Good Things

19 Comments

Oh, gosh, I’ve been thinking of changing the name of my blog… or something.

The renewal for both my domain name (Sexy Past 60) and for WordPress – they host my blog – have come due and I seriously thought about not renewing either of them. I’m way past 60. And not feeling very sexy, and I haven’t written anything in months. Why not drop them and save the worry, and a couple hundred dollars?
Upon discussion with my sweetie, he convinced me to keep it another year and see what happens. I might feel like writing again soon. Inspiration could strike…

To use a British expression, I feel that I’ve “been made redundant.” I no longer need to give advice on hair, makeup, or clothing styles because it can easily be found anywhere these days with a quick computer search. There’s even technology where you can try-on a haircut, makeup, and even clothing before you buy them. Online, of course. But really, that is only part of the reason I haven’t been writing.

The truth is, I haven’t been writing because I’ve had a spectacularly lousy last couple of months.

Define lousy, you say. I had 4 emergency room visits to two different hospitals, another “stroke-like” event which turned out not to be a stroke, and a 5-day hospital stay… all in one month.
I’m on a first name basis with a couple of E.R. docs and nurses now. I’ve been CT’d, MRI’d, radio-activated, stress-tested and spinal tapped.

And that was before I went to MD Anderson Cancer in Houston for a week.


In my book, Sick and Tired & Sexy… Living Beautifully with Chronic Illness, I focused on the auto-immune illnesses I live with, since so many other women have them, too. What was helping me would probably help them also.

I didn’t include the rare bone-marrow disorder I’ve had since 1998. My body produces way too many platelets – the opposite of Leukemia. I’ve been on meds that have kept it well-controlled forever. It was just something humming in the background which would occasionally remind me of its presence with an astonishingly psychedelic migraine.

Suddenly, it was not under control and causing me a lot of seemingly unrelated problems.

By going to MD Anderson, I have an updated diagnosis, and a brand new treatment plan going forward. It’s a week, today, since I started a new drug, Jakafi, and other than feeling a bit dizzy, I’m doing very well. Better living through modern chemistry, indeed!

Two other good things that have made my life much better have been mail-order subscription services.

The first is with Brodo, which means “broth” in Italian. It’s delicious bone-broth which is low-sodium and high-flavor. It has as much protein as an egg in each one-cup serving. And look at the cute cups they sent me as a gift with my second order!
I struggle to get enough protein since I dislike eggs in the morning, and I can’t eat dairy products. A cup of steamy broth and a gluten-free goodie works just fine for me. I order both individual serving packs in my fave flavor (Tuscan Sun) and a few bigger (3-cup) packages to use a base for other meals. It’s been a game-changer for me to have them in my pantry.

* I am not receiving compensation of any kind for sharing these great products. They’ve become staples, and I am just passing along the deliciousness.

The other subscription is to Wildgrain – a bakery service where I can order gluten-free sourdough breads, delicious “Everything” bagels (my favorites) below, and other goodies that make my wheat-free, dairy-free, low-sodium life much easier. With cold weather on its way, I’m all set. Soup!

Doesn’t that bagel look delish? It’s a bit less chewy than a wheat flour bagel, but it’s certainly a tasty substitute. I’ve even found a non-dairy cream cheese by Kite Hill that has a creamy texture and a tangy flavor. I’m thrilled!

And I have more good things to look forward to: Halloween and Dia de Los Muertos are both this week. They are my favorite holidays! I need to pick up some pumpkins today and put them in the yard with my black cat cut-outs. We love to decorate, even though we don’t have trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood, sadly.

The other good thing is my birthday, next week. I usually don’t make a fuss over it, but this year I’m going to. I’m going to be 74… and I’m very grateful to be here to celebrate it!

I’m going to buy myself some new baking pans and cookie sheets at Sur la Table. (Since I’m still studying French, I now know that means “on the table.”) Which I where I’m going to park a small decadent chocolate cake that I’m making for myself.

Pictures in the next post, promise.

Wishing you all good things, thanks for being here!
XO. Donna

Broken Hearted

13 Comments

In my last post I was heading off “into the sunset to rest and relax after getting my son comfortably settled in a nursing home.”

