It’s a Cha-cha

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One, two. One, two, three. Two steps forward… and three steps back.

I was feeling pretty cocky about my new drug because everything was going so well. Yep, you know what’s coming. With two days worth of pills left, I crashed and burned spectacularly. The drug did its job too well – and my platelet count, well, let’s just say I was “running on fumes.” Or, could barely run on fumes.
The good thing about being cared for at an oncology center is that they don’t take things lightly – it’s not, “oh, we can fit you in later in the month.” It’s, “Come in now. Labs first. Next, you’re going to go across the street to the hospital get a “cross & type” done, because we made an appointment for you to get a platelet infusion tomorrow morning at 10:00 am.”

Not what I was expecting, but friends who have gone through cancer treatment told me it happens, that they’d been through it.

Afterward, we drove 50 miles home in rush-hour traffic, in the dark and the rain, the first we’ve had in a while. It was a spectacular electrical storm, lightning rending the sky, the white bolts temporarily turning everything violet. It was a great distraction, as were the muffins we ate as we drove. Crumbs everywhere… but that wasn’t important for a change. Crumbs can be vacuumed.

There is a wonderful upscale grocery market just blocks from the hospital, and I love going there when I’m in that part of town, which is rare these days. Their bakery is fantastic. Their deli is expansive. Everything is mouth-watering. If there is a Heaven, surely it will be a place like this!
Before heading home, we had stopped there and bought coffee and muffins for the road. Dinner. My fave is a Lemon Poppyseed, which isn’t gluten-free, but under the circumstances…

I was back at the oncologist for bloodwork early the next morning, and I did have to get that infusion of platelets. Wasn’t horrible. (I’m lying, it was. Brave face.) But, it was all finished in two hours. I spent the weekend binge-watching Netflix, and I finished the book, “Olga Dies Dreaming,” by Xochitl Gonzalez.
I always enjoy her articles in The Atlantic but cannot remember who recommended her book to me. “Set in NYC in the months surrounding the most devastating hurricane in Puerto Rico’s history, Olga Dies Dreaming examines political corruption, familial strife, and the very notion of the American Dream.” For having been written four years ago, it features a bigoted, corrupt, imbecilic President – and cast of supporting political characters who all seem quite familiar. I wasn’t sure about Olga herself, in the beginning, but I ended up loving both her and the book!

I have to be back at the hospital today for a blood transfusion. While ,y platelets are going up, but for some reason my hemoglobin is almost non-existent. Luckily, it’s fixable. I asked if there was a place I could do this closer to home, and there is. I know that my chauffeur probably appreciates this as much as I do. We went yesterday and I had my blood cross & typed again – and this time the room had windows, it was warm, and the nurse who will be caring for me was as gentle as kitten. This is going to be a much better experience.

Needless to say, there’s no way I’m cooking a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I’ve let that go. Although it seems like it’s all about the meal, what’s on the table isn’t important. It’s who is around my table; the people that I get to love are what I’m so thankful for!

You know how much I appreciate you all for being here. Have a delightful Thanksgiving tomorrow!
(Have non-traditional plans? Not making a turkey? Cooking for 20? Tell me what you’re doing, I’d love to hear all about it!)

XO Donna

Good Things

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Oh, gosh, I’ve been thinking of changing the name of my blog… or something.

The renewal for both my domain name (Sexy Past 60) and for WordPress – they host my blog – have come due and I seriously thought about not renewing either of them. I’m way past 60. And not feeling very sexy, and I haven’t written anything in months. Why not drop them and save the worry, and a couple hundred dollars?
Upon discussion with my sweetie, he convinced me to keep it another year and see what happens. I might feel like writing again soon. Inspiration could strike…

To use a British expression, I feel that I’ve “been made redundant.” I no longer need to give advice on hair, makeup, or clothing styles because it can easily be found anywhere these days with a quick computer search. There’s even technology where you can try-on a haircut, makeup, and even clothing before you buy them. Online, of course. But really, that is only part of the reason I haven’t been writing.

The truth is, I haven’t been writing because I’ve had a spectacularly lousy last couple of months.

Define lousy, you say. I had 4 emergency room visits to two different hospitals, another “stroke-like” event which turned out not to be a stroke, and a 5-day hospital stay… all in one month.
I’m on a first name basis with a couple of E.R. docs and nurses now. I’ve been CT’d, MRI’d, radio-activated, stress-tested and spinal tapped.

And that was before I went to MD Anderson Cancer in Houston for a week.


