Paint It White

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If you’ve been following for a while, you know how excited I get about Pantone’s Color of the Year. With the excption of 2019’s Living Coral, the past five years have been a bit of a disappointment… but, at least they were colors. This year’s Color is called Cloud Dancer, a pretty spectacular name for white, if you ask me.

Maybe it’s a response to all of the cottage-core color-drenching that’s going on in Pinterest and Reels.
Maybe it’s acknowledging that this year could use a coat of white primer and a do-over. Perhaps a kinder, gentler start.

In its description Pantone called it a “billowy, balanced white, chosen as a calming antidote to a noisy world.” They got that part right. They even state that white “symbolizes new beginnings.”
In that vein, numerologically speaking, our upcoming year (2+0+2+6,) adds up to 10, which equals a 1. Also symbolizing a new beginning. I’ve got my fingers crossed.

I’ve been feeling well enough to bake lately. Sadly, my oven (my new oven) chose now to have a meltdown. I made a batch of gluten-free orange and pistachio biscotti, a twice-baked cookie of sorts, perfect for dunking in your coffee or tea. It’s a new recipe to me that was surprisingly easy to mix and shape. I popped it into the oven and set a timer for 20 minutes.
Walking back into the kitchen 16 minutes later, smoke was curling out of the oven vent. The thermostat had gone on the fritz and the oven was registering above 500 degrees!


I’m glad we were smart enough to buy an extended warranty. Oh, how I long for a gas oven.

I am waiting for the Whirlpool repairman to come again this afternoon with another part. And, in the meantime, I learned a new Italian word: bruciato. It means burned.

I posted my biscotti pic on Facebook (I know, it’s where the old people hang-out, but I am old) and a friend said it looked like a crocodile.
It kinda does, doesn’t it?
And a sister said it looked like Mom’s meatloaf! Poor Mom.
I’m guessing that because she didn’t like meat, but felt obliged to cook it, it was always overcooked. Her heart definitely wasn’t in it.

I hurried to defend her, saying she cooked well. But, maybe not, because I always joke that I learned to cook in self-defense. I can say with certainty that she was a great baker. Cream-puffs extraordinaire! Gooey pineapple upside-down cake! Feather-weight angel-food cake! I guess she’s where I get my love of baking. I’ll give that biscotti another try and take photos when I do.

This is one of the Papa Noël statues my sweetie has collected over the years. He and his daughter were trying to figure out how old it is, but didn’t know exactly, at least thirty years or more. I’ve always loved this one – it is so abundant with his lush beard and all of his Teddy bears.

To all of my Jewish friends – I hope your Hanukkah was festive.

To all of you who celebrate it, I wish you a very Merry Christmas.

And to everyone, an abundant and Happy New Year! I’m grateful for you all.

XO Donna

It’s a Cha-cha

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One, two. One, two, three. Two steps forward… and three steps back.

I was feeling pretty cocky about my new drug because everything was going so well. Yep, you know what’s coming. With two days worth of pills left, I crashed and burned spectacularly. The drug did its job too well – and my platelet count, well, let’s just say I was “running on fumes.” Or, could barely run on fumes.
The good thing about being cared for at an oncology center is that they don’t take things lightly – it’s not, “oh, we can fit you in later in the month.” It’s, “Come in now. Labs first. Next, you’re going to go across the street to the hospital get a “cross & type” done, because we made an appointment for you to get a platelet infusion tomorrow morning at 10:00 am.”

Not what I was expecting, but friends who have gone through cancer treatment told me it happens, that they’d been through it.

Afterward, we drove 50 miles home in rush-hour traffic, in the dark and the rain, the first we’ve had in a while. It was a spectacular electrical storm, lightning rending the sky, the white bolts temporarily turning everything violet. It was a great distraction, as were the muffins we ate as we drove. Crumbs everywhere… but that wasn’t important for a change. Crumbs can be vacuumed.

