Sit Still

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(This is an excerpt from my upcoming book, “Sick & Tired…and Sexy!”)

 

“A mind is like a parachute, it doesn’t work unless it’s open.”
– Frank Zappa

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I don’t like to meditate. I have been trying to do it off-and-on for years, and the best I had managed up until now was to do “moving meditation” that I learned at a weekend meditation retreat years ago. I’d walk a small path with my eyes almost closed, softly focused.  Back home, I found it impossible to do without bumping into things. That’s when I realized I could do Trance Dance as my moving meditation, and did so happily for years. When I moved outside of town, the one-hour commute made it impractical to attend, and then the studio closed.

Now I am back to sitting. I’ve even written a haiku about my frustration:

catsittingHow to meditate?
Sitting seems a waste of time
I could DO something!

I haven’t had enough consistent experience to be a fan. I’ve only had momentary glimpses of bliss, the ‘gap in between thoughts,’ and those were very cool.

Why do I keep making myself sit still? I’ll tell ya: First, I want to feel inner-peace. Second, I am the kind of woman that will do things JUST because they are good for me.

I  eat and drink healthy things that others won’t. I exercise even when I don’t want to, because I know how good exercise makes me feel.  I drink at least a liter of water every day. I take vitamins. I floss my teeth (although I hate it) and wash off my make-up before bed. I generally stick to my routines because they keep me looking and feeling well.

So, I park my ass on the floor and assume the position.

To learn what meditation is, let’s see what it’s not:

  1. Myth #1 – is that it’s hard to do. With a little bit of instruction from a meditation teacher, it’s both easy and fun. It can be as simple as focusing on your breath, or repeating a mantra. Yes, that’s where “OM” comes in. The challenge is that we (I’m talking about myself here) often try too hard to concentrate,  get so distracted by our thoughts that we think we aren’t doing it right, or we get attached to getting results.
  2. Which leads to Myth #2 – we have to quiet our minds if we want to be successful. It’s not about stopping our thoughts, or being successful.  When thoughts arise, all we need do is see them as thoughts, not judge, and return to our breath or mantra.

Dr. David Simon from the Chopra Center, tells his students, “The thought I’m having thoughts may be the most important thought you have ever thought. Before that, you probably thought you were your thoughts.”

  1. Myth # 3 – is that it takes years to become good at it. The Chopra Center lotussays you can begin to experience benefits the first time you sit down to meditate. Science found that meditation has “profound effects” in the parts of the brain dealing with empathy, memory, sense of self, and regulation of stress.
    Other benefits that keep me trying: better sleep, improved concentration, decreased blood pressure, and enhanced immune function!

Assorted Myths -Meditation as escapism, but it isn’t intended to tune–out the world, it is intended to tune-in to yourself, so you can be here now.
People think they don’t have time to meditate – you only need a few minutes a day.  Skip the news. Take part of your lunch break. If all else fails, do it sitting in bed before going to sleep at night.
It’s a strange religious ritual. No, it’s just a mindfulness practice, which will make you a happier person no matter your religious affiliation, or lack of one.

I know it’s a worthy endeavor which will eventually become easier.
By noticing our thoughts, we are expanding our consciousness, and an open mind is a sexy mind!

 

XO Donna

Ground Control

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My First MRI

I injured myself doing squats with weights: they are great for the butt, inner thighs, and calves. As it turns out, not so good for the knees.
I went to the orthopedic doc because my knee still hurt in spite of ice, elevation, and rest. The male nurse asked what brought me there. When I told him, he said simply, “Don’t do squats. We don’t like them around here.”

Um, okay.

imageThe doctor came in, looked over my chart, then asked me how exactly I injured my knee, could I show him? I did. He frowned and said, “Don’t do squats. We tell everyone not to do them.”

So I’ve heard. Won’t anymore. But…what about my butt?

After examining my knee, the doctor decided to send me for an MRI. “I’ll see you again next week when I get the results. Rest. Ice. Elevation.” He patted my knee as he stood to leave the room, “No squats in the meantime, okay?”  Funny guy.

When I was checking out, the young woman filling out the order for the MRI looked up at me, smiled, and said, “Squats, huh? Yeah, I don’t do them anymore since I started working here.”

Alright, I’m convinced.  But what about my….oh, hell.  I just smiled back.

imageWelcome to The Machine

The next day at Texas Orthopedics I was led to a delightful man who explained the procedure, led me to a changing room, and when I emerged dressed in scrubs he handed me a list of music to pick from.

I have heard that an MRI is LOUD, so I asked if I would even be able to hear the music. His response, “It’s a nice distraction.”
“And, how long is the procedure?”
“Twenty five minutes, probably.”
Twenty five minutes of lying there, completely still. “Sure, I’ll take….Santana.”
His eyes lit up, “That’s my favorite!”

In the imaging room I came face-to-face with a massive white machine with a donut hole in it’s middle. MAGNETOM.
I started humming “Ground control to Major Tom,”  from David Bowie’s song, Space Oddity (speaking of oddities, Iman is the stunning model/business woman married to Bowie, and Iman is also the Spanish word for magnet).

I was arranged comfortably, reminded to hold perfectly still, given a set of oversized, squishy BOSE headphones, and covered with a fresh, soft blanket. The tech excused himself, and left.

Reminiscent of a blast of reverb at a concert, and  just as jarring, the initial sound startled me.
His voice through my headphones, “Are you okay, Miss Donna?”
I assured him I was, then the music began, and the MRI commenced knocking, whirring, and vibrating.
I lay there, Carlos Santana’s soulful guitar wailing, the machine rocking along, and thought;  if it weren’t for the cold, and the sterility of the place, I could have been flat on my back, head in a speaker, at a 70’s rock concert all over again.

