time I’ve taken a yoga class I left feeling peaceful, relaxed, and pain-free. And I always asked myself, “Why don’t I do this more often?”

I promised myself that when we moved I would do yoga at the beautiful studio nearby, and I’ve kept that commitment to myself.

My first class was Yoga Flow – balance, strength, and stretch poses flowed from one into the next. It had been so long, I could barely keep up. So, for my second class I tried a Yin Yoga class. Having no idea what to expect, I let go of any expectations and just listened to the teacher’s silky voice serenely guiding the class. Breathe in, now breathe out. Find traction. Allow. Allow. Allow.

During one long pose my whole body was relaxed, except for my right shoulder, which was so tight that I kept wiggling. The teacher silently placed a small sandbag on my shoulder and surprisingly, my shoulder completely relaxed. My whole body felt hugged and tears began to stream down my face. I lay there on my back allowing tears to fill my ears for the next few minutes, releasing all of the tension that had been building for who-knows-how-long.

During my third class, again Yin Yoga, the teacher spoke about the synovial joints in our bodies – found in the elbows, wrists, thumbs, shoulders, hips, knees, neck and feet. The inner synovial membrane secretes lubricating, shock absorbing, and joint-nourishing synovial fluid. These joints receive nutrition from the surrounding blood supply by convection, a process achieved best through exercise. And the long, slow poses of Yin Yoga are the perfect way to nurture these joints – good for us no matter our age if we want to stay (or become) flexible, supple, and maintain our balance as we age.

I want to share this, written by Chris Haigh, and excerpted from Lifehack.org

Seven Reasons You Should Start Doing Yoga Immediately

  1. It’s a great workout – no matter which yoga exercises you choose, there are movements perfect for every kind of person.
  2. It gets you in touch with your body – and helps you move to increase strength, flexibility, and durability.
  3. It can help your breathing technique – which provides effective stress management and make you feel better. Plus, if you have asthma, it really helps to open your lungs and explore what it means to breathe consciously.
  4. It can improve your sleep – light physical activity before bed helps us get to sleep more quickly and leads to better quality sleep. Also working on problem-areas through yoga can help alleviate pain symptoms and increase the likelihood of better sleep.
  5. It will improve your posture – whether you’re someone who spends their day at their desk, or just putters with little physical activity, yoga will help sculpt you back into the kind of poised posture that’ll make you walk taller and feel better (not to mention look younger).
  6. It can develop your physical and mental strength –  the physical investment in the stretches and positions ensures that you’ll experience plenty of benefits as a result. The breathing can improve your lung capacity, the lunges and stretches increase your core strength, and focusing on the moment clears your mind which alleviates stress and improves mental health.
  7. Meditation (a part of yoga) can change your life for the better – even if you can do every complicated pose under the sun, it loses all of it’s meaning if it isn’t done with focus and thought. You can meditate anywhere and at anytime you’d like. All it takes is five minutes with some peace and quiet, allowing you to embrace calmness and serenity.

I plan on mixing up my classes, aiming for balance in my life, and in a pair of heels!

XO Donna

 

 

That bites…

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I missed y’all last week, but have a great reason for standing you up: dental surgery.
imageI know, makes you cringe doesn’t it?
But I am very blessed to have a great dentist and oral surgeon. I have known them both for years, and we ride motorcycles with our oral surgeon.

There aren’t many things I envy the young people today about…but I do envy the hell out of their gorgeous teeth!  If their parents raise them to not eat candy all of the time, young people don’t ever have to have a cavity.
Should they somehow get one, dentistry is much more sophisticated than when we were young. Teeth are now filled perfectly with color-matched composite fillings (as opposed to the old amalgam fillings which were used on us) . Most get braces if needed. Since it’s the norm, nobody gets teased like kids did when we were in school.

Look at most young people and they all have straight, pearly white teeth…pretty much the norm in the US.
Look at people my age and some of us are doing invisible braces even now. Most of us bleach our teeth (which really helps if we are smokers or drink coffee and red wine).  Most of us have had  our old “silver” fillings removed and replaced with composite fillings, and many of us are now looking into dental implants. Logging lots of hours in dentist’s chairs. But, consider the alternative. Uh, no. Let’s not.

The surgeon joked as we waited for the novocaine to take effect, “This growing old stuff isn’t for sissies.”  No kidding. But, I want to keep that sexy smile going!

I feel wonderful this week, but now my sweetheart is lying on the couch having just returned from his dentist and having had an extraction, too.

I’m grateful there is an alternative to either ‘no teeth’, or ‘false teeth.’
But I’m trying to figure out which bank will be the easiest to rob!

XO
Donna

Dear Austin

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From the first moment we met I was bewitched. You were the most beautiful thing I’d ever laid eyes on, and you became a fun, lively, open-minded companion. The longer we’ve been together the deeper my love grew. Strangers may have thought you were weird, but they didn’t know you as I did: delightfully accepting of everyone, easy-going, and a tad eccentric.

imageAlthough your outer beauty has not paled, you have changed. It began slowly, imperceptibly, then became increasingly obvious.

You’re always in a rush. You’ve got everyone tied up in knots. You’ve become aggressive and often outright hostile…acting as if you’re more important than everyone around you. Nowhere is it more obvious than on the road: speeding, tailgating, texting while you drive (you also eat, apply make-up, and work on your lap-top while you steer with your knees) and take dangerous and stupid risks. Why are you being so rude?