In my book, Sick and Tired & Sexy… Living Beautifully with Chronic Illness, I focused on the auto-immune illnesses I live with, since so many other women have them, too. What was helping me would probably help them also.

I didn’t include the rare bone-marrow disorder I’ve had since 1998. My body produces way too many platelets – the opposite of Leukemia. I’ve been on meds that have kept it well-controlled forever. It was just something humming in the background which would occasionally remind me of its presence with an astonishingly psychedelic migraine.

Suddenly, it was not under control and causing me a lot of seemingly unrelated problems.

By going to MD Anderson, I have an updated diagnosis, and a brand new treatment plan going forward. It’s a week, today, since I started a new drug, Jakafi, and other than feeling a bit dizzy, I’m doing very well. Better living through modern chemistry, indeed!

Two other good things that have made my life much better have been mail-order subscription services.

The first is with Brodo, which means “broth” in Italian. It’s delicious bone-broth which is low-sodium and high-flavor. It has as much protein as an egg in each one-cup serving. And look at the cute cups they sent me as a gift with my second order!
I struggle to get enough protein since I dislike eggs in the morning, and I can’t eat dairy products. A cup of steamy broth and a gluten-free goodie works just fine for me. I order both individual serving packs in my fave flavor (Tuscan Sun) and a few bigger (3-cup) packages to use a base for other meals. It’s been a game-changer for me to have them in my pantry.

* I am not receiving compensation of any kind for sharing these great products. They’ve become staples, and I am just passing along the deliciousness.

The other subscription is to Wildgrain – a bakery service where I can order gluten-free sourdough breads, delicious “Everything” bagels (my favorites) below, and other goodies that make my wheat-free, dairy-free, low-sodium life much easier. With cold weather on its way, I’m all set. Soup!

Doesn’t that bagel look delish? It’s a bit less chewy than a wheat flour bagel, but it’s certainly a tasty substitute. I’ve even found a non-dairy cream cheese by Kite Hill that has a creamy texture and a tangy flavor. I’m thrilled!

And I have more good things to look forward to: Halloween and Dia de Los Muertos are both this week. They are my favorite holidays! I need to pick up some pumpkins today and put them in the yard with my black cat cut-outs. We love to decorate, even though we don’t have trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood, sadly.

The other good thing is my birthday, next week. I usually don’t make a fuss over it, but this year I’m going to. I’m going to be 74… and I’m very grateful to be here to celebrate it!

I’m going to buy myself some new baking pans and cookie sheets at Sur la Table. (Since I’m still studying French, I now know that means “on the table.”) Which I where I’m going to park a small decadent chocolate cake that I’m making for myself.

Pictures in the next post, promise.

Wishing you all good things, thanks for being here!
XO. Donna

TOGETHER

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I really have not had anything to say, nothing earth-shattering to share, and like you, probably, I’m on overload with the glut of info and weirdness coming my way each day.

I hope everything is well for each of you and your families. And I want to wish you a
Happy Valentine’s Day – a day to celebrate Love. Love of all kinds… starting with yourself, and radiating out into the world from there. We’re all in this together.

Thank you for being here. I’m encouraged and grateful for your support! I’ll write soon,

XO Donna

Photo by Gerd Altman

GRATITUDE… in general

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It seems like Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving has just snuck up on me. Last week it was 86 degrees and this morning it’s 41. The leaves are falling, and my sweetie is complaining that no sooner does he get them all raked up… than he has to do it again. I think he takes it personally. So, of course, we will celebrate when the last one has fallen.

I don’t know about you, but I make menus and keep running lists for what I’m preparing for Turkey Day. Even when I’m only doing part of the dinner.
We have family members who, like me, can’t eat wheat or dairy. Or nuts, come to think of it. And a family member who can’t eat eggs. I like to surprise her with a special treat.
And we have a few omnivores who can eat anything, and yet enjoy the GF, egg-free and non-dairy items too, so I make extra. I honestly love the challenge.

How about you? Do you find you are preparing more foods in a non-traditional way each year? What specifically? Please share. 😉

If you’re like me, I’ll bet you’ve started your holiday/Christmas shopping, and I have a book to add to your list.
From a blurb in The Atlantic magazine on perfect gifts: “If, like me, you love museums, love coffee-table books and loathe the systemic erasure of women from the Western culture, then this gift is for you.”