It was over much quicker than I thought it would be.
“You were so still,” the tech told me.
I thought that was the whole objective…to lie perfectly still.
Do some people just not do that?

imageThe Reward

Rather than getting a lollipop for being a good patient, afterwards I went to Nordstrom and treated myself to a glass of wine and a bowl of French Onion soup for lunch.

The perks of growing older!
XO Donna

 

Yoga begins with a ‘why?’

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You already go to the gym…why would you add yoga?
You’re tired…why would you exert precious energy on yoga?
You have arthritis, a ‘bad shoulder,’ ‘bad knees’, or a ‘bad back,’   (don’t call them that, it hurts their feelings) why go to yoga? What would it change?

yogaforselfloveIn a word – Everything!

I have always been more of a mover, dancer, runner, gym-goer, but every time I’ve taken a yoga class I left feeling peaceful, relaxed, and pain-free. And I always asked myself, “Why don’t I do this more often?”

I promised myself that when we moved I would do yoga at the beautiful studio nearby, and I’ve kept that commitment to myself.

My first class was Yoga Flow – balance, strength, and stretch poses flowed from one into the next. It had been so long, I could barely keep up. So, for my second class I tried a Yin Yoga class. Having no idea what to expect, I let go of any expectations and just listened to the teacher’s silky voice serenely guiding the class. Breathe in, now breathe out. Find traction. Allow. Allow. Allow.

During one long pose my whole body was relaxed, except for my right shoulder, which was so tight that I kept wiggling. The teacher silently placed a small sandbag on my shoulder and surprisingly, my shoulder completely relaxed. My whole body felt hugged and tears began to stream down my face. I lay there on my back allowing tears to fill my ears for the next few minutes, releasing all of the tension that had been building for who-knows-how-long.

During my third class, again Yin Yoga, the teacher spoke about the synovial joints in our bodies – found in the elbows, wrists, thumbs, shoulders, hips, knees, neck and feet. The inner synovial membrane secretes lubricating, shock absorbing, and joint-nourishing synovial fluid. These joints receive nutrition from the surrounding blood supply by convection, a process achieved best through exercise. And the long, slow poses of Yin Yoga are the perfect way to nurture these joints – good for us no matter our age if we want to stay (or become) flexible, supple, and maintain our balance as we age.

I want to share this, written by Chris Haigh, and excerpted from Lifehack.org

Seven Reasons You Should Start Doing Yoga Immediately

  1. It’s a great workout – no matter which yoga exercises you choose, there are movements perfect for every kind of person.
  2. It gets you in touch with your body – and helps you move to increase strength, flexibility, and durability.
  3. It can help your breathing technique – which provides effective stress management and make you feel better. Plus, if you have asthma, it really helps to open your lungs and explore what it means to breathe consciously.
  4. It can improve your sleep – light physical activity before bed helps us get to sleep more quickly and leads to better quality sleep. Also working on problem-areas through yoga can help alleviate pain symptoms and increase the likelihood of better sleep.
  5. It will improve your posture – whether you’re someone who spends their day at their desk, or just putters with little physical activity, yoga will help sculpt you back into the kind of poised posture that’ll make you walk taller and feel better (not to mention look younger).
  6. It can develop your physical and mental strength –  the physical investment in the stretches and positions ensures that you’ll experience plenty of benefits as a result. The breathing can improve your lung capacity, the lunges and stretches increase your core strength, and focusing on the moment clears your mind which alleviates stress and improves mental health.
  7. Meditation (a part of yoga) can change your life for the better – even if you can do every complicated pose under the sun, it loses all of it’s meaning if it isn’t done with focus and thought. You can meditate anywhere and at anytime you’d like. All it takes is five minutes with some peace and quiet, allowing you to embrace calmness and serenity.

I plan on mixing up my classes, aiming for balance in my life, and in a pair of heels!

XO Donna

 

 

That bites…

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I missed y’all last week, but have a great reason for standing you up: dental surgery.
imageI know, makes you cringe doesn’t it?
But I am very blessed to have a great dentist and oral surgeon. I have known them both for years, and we ride motorcycles with our oral surgeon.

There aren’t many things I envy the young people today about…but I do envy the hell out of their gorgeous teeth!  If their parents raise them to not eat candy all of the time, young people don’t ever have to have a cavity.
Should they somehow get one, dentistry is much more sophisticated than when we were young. Teeth are now filled perfectly with color-matched composite fillings (as opposed to the old amalgam fillings which were used on us) . Most get braces if needed. Since it’s the norm, nobody gets teased like kids did when we were in school.

Look at most young people and they all have straight, pearly white teeth…pretty much the norm in the US.
Look at people my age and some of us are doing invisible braces even now. Most of us bleach our teeth (which really helps if we are smokers or drink coffee and red wine).  Most of us have had  our old “silver” fillings removed and replaced with composite fillings, and many of us are now looking into dental implants. Logging lots of hours in dentist’s chairs. But, consider the alternative. Uh, no. Let’s not.

The surgeon joked as we waited for the novocaine to take effect, “This growing old stuff isn’t for sissies.”  No kidding. But, I want to keep that sexy smile going!

I feel wonderful this week, but now my sweetheart is lying on the couch having just returned from his dentist and having had an extraction, too.

I’m grateful there is an alternative to either ‘no teeth’, or ‘false teeth.’
But I’m trying to figure out which bank will be the easiest to rob!

XO
Donna