Except, it seems that I put a bow on all of that too soon, and I have been hesitant to talk about everything that happened next, not wanting you to feel sorry for me, or to put our connection at risk by oversharing.

The pressure didn’t let up: the nursing home wasn’t up to speed in dealing with a young person with advanced MS. It took a couple of months, and my constant complaining, to get things under control. This, combined with Jason’s anguish, led to many middle-of-the-night phone calls, and almost daily two-hour-round-trip drives. His friends were there for support, but I found myself always waiting for the other shoe to drop because, ultimately, as his Mom, the onus is on me.

On Easter Sunday we went to visit Jason, then on to dinner with Turk’s family. I felt exhausted and uncomfortable, but it was nice to socialize and relax a little. Unfortunately, my discomfort worsened over the next few days. I thought I was having indigestion-from-hell. I lost my appetite, and I couldn’t sleep unless I was sitting up on the sofa. When my abdomen became swollen, I realized this was beyond stress and indigestion… Turk took me to the ER on April 5th.

The ER cardiologist scooted up to me on a stool, leaned forward and said, “Do you know you’re in congestive heart failure?”

I’m assuming it was a rhetorical question, how would I have know that? “At your last heart exam in November, everything seemed fine, I don’t understand how you got here. What’s been going on?”

Well, you all know the story, but I went through it again with him, and after doing so, we both sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. I added that I felt absolutely broken-hearted. “That’s because you are,” he said. “It’s called takotsubo cardiomyopathy or “broken-heart syndrome.” It’s a real, and fortunately, reversible condition that often mimics a heart attack.

A week in the hospital forced me to rest (as much as one can) and gave the doctors a chance to get a complete picture of what was happening. It also let Jason (and me) see myself as something other than Supermom.
It’s been a difficult adjustment for me since I prided myself on my resilience… maybe too much so. I don’t bounce the way I used to. But, word got out quickly that I was in the hospital and Jason’s friends were all there for him. We got in the habit of a daily check-in where he’s checkin on me, rather than vice-versa.

I slept off-and-on around the clock, someone else cooked all of my meals, and a Nutritionist came to visit and explain my new diet: unfortunately, I’m now on a low-sodium diet. No dairy. No wheat. No alcohol. And now, No salt. Yuck. I’ll figure it out, I love to cook and I love to eat.

The highlight of my stay: I got to see the total eclipse while I was in the hospital!



Turk was visiting, and I was cleared to walk down to the cafeteria with it’s courtyard just outside. We watched as hospital staff went in and out observing the progression of the eclipse. It got so crowded we wondered who was taking care of the patients? When Turk finished his sandwich, we joined everyone outside. Nobody blinked an eye as I stood out there in my flamingo pajamas and slippers!

Solar eclipse viewing

We were in the “path of totality,” and although it had been cloudy, it cleared in time to see everything. It was exciting to share this rare event with everyone around us. Camaraderie. And cheers when it was over… then, back to work. A reminder to me that there is always something beautiful, somewhere, if you’re open to it.

While these last few months have been challenging, mostly I’m doing well. I haven’t had the attention span to read or write, but I have listened to podcasts. “Wiser Than Me,” with Julia Louis-Dreyfus stands out, and “MeSsy,” Christina Applegate’s podcast is great. I’ve watched some good TV series – I loved “Land of Women” (Terra de Mujeres) on Apple TV, starring Eva Longoria as a socialite-on-the-run in Spain. On Netflix, “Unstable” with Rob Lowe and his son is quirky, but fun. And my sisters and I have formed our own book club – we all like murder mysteries – and our first book is “Mindful of Murder,” by Susan Juby. I’ll let you know.

And we bought an air-fryer, after lots of encouragement from my daughter-in-law. I can easily make odor-free, mess-free, grass-fed burgers and turkey-burgers, pork tenderloin and chicken breasts. Roasted veggies are a cinch, too. Clean-up is easy and it doesn’t heat up the kitchen. Good food, fast, for when you’re tired but want to eat well. Add an easy bagged organic salad and voilà!

Unsalted steak-fries.

So, that’s what’s been going on. Of all the things I pictured in my retirement, this was not one of them… but, as my wonderful mother-in-law used to say, “What can you do?” I guess, “The best you can,” is the answer to that.

