It Takes a Village

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This past weekend was the first time since January 8th that I’ve felt my body physically relax. After operating in fight-or-flight mode for the last 8 weeks it felt good to feel my shoulders drop, my stomach unknot and to be able to breathe deeply again.

My son, Jason, has had MS (multiple sclerosis) since he was 20. Over the years he would have flare-ups, be treated, and recover, and get on with his life. We thought it would go on this way for the rest of his life… but the course of the disease changed and he needed a cane to assist him, then six years ago he needed a wheelchair. The disease had become progressive.

On January 8th his friends called to tell me he was in the hospital. He’d caught a virus, and spent 11 days there, then was sent to a nursing home/ rehab center to get stronger and finish healing. He hated the whole experience, so he left and went home to recover with all of his friends helping him. The problem was that the MS left him confined to his bed this time.

We hired a Home Health Care team to come in 8-12 hour shifts while I looked for another place that would be appropriate for him. He had a village of friends, doctors, and caregivers surrounding him, yet things were still going downhill. It became a race against the clock – and his insurance company – to find the right place for him.

On February 7th we threw a 53rd birthday party for him, and he was able to sit up and visit with his friends, and we all enjoyed his birthday cake: a deliciously moist dark chocolate cake with strawberry filling, pale strawberry buttercream icing, and fresh berries on top. It was a thing of beauty.

Three days later, after a particularly bad night, he was taken to the hospital crying in pain. His friends again called to tell me, and Turk and I headed there to see what was going on. He had developed an infection that injured his kidney. At 10:30 at night they released my heavily- sedated son to us with an explanation of the problem, how they had treated it, a bunch of tubes, bags, suggestions, and a prescription to be filled the next morning.

Between all of us, we managed for five more days (while I continued struggling to find a place for him) when his favorite care-giver called to tell me she thought he needed to go back to the hospital immediately. She wanted me to call an ambulance!

She was right, Jason definitely needed to be back in the hospital. Since the downtown one, just blocks from his apartment, was at maximum capacity he was taken to a newer and much less-crowded one on the north side of the city. Rather than treating and releasing him again, this hospital kept him and worked hard to get his pain under control, cleared up the lingering infection, and a social worker there helped us find a facility to move Jason into that could handle his medical issues AND would accept his insurance.

Jason is slowly adjusting to his new life in a retirement center/nursing home where he has 24/7 care. The nurses and attendants treat him well, he says that the food is good, and most importantly, he’s close to all of his friends!

There are still a few important things I have to work out, but I’m not hyperventilating all of the time, I’m not worrying about him every second of the day, nor am I handling everything alone. My son has built the most wonderful village around himself to help us both, and I am grateful beyond words for each and every one of them!

XO Donna

GOOD THINGS

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Since I last posted, I had a birthday and turned 71. Unimaginable! If you’re not there yet, it’s just fine, I don’t suddenly feel “old.”
Old is absolutely a state of mind, a way of looking at life. A choice. And one I am not choosing.

To celebrate, we had a delicious lunch out – yes, in a public place! I have been hesitant to go any place without a mask for a long time, despite being vaxxed and boosted, and having had both a flu and pneumonia shot. As Dr. Fauci said, “An over-abundance of caution.”
I love that, and I think he’s pretty cute, too. So, I’m finally dipping my toes in the water.

The restaurant we chose was spacious, with lots of room between the tables, so I felt safe. The building was originally the old city post office here in Georgetown which has been newly renovated into a modern and elegant space, with tall charcoal wainscoting and soaring ceilings. There’s even a grand piano in the main dining room, which could be another wonderful reason to return.

As a reminder of its past-life, they’ve left a bank of post boxes in the entry foyer. We used them as a backdrop for our photo. I always judge a restaurant by the state of it’s Ladies Room – and it was immaculate and beautifully appointed. Add a daybed and it would make a lovely boudoir. Gave me some decorating ideas!

My dear friend Mike, (on right) whom you’ve met before, came with us to celebrate our Scorpio birthdays! We’ve been doing this for years. I’m lucky to have him in my life. The three of us were seated in a spacious, yet still cozy, booth. The food was great, and our waitress was on top of every single thing, a delight in this age of indifferent service. We even met and chatted with the manager. As were were leaving our waitress took this photo of us. Another great birthday on the books!

I’m a big BBC and Masterpiece fan, and I have a couple of things to recommend. First, “Mrs Palfrey at the Claremont,” was a joy. It stars Joan Plowright, who strikes up a sweet (not romantic) friendship with a young writer. It turns out they have more in common with each other – despite the age difference – than they do with people their own ages. I really love the theme of intergenerational friendships. Living in a place where everyone is the same age, I really miss having that, as I did when I worked.
In my rating system, I give this movie 5 hearts.

Next is “Enola Holmes.” Do I mean Holmes, like? Yes, Mycroft and Sherlock’s Holmes younger sister. A wonderful, exciting romp about a young girl who was unconventionally raised, then abandoned, by her suffragette, firebrand mother – played by Helena Bonham Cater.
Enola struggles to find her place, though her gift is undeniable, and eventually, after lots of adventures and misadventures, all becomes clear. It’s in two parts, and worth watching on your own, but it would be fun to watch with kids old enough (10+) to follow the plot and be inspired by the lessons learned. Especially liberating for young girls. This movie gets another 5 hearts.

And last, but not least, I am anxiously awaiting a new film starring Bill Nighy. You know him, of course – he played the aging rock star in “Love Actually.” (Which you must put on the top of your holiday watchlist!)
I believe I have seen everything he’s ever acted in, he’s that good and that watchable. The new film is called, “Living,” which comes out here in the States on December 23, after its debut at Sundance Film Festival earlier this year.

The film has an amazing pedigree: inspired by the 1886 novella The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Tolstoy, with a screenplay by Kazuo Ishiguro, the Nobel and Booker prize winner who wrote The Remains of the Day. It’s set in the 1950s about a civil servant who has dutifully trudged through life, and upon finding out he has cancer, and not a lot of time left, decides to make his remaining time count. If anyone can make this beautiful, it’s Nighy. I can’t wait…. c’mon Santa!

For now, I wish you all a lovely Thanksgiving, and a safe journey if you’re traveling. I am thankful that you are all at the other end of this post, reading and maybe learning some fun new things. I look forward to hearing how your Thanksgiving went.

And, if you are a Black Friday fan, I’ve got a sale running in my shop, starting Friday with Free Shipping, no code needed. Here’s the address.
I’ve been told the link didn’t work, but you can copy and paste, or just type this out. Thanks to Trish for letting me know!

etsy.com/shop/fairviewphotos

XO Donna

ASK YOUR MOTHER

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My youngest sister Elizabeth and I have been having long conversations lately where we wonder about our Mom’s relationship with her older (and only) sister Wilma. Their age difference was also 14-15 years. I know my mother adored and missed Wilma because she took me, then me and Terry, then me, Terry and Lynn to visit her each year. And I remember watching her write letters. Lots of letters.

I’ve talked about my love of those long train trips trips from NYC to St. Louis, MO before. I enjoyed every minute, but can you imagine being a young woman of 25 with three babies traveling by train across country? The question we ask is, “Why did she move to NY when her whole family was in the St. Louis area?

I’ve never wondered why my parents married at City Hall with a Justice of the Peace, just accepted it at face value, but Elizabeth finds it inconceivable that they wouldn’t have had a wedding with all of Mom’s family in attendance. Maybe they didn’t accept my Yankee father… or his religion, and dealing with that was more than they wanted to do. Maybe money was an issue, Dad had just come home from the Korean war and was building a career. Maybe it seemed more romantic to them to elope. There is so much that we know nothing about…

(My parents. December 3, 1950. My mother’s jacket and skirt were the loveliest camel-colored velvet.)


