Everything, Everywhere, All at Once

“I’d like to be an ostrich… and stick my head in the sand for a day. Or, maybe a week, you know. Ignore everything and it will all go away. Oh, how I wish that were so!”

To balance the tsunami of information, misinformation, and bad news – I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts, watching British murder mysteries, rom-coms, and new series on TV.

One that I particularly enjoyed was “With Love, Meghan,” The Duchess of Sussex’s new series on Netflix. She is doing a lifestyle show: she invites people she admires (Alice Waters!) to cook with her. She has girlfriends come visit for beautiful lunches. She invited a local chef to teach her a dish and they bonded over their love of spicy foods, and for the end of the series she threw a beautiful brunch for friends and family, including Prince Harry and her Mom.

The show is filmed in a rented kitchen studio down the street from her personal home. (I respect her decision not to bring a full TV crew into her home and disrupt her children’s life, and who would want people gawking at your personal possessions?) Some scenes do show her incredible gardens, her view of the mountains, and her chickens and beehives.

There’s a lot of jealousy, poor reviews and online-vitriol being thrown Meghan’s way, and I hope she doesn’t take any of it to heart. She’s good at what she does; joyful and at ease. And I like the way she included her crew and staff in the show.

I remember when Martha Stewart first became successful, there was a lot of criticism by people who didn’t want to emulate her. She became the brunt of many jokes and SNL skits for “being perfect,” and an anti-Martha Stewart movement evolved. I bought my first Martha Stewart cookbook in 1983, and I’ve been a fan ever since. I saw her “eye for detail” as aspirational, and was very happy for her comeback after her (unfair) prison stint.

I think Meghan is this generation’s Martha. And to her critics, I say, “haters gonna hate. Those who can’t do, criticize.” With the internet, for better or worse, anyone can have a voice. I was surprised at how at-ease and adept Meaghan is at so many things. Maybe, because I’m older, I appreciate and respect the fact that she wants to work when she certainly doesn’t have to. And she throws her heart into what she’s doing… Give it a watch, admire the view.

“Isn’t the whole point of getting older to be kinder and better to other women?”

Chelsea Handler

I found a new personal-trainer last week. I’d been going to the gym less and less because I felt horrible each time I worked out. Turns out it’s an “exercise-induced inflammatory response.” In the 36 hours after working out my muscles and joints would hurt more and more until I didn’t want to move at all. If you have an autoimmune disorder, or arthritis, and notice this is happening, know that it’s not in your head, and can be addressed.

I overheard Jill, my trainer, talking to a client and approached her when she’d finished. She has lots of experience with auto-immune disorders and this type of inflammatory-response. We started simply, with my joints, to built range and strength. My shoulders haven’t felt so relaxed afterwards in I-don’t-know-how-long. It’s easy to get back on track when exercising doesn’t feel like a slog – and not being in pain is its own motivation. As is liking your teacher. I saw her again this afternoon and enjoyed it even more this time.

Speaking of exercise and getting older, I read this sweet story about Jimmy Carter the other day and wanted to share it with you. “Someone once asked Jimmy Carter how he and his wife stayed so healthy. He said, “When we got married, we made a promise that when we argued, the loser had to run 5 miles…
So for 77 years, I ran 5 miles a day!.” Then someone asked, “So how did Rosalynn stay so healthy?” He said, “She followed me to make sure I actually ran it.”

Don’t you absolutely love that?

Things on the home front are good. My son is doing well, and sends me French movies and music to inspire me to keep studying French. As it happens, I am enjoying it much more than expected. My three sisters all made it through their brutally cold winters up north. And my sweetie just celebrated his 82nd birthday a few weeks ago. I wish I had his energy – he works out with his trainer three times a week, takes care of our yard, garden and trees, and rides his motorcycle every chance he gets! I’ve been baking a lot – now gluten-free and dairy-free. I’ve gotten so good at it that I’m eating it as fast as I cook it, so no photos. Next time!

Please take really good care of yourselves,

XO Donna


Busy Body

I’ve started playing a card game called Hand and Foot with a group of women two weeks ago. It’s a variation of Canasta, and I’m surprised by how much I’m enjoying it. I remember my Mom used to play cards once in a while, and this was what she played.

Playing Canasta makes me feel connected to her.

I was fortunate to have two amazing teachers – both incredibly patient, with a gift for explaining the hows and whys. I sat at the corner of the table and watched as they played. Everyone took the time to explain moves and answer my questions as they played.
Two different days and 10 games later, I played for the first time, making some mistakes (just to get them out of the way) yet my partner and I won! I’m looking forward to playing again this Friday… right after I finish my second Spanish class!

I am finally taking that Conversational Spanish course. I signed up for a Thursday morning class, because it was convenient, but I was the only student who showed up! I had the teacher all to myself and we talked (in Spanish) about everything in our lives – she is also the oldest of five girls! I struggled, of course, but we covered a lot in 90 minutes. When I left I was certain that I was in over my head, but that evening la maestra texted me to ask if I could do her Friday class instead. She thinks I am “more advanced” with my Spanish and would enjoy the Friday class more.

Now, every other Friday I will have to rush from Spanish class to the card game. Ándele!

Relaxed Young Woman Lying On Fitness Mat Doing Exercise With Yoga Belt And Two Blocks

On Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons I take a Restorative Yoga class. I wrote about this in my book, in the chapter on Yin Yoga. I love it.
These slow, supported poses (3 -5 minutes) relax your body deeply, which enables your nervous system’s fight-or-flight response to let it’s guard down. When you feel safe, your body relaxes. We use blocks, bolsters, belts and blankets to lean against, lie on, or prop-up, in order to take the effort out of a pose/stretch. After everything we ask of our bodies, it’s a nice respite. I always feel completely chilled-out after class.

It’s a wonderful way to overcome feeling stressed and anxious about everything that is beyond our control. I didn’t realize how tense I was until I felt my body relax completely. I may have even had tears running down my face as I lay there.

These poses increase flexibility of both body and mind, and lubricate your joints, which is a good thing!

Speaking of flexibility – I read an article by the Arthritis Foundation the other day about maintaining knee health as we age. (My rheumatologist sends them to me.) If you have knee issues and are overweight the study shows that losing 1 lb. of weight resulted in 4 lbs. of pressure being removed from the knees. Losing just 10 lbs. will relieve 40lbs. of pressure on your knees, AND that same 10 lb. weight loss will relieve 60 lbs. of pressure from your hips!

Also – new studies show we don’t need to walk 10,000 steps daily to extend our lives, Just 4,000 will do the job! After that, each additional 1,000 steps will reduce your risk of dying “from any cause” by 15%. And the more you move, the better – adults older than 60 saw a 42% decline in mortality risk when they walked between 6-10K steps daily. I know lots of people don’t like to exercise, but I swear to you, making it a fun part of your life will have huge benefits when you’re older and can get around easily: climb stairs, get in-and-out of chairs, cars, airplanes, boats, etc. The hardest part is always getting started. Once you do, momentum, and how well you will feel (body and mind) will keep you going!

Stay well, and take good care of yourself. Until next time,

XO Donna