It’s a Cha-cha

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One, two. One, two, three. Two steps forward… and three steps back.

I was feeling pretty cocky about my new drug because everything was going so well. Yep, you know what’s coming. With two days worth of pills left, I crashed and burned spectacularly. The drug did its job too well – and my platelet count, well, let’s just say I was “running on fumes.” Or, could barely run on fumes.
The good thing about being cared for at an oncology center is that they don’t take things lightly – it’s not, “oh, we can fit you in later in the month.” It’s, “Come in now. Labs first. Next, you’re going to go across the street to the hospital get a “cross & type” done, because we made an appointment for you to get a platelet infusion tomorrow morning at 10:00 am.”

Not what I was expecting, but friends who have gone through cancer treatment told me it happens, that they’d been through it.

Afterward, we drove 50 miles home in rush-hour traffic, in the dark and the rain, the first we’ve had in a while. It was a spectacular electrical storm, lightning rending the sky, the white bolts temporarily turning everything violet. It was a great distraction, as were the muffins we ate as we drove. Crumbs everywhere… but that wasn’t important for a change. Crumbs can be vacuumed.

There is a wonderful upscale grocery market just blocks from the hospital, and I love going there when I’m in that part of town, which is rare these days. Their bakery is fantastic. Their deli is expansive. Everything is mouth-watering. If there is a Heaven, surely it will be a place like this!
Before heading home, we had stopped there and bought coffee and muffins for the road. Dinner. My fave is a Lemon Poppyseed, which isn’t gluten-free, but under the circumstances…

I was back at the oncologist for bloodwork early the next morning, and I did have to get that infusion of platelets. Wasn’t horrible. (I’m lying, it was. Brave face.) But, it was all finished in two hours. I spent the weekend binge-watching Netflix, and I finished the book, “Olga Dies Dreaming,” by Xochitl Gonzalez.
I always enjoy her articles in The Atlantic but cannot remember who recommended her book to me. “Set in NYC in the months surrounding the most devastating hurricane in Puerto Rico’s history, Olga Dies Dreaming examines political corruption, familial strife, and the very notion of the American Dream.” For having been written four years ago, it features a bigoted, corrupt, imbecilic President – and cast of supporting political characters who all seem quite familiar. I wasn’t sure about Olga herself, in the beginning, but I ended up loving both her and the book!

I have to be back at the hospital today for a blood transfusion. While ,y platelets are going up, but for some reason my hemoglobin is almost non-existent. Luckily, it’s fixable. I asked if there was a place I could do this closer to home, and there is. I know that my chauffeur probably appreciates this as much as I do. We went yesterday and I had my blood cross & typed again – and this time the room had windows, it was warm, and the nurse who will be caring for me was as gentle as kitten. This is going to be a much better experience.

Needless to say, there’s no way I’m cooking a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I’ve let that go. Although it seems like it’s all about the meal, what’s on the table isn’t important. It’s who is around my table; the people that I get to love are what I’m so thankful for!

You know how much I appreciate you all for being here. Have a delightful Thanksgiving tomorrow!
(Have non-traditional plans? Not making a turkey? Cooking for 20? Tell me what you’re doing, I’d love to hear all about it!)

XO Donna

Show & Tell

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I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking; “I really need to quit reading ALL of the news.” There has always been a part of me that believes that if I completely understand something , then I will have some control over it… but, no matter how much I read, or analyze, I cannot understand . It is incomprehensible.

What I am searching for now, is the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change.

I usually post earlier in the week, but this week disappeared, taken up by trying to schedule a series of MRIs for my son. You’d think it would be a simple phone call, wouldn’t you? And for someone with good health insurance, and no special needs, it would be – but to make this appointment required coordination between his nursing home, his insurance, the imaging schedulers, two different hospitals, an anesthesiology department… and me. Nine days and sixteen phone calls later, Mission Impossible turned into mission accomplished!
To celebrate, I baked myself a delicious gluten-free/non-dairy sour cream coffee cake. And I gotta tell you, it was delicious!

I wasn’t sure whether or not the non-dairy yogurt I eat (which has the texture and tang of sour cream) would work, but it did, and deliciously so. I’ve made two, in as many weeks, and I know that it’s a keeper. Speaking of non-dairy yogurt, they have improved to the point where they are actually tasty. The one I buy has 12g of protein in a serving… and it’s the store’s brand. If you have trouble with dairy, products, do a bit of exploring. I was pleasantly surprised.