As we talk about this gap in our knowledge of our Mom, we wish that we’d been more present, asked her questions, listened between the lines to what she was saying. Well, just listened, period. Kids tend to be innately more self-centered.

With a house full of kids and all the work that caring for six other people entailed (Mom had the five of us girls by the time she was 35, birth control not being an option back then) I’m sure she didn’t have time to reminisce about her hopes or dreams, or why she made the choices she made. And having married at only 19, had she even had time to think about any of it yet, really?

There are so many questions that neither of us knew to ask. I think this would make a good book – asking everyone, asking all of you, “What do you wish you had asked your Mother while you could?” Please, please , please if you have a suggestion, leave it in the comments. Who knows where it’ll go?

She’s been gone 24 years now, and I almost miss her more, but the things I miss about her are different now; I miss the “her” that I never knew.

I appreciate you all,

XO Donna

Forever Young

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Have you ever read something (other than politics) that just pisses you off?

I read a post on Sunday by a fitness guy I follow who said “what do you think of when you think of the average 62-70 year old? Shuffling along, stooped over, looking down at their feet to see where they’re going so they don’t trip, right?”

I’M INSULTED! After reading further, I realized that his ultimate point was that our bodies are designed to be strong and capable well into old age, but only “IF you never stopped moving, playing, lifting, climbing, and running… from childhood on.” Our society has become too sedentary, thus, too unfit and unhealthy too early. But, not us, right?

MY FIRST WAY to stay “young” is to stay strong and flexible. If you are playing, chasing, lifting and entertaining your Grands, do it as much as you can. If they wear you out, don’t start sitting on the sidelines, get stronger – for them and for yourself.

There are so many ways to accomplish this. What is my routine? I’ve done Nia Classes taught by my dear friend Holly (http://hollynastasi.com) for more than 20 years. Now I do them on Zoom with people from all across the world!
I also walk briskly 2-3 times a week, do crunches after walking, Plank daily, yoga stretches and crawling/playing on the floor regularly.

FLOORPLAY – MY HAPPY PLACE

While walking is great, it doesn’t engage your whole body; add some Yoga, Chair Yoga, Nia, Pilates, Zumba, Bicycling, Water Aerobics, Light Weights training, or Kettlebell. Just find something you love and go for it!

THE SECOND WAY to stay “forever young” is to develop intergenerational friendships. I have been very lucky to have friends both much older and much younger than myself.

The young stylists I met at work were a tough crowd, LOL. We could have easily dismissed each other because of our age, but they teased me into learning the latest technology, fashion trends, and music, while showing me a lot of respect for my life-skills . They are what I most miss about no longer working in the beauty industry.
Other friendships were formed over a love of good food, photography and art, and mutual admiration. These talented young women have been willing to include me in their lives. I am honored.

My older friends guided me with nurturing, encouragement and the benefit of their life experiences. Two set great examples of being young at heart, and were certainly stand-ins for my Mom after she passed in ’98. They were always generous, engaged, and active.

Nancy became client in the mid-1980s, and we became fast-friends. She was a little-bit coastal-grandmother – her family had a large Victorian summer-home on Rhode Island – and a little bit hippy. She hiked for years, and did yoga into her 90’s. She read widely, had been a librarian. I loved her style, her thoughtful way of speaking, her comfortable cottage in South Austin. We lived near each other, and I especially enjoyed being invited to lunch at her home.

We shared a love of blue & white Asian bowls, and on one of our last visits, I photographed these on her sunlit shelf, creating this watercolor.
She was always open-minded, curious, and inclusive. I miss her terribly.

NANCY’S NEW CUT (that bone-structure!)
Nancy’s Bowls

I met Lee at BookPeople in Austin, when we attended a book-signing for three women we both knew. She “took me under her wing,” became my friend, and was always a steadfast cheerleader as I wrote my book and struggled to regain my health. She is the first person I acknowledged in my book, and I don’t know if I would have finished it without her checking in on me.

Lee and I shared a love of hair and fashion, and Lee loved being right in the thick of things, in the spotlight if possible. Being shy, I admired that quality a lot!

She was a successful public speaker, who left Exxon to pursue her own career, then created a school to train hundreds of others to do what she did. Lee’s 90th birthday party (below) was an amazing gathering of all the people whose lives she had touched. She pledged that night to have another for her 100th, but passed away last year, 4 years shy of her goal. I really miss our annual birthday lunches, and her bright, cheery voice!

Lee’s 90th Birthday Party
Lee @ 93 Our Annual Birthday Lunch @ Cheesecake Factory

I came across this photo the other day which I’d saved, and it’s a reminder to myself after I found myself thinking, “what does it matter if I go out looking like this?”
This is the THIRD WAY to stay youthful, and this picture really is worth a thousand words.

We’ve gotta live like we’ve got lots more life ahead of us, because we may have. What we do today will affect our tomorrows.

Thanks for being in my life. I loved all of your comments!
XO Donna

KINDER AND GENTLER

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IF you’ve noticed I haven’t shown up in your mailbox for a while, it’s because I have had Covid.

Yes, despite being vaxxed and boosted, and wearing a mask everywhere indoors, I got it anyway, as did my sweetie. I gotta say, I never had any doubts about my need for the vaccine, and I am grateful that so many people worked so hard to make one… I can’t imagine not having the vaccine – it knocked me on my ass, not gonna sugar-coat it. Today is the first day out of the last 14 that I have felt a bit like myself again. But I could sure use a nap. LOL

Let’s magically go back to what I began to write 3 weeks ago:

I am making a quiche for my son. It’s one I made all the time when he was growing up and it is dependent on perfectly-ripe farm-fresh tomatoes. I bought a few at our farmer’s market this morning, along with some onions, and I can’t get the memory of this Tomato & Onion Pie (what it is called in this cookbook I’ve had since the mid-1970s) out of my mind. A chunk of Jarlsberg, a few eggs, some half & half, and it will be heavenly!

Much used, well loved.

This cookbook was published in 1972, a year after my son was born, but I didn’t buy it until three years later when I began my first hairdressing job. There was an incredibly beautiful woman who owned a shop half a block from the salon where I worked. She was my boss’s client and we would always talk as I shampooed her hair.

Her shop – The Jade Garden – just around the corner from our shop, was full of airplants in stunning seashells from all around the globe, suspended everywhere in the delicate macrame hangers she made. Acrylic pedestals in varying heights featured whimsical terrariums she constructed. She was fascinating and exotic to me: she’d been to India, where she’d been given her name by her guru. She ran her own very chic business, something unimaginable to my twenty-five year old self. Her jewelry! And, she was a vegetarian.

I never really enjoyed meat, but I had no idea there were options other than what I had been raised with. There was a small health food store within walking distance of my shop – frequented by all the people coming into town from NYC to catch the ferries to Fire Island. We walked there together for lunch one day, and I was hooked. Down the veggie rabbit-hole I went!

I bought this book there. I had a Bohemian heart, and this book with it’s sweet stories of sharing good food which has been lovingly prepared struck a chord within me. Growing up, dinner was something to be “fixed” and on the table on time every night. Usually it was a very stressful event, to be endured. Not something to be enjoyed. This book presented a better way for me raise my son and enjoy our meals together.

These illustrations appealed to my Bohemian heart.

Between this book, and it’s follow-up, AnneMarie Colbin’s book, “Food and Healing, ” and James Beard’s book on bread – plus all the wonderful vegetarian friends I met when I moved to Austin a lifetime ago, I’ve always eaten well. Often on a tight-budget as a single-mom, but always well. Going back to my hippie roots always makes me happy. Food should be delicious, made with healthful ingredients, and beautiful. I am happy I made this quiche before I got sick; it made me feel better knowing that my son was enjoying it!

