I don’t say “Lawn Guyland”

It’s where I grew up, but I got to Texas as quickly as I could, and I say it just like y’all.

I’m going there early Saturday morning!  If you look on the (very judgemental) map below, I grew up on the south shore, in “Too far from the City, Too far from the Hamptons” Bayport.

imageI’m meeting my sisters at the train station, if I don’t get lost between LaGuardia  Airport (The City) and Ronkonkoma (Extrememly White People).
I’m a tad worried…it’s been more than 30 years since I’ve taken the train, but I keep reminding myself, “You used to take the train into the city to go to concerts all the time. Stoned. You got this!”

On Monday, we are taking the ferry south, across the bay, to The Pines, on Fire Island (Gays) for the week and staying in a little beach cottage for some R & R (relaxation and recreational bartending). Three of the four of us have tended bar professionally at some point in our lives, and we love to mix cocktails for each other.

The real reason for the getaway is that we are finally going to scatter our sister’s ashes. Hopefully we won’t get arrested, drop the urn into the ocean, or injure someone. And since our 88 year-old father, Daddy-O, will probably be there, we need to walk the tight-rope between the solemnity the occasion deserves, and our familial hiding-behind-humor coping mechanism.

Picture any movie with all four Marx brothers  in it, (yes, there are four – everybody forgets poor Zeppo) and that’s us. Should be a lot of fun.

My sisters have already mapped out the best German bakery for pastries and coffee cake, and where to get the best Eggplant Parmigiana. I will take notes, take pictures, and have stories to tell when I get back.

Now to pack. I wonder if the cottage will have a cocktail shaker?

XO Donna




Six Easy Pieces

No…I’m not referring to the classic Jack Nicholson movie by almost the same title – but if you haven’t seen it, get thee to Netflix (or whoever you download films from) and watch “Five Easy Pieces.”   There is a scene in which Jack’s character is in a diner and trying to get toast to go with his meal.  Imagine the Stones singing “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” in the background.

But you…you can get what you want.  And easily, to boot!  Recently, a beautiful young friend, who shall remain unnamed, said that she’d reached that age where she couldn’t go out without make-up anymore. Then she changed it to, she could…but she shouldn’t.  I have to disagree, her skin is amazing. 

I know a few women around my age who still have amazing skin – they shunned the sun, while I smeared baby oil all over mine and tanned gloriously.  Fire Island! The Hamptons! Who could blame me?  Now…it’ll take a bit of dermabrasion, or lasers, to erase all of that fun!  

For the rest of us, who prefer not to go out bare-faced,  here are six quick and easy steps to cover uneven skin tone, add sunscreen, maintain moisture, and have everyone looking into your eyes and eating out of your hand! image

  1.    A creamy moisturizer with Vitamin C, applied to damp skin.
  2.    BB or CC cream, applied with a moistened sponge.
  3.   A matte eye shadow in a color to compliment, not match,  your eyes.  e.g. – mine are greenish, so I use a pale mauve. Blue?  Use soft coral.  Brown? Use a rich beige or soft cream.
  4.   Brow powder. Since our brows thin as we age. Brows are the frame around a beautiful painting. The finishing touch.
  5.   You could skip this, but I love a thin eyeliner smudged on my top lid along my lashes. You can do lower, too. But never lower only!
  6. Last step – mascara.  I recently learned a new trick: take a tissue and clean of your brush before applying it. It goes on cleaner, no clumps.

So there you have it.  A fast morning routine that will have you protected, and feeling sexy, in under ten minutes!  A swipe of tinted lipgloss, or sheer lipstick, a dash of perfume,  and you are ready for whatever the day may throw at you.

(For my gentlemen readers – After shaving,  I really encourage you to use a moisturizer with an SPF 25 or 30. Carry it up to your hairline, and on your ears and your neck. Ooh, remember cologne!)

XO  Donna