In between all the calls, and waiting for return calls, I decided that our entryway needed some sprucing up, something we’ve talked about for years. When we were in Costco they had beautiful ceramic pots on sale. Front porch worthy pots. We hauled one home, then went to the garden center and bought a Hibiscus that should thrive in the bright morning sun and indirect afternoon light. Her tag says she’s a Cecilia Hibiscus, with red double blooms. So, she came with her own name… and now when I water her I can’t help but sing the Simon and Garfunkle lyrics; “Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart, you’re shaking my confidence daily…oh Cecilia, I’m down on my knees, I’m begging you please to come home, come on home.” She seems at home in her new space, don’t you think?

I know… the tag’s showing on my cushion. Blame the bad prop stylist. I also bought a Star Jasmine which has been planted under the kitchen windows, but since that bed is still a work-in-progress I will take some photos after I get it in order. I came home from the grocery store with an Oregano plant the other day. I’m going to put it in a side bed where I tried to grow Basil for the last three years – it was like hitting my head against a wall – the soil wasn’t appropriate and the sun was too intense. The Oregano should do well next to the Rosemary and Thyme. (Another Simon and Garfunkle song in there.)

I’m focusing on bright spots where I can find them, or make them. And that leads me to my appointment this afternoon – two weeks ago I had my nails done. My illness, perhaps my restrictive diet, and certainly my meds had taken a toll on my nails. And I hadn’t taken care of my cuticles in a while. I’m embarrassed to show you, but I felt like I was hanging on by a thread for a while. Have you ever just had a spell where you were over it all? What did you do?

I chose to do this frivolous thing for myself, and asked one of the women I play Canasta with -she had a particularly well-done American manicure (a french manicure has white tips, an American is more subtle, creamy) – where she got her nails done, then booked an appointment there.
Helen, the owner of the salon, did a wonderful job; she was gentle and very efficient, and has a good eye. All qualities I really appreciate. I loved the results!

The new nails have necessitated gardening gloves, which also feels nurturing… another small layer of self-care.
So although everything else is mostly beyond my control, I am grateful for these small things. For the lovely vignettes I have made, for the fact that I have creative outlets, and because you are all here.

Please take good care of yourselves, okay?

XO Donna

One More Thing

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4 minute read


What’s your weather like? We’ve had spring, jumped forward to full-on summer for a few days, then fell back to winter. Now it’s spring again. You’ve just gotta love Texas for its weather.

We have been playing with the idea of planting a veggie garden. And planting a tree. And whether or not to take out a large portion of our back yard and add a simple rock “solution” there, which would mean much less lawn-mowing/weed-eating for my sweetie, while adding visual interest.

I think we both still expect to have tons of energy to accomplish things, but we’re finding that we don’t. We discuss, decide, and then lollygag… and nothing gets done.

I think that the political strife is getting to my sweetie. I’m better at ranting, then letting it go. Every day brings something new to freak out about, if you let it get to you. I’m striving to keep my wits about me. I’m also trying to make arrangements for my son to have a series of MRI’s done.
For those of us with good insurance, it’s simple to schedule these kinds of procedures… for those without, it is a Möbius loop of authorizations, denials, un-returned phone calls, and a scheduling nightmare. I know I will eventually accomplish this for him, but I wonder how someone without an advocate would ever get their needs met.

On the positive side, we’ve developed a strategy for decision-making; we ask if what we think we want to do is “going to be one more thing to take care of.”

That question has put the kibosh on lots of ideas because our summers are overwhelmingly hot and neither of us wants to deal with garden maintenance in that kid of heat. So, we ruled out a veggie garden.
It’s also why, despite many, many convos about getting a pet (I’d love another cat) we don’t get one. We are well aware of everything that being a good pet parent requires, and neither of us is willing to do that again. Especially at an age where our pet could conceivably outlive us.

At this point in my life, I don’t think I could even give a goldfish what it needs!

I’ve got two Purple Fountain Grass plants waiting to go in the ground. And a couple of shrubs that need pruning back because it’s starting to look like the Addams Family mansion around here, and today is a good day, I had 10 hours of sleep last night.

Success! The grasses are in the ground, and two of the three shrubs are scaled back. It would be so much easier to keep everything box shaped, but, of course I want them to be round green balls. I brought my hairdressing skills to this task (I was imagining channeling Edward Scissorhands as I plodded along with my clippers) but overall, it looks great.