It is beautiful, no? if any of you are interested in the recipe, please leave a remark in the comments – I will gladly send it to you. It’s fabulous with a nice salad, a glass of buttery Chardonnay, and pears or peaches for dessert. And just as good when reheated in a toaster oven the next day!
XO Donna

Tomato and Onion Pie, oh my!

SYNCHRONICITY

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Isn’t it odd how someone you haven’t seen for years can suddenly float into your mind, and then, bam! you run into them in a place you would never have imagined?

I live 35 miles NW of Austin, Texas… and my dentist, and quite a few of my doctors, are there.
I’m completely unwilling to go to anyone else, so I usually plan a few things around medical visits when I am going to be in town. Today was a twice-rescheduled dental cleaning and new x-rays. Then off to get bloodwork done. Last stop, visit my son to sit in the shade to enjoy lunch with him.

I parked on the street in front of the big old brick home where he rents an apartment. It’s a beautiful neighborhood close to the university, lots of tall trees and still has un-metered parking. He has a tiny brick patio under those tall trees, and that’s where we always visit.

When we said our good-byes, I climbed into my now very hot car, got my purse settled, and was waiting for the A/C to cool the car. I was just about to fasten my seatbelt and leave, when I saw a man walking towards the car parked in front of me.

It couldn’t be… I was thinking about him and his wife just yesterday, remembering their swimming pool, with its dark bottom, shaded and made private in the middle of downtown Austin, by bamboo. I wished I was in that pool, and hoped they were well.

Side-note: our friendship ended about seven years ago – when she and I fell-out.

I got out of my car and called out to him, never stopping to wonder if I’d be rejected, and was greeted with a warm hug, and a nice conversation.

I always do my best to forgive and move on. Sometimes the ending of a friendship is wistful, you wish it had gone down differently, you miss them. Other times, you chalk it up to a lesson learned, and that person becomes “just somebody that I used to know.” You know?

This fell into the first category. I don’t know if anything will come of this, I expect nothing. But I finally got to say that I am sorry for the way our friendship ended, and let him know that I think of them often, fondly. He said they felt the same way, too.

As he was walking back to his car he turned to me, “Your birthday is still November 6th, right?”

I’m amazed at everything that conspired to make this happen – 30 seconds later and it wouldn’t have. I feel like I am finally getting my mojo back!

XO. Donna

PS – Speaking of Mojo – everything in my Etsy shop is on sale half-price. They make lovely gifts. Link below. XO

etsy.com/shop/FairviewPhotos

AND HERE’S TO YOU

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“Mrs. Robinson. Jesus loves you more than you will know… “
No, wait! That’s not what I meant to say, but now you’re humming it too, aren’t you?

Here’s to you, 2022, because you’re going to be a great year!

I believe this wholeheartedly, and the fact that I accomplished two major goals last year, and turned 70 to boot, gives me a foundation for my belief.

My first goal was to have what turned out to be a life-saving surgery. Now, almost seven months later, I feel so much better that I can look forward to a healthier, exciting year. My cardiologist is thrilled with my improvement – I saw her Tuesday and she reduced my meds because my blood-pressure is now too low – because my heart is working properly again!

My second goal (and I went right down to the wire accomplishing it) was taking an idea that came out of a therapy session, and turning it into a reality. I’ve opened a shop designing/selling greeting cards on ETSY. The cards are made from some of my favorite photos and professionally-printed for me on lovely card stock.

Maybe it’s my age, although I’d rather blame it on anything else, but the learning curve to get the thing up-and-running was an absolute bear! Have you noticed this, too? Does everything seem more complicated?
It took me months to get all of my ducks-in-a-row, but it opened with a bang on December 31!

Here’s the link to visit: etsy.com/shop/FairviewPhotos

It is so exciting to sit here working, surrounded by packages of beautiful cards in shiny wrappers, imagining all of the loving notes that will be written and received.

Flower Power

Naming the shop was a challenge, but I set an intention one night before bed: I would know what to call it when I woke in the morning. And I did: FairviewPhotos is named for the only street where all of the O’Klock sisters lived together.

It was just me, Terry, and Lynn when we lived in Bohemia, a little town on Long Island, in the mid-50’s. Then, new baby sister, Andee, joined us in Sayville in the 60’s while a new house was being built. When the Bayport house was ready, we moved in, and Elizabeth (whom you met in my post in August) was born. All five of us on Fairview Avenue.

There are two other reasons I believe it will be a good year – and yes, they are “airy-fairy,” but, I study Tarot and Numerology a bit, and last year was a chaotic “5” year. (2+0+2+1 =5) all about personal freedom in all it’s forms – and look what that turned into!

This year will be a “6” year, (2+0+2+2 = 6) and the preponderance of twos is also good because they are about partnership, diplomacy and love. Yes, THANK YOU!

The number “6” is about taking responsibility, with an emphasis on relationships and equilibrium. This year may be more about “What’s good for ALL of us?” and less about “Me, my rights, and what I want.” With this mindset there is room for an emphasis on growth and healing, cooperation, and service to others.

I read that 2022 is also a magnetic year; meaning that you can attract things more easily, both good and bad. Focus on your goals, and think BIG. Stay positive, drop judgements toward yourself and others. And drop guilt. Who needs more of that?

My Vitex Card

The icing on the cake for me, is the Pantone Color of the Year 2022, is VERY PERI. It’s not quite blue and not quite violet, but it is the color of the Sixth chakra, our Third Eye. It’s the color of the Vitex flower, above.

Last year’s color was Ultimate Gray… if that tells you anything. Don’t get me wrong, I love grey. This chakra, and it’s corresponding color, relate to self-responsibility and the ability to see things from a higher viewpoint, rather than satisfying your own ego. It also gives us the experience of being part of the whole.

The gift of this chakra is seeing AND understanding.

Let’s have faith that things are improving, let’s focus on what’s good. It’s a magnetic year, after all.

Let’s decorate our home with indigo-colored flowers, or better yet, plant some iris, lavender, and periwinkles in your garden. We planned to plant a Vitex tree and lavender bed this spring – I knew there was a reason I was focused exclusively on purple plants for my garden!

Frankincense, Lavender, Neroli and Juniper are all supposed to be beneficial for the Third Eye Chakra – they are available as incenses and oils, which I love and my sweetie hates. Relationships and equilibrium, huh? I’ll get back to you on the incense.

Wishing you a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year.
XO Donna

LASAGNA

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Lasagna is a special occasion dish: Easter, Christmas, maybe a big birthday. All of the hours of preparation and assembly are done step-by-step with a sense of duty, tradition, and love. An obligation willingly accepted. It is understood that no matter what is happening – good or bad – a lasagna will always make it better, and the family gathered around the table to share in the deliciousness was the best thing of all.

This I learned from my in-laws.

Growing up, we didn’t eat lasagna, my Mom didn’t know how to make it until I’d married and my in-laws taught her. Our family’s go-to for special occasions was a ham… but most of our holidays were, well, not very special. My father’s anxiety and frustration increased as the hours ticked by, and by dinnertime everyone was wound-up so tight that nobody was really hungry.
My Mom may have made a perfectly delicious meal, but as good as it was, there was very little room for fun or conversation at the dinner table.

I met my future husband when I was just sixteen. My first invitation to dinner at his home was a revelation. They were a three-generation family under one roof, only the second I’d ever met, and everyone was working together, music was playing – probably opera – and when we sat to eat, there was lots of talking around the crowded dinner table… and a lasagna. One mouthful and I felt I had gone to Heaven!