There is a wonderful upscale grocery market just blocks from the hospital, and I love going there when I’m in that part of town, which is rare these days. Their bakery is fantastic. Their deli is expansive. Everything is mouth-watering. If there is a Heaven, surely it will be a place like this!
Before heading home, we had stopped there and bought coffee and muffins for the road. Dinner. My fave is a Lemon Poppyseed, which isn’t gluten-free, but under the circumstances…

I was back at the oncologist for bloodwork early the next morning, and I did have to get that infusion of platelets. Wasn’t horrible. (I’m lying, it was. Brave face.) But, it was all finished in two hours. I spent the weekend binge-watching Netflix, and I finished the book, “Olga Dies Dreaming,” by Xochitl Gonzalez.
I always enjoy her articles in The Atlantic but cannot remember who recommended her book to me. “Set in NYC in the months surrounding the most devastating hurricane in Puerto Rico’s history, Olga Dies Dreaming examines political corruption, familial strife, and the very notion of the American Dream.” For having been written four years ago, it features a bigoted, corrupt, imbecilic President – and cast of supporting political characters who all seem quite familiar. I wasn’t sure about Olga herself, in the beginning, but I ended up loving both her and the book!

I have to be back at the hospital today for a blood transfusion. While ,y platelets are going up, but for some reason my hemoglobin is almost non-existent. Luckily, it’s fixable. I asked if there was a place I could do this closer to home, and there is. I know that my chauffeur probably appreciates this as much as I do. We went yesterday and I had my blood cross & typed again – and this time the room had windows, it was warm, and the nurse who will be caring for me was as gentle as kitten. This is going to be a much better experience.

Needless to say, there’s no way I’m cooking a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I’ve let that go. Although it seems like it’s all about the meal, what’s on the table isn’t important. It’s who is around my table; the people that I get to love are what I’m so thankful for!

You know how much I appreciate you all for being here. Have a delightful Thanksgiving tomorrow!
(Have non-traditional plans? Not making a turkey? Cooking for 20? Tell me what you’re doing, I’d love to hear all about it!)

XO Donna

Good Things

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Oh, gosh, I’ve been thinking of changing the name of my blog… or something.

The renewal for both my domain name (Sexy Past 60) and for WordPress – they host my blog – have come due and I seriously thought about not renewing either of them. I’m way past 60. And not feeling very sexy, and I haven’t written anything in months. Why not drop them and save the worry, and a couple hundred dollars?
Upon discussion with my sweetie, he convinced me to keep it another year and see what happens. I might feel like writing again soon. Inspiration could strike…

To use a British expression, I feel that I’ve “been made redundant.” I no longer need to give advice on hair, makeup, or clothing styles because it can easily be found anywhere these days with a quick computer search. There’s even technology where you can try-on a haircut, makeup, and even clothing before you buy them. Online, of course. But really, that is only part of the reason I haven’t been writing.

The truth is, I haven’t been writing because I’ve had a spectacularly lousy last couple of months.

Define lousy, you say. I had 4 emergency room visits to two different hospitals, another “stroke-like” event which turned out not to be a stroke, and a 5-day hospital stay… all in one month.
I’m on a first name basis with a couple of E.R. docs and nurses now. I’ve been CT’d, MRI’d, radio-activated, stress-tested and spinal tapped.

And that was before I went to MD Anderson Cancer in Houston for a week.


In my book, Sick and Tired & Sexy… Living Beautifully with Chronic Illness, I focused on the auto-immune illnesses I live with, since so many other women have them, too. What was helping me would probably help them also.

I didn’t include the rare bone-marrow disorder I’ve had since 1998. My body produces way too many platelets – the opposite of Leukemia. I’ve been on meds that have kept it well-controlled forever. It was just something humming in the background which would occasionally remind me of its presence with an astonishingly psychedelic migraine.

Suddenly, it was not under control and causing me a lot of seemingly unrelated problems.

By going to MD Anderson, I have an updated diagnosis, and a brand new treatment plan going forward. It’s a week, today, since I started a new drug, Jakafi, and other than feeling a bit dizzy, I’m doing very well. Better living through modern chemistry, indeed!