When I peruse Pinterest… I always admire the topiary gardens. Plants spaced as evenly as pieces on a chessboard. And a pebble pathway through it all.
Upon moving in, I tore out the old overgrown garden that ran along the back of the house, under the kitchen windows. We tried putting flowers and plants in a wild cottage garden style. We both hated it. The next year I strived for more order, but a plant I grew for the butterflies took over – invasive, leggy, stretching for the sun, and stinky! I’ve been pulling that out this year. I assume most gardeners go through this trial-and-error when they plant gardens for themselves, right?
I know what I don’t like, and I am learning from what has failed so far… at some point I hope I’ll come up with something I love.

Sounds a bit like life; our garden setting parameters and guiding us, showing us (and others) a little something about who we are inside.

I am determined. I will figure this out. I’ve done it before at the house we remodeled. I tore out a hedge of holly with its prickly leaves from around the pool, and planted a tropical garden (in luscious soil that held moisture) unlike this dry, rocky fill our new house is built on. Maybe this needs to be more of a desert garden? Okay, I’m headed back to Pinterest for ideas on Arizona/desert style…

I’ll have some great books to share with you next time, and maybe photos of a finished garden. If you have any favorite plants that you know would work, please share. I’d love your input!

XO Donna

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once

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“I’d like to be an ostrich… and stick my head in the sand for a day. Or, maybe a week, you know. Ignore everything and it will all go away. Oh, how I wish that were so!”

To balance the tsunami of information, misinformation, and bad news – I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts, watching British murder mysteries, rom-coms, and new series on TV.

One that I particularly enjoyed was “With Love, Meghan,” The Duchess of Sussex’s new series on Netflix. She is doing a lifestyle show: she invites people she admires (Alice Waters!) to cook with her. She has girlfriends come visit for beautiful lunches. She invited a local chef to teach her a dish and they bonded over their love of spicy foods, and for the end of the series she threw a beautiful brunch for friends and family, including Prince Harry and her Mom.

The show is filmed in a rented kitchen studio down the street from her personal home. (I respect her decision not to bring a full TV crew into her home and disrupt her children’s life, and who would want people gawking at your personal possessions?) Some scenes do show her incredible gardens, her view of the mountains, and her chickens and beehives.

There’s a lot of jealousy, poor reviews and online-vitriol being thrown Meghan’s way, and I hope she doesn’t take any of it to heart. She’s good at what she does; joyful and at ease. And I like the way she included her crew and staff in the show.

I remember when Martha Stewart first became successful, there was a lot of criticism by people who didn’t want to emulate her. She became the brunt of many jokes and SNL skits for “being perfect,” and an anti-Martha Stewart movement evolved. I bought my first Martha Stewart cookbook in 1983, and I’ve been a fan ever since. I saw her “eye for detail” as aspirational, and was very happy for her comeback after her (unfair) prison stint.

I think Meghan is this generation’s Martha. And to her critics, I say, “haters gonna hate. Those who can’t do, criticize.” With the internet, for better or worse, anyone can have a voice. I was surprised at how at-ease and adept Meaghan is at so many things. Maybe, because I’m older, I appreciate and respect the fact that she wants to work when she certainly doesn’t have to. And she throws her heart into what she’s doing… Give it a watch, admire the view.

“Isn’t the whole point of getting older to be kinder and better to other women?”

Chelsea Handler

I found a new personal-trainer last week. I’d been going to the gym less and less because I felt horrible each time I worked out. Turns out it’s an “exercise-induced inflammatory response.” In the 36 hours after working out my muscles and joints would hurt more and more until I didn’t want to move at all. If you have an autoimmune disorder, or arthritis, and notice this is happening, know that it’s not in your head, and can be addressed.

I overheard Jill, my trainer, talking to a client and approached her when she’d finished. She has lots of experience with auto-immune disorders and this type of inflammatory-response. We started simply, with my joints, to built range and strength. My shoulders haven’t felt so relaxed afterwards in I-don’t-know-how-long. It’s easy to get back on track when exercising doesn’t feel like a slog – and not being in pain is its own motivation. As is liking your teacher. I saw her again this afternoon and enjoyed it even more this time.

