Show & Tell

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I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking; “I really need to quit reading ALL of the news.” There has always been a part of me that believes that if I completely understand something , then I will have some control over it… but, no matter how much I read, or analyze, I cannot understand . It is incomprehensible.

What I am searching for now, is the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change.

I usually post earlier in the week, but this week disappeared, taken up by trying to schedule a series of MRIs for my son. You’d think it would be a simple phone call, wouldn’t you? And for someone with good health insurance, and no special needs, it would be – but to make this appointment required coordination between his nursing home, his insurance, the imaging schedulers, two different hospitals, an anesthesiology department… and me. Nine days and sixteen phone calls later, Mission Impossible turned into mission accomplished!
To celebrate, I baked myself a delicious gluten-free/non-dairy sour cream coffee cake. And I gotta tell you, it was delicious!

I wasn’t sure whether or not the non-dairy yogurt I eat (which has the texture and tang of sour cream) would work, but it did, and deliciously so. I’ve made two, in as many weeks, and I know that it’s a keeper. Speaking of non-dairy yogurt, they have improved to the point where they are actually tasty. The one I buy has 12g of protein in a serving… and it’s the store’s brand. If you have trouble with dairy, products, do a bit of exploring. I was pleasantly surprised.

In between all the calls, and waiting for return calls, I decided that our entryway needed some sprucing up, something we’ve talked about for years. When we were in Costco they had beautiful ceramic pots on sale. Front porch worthy pots. We hauled one home, then went to the garden center and bought a Hibiscus that should thrive in the bright morning sun and indirect afternoon light. Her tag says she’s a Cecilia Hibiscus, with red double blooms. So, she came with her own name… and now when I water her I can’t help but sing the Simon and Garfunkle lyrics; “Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart, you’re shaking my confidence daily…oh Cecilia, I’m down on my knees, I’m begging you please to come home, come on home.” She seems at home in her new space, don’t you think?

I know… the tag’s showing on my cushion. Blame the bad prop stylist. I also bought a Star Jasmine which has been planted under the kitchen windows, but since that bed is still a work-in-progress I will take some photos after I get it in order. I came home from the grocery store with an Oregano plant the other day. I’m going to put it in a side bed where I tried to grow Basil for the last three years – it was like hitting my head against a wall – the soil wasn’t appropriate and the sun was too intense. The Oregano should do well next to the Rosemary and Thyme. (Another Simon and Garfunkle song in there.)

I’m focusing on bright spots where I can find them, or make them. And that leads me to my appointment this afternoon – two weeks ago I had my nails done. My illness, perhaps my restrictive diet, and certainly my meds had taken a toll on my nails. And I hadn’t taken care of my cuticles in a while. I’m embarrassed to show you, but I felt like I was hanging on by a thread for a while. Have you ever just had a spell where you were over it all? What did you do?

I chose to do this frivolous thing for myself, and asked one of the women I play Canasta with -she had a particularly well-done American manicure (a french manicure has white tips, an American is more subtle, creamy) – where she got her nails done, then booked an appointment there.
Helen, the owner of the salon, did a wonderful job; she was gentle and very efficient, and has a good eye. All qualities I really appreciate. I loved the results!

The new nails have necessitated gardening gloves, which also feels nurturing… another small layer of self-care.
So although everything else is mostly beyond my control, I am grateful for these small things. For the lovely vignettes I have made, for the fact that I have creative outlets, and because you are all here.

Please take good care of yourselves, okay?

XO Donna

No Resolutions

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New Year’s resolutions have always had a negative connotation to them, at least to me. Something must change… and it’s something that needs discipline, willpower, and maybe a bit of punishment to accomplish.
In reality, the origin of resolution is Latin: resolvere – loosen, release. Let go. I like the shift I feel inside when I think of what I can let go of. It feels doable. What do you think?

There is one thing in particular I want to give up this year… My outrage. I refuse to spend the next four years in a perpetual state of outrage over the politics, oppression, hatred, and unjustness I see.