When visiting a museum, Ms. Hessel realized that 83% of the art on the walls was by men… this is her effort to bring women artists into the light. Something that is long overdue and should be fascinating. I’ve ordered mine already! $42.00 on Amazon

Here’s a small, but soul-soothing gift (who couldn’t use that these days?) This candle was on the same “best gifts” list, and what I love about it is the fact that it’s a gender-neutral gift. I dislike all the pumpkin-spicy and peppermint candles that accompany the holiday season. This one is available at Target: Threshold Leather & Embers candle. It is subtly delicious, and the amber glass and wooden lid make it look more expensive than it actually is. At $12.00 each, and under, you can buy a few without breaking the bank.

I can’t remember if this is our 8th or 9th Thanksgiving together – but it means the world to me that you keep reading. I have so much to be grateful for, and you, dear readers, are a very large part of that.
Thank you, and I hope you all have a delicious and Happy Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving!

XO Donna

It Takes a Village

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This past weekend was the first time since January 8th that I’ve felt my body physically relax. After operating in fight-or-flight mode for the last 8 weeks it felt good to feel my shoulders drop, my stomach unknot and to be able to breathe deeply again.

My son, Jason, has had MS (multiple sclerosis) since he was 20. Over the years he would have flare-ups, be treated, and recover, and get on with his life. We thought it would go on this way for the rest of his life… but the course of the disease changed and he needed a cane to assist him, then six years ago he needed a wheelchair. The disease had become progressive.

On January 8th his friends called to tell me he was in the hospital. He’d caught a virus, and spent 11 days there, then was sent to a nursing home/ rehab center to get stronger and finish healing. He hated the whole experience, so he left and went home to recover with all of his friends helping him. The problem was that the MS left him confined to his bed this time.

We hired a Home Health Care team to come in 8-12 hour shifts while I looked for another place that would be appropriate for him. He had a village of friends, doctors, and caregivers surrounding him, yet things were still going downhill. It became a race against the clock – and his insurance company – to find the right place for him.

On February 7th we threw a 53rd birthday party for him, and he was able to sit up and visit with his friends, and we all enjoyed his birthday cake: a deliciously moist dark chocolate cake with strawberry filling, pale strawberry buttercream icing, and fresh berries on top. It was a thing of beauty.

Three days later, after a particularly bad night, he was taken to the hospital crying in pain. His friends again called to tell me, and Turk and I headed there to see what was going on. He had developed an infection that injured his kidney. At 10:30 at night they released my heavily- sedated son to us with an explanation of the problem, how they had treated it, a bunch of tubes, bags, suggestions, and a prescription to be filled the next morning.

Between all of us, we managed for five more days (while I continued struggling to find a place for him) when his favorite care-giver called to tell me she thought he needed to go back to the hospital immediately. She wanted me to call an ambulance!

She was right, Jason definitely needed to be back in the hospital. Since the downtown one, just blocks from his apartment, was at maximum capacity he was taken to a newer and much less-crowded one on the north side of the city. Rather than treating and releasing him again, this hospital kept him and worked hard to get his pain under control, cleared up the lingering infection, and a social worker there helped us find a facility to move Jason into that could handle his medical issues AND would accept his insurance.

Jason is slowly adjusting to his new life in a retirement center/nursing home where he has 24/7 care. The nurses and attendants treat him well, he says that the food is good, and most importantly, he’s close to all of his friends!

There are still a few important things I have to work out, but I’m not hyperventilating all of the time, I’m not worrying about him every second of the day, nor am I handling everything alone. My son has built the most wonderful village around himself to help us both, and I am grateful beyond words for each and every one of them!

XO Donna

GRATITUDE LIST

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Many people have a Wish List this time of year, which, by next week will turn into a Resolutions List.
I used to do both, but I’ve decided to spend the last few days of the year focusing on things for which I’m grateful: big things, little things, good things and even not-so-good, because ultimately, I’m still here. And I don’t take that for granted.

Meeting Santa & Mrs. Claus in Fredericksburg, TX

On December 12th we went to Fredericksburg overnight again with friends. It’s a charming old town begun by German immigrants, which has now become known as the Napa Valley of Texas for its many beautiful vineyards. The whole town was decorated for the holidays, and while strolling Main Street, look who we met!

Normally I would just take a nice photo of them – which I did – but neither of us wanted sit for our photo. Vanity, I guess. But, they began chatting with us, in between an occasional kiddie photo… and Santa and Mrs. Claus won us both over.

I’m trying not to fall off the arm of the chair, and everyone is looking somewhere else, but the spontaneous joy of doing something silly was delightful. And now, memorable. I am very glad to have met them, and want more spontaneous joy in my life!