Speaking of exercise and getting older, I read this sweet story about Jimmy Carter the other day and wanted to share it with you. “Someone once asked Jimmy Carter how he and his wife stayed so healthy. He said, “When we got married, we made a promise that when we argued, the loser had to run 5 miles…
So for 77 years, I ran 5 miles a day!.” Then someone asked, “So how did Rosalynn stay so healthy?” He said, “She followed me to make sure I actually ran it.”

Don’t you absolutely love that?

Things on the home front are good. My son is doing well, and sends me French movies and music to inspire me to keep studying French. As it happens, I am enjoying it much more than expected. My three sisters all made it through their brutally cold winters up north. And my sweetie just celebrated his 82nd birthday a few weeks ago. I wish I had his energy – he works out with his trainer three times a week, takes care of our yard, garden and trees, and rides his motorcycle every chance he gets! I’ve been baking a lot – now gluten-free and dairy-free. I’ve gotten so good at it that I’m eating it as fast as I cook it, so no photos. Next time!

Please take really good care of yourselves,

XO Donna

No Resolutions

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New Year’s resolutions have always had a negative connotation to them, at least to me. Something must change… and it’s something that needs discipline, willpower, and maybe a bit of punishment to accomplish.
In reality, the origin of resolution is Latin: resolvere – loosen, release. Let go. I like the shift I feel inside when I think of what I can let go of. It feels doable. What do you think?

There is one thing in particular I want to give up this year… My outrage. I refuse to spend the next four years in a perpetual state of outrage over the politics, oppression, hatred, and unjustness I see.


I going to focus myself on what/where/and how I can help. How can I be a good example? And be of service? We can all do this by looking at what is within our “Sphere of Influence?” Our neighborhood and neighbors. Our family and friends. Our spiritual community. Local charities and foundations that actually help the people they’re supposed to. (You’d be surprised how many charities use the majority of donations on administrative costs and nice salaries.)
I am going to shop locally more often by buying from independently-owned or franchised stores, (Shout-out to Penzey’s Spices ) and independent bookstores. Especially those that let me know they are LGBTQ+ friendly. And I’m going to get a library card.

I felt that 2024 was a particularly hard year for me, both as a woman, and in my personal life. I am not sad to see it in the rear-view mirror. And I look forward to a more stable year doing the things I love, that fill me up, and that are good for me!

I’m going to take a short-story writing class through MasterClass. I was a bit afraid, but it’s time to release the fear and “just do it.” It has been a goal to write articles for magazines and online… or to ghost write for others, and get paid to do so. I love researching and writing.

I’m also learning French now after studying Spanish all through the pandemic. My son and I work on my French lessons together during our visits. He has a facility for languages that is amazing, and a mind like a steel trap!

And I’ve been meeting with a group of women to expand my creativity through art. I tend to be paralyzed when confronted with a blank page and the thought of “messing it up.” But letting that go has turned out to be some of the most relaxing time I spend, other than having my nose buried in a great book. I have begun an art journal and am using pen and watercolor to illustrate diary entries and dreams.

I’m also working on the next level of gluten-free baking: raised breads and pastries. Another thing I was afraid I couldn’t do… but I’m ready to tackle that now because “cheating” – eating some bread here, and some cheese there, is leaving me feeling worse than ever.
Or maybe it’s because of that last birthday? LOL.

If you want to view my fave website for all things delish and gluten-free go here: The Loopy Whisk.

So, seven days into the new year, I wish you everything wonderful: self-care and good health, success at new things, great companionship, and lots of good books!

Oh, the one I’m reading right now is called, “The Hypocrite” by Jo Hamya. It’s on lots of Must Read lists, and I’m engrossed. But the afternoon has flown by and it’s time to prepare dinner right now, so my book will have to wait!

Here’s to 2025, and to all of you. Merci beaucoup!
XO Donna

T’was the Night Before

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I’ve tried to keep things simple, but it’s 4:15 a.m. Monday morning and I’m a bit stressed-out as I iron-out my menu for Christmas Eve dinner, tomorrow. I’ve noticed that as I’ve gotten older I tend to stress-out more, rather than less. Is it just me? Tell me it’s not…
Our dear friend Mike (whom you’ve met before) is coming over to shake up some cocktails and celebrate with us. I’ve finally decided on a wonderfully meaty lasagne (Not GF noodles, but I found a perfect sub for all the ricotta) and a Caesar salad. Simple.