Two other good things that have made my life much better have been mail-order subscription services.

The first is with Brodo, which means “broth” in Italian. It’s delicious bone-broth which is low-sodium and high-flavor. It has as much protein as an egg in each one-cup serving. And look at the cute cups they sent me as a gift with my second order!
I struggle to get enough protein since I dislike eggs in the morning, and I can’t eat dairy products. A cup of steamy broth and a gluten-free goodie works just fine for me. I order both individual serving packs in my fave flavor (Tuscan Sun) and a few bigger (3-cup) packages to use a base for other meals. It’s been a game-changer for me to have them in my pantry.

* I am not receiving compensation of any kind for sharing these great products. They’ve become staples, and I am just passing along the deliciousness.

The other subscription is to Wildgrain – a bakery service where I can order gluten-free sourdough breads, delicious “Everything” bagels (my favorites) below, and other goodies that make my wheat-free, dairy-free, low-sodium life much easier. With cold weather on its way, I’m all set. Soup!

Doesn’t that bagel look delish? It’s a bit less chewy than a wheat flour bagel, but it’s certainly a tasty substitute. I’ve even found a non-dairy cream cheese by Kite Hill that has a creamy texture and a tangy flavor. I’m thrilled!

And I have more good things to look forward to: Halloween and Dia de Los Muertos are both this week. They are my favorite holidays! I need to pick up some pumpkins today and put them in the yard with my black cat cut-outs. We love to decorate, even though we don’t have trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood, sadly.

The other good thing is my birthday, next week. I usually don’t make a fuss over it, but this year I’m going to. I’m going to be 74… and I’m very grateful to be here to celebrate it!

I’m going to buy myself some new baking pans and cookie sheets at Sur la Table. (Since I’m still studying French, I now know that means “on the table.”) Which I where I’m going to park a small decadent chocolate cake that I’m making for myself.

Pictures in the next post, promise.

Wishing you all good things, thanks for being here!
XO. Donna

Show & Tell

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I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking; “I really need to quit reading ALL of the news.” There has always been a part of me that believes that if I completely understand something , then I will have some control over it… but, no matter how much I read, or analyze, I cannot understand . It is incomprehensible.

What I am searching for now, is the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change.

I usually post earlier in the week, but this week disappeared, taken up by trying to schedule a series of MRIs for my son. You’d think it would be a simple phone call, wouldn’t you? And for someone with good health insurance, and no special needs, it would be – but to make this appointment required coordination between his nursing home, his insurance, the imaging schedulers, two different hospitals, an anesthesiology department… and me. Nine days and sixteen phone calls later, Mission Impossible turned into mission accomplished!
To celebrate, I baked myself a delicious gluten-free/non-dairy sour cream coffee cake. And I gotta tell you, it was delicious!

I wasn’t sure whether or not the non-dairy yogurt I eat (which has the texture and tang of sour cream) would work, but it did, and deliciously so. I’ve made two, in as many weeks, and I know that it’s a keeper. Speaking of non-dairy yogurt, they have improved to the point where they are actually tasty. The one I buy has 12g of protein in a serving… and it’s the store’s brand. If you have trouble with dairy, products, do a bit of exploring. I was pleasantly surprised.

In between all the calls, and waiting for return calls, I decided that our entryway needed some sprucing up, something we’ve talked about for years. When we were in Costco they had beautiful ceramic pots on sale. Front porch worthy pots. We hauled one home, then went to the garden center and bought a Hibiscus that should thrive in the bright morning sun and indirect afternoon light. Her tag says she’s a Cecilia Hibiscus, with red double blooms. So, she came with her own name… and now when I water her I can’t help but sing the Simon and Garfunkle lyrics; “Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart, you’re shaking my confidence daily…oh Cecilia, I’m down on my knees, I’m begging you please to come home, come on home.” She seems at home in her new space, don’t you think?