I going to focus myself on what/where/and how I can help. How can I be a good example? And be of service? We can all do this by looking at what is within our “Sphere of Influence?” Our neighborhood and neighbors. Our family and friends. Our spiritual community. Local charities and foundations that actually help the people they’re supposed to. (You’d be surprised how many charities use the majority of donations on administrative costs and nice salaries.)
I am going to shop locally more often by buying from independently-owned or franchised stores, (Shout-out to Penzey’s Spices ) and independent bookstores. Especially those that let me know they are LGBTQ+ friendly. And I’m going to get a library card.

I felt that 2024 was a particularly hard year for me, both as a woman, and in my personal life. I am not sad to see it in the rear-view mirror. And I look forward to a more stable year doing the things I love, that fill me up, and that are good for me!

I’m going to take a short-story writing class through MasterClass. I was a bit afraid, but it’s time to release the fear and “just do it.” It has been a goal to write articles for magazines and online… or to ghost write for others, and get paid to do so. I love researching and writing.

I’m also learning French now after studying Spanish all through the pandemic. My son and I work on my French lessons together during our visits. He has a facility for languages that is amazing, and a mind like a steel trap!

And I’ve been meeting with a group of women to expand my creativity through art. I tend to be paralyzed when confronted with a blank page and the thought of “messing it up.” But letting that go has turned out to be some of the most relaxing time I spend, other than having my nose buried in a great book. I have begun an art journal and am using pen and watercolor to illustrate diary entries and dreams.

I’m also working on the next level of gluten-free baking: raised breads and pastries. Another thing I was afraid I couldn’t do… but I’m ready to tackle that now because “cheating” – eating some bread here, and some cheese there, is leaving me feeling worse than ever.
Or maybe it’s because of that last birthday? LOL.

If you want to view my fave website for all things delish and gluten-free go here: The Loopy Whisk.

So, seven days into the new year, I wish you everything wonderful: self-care and good health, success at new things, great companionship, and lots of good books!

Oh, the one I’m reading right now is called, “The Hypocrite” by Jo Hamya. It’s on lots of Must Read lists, and I’m engrossed. But the afternoon has flown by and it’s time to prepare dinner right now, so my book will have to wait!

Here’s to 2025, and to all of you. Merci beaucoup!
XO Donna

Running On Empty

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I just read an article that got my knickers all in a twist.  It’s entitled, “19 Hard Things You Need To Do To Be Successful,” by a gentleman named Dame Luthas.  Most are right on, but I take issue with the five below, that are just plain wrong!  (In my humble opinion, of course). 

Why is this worth writing about?  Because, in their quest to reinvent themselves, or excel at their job, or succeed at a new career, or be a great mother, women are often too tolerant, and way too accepting. We have generally been raised to be “nice.”  When we do stand up for ourselves, we might find people telling us that we’re selfish.  That’s a manipulation, and one that we as women need to get beyond. 

 A woman who is strong enough to be generous, knows what she wants and where she’s going,  AND takes care of herself FIRST, IN ORDER to take care of others…is pretty damned sexy!

Without any further ado – the excerpts from the article and my response:

  1. You have to care more about others more than they care about you.   (DO- You just have to care about what you’re doing, a lot.  Leave “the others” out of it.)
  2. You have to look like a fool while you’re looking for answers you don’t have.  (DO –  Baloney…a fool is the person who doesn’t search for the answer.)
  3. You have to make mistakes and look like an idiot.  (DO – The author seems to have some issues with looking bad.  Making mistakes makes you look like someone who is trying to succeed!)
  4. You have to be accountable for your actions even when things go wrong.  (DO – Even?  Try always.)
  5. You have to be kind to people who have been cruel to you.  (DO – Bullsh*t!  Don’t ever let anyone be cruel to you for any reason. You deserve better.  Actually – you deserve the very best!royalty-free-vector-logo-of-a-retro-pink-fuel-pump-by-patrimonio-743)

You can have big goals, be clear about how you allow people to treat you, and prioritize your own needs…and not be a bitch.  Trust that. Putting yourself first, in order to take care of others is the only sane choice. What will you have to give, and how will you succeed at anything, when you’re running on empty? 

XO Donna