Although my marriage didn’t last because we were too young, we always stayed friends. Or friendly, depending on the year. Lucky for me, my relationship with my in-laws DID last, for more than 40 years. When I think of Christmas dinners, it’s always theirs that comes to mind. Theirs that was the exemplar. From my father-in-law’s delicious French onion soup, to my MIL Dot’s multi-course extravaganza, and finally to her mom, Gram’s pleasure in asking, “Whatsa matter, isn’t it good?” when compliments weren’t immediately forthcoming because our mouths were full of her delicious lasagna.

I am sad that those days are only memories now, and happy that I got to be part of such a family.

This year I am going to make a lasagna for Christmas Eve. I haven’t made one in at least 7 years, since I had to quit eating wheat products. When I learned that Barilla makes good no-boil lasagna noodles that hold their shape, I knew it was time. I have had enough experience with gluten-free cooking that I believe I can make this work.

And yet, I’m a little nervous, doubting myself. For some reason, I feel the weight of all of those delicious memories bearing down on me. Will I get it right? Here’s where the rubber meets the road: all of my years of absorbing their experience and wisdom added to my years of cooking, plus the very best ingredients I can find, will, of course, add up to a wonderful lasagna. My version of lasagna.

What do I have to be nervous about?

I will serve it proudly to my Sweetie, my son, and his Dad – we are all sharing a meal this year, and even if it’s not like the old ways, they will all love it.

Here’s hoping that everything you cook turns out perfectly, and fills both bellies and hearts. And here’s wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy, and love-filled New Year!

Gratefully,
XO Donna

Flowers

MOTHERS of REINVENTION

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After spending the last six months recuperating, my energy is returning and my mind is busy searching for a project. Something to make. Something pretty and shiny. Something to share.

In order to free my mind, first I needed to clean out my closet, yet again and make space for that idea to come to me. I hate clutter.

I realized two things as I sorted through my clothes: first, I have lots of clothes I thought would be great for “retirement,” but I don’t like them anymore. They feel baggy now, and frumpy to me.
And the other thing is that the clothes I want to wear, and add to my closet, seem to be clothes for a lifestyle I don’t have.

Those clothes are more appropriate for a city-slicker on-the-go, than for living in Sun City, Texas.

I made a large donation pile that went to our local Goodwill, and I made a “sell on Poshmark” pile. You can’t recoup your money here, not even close, and not even on clothes that still have their tags on them, or have simply never been worn (why do I do still that?) but it is an excellent way of recycling good clothes and getting a couple of dollars for them.
My last pile is going to the tailors to be taken in and up. That’ll give me more options for now, and I haven’t even dug through winter clothes yet!

My next project was to finally choose a paint color for our bedroom, and maybe our bathroom. And maybe the guest bath, too. Our interior throughout is a lovely golden-tan that changes shades all day with the sunlight. Except in our bedroom – which abuts the screened porch, so it’s always dark-ish. I don’t like golds anyway (not my color) so without the benefit of sunlight, the color looks murky to me, especially in the corners.

I used to love to paint, was tidy and efficient, and became good at it after a professional friend gave me a couple of lessons. But it’s been ten years since I’ve painted a room. My sweetie wanted nothing to do with the project, he thinks the color is fine. It’s obvious we see color differently (men and women do, but that’s another blog). In order to get some visual aids to show him my idea, I bought stick and remove wall paint samples from Sherwin Williams. On their website, go to SAMPLIZE to order 12″ x 12″ squares of the actual paint colors for $6.00 each.

My first choice was a Greige, but it turned out to be the same murky tone as the gold when on the wall. I also ordered Shoji White and Alabaster White, wanting to keep them warm-ish. The clear winner is the Shoji White in an eggshell finish. You can see Agreeable Grey and Shoji White above. Now I really need to get that portrait by my friend Lory framed!

Although he doesn’t want to help paint – and that’s okay – when he sees how much fun I’m having, I’m sure he’ll roll up his sleeves and jump in! I’m not planning to begin painting right away, I’ll wait till the weather is cooler, but I feel like I’ve accomplished something, and now have a pretty and shiny new bedroom to look forward to by finally making a decision.

And last, the idea that finally arrived, and the one I am most excited about… the “something pretty to share” project: I am opening an online shop in ETSY where I will have some of my favorite photographs from the last 25 years available as “Fine Art” archival prints, “Fine Art” archival canvas, some “Fun Art” canvas, and packs of beautiful blank-inside greeting cards just waiting for your words.
For the cards, I’m beginning with a flower series, and have added four images below. I love that shy sunflower. The site will be called “Fairview by Donna O’Klock” and I will let you all know all the details in my next post!

My birthday is in just 16 days, and it’s one I worried I wouldn’t reach… I am glad that I always took good care of myself so that I could now join other women who are in their 70’s, and 60’s, and still chomping at the bit for something new and creative to do, to offer. Reinventing ourselves again.

Love you all, and thank you for reading,
XO Donna

endless summer

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Stevie Wonder’s album, “Hotter Than July” generally describes our Texas weather to a tee! It usually becomes unbearable by now, but it has been a great year for being outdoors, for a change. So, I’m walkin’, yes indeed, I’m walkin!

Mark’s Daily Apple, a health/fitness blog I have been reading for years, had an article on the benefits of having a walking routine. As did CNN, calling it the “most underrated form of exercise.” I gotta admit, I love it when I’m ahead of a trend!

And to make things even better, my youngest sister, Elizabeth, came to visit for eight days! She lives in Wisconsin, and pretty much hates the weather there ten months of the year. All she wanted to do while she was here was go for walks and lie by the swimming pool each day.

So, that’s exactly what we did, sometimes walking twice a day! We also went out riding in our golf cart most evenings – and we were generally able to talk my sweetie into chauffeuring us around.
We saw lots of deer and their still-spotted fawns everywhere. Loved it.

Elizabeth is 14 years younger than I, but of all my sisters, we are the most alike. We both share a love for hair and makeup, healthy foods and fashion. And we both have a warped sense of humor… that certainly goes a long way right now.
Take this photo, for example – I have so few photos of us together, and just when I thought we’d finally have one, she licked me!

I planned a special dinner while she was here, and invited my darling friend Mike for dinner. His new hobby (he’s already mastered being a barista) is mixology. Lucky us! We told him our planned menu and he made us a special cocktail to go with it, the base of which was freshly made watermelon juice, made from a Pecos watermelon! The best of Texas, for sure!

Can you believe I was too busy having fun to take any photos?!?

Elizabeth loves feta cheese more than anyone I know. I’m talking obsessed with feta. And a week or so before her arrival I found a Bon Appétite recipe I had to make for her – a Spinach Feta Tart with an almond-flour crust. Is your mouth watering?

She can’t eat wheat, either, so it was perfect for us, and came out better than we could imagine! Again, no photos. BUT, I will make the tart again and post photos and the recipe. I promise.

Unfortunately, vacations end and she had to return home and go back to work. Still wanting a nice photo of the two of us, I told her to act right. She told me she thinks she always looks awful in photos.
I told her the same thing I’ve said here before – if we think we are going to look awful, it will show.

I coached her a little bit, told my sweetie to give us a count, and lo-and-behold, a great photo to remember our week by!

XO Donna

P.S. – If you haven’t noticed the new button on the right side of your screen yet – the book is a link directly to Amazon where you can purchase Sick and Tired & Sexy! Cheers, y’all.

SLEEPY TIME

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“To sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there’s the rub.” Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

Now that I am finally sleeping blissfully again, I can look back at how elusive sleep was for more than two years. I tried everything in order to get a good night’s sleep, and while nothing worked then, all of those new habits are now paying off splendidly!
Experts call this process Sleep Hygiene; revamping your habits and developing practices to improve sleep.

A good night’s sleep benefits everyone, in every way, from infants to centenarians.

My long-time favorite evening beverage.