I know… the tag’s showing on my cushion. Blame the bad prop stylist. I also bought a Star Jasmine which has been planted under the kitchen windows, but since that bed is still a work-in-progress I will take some photos after I get it in order. I came home from the grocery store with an Oregano plant the other day. I’m going to put it in a side bed where I tried to grow Basil for the last three years – it was like hitting my head against a wall – the soil wasn’t appropriate and the sun was too intense. The Oregano should do well next to the Rosemary and Thyme. (Another Simon and Garfunkle song in there.)

I’m focusing on bright spots where I can find them, or make them. And that leads me to my appointment this afternoon – two weeks ago I had my nails done. My illness, perhaps my restrictive diet, and certainly my meds had taken a toll on my nails. And I hadn’t taken care of my cuticles in a while. I’m embarrassed to show you, but I felt like I was hanging on by a thread for a while. Have you ever just had a spell where you were over it all? What did you do?

I chose to do this frivolous thing for myself, and asked one of the women I play Canasta with -she had a particularly well-done American manicure (a french manicure has white tips, an American is more subtle, creamy) – where she got her nails done, then booked an appointment there.
Helen, the owner of the salon, did a wonderful job; she was gentle and very efficient, and has a good eye. All qualities I really appreciate. I loved the results!

The new nails have necessitated gardening gloves, which also feels nurturing… another small layer of self-care.
So although everything else is mostly beyond my control, I am grateful for these small things. For the lovely vignettes I have made, for the fact that I have creative outlets, and because you are all here.

Please take good care of yourselves, okay?

XO Donna

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once

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“I’d like to be an ostrich… and stick my head in the sand for a day. Or, maybe a week, you know. Ignore everything and it will all go away. Oh, how I wish that were so!”

To balance the tsunami of information, misinformation, and bad news – I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts, watching British murder mysteries, rom-coms, and new series on TV.

One that I particularly enjoyed was “With Love, Meghan,” The Duchess of Sussex’s new series on Netflix. She is doing a lifestyle show: she invites people she admires (Alice Waters!) to cook with her. She has girlfriends come visit for beautiful lunches. She invited a local chef to teach her a dish and they bonded over their love of spicy foods, and for the end of the series she threw a beautiful brunch for friends and family, including Prince Harry and her Mom.

The show is filmed in a rented kitchen studio down the street from her personal home. (I respect her decision not to bring a full TV crew into her home and disrupt her children’s life, and who would want people gawking at your personal possessions?) Some scenes do show her incredible gardens, her view of the mountains, and her chickens and beehives.

There’s a lot of jealousy, poor reviews and online-vitriol being thrown Meghan’s way, and I hope she doesn’t take any of it to heart. She’s good at what she does; joyful and at ease. And I like the way she included her crew and staff in the show.

I remember when Martha Stewart first became successful, there was a lot of criticism by people who didn’t want to emulate her. She became the brunt of many jokes and SNL skits for “being perfect,” and an anti-Martha Stewart movement evolved. I bought my first Martha Stewart cookbook in 1983, and I’ve been a fan ever since. I saw her “eye for detail” as aspirational, and was very happy for her comeback after her (unfair) prison stint.

I think Meghan is this generation’s Martha. And to her critics, I say, “haters gonna hate. Those who can’t do, criticize.” With the internet, for better or worse, anyone can have a voice. I was surprised at how at-ease and adept Meaghan is at so many things. Maybe, because I’m older, I appreciate and respect the fact that she wants to work when she certainly doesn’t have to. And she throws her heart into what she’s doing… Give it a watch, admire the view.

“Isn’t the whole point of getting older to be kinder and better to other women?”

Chelsea Handler

I found a new personal-trainer last week. I’d been going to the gym less and less because I felt horrible each time I worked out. Turns out it’s an “exercise-induced inflammatory response.” In the 36 hours after working out my muscles and joints would hurt more and more until I didn’t want to move at all. If you have an autoimmune disorder, or arthritis, and notice this is happening, know that it’s not in your head, and can be addressed.

