Love Letter to My Bosses, Redux

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(This was originally posted  in July, 2014. I felt I had to edit and share it again. Thank you for understanding.)

With two very brief exceptions, I have been a hairstylist my whole adult life. I got my licence in 1976 in New York and I find it hard to believe time has gone by so quickly! In all that time as a stylist, I’ve only had three bosses.

Dragon OrchidThe first demanded the very best of us and gave us the very best of everything in return. She provided a state-of-the-art salon and education for us,  both on a professional level, and a personal-growth level.  I owe much of who I’ve become to her. Though we didn’t part on the best of terms, I feel a profound love and gratitude for her strength and vision.  I see that her expectations of me, though grand, were nothing more than she asked of herself, and nothing I couldn’t have lived up to. I told her this a couple years ago, and we are now on good terms.

After her, I rented a studio from a sweet man for almost 14 years…he was kind, affable, and always in a good mood. All he wanted was for us to have a good life, have fun, and respect each other. He would have loved it if we had become one-big-happy-family.  He regularly pointed out how lucky we were to be self-employed stylists, and if you forgot what those reasons were,  he’d gladly recite them. He passed away a couple of years ago…and I am grateful that he knew how much I loved him.

I briefly had my second boss after him. It was not a good fit for either of us, and I left after a year. ‘Nough said.

I have had the good fortune to work part-time for my third boss, Josh, for three years now, although I have known him for many more. He is another salon owner that truly wants his staff to be happy and successful. And for more than twenty years, he and Bella Salon have been a fixture on the Austin scene.

More orchids1The greeting above our front desk: Love All, Serve All says it all.

Josh found out that he had lung cancer shortly after I began. Three years later he is in Hospice care and will pass out of this world any day now.  My heart is breaking as I think about Bella without Josh. He made sure we know everything will be okay, the salon will go on. And he has worked right beside us, surrounded by his clients and his beautiful orchids, until it became impossible to do so.

Last week before he left he stood in the doorway of our room, hands in his pockets, and watched us with our clients. He smiled beatifically, taking it all in, as if to remember every bit of it. His presence there felt like a benediction.

Josh was passionate about hairdressing – so much so that he’d rather be at the salon than almost anywhere else. We should all feel so passionate about what we do! Bella will indeed go on, we are professionals who also love what we do. We will follow Josh’s example, continue what he began, and live up to the credo at our entrance.

Godspeed, my friend. Until we meet again.

XO Donna

What is sexy?

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Captain-Jack-Sparrow-captain-jack-sparrow-4274507-751-1000The problem is not the problem.
The problem
is your attitude about
the problem.
Do you understand?

Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

I can just hear him drunkenly slurring and spraying those lines. I admit it, I am a Johnny Depp fan. I think he’s sexy. And that brings me to the problem at hand, which is that I am trying to quantify “what is sexy.”  It is, after all, the relevant part of the title of my blog, and it’s the major component of the book I am writing, “Sick & Tired…and Sexy.”

Another admission, it’s the part of the book that I have hesitated to write until last, despite being the part of the book I must lead with. I’m sure it’s the part any publisher is going to care about; because who wants to read a book about being sick and tired? Exactly. But a how-to book on being sexy in spite of chronic illness just might grab their attention!

My problematic attitude: I think that sexiness, as a quality, is very difficult to write about. I don’t know if I can get my head around it. I worry that I won’t do such an important topic justice. One thing I see is that because of advertising, our society equates being sexy with desirability and worthiness, but we shouldn’t buy into that. I read a great article by Sam Stempky entitled “Dear sweatpants & hoodies, Thanks for being there for me. Sincerely, Sexy and I know it, but too lazy to show it.” She’s only college-aged and she’s figured out that her value doesn’t change based on how she looks or how “sexy” she currently appears. She has decided that she is worthy all of the time. Now, that’s sexy!

I will get an attitude adjustment, and start with what I know for certain:  Sexiness is a quality that can’t be faked. It’s a blend of attitude, confidence, caring about yourself, and comfort in your own skin, no matter what.
I know sexy when I see it. I also know it when I feel it. And I know when I’m not feelin’ it. I will keep working on this topic over the next few weeks, and invite you all to write me with any insights you have.

Let’s close with this:  “In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants.”
Rhoda Janzen

I agree,
XO Donna

Frozen…

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Dried podIt seems as if everything is holding it’s breath, frozen. Like the Big Hand in the Sky has hit the pause button. Nothing is moving forward and it’s cold, rainy, and grey. Most of the trees and vines have shed their leaves, and they too have turned an organic grey.

Texans keep complaining that they’re tired of the cold. Newcomers complain that it feels as if they’ve moved to Portland, or Seattle. They were not expecting all of this rain and gloominess. In time they will learn that “winter showers bring wildflowers.”

In Punxsutawney, PA, Phil the Groundhog saw his shadow. For our northern brethren that means six more weeks of winter. Phil was so frustrated he even went to far as to bite the Mayor!
(This is be a great time to remind you to watch “Groundhog Day,” starring Bill Murray and Andie McDowell. Again.)  Down here, Armadillo Bob didn’t see his shadow.  Spring should be here soon. And then gone just as quickly. Then it will become hot, unrelentingly hot.

It’s challenging to have patience when things seem to drag on and on.
It’s challenging to remain optimistic when things aren’t the way you want them to be.
It’s challenging to hold on to your vision and desires, but not hold on too tightly in order to allow for something even better.

DaffsBut, that’s exactly what we must do.

Even now, when I can’t seem to get warm, and feel tired of all the greyness, there are bright red Cardinals flitting among the dead vines on my fence. And there is a cluster of even brighter red berries just beyond that fence. Last week as I walked to work in the cold and rain, I saw the first daffodils coming up.

Winter never lasts. Spring always comes.

XO Donna