This past year I saw lots and lots of people on social media complaining about sleep deprivation. Yes, there was a whole lot to be anxious about, so you can blame some of our collective sleeplessness on that. But a lot of our new behaviors are causing this sleep disruption: being glued to electronic devices at all hours, a lack of fresh air and daily exercise, working in a new environment (at home, in our pajamas, and often from our bed). Any one of these can contribute to sleeplessness, but compounded?

There are many consequences of poor sleep, especially when it occurs repeatedly.

  • Weakened immunity
  • Mood changes
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, and both short and long-term memory loss
  • Weight gain
  • Low sex drive
  • Risk of heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure.

Have you ever dealt with a cranky, frustrated, and over-tire toddler? Lack of sleep creates all of those emotions in us, too. Fortunately, we don’t usually throw a screaming tantrum. Although…

Developing a good night-time routine will help reinforce “Bedtime” in your mind, making it easier for you to sleep..

  • Limit naps and caffeine in the afternoon.
  • Build in a one hour buffer before bedtime to unplug from electronic devices. They cause mental stimulation and produce blue-light which can disrupt sleep. If you like to read at night, read a book, or use the black-screen on your e-reader.
  • Lower your lights to signal your brain that it’s time to relax.
  • If you’ve been working in pajamas all day, change to a different pair for bedtime.
  • Make your evening facial cleansing/moisturizing/tooth brushing routine into a relaxing ritual.
  • Make sure your bedroom is dark, cool enough, and if you need it, add some white noise. I used a small old-fashioned fan that whirred softly, but there are also white noise machines that you can purchase.

Experts say you should make this your Golden Rule: only use your bed for sex and sleeping, but I’m not about to hang-out on the couch when I don’t feel well, so I would include recuperation too.

I used to become anxious each night at bedtime because “I knew” I wasn’t going to fall asleep. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy until I developed a Daytime/Bedtime distinction in my mind. I also learned that if I went to bed and wasn’t asleep in 20 minutes, to get up. Stretch, read a book, sit quietly, or do something else calming, in low light, before trying to fall asleep again.

Do you have any tricks or practices that work for you that you would share? Let me know in the comments below.

We’d all like to be sleeping like a baby.

XO Donna

It’s a Cha-cha

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One, two. One, two, three. Two steps forward… and three steps back.

I was feeling pretty cocky about my new drug because everything was going so well. Yep, you know what’s coming. With two days worth of pills left, I crashed and burned spectacularly. The drug did its job too well – and my platelet count, well, let’s just say I was “running on fumes.” Or, could barely run on fumes.
The good thing about being cared for at an oncology center is that they don’t take things lightly – it’s not, “oh, we can fit you in later in the month.” It’s, “Come in now. Labs first. Next, you’re going to go across the street to the hospital get a “cross & type” done, because we made an appointment for you to get a platelet infusion tomorrow morning at 10:00 am.”

Not what I was expecting, but friends who have gone through cancer treatment told me it happens, that they’d been through it.

Afterward, we drove 50 miles home in rush-hour traffic, in the dark and the rain, the first we’ve had in a while. It was a spectacular electrical storm, lightning rending the sky, the white bolts temporarily turning everything violet. It was a great distraction, as were the muffins we ate as we drove. Crumbs everywhere… but that wasn’t important for a change. Crumbs can be vacuumed.

There is a wonderful upscale grocery market just blocks from the hospital, and I love going there when I’m in that part of town, which is rare these days. Their bakery is fantastic. Their deli is expansive. Everything is mouth-watering. If there is a Heaven, surely it will be a place like this!
Before heading home, we had stopped there and bought coffee and muffins for the road. Dinner. My fave is a Lemon Poppyseed, which isn’t gluten-free, but under the circumstances…

I was back at the oncologist for bloodwork early the next morning, and I did have to get that infusion of platelets. Wasn’t horrible. (I’m lying, it was. Brave face.) But, it was all finished in two hours. I spent the weekend binge-watching Netflix, and I finished the book, “Olga Dies Dreaming,” by Xochitl Gonzalez.
I always enjoy her articles in The Atlantic but cannot remember who recommended her book to me. “Set in NYC in the months surrounding the most devastating hurricane in Puerto Rico’s history, Olga Dies Dreaming examines political corruption, familial strife, and the very notion of the American Dream.” For having been written four years ago, it features a bigoted, corrupt, imbecilic President – and cast of supporting political characters who all seem quite familiar. I wasn’t sure about Olga herself, in the beginning, but I ended up loving both her and the book!

I have to be back at the hospital today for a blood transfusion. While ,y platelets are going up, but for some reason my hemoglobin is almost non-existent. Luckily, it’s fixable. I asked if there was a place I could do this closer to home, and there is. I know that my chauffeur probably appreciates this as much as I do. We went yesterday and I had my blood cross & typed again – and this time the room had windows, it was warm, and the nurse who will be caring for me was as gentle as kitten. This is going to be a much better experience.

Needless to say, there’s no way I’m cooking a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I’ve let that go. Although it seems like it’s all about the meal, what’s on the table isn’t important. It’s who is around my table; the people that I get to love are what I’m so thankful for!

You know how much I appreciate you all for being here. Have a delightful Thanksgiving tomorrow!
(Have non-traditional plans? Not making a turkey? Cooking for 20? Tell me what you’re doing, I’d love to hear all about it!)

XO Donna

Good Things

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Oh, gosh, I’ve been thinking of changing the name of my blog… or something.

The renewal for both my domain name (Sexy Past 60) and for WordPress – they host my blog – have come due and I seriously thought about not renewing either of them. I’m way past 60. And not feeling very sexy, and I haven’t written anything in months. Why not drop them and save the worry, and a couple hundred dollars?
Upon discussion with my sweetie, he convinced me to keep it another year and see what happens. I might feel like writing again soon. Inspiration could strike…

To use a British expression, I feel that I’ve “been made redundant.” I no longer need to give advice on hair, makeup, or clothing styles because it can easily be found anywhere these days with a quick computer search. There’s even technology where you can try-on a haircut, makeup, and even clothing before you buy them. Online, of course. But really, that is only part of the reason I haven’t been writing.

The truth is, I haven’t been writing because I’ve had a spectacularly lousy last couple of months.

Define lousy, you say. I had 4 emergency room visits to two different hospitals, another “stroke-like” event which turned out not to be a stroke, and a 5-day hospital stay… all in one month.
I’m on a first name basis with a couple of E.R. docs and nurses now. I’ve been CT’d, MRI’d, radio-activated, stress-tested and spinal tapped.

And that was before I went to MD Anderson Cancer in Houston for a week.


In my book, Sick and Tired & Sexy… Living Beautifully with Chronic Illness, I focused on the auto-immune illnesses I live with, since so many other women have them, too. What was helping me would probably help them also.

I didn’t include the rare bone-marrow disorder I’ve had since 1998. My body produces way too many platelets – the opposite of Leukemia. I’ve been on meds that have kept it well-controlled forever. It was just something humming in the background which would occasionally remind me of its presence with an astonishingly psychedelic migraine.

Suddenly, it was not under control and causing me a lot of seemingly unrelated problems.

By going to MD Anderson, I have an updated diagnosis, and a brand new treatment plan going forward. It’s a week, today, since I started a new drug, Jakafi, and other than feeling a bit dizzy, I’m doing very well. Better living through modern chemistry, indeed!

Two other good things that have made my life much better have been mail-order subscription services.

The first is with Brodo, which means “broth” in Italian. It’s delicious bone-broth which is low-sodium and high-flavor. It has as much protein as an egg in each one-cup serving. And look at the cute cups they sent me as a gift with my second order!
I struggle to get enough protein since I dislike eggs in the morning, and I can’t eat dairy products. A cup of steamy broth and a gluten-free goodie works just fine for me. I order both individual serving packs in my fave flavor (Tuscan Sun) and a few bigger (3-cup) packages to use a base for other meals. It’s been a game-changer for me to have them in my pantry.