I overheard Jill, my trainer, talking to a client and approached her when she’d finished. She has lots of experience with auto-immune disorders and this type of inflammatory-response. We started simply, with my joints, to built range and strength. My shoulders haven’t felt so relaxed afterwards in I-don’t-know-how-long. It’s easy to get back on track when exercising doesn’t feel like a slog – and not being in pain is its own motivation. As is liking your teacher. I saw her again this afternoon and enjoyed it even more this time.

Speaking of exercise and getting older, I read this sweet story about Jimmy Carter the other day and wanted to share it with you. “Someone once asked Jimmy Carter how he and his wife stayed so healthy. He said, “When we got married, we made a promise that when we argued, the loser had to run 5 miles…
So for 77 years, I ran 5 miles a day!.” Then someone asked, “So how did Rosalynn stay so healthy?” He said, “She followed me to make sure I actually ran it.”

Don’t you absolutely love that?

Things on the home front are good. My son is doing well, and sends me French movies and music to inspire me to keep studying French. As it happens, I am enjoying it much more than expected. My three sisters all made it through their brutally cold winters up north. And my sweetie just celebrated his 82nd birthday a few weeks ago. I wish I had his energy – he works out with his trainer three times a week, takes care of our yard, garden and trees, and rides his motorcycle every chance he gets! I’ve been baking a lot – now gluten-free and dairy-free. I’ve gotten so good at it that I’m eating it as fast as I cook it, so no photos. Next time!

Please take really good care of yourselves,

XO Donna

No Resolutions

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New Year’s resolutions have always had a negative connotation to them, at least to me. Something must change… and it’s something that needs discipline, willpower, and maybe a bit of punishment to accomplish.
In reality, the origin of resolution is Latin: resolvere – loosen, release. Let go. I like the shift I feel inside when I think of what I can let go of. It feels doable. What do you think?

There is one thing in particular I want to give up this year… My outrage. I refuse to spend the next four years in a perpetual state of outrage over the politics, oppression, hatred, and unjustness I see.


I going to focus myself on what/where/and how I can help. How can I be a good example? And be of service? We can all do this by looking at what is within our “Sphere of Influence?” Our neighborhood and neighbors. Our family and friends. Our spiritual community. Local charities and foundations that actually help the people they’re supposed to. (You’d be surprised how many charities use the majority of donations on administrative costs and nice salaries.)
I am going to shop locally more often by buying from independently-owned or franchised stores, (Shout-out to Penzey’s Spices ) and independent bookstores. Especially those that let me know they are LGBTQ+ friendly. And I’m going to get a library card.

I felt that 2024 was a particularly hard year for me, both as a woman, and in my personal life. I am not sad to see it in the rear-view mirror. And I look forward to a more stable year doing the things I love, that fill me up, and that are good for me!

I’m going to take a short-story writing class through MasterClass. I was a bit afraid, but it’s time to release the fear and “just do it.” It has been a goal to write articles for magazines and online… or to ghost write for others, and get paid to do so. I love researching and writing.

I’m also learning French now after studying Spanish all through the pandemic. My son and I work on my French lessons together during our visits. He has a facility for languages that is amazing, and a mind like a steel trap!

And I’ve been meeting with a group of women to expand my creativity through art. I tend to be paralyzed when confronted with a blank page and the thought of “messing it up.” But letting that go has turned out to be some of the most relaxing time I spend, other than having my nose buried in a great book. I have begun an art journal and am using pen and watercolor to illustrate diary entries and dreams.

I’m also working on the next level of gluten-free baking: raised breads and pastries. Another thing I was afraid I couldn’t do… but I’m ready to tackle that now because “cheating” – eating some bread here, and some cheese there, is leaving me feeling worse than ever.
Or maybe it’s because of that last birthday? LOL.

If you want to view my fave website for all things delish and gluten-free go here: The Loopy Whisk.