Since Christmas and Hanukkah are both on December 25 this year I’m putting an Italian spin on my latkes by using zucchini and potatoes. Topped with vegan sour cream (Kite Hill) and a touch of rosemary they’ll make great appetizers! And to finish everything off, I’m trying out an Eggnog panna cotta. My sweetie loves eggnog… so I thought, Why not? I’ll have to try a bite or two, to make sure it’s good. LOL

I know my omnivore son will love everything – I’m bringing dinner to him and we’ll visit on Christmas Day. He’s doing much better; he’s able to be in his chair comfortably now for a couple of hours. He even visited with his friends away from the nursing home for the first time. Big win in my book!

Lasagne is my son’s paternal family’s tradition. We used to have the most delicious Italian feasts at his grandparents house, food was their love-language. Four generations would gather, and that celebration is sorely missed.
I do my best, but those are by-gone memories we cherish now.
Jason’s Grandmother and Great-grandmother, and their cooking, were the glue that held an extensive network of friends and family together.

Speaking of four generations – Turk’s grandson and his beautiful wife are in town till January 7, and we got to meet our precious great-granddaughter for the first time!
My sweetie is absolutely smitten!
She was born in Korea, where they are stationed. She is such a happy baby, easy-going, always smiling and willing to be held or played with by everyone.

We will be driving to San Antonio on the 27th to honor her baptism into the Catholic faith with her family. And taking time for a little getaway to see the lights along the Riverwalk and visit some favorite places.

Turk found his rosary beads from when he attended church as a child – beautiful faceted stones that look like garnets – and he’s going to pass them along to her. We hope she enjoys them, and appreciates their history one day.

I hope all of your celebrations are merry and bright, and I thank you for spending another year with me. I appreciate it more than you know.

XO Donna

GRATITUDE… in general

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It seems like Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving has just snuck up on me. Last week it was 86 degrees and this morning it’s 41. The leaves are falling, and my sweetie is complaining that no sooner does he get them all raked up… than he has to do it again. I think he takes it personally. So, of course, we will celebrate when the last one has fallen.

I don’t know about you, but I make menus and keep running lists for what I’m preparing for Turkey Day. Even when I’m only doing part of the dinner.
We have family members who, like me, can’t eat wheat or dairy. Or nuts, come to think of it. And a family member who can’t eat eggs. I like to surprise her with a special treat.
And we have a few omnivores who can eat anything, and yet enjoy the GF, egg-free and non-dairy items too, so I make extra. I honestly love the challenge.

How about you? Do you find you are preparing more foods in a non-traditional way each year? What specifically? Please share. 😉

If you’re like me, I’ll bet you’ve started your holiday/Christmas shopping, and I have a book to add to your list.
From a blurb in The Atlantic magazine on perfect gifts: “If, like me, you love museums, love coffee-table books and loathe the systemic erasure of women from the Western culture, then this gift is for you.”

When visiting a museum, Ms. Hessel realized that 83% of the art on the walls was by men… this is her effort to bring women artists into the light. Something that is long overdue and should be fascinating. I’ve ordered mine already! $42.00 on Amazon

Here’s a small, but soul-soothing gift (who couldn’t use that these days?) This candle was on the same “best gifts” list, and what I love about it is the fact that it’s a gender-neutral gift. I dislike all the pumpkin-spicy and peppermint candles that accompany the holiday season. This one is available at Target: Threshold Leather & Embers candle. It is subtly delicious, and the amber glass and wooden lid make it look more expensive than it actually is. At $12.00 each, and under, you can buy a few without breaking the bank.

I can’t remember if this is our 8th or 9th Thanksgiving together – but it means the world to me that you keep reading. I have so much to be grateful for, and you, dear readers, are a very large part of that.
Thank you, and I hope you all have a delicious and Happy Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving!

XO Donna

WRITERS & READERS

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I didn’t know that it was William Butler Yeats who said, “Things fall apart, the center cannot hold.” I thought it was Joan Didion. In fact, it was the title of a 2017 documentary about her life and work entitled, “The Center Will Not Hold.” And I can relate to that feeling… things are getting better, but life now is still two steps forward and one back. I’ve found a lot of pleasure lately in reading because I can finally relax and enjoy it.

After having had the attention-span of a gnat for most of this year – and consequently being unable to read, now I’m reading lots of great blogs, watching good documentaries (Joan Didion, above) have read five books in quick succession. And I’m also studying both Spanish and French!