* I am not receiving compensation of any kind for sharing these great products. They’ve become staples, and I am just passing along the deliciousness.

The other subscription is to Wildgrain – a bakery service where I can order gluten-free sourdough breads, delicious “Everything” bagels (my favorites) below, and other goodies that make my wheat-free, dairy-free, low-sodium life much easier. With cold weather on its way, I’m all set. Soup!

Doesn’t that bagel look delish? It’s a bit less chewy than a wheat flour bagel, but it’s certainly a tasty substitute. I’ve even found a non-dairy cream cheese by Kite Hill that has a creamy texture and a tangy flavor. I’m thrilled!

And I have more good things to look forward to: Halloween and Dia de Los Muertos are both this week. They are my favorite holidays! I need to pick up some pumpkins today and put them in the yard with my black cat cut-outs. We love to decorate, even though we don’t have trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood, sadly.

The other good thing is my birthday, next week. I usually don’t make a fuss over it, but this year I’m going to. I’m going to be 74… and I’m very grateful to be here to celebrate it!

I’m going to buy myself some new baking pans and cookie sheets at Sur la Table. (Since I’m still studying French, I now know that means “on the table.”) Which I where I’m going to park a small decadent chocolate cake that I’m making for myself.

Pictures in the next post, promise.

Wishing you all good things, thanks for being here!
XO. Donna

Busy, Busy

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A dear friend, Joanie, has moved to Sun City! And in a happy coincidence, in a town of approximately 17K people… she has moved walking distance from me. We met 30-ish years ago in a Nia White-Belt training; she went on to become a wonderful teacher and will hopefully teach classes here in Sun City and in Georgetown. It turned out I that have stage-fright, so teaching was not for me.

Yesterday Joanie and I went to an exquisite yoga studio downtown for a 75 minute Yin (restorative) yoga class with sound meditation at the end. I was so excited to “be getting my airy-fairy on,” it’s been years! Both the class and the studio far exceeded any expectations I might have had.
The sounds were singing bowls – so soothing – during our long poses. And at the very end, during the “corpse pose,” everyone’s favorite, where you lie still on your back and integrate the work you’ve done, they played a vibration for 10 minutes or so. When I came home, I did my homework; it is one of many frequencies known to have healing effects on the nervous system and the body. These vibrations are measured in Hertz, and 174 Hz has been found to have the potential to alleviate stress and pain, improve focus, and give the organs a sense of security.

For the first time in years I felt at ease, as if I were floating. Unbound. Unburdened.

I’m still feeling more relaxed than “normal” today. I’m scheduling that class into my schedule. That ease even made my workout with my trainer easier. Weight-training is so important as we get older for bone density and strength. My watering can weighs 16 lbs when I fill it, and I can carry it again to water the garden I’m trying to grow. My green thumb seems to be limited with indoor plants, where I can grow anything. Outdoors, all bets are off. I keep starting over. And over.

Speaking of… I have three books on my nightstand that I just can’t stay focused on. I start, read 15-20 pages and put it down. On to one of the others, same thing. I seem to have the attention span of a gnat. Is this inability to focus an age-thing? Any of you having the same problem?
Or is your Mom?

So, I bought another book. Of course. The title is simply Long Island. Since I’m from there, how could I not delve a little deeper? It’s one of Oprah’s book club picks, which aren’t usually my cup of tea, but the female protagonist has a man come to her door one day, asking for her by name, and tells her that his wife is pregnant by her husband, and when the baby is born he will deposit it on her doorstep. The novel is about what she does with this news, and what she refuses to do.

My youngest sister, Elizabeth (you remember her) and I have started reading it. I will give you a book report next time. And maybe this will break my lack of focus and I’ll get into the others.

One last thing, a health alert. I was really shocked to read this, so I’m passing it along, please do the same.
AZO and Uristat are brand names for the drug phenazopiridine, long used to treat symptoms of urinary tract infections. Both are available in any drugstore or pharmacy aisle in the grocers. I’ve used it a few times while waiting to reach my doctor. And, of course I assumed it was safe.

It is not FDA approved, and twenty years ago the FDA raised questions about its potential to cause cancer.

It works by numbing the urinary tract, but that can mask serious infections requiring medical attention and antibiotics. Sadly, most doctors are unaware of this drugs potential for harm. If you do use it, it should only be used for two days as you call your doctor for treatment.
If taken for too long it can slow breathing, and lead to death. A 1978 National Cancer study showed it caused tumors in lab rats and mice, and the National Toxicology Program said “it is reasonably anticipated to be a human carcinogen.”

The article I read was from BLOOMBERG: “The Potential Cancer Health Risks Lurking in One Popular OTC Drug,” by Anna Edney May 19, 2025

Thank you for reading my posts – always makes me happy to know you’re “out there.”

XO Donna

Show & Tell

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I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking; “I really need to quit reading ALL of the news.” There has always been a part of me that believes that if I completely understand something , then I will have some control over it… but, no matter how much I read, or analyze, I cannot understand . It is incomprehensible.

What I am searching for now, is the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change.

I usually post earlier in the week, but this week disappeared, taken up by trying to schedule a series of MRIs for my son. You’d think it would be a simple phone call, wouldn’t you? And for someone with good health insurance, and no special needs, it would be – but to make this appointment required coordination between his nursing home, his insurance, the imaging schedulers, two different hospitals, an anesthesiology department… and me. Nine days and sixteen phone calls later, Mission Impossible turned into mission accomplished!
To celebrate, I baked myself a delicious gluten-free/non-dairy sour cream coffee cake. And I gotta tell you, it was delicious!

I wasn’t sure whether or not the non-dairy yogurt I eat (which has the texture and tang of sour cream) would work, but it did, and deliciously so. I’ve made two, in as many weeks, and I know that it’s a keeper. Speaking of non-dairy yogurt, they have improved to the point where they are actually tasty. The one I buy has 12g of protein in a serving… and it’s the store’s brand. If you have trouble with dairy, products, do a bit of exploring. I was pleasantly surprised.

In between all the calls, and waiting for return calls, I decided that our entryway needed some sprucing up, something we’ve talked about for years. When we were in Costco they had beautiful ceramic pots on sale. Front porch worthy pots. We hauled one home, then went to the garden center and bought a Hibiscus that should thrive in the bright morning sun and indirect afternoon light. Her tag says she’s a Cecilia Hibiscus, with red double blooms. So, she came with her own name… and now when I water her I can’t help but sing the Simon and Garfunkle lyrics; “Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart, you’re shaking my confidence daily…oh Cecilia, I’m down on my knees, I’m begging you please to come home, come on home.” She seems at home in her new space, don’t you think?

I know… the tag’s showing on my cushion. Blame the bad prop stylist. I also bought a Star Jasmine which has been planted under the kitchen windows, but since that bed is still a work-in-progress I will take some photos after I get it in order. I came home from the grocery store with an Oregano plant the other day. I’m going to put it in a side bed where I tried to grow Basil for the last three years – it was like hitting my head against a wall – the soil wasn’t appropriate and the sun was too intense. The Oregano should do well next to the Rosemary and Thyme. (Another Simon and Garfunkle song in there.)

I’m focusing on bright spots where I can find them, or make them. And that leads me to my appointment this afternoon – two weeks ago I had my nails done. My illness, perhaps my restrictive diet, and certainly my meds had taken a toll on my nails. And I hadn’t taken care of my cuticles in a while. I’m embarrassed to show you, but I felt like I was hanging on by a thread for a while. Have you ever just had a spell where you were over it all? What did you do?