So, seven days into the new year, I wish you everything wonderful: self-care and good health, success at new things, great companionship, and lots of good books!

Oh, the one I’m reading right now is called, “The Hypocrite” by Jo Hamya. It’s on lots of Must Read lists, and I’m engrossed. But the afternoon has flown by and it’s time to prepare dinner right now, so my book will have to wait!

Here’s to 2025, and to all of you. Merci beaucoup!
XO Donna

T’was the Night Before

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I’ve tried to keep things simple, but it’s 4:15 a.m. Monday morning and I’m a bit stressed-out as I iron-out my menu for Christmas Eve dinner, tomorrow. I’ve noticed that as I’ve gotten older I tend to stress-out more, rather than less. Is it just me? Tell me it’s not…
Our dear friend Mike (whom you’ve met before) is coming over to shake up some cocktails and celebrate with us. I’ve finally decided on a wonderfully meaty lasagne (Not GF noodles, but I found a perfect sub for all the ricotta) and a Caesar salad. Simple.

Since Christmas and Hanukkah are both on December 25 this year I’m putting an Italian spin on my latkes by using zucchini and potatoes. Topped with vegan sour cream (Kite Hill) and a touch of rosemary they’ll make great appetizers! And to finish everything off, I’m trying out an Eggnog panna cotta. My sweetie loves eggnog… so I thought, Why not? I’ll have to try a bite or two, to make sure it’s good. LOL

I know my omnivore son will love everything – I’m bringing dinner to him and we’ll visit on Christmas Day. He’s doing much better; he’s able to be in his chair comfortably now for a couple of hours. He even visited with his friends away from the nursing home for the first time. Big win in my book!

Lasagne is my son’s paternal family’s tradition. We used to have the most delicious Italian feasts at his grandparents house, food was their love-language. Four generations would gather, and that celebration is sorely missed.
I do my best, but those are by-gone memories we cherish now.
Jason’s Grandmother and Great-grandmother, and their cooking, were the glue that held an extensive network of friends and family together.

Speaking of four generations – Turk’s grandson and his beautiful wife are in town till January 7, and we got to meet our precious great-granddaughter for the first time!
My sweetie is absolutely smitten!
She was born in Korea, where they are stationed. She is such a happy baby, easy-going, always smiling and willing to be held or played with by everyone.

We will be driving to San Antonio on the 27th to honor her baptism into the Catholic faith with her family. And taking time for a little getaway to see the lights along the Riverwalk and visit some favorite places.

Turk found his rosary beads from when he attended church as a child – beautiful faceted stones that look like garnets – and he’s going to pass them along to her. We hope she enjoys them, and appreciates their history one day.

I hope all of your celebrations are merry and bright, and I thank you for spending another year with me. I appreciate it more than you know.

XO Donna

GRATITUDE… in general

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It seems like Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving has just snuck up on me. Last week it was 86 degrees and this morning it’s 41. The leaves are falling, and my sweetie is complaining that no sooner does he get them all raked up… than he has to do it again. I think he takes it personally. So, of course, we will celebrate when the last one has fallen.

I don’t know about you, but I make menus and keep running lists for what I’m preparing for Turkey Day. Even when I’m only doing part of the dinner.
We have family members who, like me, can’t eat wheat or dairy. Or nuts, come to think of it. And a family member who can’t eat eggs. I like to surprise her with a special treat.
And we have a few omnivores who can eat anything, and yet enjoy the GF, egg-free and non-dairy items too, so I make extra. I honestly love the challenge.

How about you? Do you find you are preparing more foods in a non-traditional way each year? What specifically? Please share. 😉

If you’re like me, I’ll bet you’ve started your holiday/Christmas shopping, and I have a book to add to your list.
From a blurb in The Atlantic magazine on perfect gifts: “If, like me, you love museums, love coffee-table books and loathe the systemic erasure of women from the Western culture, then this gift is for you.”