Speaking of joy, my dear friend Holly (nianow.com/hollynastasi) sent me a little gift to “make things sparkle,” her wonderful words… and upon opening the box, I found two long strands of twinkling star-shaped lights run by solar power. They were just the inspiration I needed to finally decorate. We were actually feeling a little bah-humbug about it (highly-unmotivated is our buzzword) but we knew if we did nothing, we’d regret it. And, just like that, magic!

Now motivated, I went on to make a holiday greeting card out of a photo I’d taken two years ago. Feeling it was just a little plain, I decided to add some glitter to each card. I was so proud of myself when I sat down with my glue-stick and a tube of multi-colored glitter and got to work. And I loved the results, the icicles were all sparkling and bright!

Later, talking to my friend, Maria – who teaches Coffee Break Creativity – (she has helped me branch-out and really enjoy making art… letting go of my perfectionism!) she told me she never uses glitter, and now I know why. There is glitter everywhere, andI will never get it off of, or out of everything, I’m certain! Everyone who gets one of those cards is going to hate me… LOL! Live and learn. Sorry!

So, from my house to yours, I gratefully (and glitter-free) wish you a lovely holiday season, a Merry Christmas, and a Happy, Healthy New Year! Thank you for reading, for commenting, and for all of your good vibes. Lots of love,

XO Donna

TWO WEEKS

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The clock’s running out. This two weeks is what we (or maybe just I) wait for all year!

First up is Hanukkah, this weekend, with all of its delicious food: I mean, what’s not to love about latkes and sour cream? Brisket? Delicious apple cake? Or spectacular jelly doughnuts?

Then there is the Winter Solstice on December 21. It is the shortest, darkest day of the year, but from here on in, our days will begin to get longer and lighter. Friends and I always celebrated around an open fire, and there were usually marshmallows to roast and hot beverages, spiked or not. It’s been quite a few years since I’ve been to a Solstice Party, I may have to look at reviving that tradition.

Then a few days later is Christmas Eve – which was always a spectacular hours-long dinner at my Italian in-laws house. I can’t tell you how much I miss those raucous, love-filled, traditional meals. And them.

And then, we wake up the next morning and it’s Christmas Day with its amazing array of traditional Christmas cookies, pies and cakes. I’m going to try and make a gluten-free version of my Mom’s mincemeat/apple pie. No meat involved, in case you’ve never had it. There will be photos if I succeed.

As you can tell, I’m all about the food, (these two images are my favorites!) and of course, getting together with friends and family.

I wish all of my Jewish readers/friends a very Happy Hanukkah, and all of my Christian readers/friends a very Merry Christmas.
And a happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year to you and yours.

(Me and my Sweetie)

XO Donna

LASAGNA

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Lasagna is a special occasion dish: Easter, Christmas, maybe a big birthday. All of the hours of preparation and assembly are done step-by-step with a sense of duty, tradition, and love. An obligation willingly accepted. It is understood that no matter what is happening – good or bad – a lasagna will always make it better, and the family gathered around the table to share in the deliciousness was the best thing of all.

This I learned from my in-laws.

Growing up, we didn’t eat lasagna, my Mom didn’t know how to make it until I’d married and my in-laws taught her. Our family’s go-to for special occasions was a ham… but most of our holidays were, well, not very special. My father’s anxiety and frustration increased as the hours ticked by, and by dinnertime everyone was wound-up so tight that nobody was really hungry.
My Mom may have made a perfectly delicious meal, but as good as it was, there was very little room for fun or conversation at the dinner table.

I met my future husband when I was just sixteen. My first invitation to dinner at his home was a revelation. They were a three-generation family under one roof, only the second I’d ever met, and everyone was working together, music was playing – probably opera – and when we sat to eat, there was lots of talking around the crowded dinner table… and a lasagna. One mouthful and I felt I had gone to Heaven!

Although my marriage didn’t last because we were too young, we always stayed friends. Or friendly, depending on the year. Lucky for me, my relationship with my in-laws DID last, for more than 40 years. When I think of Christmas dinners, it’s always theirs that comes to mind. Theirs that was the exemplar. From my father-in-law’s delicious French onion soup, to my MIL Dot’s multi-course extravaganza, and finally to her mom, Gram’s pleasure in asking, “Whatsa matter, isn’t it good?” when compliments weren’t immediately forthcoming because our mouths were full of her delicious lasagna.