I chose to do this frivolous thing for myself, and asked one of the women I play Canasta with -she had a particularly well-done American manicure (a french manicure has white tips, an American is more subtle, creamy) – where she got her nails done, then booked an appointment there.
Helen, the owner of the salon, did a wonderful job; she was gentle and very efficient, and has a good eye. All qualities I really appreciate. I loved the results!

The new nails have necessitated gardening gloves, which also feels nurturing… another small layer of self-care.
So although everything else is mostly beyond my control, I am grateful for these small things. For the lovely vignettes I have made, for the fact that I have creative outlets, and because you are all here.

Please take good care of yourselves, okay?

XO Donna

One More Thing

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4 minute read


What’s your weather like? We’ve had spring, jumped forward to full-on summer for a few days, then fell back to winter. Now it’s spring again. You’ve just gotta love Texas for its weather.

We have been playing with the idea of planting a veggie garden. And planting a tree. And whether or not to take out a large portion of our back yard and add a simple rock “solution” there, which would mean much less lawn-mowing/weed-eating for my sweetie, while adding visual interest.

I think we both still expect to have tons of energy to accomplish things, but we’re finding that we don’t. We discuss, decide, and then lollygag… and nothing gets done.

I think that the political strife is getting to my sweetie. I’m better at ranting, then letting it go. Every day brings something new to freak out about, if you let it get to you. I’m striving to keep my wits about me. I’m also trying to make arrangements for my son to have a series of MRI’s done.
For those of us with good insurance, it’s simple to schedule these kinds of procedures… for those without, it is a Möbius loop of authorizations, denials, un-returned phone calls, and a scheduling nightmare. I know I will eventually accomplish this for him, but I wonder how someone without an advocate would ever get their needs met.

On the positive side, we’ve developed a strategy for decision-making; we ask if what we think we want to do is “going to be one more thing to take care of.”

That question has put the kibosh on lots of ideas because our summers are overwhelmingly hot and neither of us wants to deal with garden maintenance in that kid of heat. So, we ruled out a veggie garden.
It’s also why, despite many, many convos about getting a pet (I’d love another cat) we don’t get one. We are well aware of everything that being a good pet parent requires, and neither of us is willing to do that again. Especially at an age where our pet could conceivably outlive us.

At this point in my life, I don’t think I could even give a goldfish what it needs!

I’ve got two Purple Fountain Grass plants waiting to go in the ground. And a couple of shrubs that need pruning back because it’s starting to look like the Addams Family mansion around here, and today is a good day, I had 10 hours of sleep last night.

Success! The grasses are in the ground, and two of the three shrubs are scaled back. It would be so much easier to keep everything box shaped, but, of course I want them to be round green balls. I brought my hairdressing skills to this task (I was imagining channeling Edward Scissorhands as I plodded along with my clippers) but overall, it looks great.

When I peruse Pinterest… I always admire the topiary gardens. Plants spaced as evenly as pieces on a chessboard. And a pebble pathway through it all.
Upon moving in, I tore out the old overgrown garden that ran along the back of the house, under the kitchen windows. We tried putting flowers and plants in a wild cottage garden style. We both hated it. The next year I strived for more order, but a plant I grew for the butterflies took over – invasive, leggy, stretching for the sun, and stinky! I’ve been pulling that out this year. I assume most gardeners go through this trial-and-error when they plant gardens for themselves, right?
I know what I don’t like, and I am learning from what has failed so far… at some point I hope I’ll come up with something I love.

Sounds a bit like life; our garden setting parameters and guiding us, showing us (and others) a little something about who we are inside.

I am determined. I will figure this out. I’ve done it before at the house we remodeled. I tore out a hedge of holly with its prickly leaves from around the pool, and planted a tropical garden (in luscious soil that held moisture) unlike this dry, rocky fill our new house is built on. Maybe this needs to be more of a desert garden? Okay, I’m headed back to Pinterest for ideas on Arizona/desert style…

I’ll have some great books to share with you next time, and maybe photos of a finished garden. If you have any favorite plants that you know would work, please share. I’d love your input!

XO Donna

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once

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“I’d like to be an ostrich… and stick my head in the sand for a day. Or, maybe a week, you know. Ignore everything and it will all go away. Oh, how I wish that were so!”

To balance the tsunami of information, misinformation, and bad news – I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts, watching British murder mysteries, rom-coms, and new series on TV.

One that I particularly enjoyed was “With Love, Meghan,” The Duchess of Sussex’s new series on Netflix. She is doing a lifestyle show: she invites people she admires (Alice Waters!) to cook with her. She has girlfriends come visit for beautiful lunches. She invited a local chef to teach her a dish and they bonded over their love of spicy foods, and for the end of the series she threw a beautiful brunch for friends and family, including Prince Harry and her Mom.

The show is filmed in a rented kitchen studio down the street from her personal home. (I respect her decision not to bring a full TV crew into her home and disrupt her children’s life, and who would want people gawking at your personal possessions?) Some scenes do show her incredible gardens, her view of the mountains, and her chickens and beehives.

There’s a lot of jealousy, poor reviews and online-vitriol being thrown Meghan’s way, and I hope she doesn’t take any of it to heart. She’s good at what she does; joyful and at ease. And I like the way she included her crew and staff in the show.

I remember when Martha Stewart first became successful, there was a lot of criticism by people who didn’t want to emulate her. She became the brunt of many jokes and SNL skits for “being perfect,” and an anti-Martha Stewart movement evolved. I bought my first Martha Stewart cookbook in 1983, and I’ve been a fan ever since. I saw her “eye for detail” as aspirational, and was very happy for her comeback after her (unfair) prison stint.

I think Meghan is this generation’s Martha. And to her critics, I say, “haters gonna hate. Those who can’t do, criticize.” With the internet, for better or worse, anyone can have a voice. I was surprised at how at-ease and adept Meaghan is at so many things. Maybe, because I’m older, I appreciate and respect the fact that she wants to work when she certainly doesn’t have to. And she throws her heart into what she’s doing… Give it a watch, admire the view.

“Isn’t the whole point of getting older to be kinder and better to other women?”

Chelsea Handler

I found a new personal-trainer last week. I’d been going to the gym less and less because I felt horrible each time I worked out. Turns out it’s an “exercise-induced inflammatory response.” In the 36 hours after working out my muscles and joints would hurt more and more until I didn’t want to move at all. If you have an autoimmune disorder, or arthritis, and notice this is happening, know that it’s not in your head, and can be addressed.

I overheard Jill, my trainer, talking to a client and approached her when she’d finished. She has lots of experience with auto-immune disorders and this type of inflammatory-response. We started simply, with my joints, to built range and strength. My shoulders haven’t felt so relaxed afterwards in I-don’t-know-how-long. It’s easy to get back on track when exercising doesn’t feel like a slog – and not being in pain is its own motivation. As is liking your teacher. I saw her again this afternoon and enjoyed it even more this time.

Speaking of exercise and getting older, I read this sweet story about Jimmy Carter the other day and wanted to share it with you. “Someone once asked Jimmy Carter how he and his wife stayed so healthy. He said, “When we got married, we made a promise that when we argued, the loser had to run 5 miles…
So for 77 years, I ran 5 miles a day!.” Then someone asked, “So how did Rosalynn stay so healthy?” He said, “She followed me to make sure I actually ran it.”

Don’t you absolutely love that?

Things on the home front are good. My son is doing well, and sends me French movies and music to inspire me to keep studying French. As it happens, I am enjoying it much more than expected. My three sisters all made it through their brutally cold winters up north. And my sweetie just celebrated his 82nd birthday a few weeks ago. I wish I had his energy – he works out with his trainer three times a week, takes care of our yard, garden and trees, and rides his motorcycle every chance he gets! I’ve been baking a lot – now gluten-free and dairy-free. I’ve gotten so good at it that I’m eating it as fast as I cook it, so no photos. Next time!

