I subscribe to a site called “My Little Paris,” in English. Every week they focus on where to go for lunch, or the best place for a mani/pedi in Paris. The best patisserie. Cocktails after work. Today, I was excited because they have published a guide-book, in English, of things to do in Paris with illustrations by their delightful artist, Kanako! Of course, as I read, I daydreamed of returning!
Why is Paris sexy? It’s a city….one of many in the world. What makes IT sexy, and all of the others ‘not sexy?’
Maybe it’s simply the fact that when we hear something enough, we come to believe it. Now, it is so. Then we say it and perpetuate it. “Paris is the most romantic city in the world!” “Paris is so sexy!” “Oh, don’t you just love Paris!” “The women are gorgeous!”
We can do this same thing for ourselves! There is a saying, “You’ll see it when you believe it!” Yes, you read that correctly. The saying is about manifesting. In this case, it’s also about watching our language, speaking lovingly to, and about, ourselves.
I spent the weekend before Thanksgiving in Dallas with a dear friend, salon owner Ron Maddox. www.ronmaddox.com We shopped till we dropped, then we sat and talked over tea at Teavana – a shop as serious about their tea as Starbucks is about their coffee! We spoke about the words that are used in our everyday conversations. Languaging. Most of that conversation I will save for another blog, but I will mention this part: Loving kindness in our dialogue toward ourselves…
Ron pointed out that as I was trying on clothes and shoes, that I wasn’t being very kind to a few body parts that I thought weren’t perfect. You know the drill, “these pants are too ___because my ass is too ___.” Or my shoulders are too…my boobs are too…I’m too… I guess we all do this. And I realized that we are, in fact, sending negative messages to ourselves which we internalize, come to believe, and then perpetuate.
What to do about this? Catch yourself, and stop. 1) be grateful you have that body part at all! 2) take the charge out of it. Think, “These pants are too tight across the derrierre.” No judgement! It’s about the pants, not about you. They just don’t fit. And you deserve clothes that fit beautifully. (I’m sure you all know the value of a great tailor by now – all of your clothes CAN fit beautifully!)
When we went to Paris in 2005, I read many guidebooks before we went, and a few addressed how to dress in Paris. I left the blue jeans and sneakers behind, and packed my most sophisticated, yet comfortable clothes. I bought a sexy red raincoat. I learned enough French to ask directions, and order food politely. As I strolled the streets, or sat in cafes with a glass of red wine, I felt romantic, beautiful and sophisticated! I chose to believe the good PR for Paris. Like putting on rose-colored glasses, everything was run through that filter, including myself!
I love this image because it seems the tables are waiting. All we need do is climb up there! We can also climb up into a place of acceptance and love of ourselves. Let’s be more conscientious about the things we say to ourselves (being harsh with ourselves is NOT the way toward change, loving kindness is). Let’s take the words I HATE out of our vocabularly. Rather than focusing on what we dislike, decide what we’d prefer, then focus on that as our goal. If we want to change something on our body, do it out of preference, rather than disdain. We have the power to create a new reality – sometimes with the help of a skilled dermatologist, surgeon, hair stylist, personal trainer, or tailor – it’s all good!
Paris is the place that touches and inspires me most, and until today I didn’t realize why.
Come join me on that rooftop!