XO Donna

No Good Deed…

8 Comments

goes unpunished. I know that isn’t the first thing that should come to mind because it’s reinforcing a negative thought. I strive to align my thoughts toward the positive, but when stuff like this happens, and I’m up to my derrière in alligators, it is still my first thought.
Good intentions be damned.

I don’t know which of us found them, but one morning last week when the small kitchen pantry door was opened we were greeted with an infestation of “pantry moths!” I was aghast, and chuckling, thinking “Mothra, Mothra!!” It is an old 60’s monster movie from Japan where a giant moth attacks Tokyo. My pantry is the heartbeat of my house. My Tokyo.

Turk grabbed the vacuum cleaner and vacuumed them off of the ceiling and walls in there. I went through bags of grains, beans, corn meal, etc. that had been opened and threw it all out. I did some rearranging, cleaning as I went and put some opened pastas into big ziploc bags and then we patted ourselves on the back.

That didn’t last long. A couple of days later they were back! And some of the ziplocs had new moths and larvae inside them. Now I was really flipping out! You may know them as flour moths, grain moths or food moths. They multiply rapidly and disgustingly. I found a couple of larvae on the shelf. Where had they come from? I’d thrown out everything that had been opened! This called for a deeper clean.

I got online and read-up on exactly what to do. It turns out that the boxes that were closed are no match for hungry worms – they were inside those, too.

  1. Errybody out!! 2. Check every. single. package. and toss what’s been opened. 3) Clean shelves, walls, baseboards with a bleach & water solution. 4. Let it dry naturally and put everything back, with grains, seeds, nuts, flours in sealed packages.

So where did the little buggers come from? Someone had given my son (who cannot cook because of his disability) a couple bags of black beans and brown rice, which he loves, especially with sour cream and diced green onion on corn tortillas. A perfect vegetarian meal! He in turn gave them to me to cook, portion them out, and bring them to him.

The bad news: those packages were infested! The good news: Because of them, I have a newly organized, and bug-proof pantry.

I always admired a well put-together pantry stocked with real everyday food in all it’s oddly-shaped packages. I did my best, and I’m pleased with the results.

In other news: my Spanish lessons are going great. I can construct paragraphs to read aloud. Speaking spontaneously is still frustrating, I get so tongue-tied! That’s what we work on in my in-person class here. I notice small improvements weekly… I remember listening to a simple story and thinking, “How am I ever going to understand that?” Now, amazingly, I can.
I am continuing with Duolingo, too. I owe all of my progress and vocabulary to daily practice, and it’s fun, although a bit childish, with Duolingo. It’s nice to know I’m increasing the neuroplasticity in my brain.

I also excited about the new exercise facility built just down the street, and it’s pool is beautiful. Unfortunately, it’s right out there in the sun, and who wants to lounge around a pool when it’s 107 degrees? Or go walk in the morning when it’s 82 at 7:00? Sadly we’ve only been in the pool three times, but the treadmill and elliptical have been so much fun! I learned that you get a much better result by raising the incline on the treadmill, and you can even select a “hilly” walk where it raises and lowers itself. I listen to music and look out at the sparkling pool. Soon, pool. Soon.

I also had my fourth session with a personal trainer yesterday. I have always liked lifting weights, and right now they are helping me get/feel stronger. After being ill for so long, off all of my hormones, and having lost so much weight, the machines are giving me a way to regain muscle and stay strong. I don’t want to become fragile like many elderly people do. My balance is great, thanks to years of Nia, and I’m flexible from years of yoga. Building strength through load-bearing exercise builds bone density, so yesterday my trainer and I worked with Kettlebells for the first time and it was a blast! My arms feel “alive” today, as does my butt.

Cropped view of two African-American woman exercising together in a city park on the waterfront. They are wearing long sleeved sports clothing. The woman in the dark pink shirt is a plus size model with a large build. She is in her 30s and her friend is in her 40s. They are lifting kettlebells in unison, in a squatting position.
Woman working out
Close up of unrecognizable athletic woman having sports training with kettle bell.