My sisters and I formed our own Book Club intending to read a bunch of Murder/Mysteries – a genre we all like. We each bought Susan Juby’s “Mindful of Murder,” and I think everyone enjoyed it, but I’m not sure.
What’s not to like about an engaging-ex-Buddhist-nun-turned-butler solving crimes? The book takes place in the Pacific Northwest at a stunning retreat center. I learned a lot about being a butler, which is a career I didn’t know existed here in the U.S. But, it’s a thing!

Our book club didn’t quite come together as planned, the phrase “like herding cats,” is what comes to mind. I went on to read the next book, “A Meditation on Murder,” by myself, but didn’t enjoy it as much because I really had no interest in a bunch of young people whose only goal in life is becoming influencers and being mean girls along the way. So, I wouldn’t recommend this one. Her first was more satisfying.

Next I read a memoir called, “Men Have Called Her Crazy,” by Anne Marie Tendler, a NYT bestseller. I downloaded it to my Kindle (I actually prefer books on paper, but wanted instant gratification) and read it in one day. It gets a lot of bad reviews, and I didn’t realize that she had been married to John Mulvaney, a stand-up comic, until the end of the book. The author has serious mental health issues (to wit, she was married to John Mulvaney) and so checked herself into a psychiatric hospital. Maybe it’s not a topic for everyone, but I enjoyed her style, if not necessarily all of her thought processes. But, she’s young, and has lots more growing-up to do.

As you can see, I keep wonderfully detailed, well-organized lists of books I want to read. Joking! But I have lots to choose from, and am always open to your suggestions. I just downloaded “A Visit from the Goon Squad,” by Jennifer Egan. It has earned 11,588 4-star reviews and is a National Book Critics Circle Winner. We’ll see. And, after that, “The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store,” by James McBride.

I’d like to acknowledge the passing of Dame Maggie Smith – I’m not sure why, but her death had me crying all day. She was my favorite on Downton Abbey, and I admired her greatly. We rewatched the films “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” and “Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” last week. If you’ve not seen them, I can recommend both whole-heartedly. There aren’t many fun-filled, thoughtful, movies made about older adults and the changes that come with living a long life. These two films will bring a big smile to both your face… and your heart. I promise!

XO Donna

Broken Hearted

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In my last post I was heading off “into the sunset to rest and relax after getting my son comfortably settled in a nursing home.”

Except, it seems that I put a bow on all of that too soon, and I have been hesitant to talk about everything that happened next, not wanting you to feel sorry for me, or to put our connection at risk by oversharing.

The pressure didn’t let up: the nursing home wasn’t up to speed in dealing with a young person with advanced MS. It took a couple of months, and my constant complaining, to get things under control. This, combined with Jason’s anguish, led to many middle-of-the-night phone calls, and almost daily two-hour-round-trip drives. His friends were there for support, but I found myself always waiting for the other shoe to drop because, ultimately, as his Mom, the onus is on me.

On Easter Sunday we went to visit Jason, then on to dinner with Turk’s family. I felt exhausted and uncomfortable, but it was nice to socialize and relax a little. Unfortunately, my discomfort worsened over the next few days. I thought I was having indigestion-from-hell. I lost my appetite, and I couldn’t sleep unless I was sitting up on the sofa. When my abdomen became swollen, I realized this was beyond stress and indigestion… Turk took me to the ER on April 5th.

The ER cardiologist scooted up to me on a stool, leaned forward and said, “Do you know you’re in congestive heart failure?”

I’m assuming it was a rhetorical question, how would I have know that? “At your last heart exam in November, everything seemed fine, I don’t understand how you got here. What’s been going on?”

Well, you all know the story, but I went through it again with him, and after doing so, we both sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. I added that I felt absolutely broken-hearted. “That’s because you are,” he said. “It’s called takotsubo cardiomyopathy or “broken-heart syndrome.” It’s a real, and fortunately, reversible condition that often mimics a heart attack.

A week in the hospital forced me to rest (as much as one can) and gave the doctors a chance to get a complete picture of what was happening. It also let Jason (and me) see myself as something other than Supermom.
It’s been a difficult adjustment for me since I prided myself on my resilience… maybe too much so. I don’t bounce the way I used to. But, word got out quickly that I was in the hospital and Jason’s friends were all there for him. We got in the habit of a daily check-in where he’s checkin on me, rather than vice-versa.