I am sad that those days are only memories now, and happy that I got to be part of such a family.

This year I am going to make a lasagna for Christmas Eve. I haven’t made one in at least 7 years, since I had to quit eating wheat products. When I learned that Barilla makes good no-boil lasagna noodles that hold their shape, I knew it was time. I have had enough experience with gluten-free cooking that I believe I can make this work.

And yet, I’m a little nervous, doubting myself. For some reason, I feel the weight of all of those delicious memories bearing down on me. Will I get it right? Here’s where the rubber meets the road: all of my years of absorbing their experience and wisdom added to my years of cooking, plus the very best ingredients I can find, will, of course, add up to a wonderful lasagna. My version of lasagna.

What do I have to be nervous about?

I will serve it proudly to my Sweetie, my son, and his Dad – we are all sharing a meal this year, and even if it’s not like the old ways, they will all love it.

Here’s hoping that everything you cook turns out perfectly, and fills both bellies and hearts. And here’s wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy, and love-filled New Year!

Gratefully,
XO Donna

SAME OLD?

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It is funny how things change, but yet, they really don’t. I’d say it’s more of an unfolding, or evolution, rather than being another Big Bang!

I turned 70 since I last posted, and as those of you that have preceded me know, it’s no big deal. More of a societal issue, actually.
We have all been conditioned to think of 70 as old, (hell, women dread turning 40… can you imagine?) but I still feel years younger than my chronological age. I’m still l learning new things, still doing Nia, and still having fun. But there is one change I have noticed – I would dearly love a nap most afternoons! I’ve decided it’s because I am still recovering… because I’m certainly not old yet!

I had a lovely birthday – I got to speak to all three of my sisters, AND they all sent me beautiful gifts. My 93-year-old father called me and we had a very upbeat conversation. I thought he wouldn’t remember, but he did. And my sweet son posted a playlist for me on Facebook, then called, and we had a nice conversation, too.

My long-time friend Mike came over for a joint Birthday supper, and whipped up some very complicated, but utterly delicious cocktails to go with a tray of chicken enchiladas verde. Isn’t Mike’s shirt fun? And our drinks were even gin-based!

For dessert, I made my first rustic apple tart and “tweaked it” to compliment the enchiladas by adding finely minced jalapeño, raw sugar and cinnamon, and topped it off with toasted piñon. I was surprised by how simple the crust was to handle, and how light and flaky it turned out! A win worth duplicating for Turkey Day, sans jalapeños.

But, just so I didn’t get too cocky with my pastry success, the Kitchen Gods intervened and the next morning I boiled-over my oatmeal and had a mess to clean-up before my first cup of coffee!

It seems that some things never change, and microwaving oatmeal continues to elude me, so back to the stovetop.

Never get cocky!

Besides time in the kitchen, I’ve spent lots of time poring over photos, ordering cards, and getting everything ready for my Etsy shop. I know you’re going to love it! I finally settled on the perfect name for it – Fairview Photos. Fairview Avenue is the only address where all five of us O’Klock sisters lived together. It was a great house, although with six gals and only one-and-a-half baths, it was a squeeze.
No wonder my poor outnumbered Dad was usually overwhelmed. Its location was ideal – the Great South Bay was just at the end of our street. Lots of kids our age, school was only a few blocks away, and we had amazing neighbors. So many great memories there, so the name suits me to a tee.

Speaking of memories, these mailboxes are among my favorite photos from Santa Fe, shot in 1995. I always smile when I come across these pictures. I always assume that Larry was their friendly local mailman. Can you imagine actually knowing your mail carrier these days? I wish I did, and I’ll bet some of you do.

Gentle Spirit, indeed.

This is just some of my art that will be available on Etsy. Some details are still unfinished, but, in less than two weeks it should be ready for its opening and you will be the first to know!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and a bright and meaningful Hanukkah. While many things around us are changing right now, there is always so much to be thankful for. Goodness, love, and light – that Gentle Spirit – are what I am most thankful for!

With my love and heartfelt respect,

XO Donna

Thank Full

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I learned a long time ago that if you look, you can always find something to be grateful for. These days, we don’t have to look far at all. A roof over our head and food in our pantry. Health, both our own and that of our loved ones – be they near or far this year. And a couple of extra dollars to donate to the local food bank.

And gratitude for friendships.

Thank you all for being here – or out there in the Ethernet. Thank you for your comments, for your advice, support, for sharing this blog, and for reading; giving me some of your time. Wishing you a delicious Thanksgiving!

XO Donna