When visiting a museum, Ms. Hessel realized that 83% of the art on the walls was by men… this is her effort to bring women artists into the light. Something that is long overdue and should be fascinating. I’ve ordered mine already! $42.00 on Amazon

Here’s a small, but soul-soothing gift (who couldn’t use that these days?) This candle was on the same “best gifts” list, and what I love about it is the fact that it’s a gender-neutral gift. I dislike all the pumpkin-spicy and peppermint candles that accompany the holiday season. This one is available at Target: Threshold Leather & Embers candle. It is subtly delicious, and the amber glass and wooden lid make it look more expensive than it actually is. At $12.00 each, and under, you can buy a few without breaking the bank.

I can’t remember if this is our 8th or 9th Thanksgiving together – but it means the world to me that you keep reading. I have so much to be grateful for, and you, dear readers, are a very large part of that.
Thank you, and I hope you all have a delicious and Happy Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving!

XO Donna

Broken Hearted

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In my last post I was heading off “into the sunset to rest and relax after getting my son comfortably settled in a nursing home.”

Except, it seems that I put a bow on all of that too soon, and I have been hesitant to talk about everything that happened next, not wanting you to feel sorry for me, or to put our connection at risk by oversharing.

The pressure didn’t let up: the nursing home wasn’t up to speed in dealing with a young person with advanced MS. It took a couple of months, and my constant complaining, to get things under control. This, combined with Jason’s anguish, led to many middle-of-the-night phone calls, and almost daily two-hour-round-trip drives. His friends were there for support, but I found myself always waiting for the other shoe to drop because, ultimately, as his Mom, the onus is on me.

On Easter Sunday we went to visit Jason, then on to dinner with Turk’s family. I felt exhausted and uncomfortable, but it was nice to socialize and relax a little. Unfortunately, my discomfort worsened over the next few days. I thought I was having indigestion-from-hell. I lost my appetite, and I couldn’t sleep unless I was sitting up on the sofa. When my abdomen became swollen, I realized this was beyond stress and indigestion… Turk took me to the ER on April 5th.

The ER cardiologist scooted up to me on a stool, leaned forward and said, “Do you know you’re in congestive heart failure?”

I’m assuming it was a rhetorical question, how would I have know that? “At your last heart exam in November, everything seemed fine, I don’t understand how you got here. What’s been going on?”

Well, you all know the story, but I went through it again with him, and after doing so, we both sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. I added that I felt absolutely broken-hearted. “That’s because you are,” he said. “It’s called takotsubo cardiomyopathy or “broken-heart syndrome.” It’s a real, and fortunately, reversible condition that often mimics a heart attack.

A week in the hospital forced me to rest (as much as one can) and gave the doctors a chance to get a complete picture of what was happening. It also let Jason (and me) see myself as something other than Supermom.
It’s been a difficult adjustment for me since I prided myself on my resilience… maybe too much so. I don’t bounce the way I used to. But, word got out quickly that I was in the hospital and Jason’s friends were all there for him. We got in the habit of a daily check-in where he’s checkin on me, rather than vice-versa.

I slept off-and-on around the clock, someone else cooked all of my meals, and a Nutritionist came to visit and explain my new diet: unfortunately, I’m now on a low-sodium diet. No dairy. No wheat. No alcohol. And now, No salt. Yuck. I’ll figure it out, I love to cook and I love to eat.

The highlight of my stay: I got to see the total eclipse while I was in the hospital!



Turk was visiting, and I was cleared to walk down to the cafeteria with it’s courtyard just outside. We watched as hospital staff went in and out observing the progression of the eclipse. It got so crowded we wondered who was taking care of the patients? When Turk finished his sandwich, we joined everyone outside. Nobody blinked an eye as I stood out there in my flamingo pajamas and slippers!

Solar eclipse viewing

We were in the “path of totality,” and although it had been cloudy, it cleared in time to see everything. It was exciting to share this rare event with everyone around us. Camaraderie. And cheers when it was over… then, back to work. A reminder to me that there is always something beautiful, somewhere, if you’re open to it.