Please take really good care of yourselves,

XO Donna

TOGETHER

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I really have not had anything to say, nothing earth-shattering to share, and like you, probably, I’m on overload with the glut of info and weirdness coming my way each day.

I hope everything is well for each of you and your families. And I want to wish you a
Happy Valentine’s Day – a day to celebrate Love. Love of all kinds… starting with yourself, and radiating out into the world from there. We’re all in this together.

Thank you for being here. I’m encouraged and grateful for your support! I’ll write soon,

XO Donna

Photo by Gerd Altman

No Resolutions

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New Year’s resolutions have always had a negative connotation to them, at least to me. Something must change… and it’s something that needs discipline, willpower, and maybe a bit of punishment to accomplish.
In reality, the origin of resolution is Latin: resolvere – loosen, release. Let go. I like the shift I feel inside when I think of what I can let go of. It feels doable. What do you think?

There is one thing in particular I want to give up this year… My outrage. I refuse to spend the next four years in a perpetual state of outrage over the politics, oppression, hatred, and unjustness I see.


I going to focus myself on what/where/and how I can help. How can I be a good example? And be of service? We can all do this by looking at what is within our “Sphere of Influence?” Our neighborhood and neighbors. Our family and friends. Our spiritual community. Local charities and foundations that actually help the people they’re supposed to. (You’d be surprised how many charities use the majority of donations on administrative costs and nice salaries.)
I am going to shop locally more often by buying from independently-owned or franchised stores, (Shout-out to Penzey’s Spices ) and independent bookstores. Especially those that let me know they are LGBTQ+ friendly. And I’m going to get a library card.

I felt that 2024 was a particularly hard year for me, both as a woman, and in my personal life. I am not sad to see it in the rear-view mirror. And I look forward to a more stable year doing the things I love, that fill me up, and that are good for me!

I’m going to take a short-story writing class through MasterClass. I was a bit afraid, but it’s time to release the fear and “just do it.” It has been a goal to write articles for magazines and online… or to ghost write for others, and get paid to do so. I love researching and writing.

I’m also learning French now after studying Spanish all through the pandemic. My son and I work on my French lessons together during our visits. He has a facility for languages that is amazing, and a mind like a steel trap!

And I’ve been meeting with a group of women to expand my creativity through art. I tend to be paralyzed when confronted with a blank page and the thought of “messing it up.” But letting that go has turned out to be some of the most relaxing time I spend, other than having my nose buried in a great book. I have begun an art journal and am using pen and watercolor to illustrate diary entries and dreams.

I’m also working on the next level of gluten-free baking: raised breads and pastries. Another thing I was afraid I couldn’t do… but I’m ready to tackle that now because “cheating” – eating some bread here, and some cheese there, is leaving me feeling worse than ever.
Or maybe it’s because of that last birthday? LOL.

If you want to view my fave website for all things delish and gluten-free go here: The Loopy Whisk.

So, seven days into the new year, I wish you everything wonderful: self-care and good health, success at new things, great companionship, and lots of good books!

Oh, the one I’m reading right now is called, “The Hypocrite” by Jo Hamya. It’s on lots of Must Read lists, and I’m engrossed. But the afternoon has flown by and it’s time to prepare dinner right now, so my book will have to wait!

Here’s to 2025, and to all of you. Merci beaucoup!
XO Donna

T’was the Night Before

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I’ve tried to keep things simple, but it’s 4:15 a.m. Monday morning and I’m a bit stressed-out as I iron-out my menu for Christmas Eve dinner, tomorrow. I’ve noticed that as I’ve gotten older I tend to stress-out more, rather than less. Is it just me? Tell me it’s not…
Our dear friend Mike (whom you’ve met before) is coming over to shake up some cocktails and celebrate with us. I’ve finally decided on a wonderfully meaty lasagne (Not GF noodles, but I found a perfect sub for all the ricotta) and a Caesar salad. Simple.

Since Christmas and Hanukkah are both on December 25 this year I’m putting an Italian spin on my latkes by using zucchini and potatoes. Topped with vegan sour cream (Kite Hill) and a touch of rosemary they’ll make great appetizers! And to finish everything off, I’m trying out an Eggnog panna cotta. My sweetie loves eggnog… so I thought, Why not? I’ll have to try a bite or two, to make sure it’s good. LOL

I know my omnivore son will love everything – I’m bringing dinner to him and we’ll visit on Christmas Day. He’s doing much better; he’s able to be in his chair comfortably now for a couple of hours. He even visited with his friends away from the nursing home for the first time. Big win in my book!

Lasagne is my son’s paternal family’s tradition. We used to have the most delicious Italian feasts at his grandparents house, food was their love-language. Four generations would gather, and that celebration is sorely missed.
I do my best, but those are by-gone memories we cherish now.
Jason’s Grandmother and Great-grandmother, and their cooking, were the glue that held an extensive network of friends and family together.

Speaking of four generations – Turk’s grandson and his beautiful wife are in town till January 7, and we got to meet our precious great-granddaughter for the first time!
My sweetie is absolutely smitten!
She was born in Korea, where they are stationed. She is such a happy baby, easy-going, always smiling and willing to be held or played with by everyone.

We will be driving to San Antonio on the 27th to honor her baptism into the Catholic faith with her family. And taking time for a little getaway to see the lights along the Riverwalk and visit some favorite places.

Turk found his rosary beads from when he attended church as a child – beautiful faceted stones that look like garnets – and he’s going to pass them along to her. We hope she enjoys them, and appreciates their history one day.

I hope all of your celebrations are merry and bright, and I thank you for spending another year with me. I appreciate it more than you know.

XO Donna

GRATITUDE… in general

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It seems like Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving has just snuck up on me. Last week it was 86 degrees and this morning it’s 41. The leaves are falling, and my sweetie is complaining that no sooner does he get them all raked up… than he has to do it again. I think he takes it personally. So, of course, we will celebrate when the last one has fallen.

I don’t know about you, but I make menus and keep running lists for what I’m preparing for Turkey Day. Even when I’m only doing part of the dinner.
We have family members who, like me, can’t eat wheat or dairy. Or nuts, come to think of it. And a family member who can’t eat eggs. I like to surprise her with a special treat.
And we have a few omnivores who can eat anything, and yet enjoy the GF, egg-free and non-dairy items too, so I make extra. I honestly love the challenge.

How about you? Do you find you are preparing more foods in a non-traditional way each year? What specifically? Please share. 😉

If you’re like me, I’ll bet you’ve started your holiday/Christmas shopping, and I have a book to add to your list.
From a blurb in The Atlantic magazine on perfect gifts: “If, like me, you love museums, love coffee-table books and loathe the systemic erasure of women from the Western culture, then this gift is for you.”

When visiting a museum, Ms. Hessel realized that 83% of the art on the walls was by men… this is her effort to bring women artists into the light. Something that is long overdue and should be fascinating. I’ve ordered mine already! $42.00 on Amazon

Here’s a small, but soul-soothing gift (who couldn’t use that these days?) This candle was on the same “best gifts” list, and what I love about it is the fact that it’s a gender-neutral gift. I dislike all the pumpkin-spicy and peppermint candles that accompany the holiday season. This one is available at Target: Threshold Leather & Embers candle. It is subtly delicious, and the amber glass and wooden lid make it look more expensive than it actually is. At $12.00 each, and under, you can buy a few without breaking the bank.

I can’t remember if this is our 8th or 9th Thanksgiving together – but it means the world to me that you keep reading. I have so much to be grateful for, and you, dear readers, are a very large part of that.
Thank you, and I hope you all have a delicious and Happy Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving!

XO Donna