I very much like tapping into my masculine energy. It’s our take action and get-it-done energy. I noticed that I was feeling too withdrawn, unmotivated and even a little bit helpless, and this is bringing balance to that. Plus, I will be willing to go sleeveless with a bit more definition in my arms.
I’m beginning to feel my inner-strength again. I want to greet my 72nd birthday in eight weeks feeling like myself again!

XO Donna

SLEEPY TIME

2 Comments

“To sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there’s the rub.” Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

Now that I am finally sleeping blissfully again, I can look back at how elusive sleep was for more than two years. I tried everything in order to get a good night’s sleep, and while nothing worked then, all of those new habits are now paying off splendidly!
Experts call this process Sleep Hygiene; revamping your habits and developing practices to improve sleep.

A good night’s sleep benefits everyone, in every way, from infants to centenarians.

My long-time favorite evening beverage.

This past year I saw lots and lots of people on social media complaining about sleep deprivation. Yes, there was a whole lot to be anxious about, so you can blame some of our collective sleeplessness on that. But a lot of our new behaviors are causing this sleep disruption: being glued to electronic devices at all hours, a lack of fresh air and daily exercise, working in a new environment (at home, in our pajamas, and often from our bed). Any one of these can contribute to sleeplessness, but compounded?

There are many consequences of poor sleep, especially when it occurs repeatedly.

  • Weakened immunity
  • Mood changes
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, and both short and long-term memory loss
  • Weight gain
  • Low sex drive
  • Risk of heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure.

Have you ever dealt with a cranky, frustrated, and over-tire toddler? Lack of sleep creates all of those emotions in us, too. Fortunately, we don’t usually throw a screaming tantrum. Although…

Developing a good night-time routine will help reinforce “Bedtime” in your mind, making it easier for you to sleep..

  • Limit naps and caffeine in the afternoon.
  • Build in a one hour buffer before bedtime to unplug from electronic devices. They cause mental stimulation and produce blue-light which can disrupt sleep. If you like to read at night, read a book, or use the black-screen on your e-reader.
  • Lower your lights to signal your brain that it’s time to relax.
  • If you’ve been working in pajamas all day, change to a different pair for bedtime.
  • Make your evening facial cleansing/moisturizing/tooth brushing routine into a relaxing ritual.
  • Make sure your bedroom is dark, cool enough, and if you need it, add some white noise. I used a small old-fashioned fan that whirred softly, but there are also white noise machines that you can purchase.

Experts say you should make this your Golden Rule: only use your bed for sex and sleeping, but I’m not about to hang-out on the couch when I don’t feel well, so I would include recuperation too.

I used to become anxious each night at bedtime because “I knew” I wasn’t going to fall asleep. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy until I developed a Daytime/Bedtime distinction in my mind. I also learned that if I went to bed and wasn’t asleep in 20 minutes, to get up. Stretch, read a book, sit quietly, or do something else calming, in low light, before trying to fall asleep again.

Do you have any tricks or practices that work for you that you would share? Let me know in the comments below.

We’d all like to be sleeping like a baby.

XO Donna

EXTRA! EXTRA!

2 Comments

EXTRA!  EXTRA!  Read all about it!

On Tuesday, I had tea with an intelligent, passionate and delightful young woman –  Lora Tucker Kaasch. We talked and laughed for more than two hours…and that was barely enough time. We even had an interesting young “pick-up artist” join us and share some tips on efficiency!

Lora has RA (rheumatoid arthritis), and after her diagnosis, she was shocked at how few positive support groups existed. Rather than be one of the many people who do nothing about their illness, or view themselves as victims, she took action!

Her intention, and in fact, her accomplishment, is being an everyday outlet of Hope, Courage and Inspiration for people with RA and other auto-immune disorders. I am sure you know someone who can/will benefit from visiting her site.  While RA is more common in my age group, it’s being diagnosed in younger people everyday, even in teenagers!

Yesterday, I was a guest-writer on her blog, and that’s what I want you to “read all about.”

Below is the link to her site, which I encourage you to explore and share, and my post, which is an excerpt from my upcoming book. I am glad to have Lora as a new friend!

http://rheumwarrior.com/2014/02/26/bed-sweet-bed/

XO Donna