While these last few months have been challenging, mostly I’m doing well. I haven’t had the attention span to read or write, but I have listened to podcasts. “Wiser Than Me,” with Julia Louis-Dreyfus stands out, and “MeSsy,” Christina Applegate’s podcast is great. I’ve watched some good TV series – I loved “Land of Women” (Terra de Mujeres) on Apple TV, starring Eva Longoria as a socialite-on-the-run in Spain. On Netflix, “Unstable” with Rob Lowe and his son is quirky, but fun. And my sisters and I have formed our own book club – we all like murder mysteries – and our first book is “Mindful of Murder,” by Susan Juby. I’ll let you know.

And we bought an air-fryer, after lots of encouragement from my daughter-in-law. I can easily make odor-free, mess-free, grass-fed burgers and turkey-burgers, pork tenderloin and chicken breasts. Roasted veggies are a cinch, too. Clean-up is easy and it doesn’t heat up the kitchen. Good food, fast, for when you’re tired but want to eat well. Add an easy bagged organic salad and voilà!

Unsalted steak-fries.

So, that’s what’s been going on. Of all the things I pictured in my retirement, this was not one of them… but, as my wonderful mother-in-law used to say, “What can you do?” I guess, “The best you can,” is the answer to that.

XO Donna

It Takes a Village

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This past weekend was the first time since January 8th that I’ve felt my body physically relax. After operating in fight-or-flight mode for the last 8 weeks it felt good to feel my shoulders drop, my stomach unknot and to be able to breathe deeply again.

My son, Jason, has had MS (multiple sclerosis) since he was 20. Over the years he would have flare-ups, be treated, and recover, and get on with his life. We thought it would go on this way for the rest of his life… but the course of the disease changed and he needed a cane to assist him, then six years ago he needed a wheelchair. The disease had become progressive.

On January 8th his friends called to tell me he was in the hospital. He’d caught a virus, and spent 11 days there, then was sent to a nursing home/ rehab center to get stronger and finish healing. He hated the whole experience, so he left and went home to recover with all of his friends helping him. The problem was that the MS left him confined to his bed this time.

We hired a Home Health Care team to come in 8-12 hour shifts while I looked for another place that would be appropriate for him. He had a village of friends, doctors, and caregivers surrounding him, yet things were still going downhill. It became a race against the clock – and his insurance company – to find the right place for him.

On February 7th we threw a 53rd birthday party for him, and he was able to sit up and visit with his friends, and we all enjoyed his birthday cake: a deliciously moist dark chocolate cake with strawberry filling, pale strawberry buttercream icing, and fresh berries on top. It was a thing of beauty.

Three days later, after a particularly bad night, he was taken to the hospital crying in pain. His friends again called to tell me, and Turk and I headed there to see what was going on. He had developed an infection that injured his kidney. At 10:30 at night they released my heavily- sedated son to us with an explanation of the problem, how they had treated it, a bunch of tubes, bags, suggestions, and a prescription to be filled the next morning.

Between all of us, we managed for five more days (while I continued struggling to find a place for him) when his favorite care-giver called to tell me she thought he needed to go back to the hospital immediately. She wanted me to call an ambulance!

She was right, Jason definitely needed to be back in the hospital. Since the downtown one, just blocks from his apartment, was at maximum capacity he was taken to a newer and much less-crowded one on the north side of the city. Rather than treating and releasing him again, this hospital kept him and worked hard to get his pain under control, cleared up the lingering infection, and a social worker there helped us find a facility to move Jason into that could handle his medical issues AND would accept his insurance.

Jason is slowly adjusting to his new life in a retirement center/nursing home where he has 24/7 care. The nurses and attendants treat him well, he says that the food is good, and most importantly, he’s close to all of his friends!

There are still a few important things I have to work out, but I’m not hyperventilating all of the time, I’m not worrying about him every second of the day, nor am I handling everything alone. My son has built the most wonderful village around himself to help us both, and I am grateful beyond words for each and every one of them!

XO Donna