I wish I could say that these bad habits are outweighed by your cooking and the way you can shake-shake-shake a cocktail – after all, when I met you in 1978, you couldn’t even boil water. But, while your abilities are broader and more accomplished, you have become less accessible, less inclusive, and less humanist.  You are turning into a social-climbing conservative.

I will dream of the “old you” and be looking for that everywhere I travel.  While your beauty will always take my breath away,  you’ve gotten just a little too big for your britches, missy!

XO Donna

 

(Note – Today I read that the estimates of people moving to Austin (and metro areas) is now 100 people a day – that makes 3,000/month! We are the second fasted-growing city, right behind Dallas. Our population is estimated at 1.9 million+)

 

 

Odds and Ends

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Since I just wanted to share things, but didn’t have a specific topic in mind today I looked up synonyms for smorgasbord. Low and behold, there was “odds and ends,”  right along with accumulation, potpourri, and mishmash.
Odds & Ends was the name of the first salon where I worked in New York, in 1976. Here it is almost 40 years later.

DrewAnthonySmith, AAS

DrewAnthonySmith, AAS

1)  It is raining again as I write, and it makes me think of Tina Turner’s song, “I can’t stand the rain against my window.”
As most of you know, Texas has been hard hit by rain, floods, and tornadoes. It’s been a year for freakish weather down here.
Our drought ended…and we joked that it would take a flood to break it…but never imagined widespread losses of this magnitude. Shoal Creek flooded downtown Austin again, a reminder of the 1981 Memorial Day flood, and  Wimberley and Blanco – sweet little riverfront towns nearby – suffered terribly. Thoughts and prayers to all of those affected by these events.

2)  As if I haven’t had enough change lately, here’s a great idea from Anna Bjurstam, VP of Six Senses Spa:
“Do the opposite of your normal routine. Research shows that breaking a habit is incredibly healthy. It doesn’t need to be a life-changing habit, just a small one like trying something new to eat or taking a different road to the store. The result of a group of people who introduced a new habit every day for three months was that they became happier and less stressed, and even lost weight!”

3)  If you don’t know who she is, you should: Danielle LaPorte is a bestselling Canadian author, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, and all-around kick-ass Goddess. Her “sermons on life, love, consciousness, and desire,” have been super-inspirational to me. She just developed The #Truthbomb App for IOS and ANDROID. It is everything I hoped it would be, and I am sure you will love it. Go here:  www.daniellelaporte.com

Empathy Cards

Empathy Cards

4)  Pure Genius –  So glad someone finally thought of this: Emily McDowell has a line of Empathy Cards for serious illness. Most of us struggle to find the right words when a friend has cancer, or chronic illness, or mental illness. Sometimes, since we don’t know what to say or how to say it, we don’t say anything at all…which can leave a friend or loved one feeling alone. Her cards are beautiful. Visit her website here:  www.emilymcdowell.com

5)  I just found out today that all Yoga Yoga Studios give a 20%  discount to students who are 60 or older when they buy a class card. Just one more benefit of exercising – you can save money doing it!

Thank you all for reading, I am truly grateful!
XO Donna

 


P.S. – I am not reimbursed in any way for directing you to these websites.  I wish!

 

 

The Inconvenient Truth

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To keep things rolling along I make the rounds of all of my doctors  a couple of times a year, and I am always thrilled to do so. Their offices are very comfortable, their staff is friendly and happy, they run on time, and my doctors and nurses are present when we are together (I’m talking about large clinics here, not small offices).  They also follow up with a survey to see how my experience was and if any improvement is needed. Big love.

Cattle-herdImagine my shock when I accompanied my darling to an eye surgery appointment and watched the staff greet clients by taking their paperwork and telling them simply, “Thanks. Sit down, we’ll call you.” There were too many people, barely enough skinny chairs, and only a few old magazines. We had been told to arrive by 7:45 am. At 8:45, when we asked how much longer we had to wait, we were told not much longer. What’s the point of appointments? The whole time I had images of cattle crammed into metal cars. I didn’t like feeling this way.

At our follow-up the next day in the office next door, it was the same poor service, same skinny chairs (just fewer of them) and too many people again. The staff treated their patients as if they were a total inconvenience. When I asked the receptionist if they had Wi-Fi she sneered at me, “No. We don’t.”  I saw no point in asking why. Again we waited 45 minutes past our “appointment time.” Nobody ever apologized for inconveniencing us…

My point? During our recent move we have run into so much poor customer service – wait, make that abysmal customer service – that it’s mind-boggling. The eye surgery center was just the icing on the cake!

It seems that providers think they are doing us a favor. We reached agreements only to have them not honored, broken entirely, or billed wrong, necessitating hours on the phone to get things straight. I’ve noticed that in all of the encounters where the service was wretched, none of them ever did a follow-up survey.

Blue RibbonSo, for the sake of everything that’s decent in society – if you run a service-oriented business, set yourself apart.

  • Make sure your receptionists are well-trained (and well-paid) so your clients will always feel like valued guests.
  • Run on time. Be honest about your schedule and how long things take.
  • Give a damn about your clients. Respect the fact that they chose to come to you, then earn their respect.
  • Create a comfortable environment for your guests. Yes, they are guests.
  • Strive to be part of the solution…because if you aren’t, then you are part of the problem.

 

Are you feeling the same way? Do you know about “Yelp!”?
XO Donna