I slept off-and-on around the clock, someone else cooked all of my meals, and a Nutritionist came to visit and explain my new diet: unfortunately, I’m now on a low-sodium diet. No dairy. No wheat. No alcohol. And now, No salt. Yuck. I’ll figure it out, I love to cook and I love to eat.

The highlight of my stay: I got to see the total eclipse while I was in the hospital!



Turk was visiting, and I was cleared to walk down to the cafeteria with it’s courtyard just outside. We watched as hospital staff went in and out observing the progression of the eclipse. It got so crowded we wondered who was taking care of the patients? When Turk finished his sandwich, we joined everyone outside. Nobody blinked an eye as I stood out there in my flamingo pajamas and slippers!

Solar eclipse viewing

We were in the “path of totality,” and although it had been cloudy, it cleared in time to see everything. It was exciting to share this rare event with everyone around us. Camaraderie. And cheers when it was over… then, back to work. A reminder to me that there is always something beautiful, somewhere, if you’re open to it.

While these last few months have been challenging, mostly I’m doing well. I haven’t had the attention span to read or write, but I have listened to podcasts. “Wiser Than Me,” with Julia Louis-Dreyfus stands out, and “MeSsy,” Christina Applegate’s podcast is great. I’ve watched some good TV series – I loved “Land of Women” (Terra de Mujeres) on Apple TV, starring Eva Longoria as a socialite-on-the-run in Spain. On Netflix, “Unstable” with Rob Lowe and his son is quirky, but fun. And my sisters and I have formed our own book club – we all like murder mysteries – and our first book is “Mindful of Murder,” by Susan Juby. I’ll let you know.

And we bought an air-fryer, after lots of encouragement from my daughter-in-law. I can easily make odor-free, mess-free, grass-fed burgers and turkey-burgers, pork tenderloin and chicken breasts. Roasted veggies are a cinch, too. Clean-up is easy and it doesn’t heat up the kitchen. Good food, fast, for when you’re tired but want to eat well. Add an easy bagged organic salad and voilà!

Unsalted steak-fries.

So, that’s what’s been going on. Of all the things I pictured in my retirement, this was not one of them… but, as my wonderful mother-in-law used to say, “What can you do?” I guess, “The best you can,” is the answer to that.

XO Donna

GRATITUDE LIST

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Many people have a Wish List this time of year, which, by next week will turn into a Resolutions List.
I used to do both, but I’ve decided to spend the last few days of the year focusing on things for which I’m grateful: big things, little things, good things and even not-so-good, because ultimately, I’m still here. And I don’t take that for granted.

Meeting Santa & Mrs. Claus in Fredericksburg, TX

On December 12th we went to Fredericksburg overnight again with friends. It’s a charming old town begun by German immigrants, which has now become known as the Napa Valley of Texas for its many beautiful vineyards. The whole town was decorated for the holidays, and while strolling Main Street, look who we met!

Normally I would just take a nice photo of them – which I did – but neither of us wanted sit for our photo. Vanity, I guess. But, they began chatting with us, in between an occasional kiddie photo… and Santa and Mrs. Claus won us both over.

I’m trying not to fall off the arm of the chair, and everyone is looking somewhere else, but the spontaneous joy of doing something silly was delightful. And now, memorable. I am very glad to have met them, and want more spontaneous joy in my life!

Speaking of joy, my dear friend Holly (nianow.com/hollynastasi) sent me a little gift to “make things sparkle,” her wonderful words… and upon opening the box, I found two long strands of twinkling star-shaped lights run by solar power. They were just the inspiration I needed to finally decorate. We were actually feeling a little bah-humbug about it (highly-unmotivated is our buzzword) but we knew if we did nothing, we’d regret it. And, just like that, magic!

Now motivated, I went on to make a holiday greeting card out of a photo I’d taken two years ago. Feeling it was just a little plain, I decided to add some glitter to each card. I was so proud of myself when I sat down with my glue-stick and a tube of multi-colored glitter and got to work. And I loved the results, the icicles were all sparkling and bright!

Later, talking to my friend, Maria – who teaches Coffee Break Creativity – (she has helped me branch-out and really enjoy making art… letting go of my perfectionism!) she told me she never uses glitter, and now I know why. There is glitter everywhere, andI will never get it off of, or out of everything, I’m certain! Everyone who gets one of those cards is going to hate me… LOL! Live and learn. Sorry!

So, from my house to yours, I gratefully (and glitter-free) wish you a lovely holiday season, a Merry Christmas, and a Happy, Healthy New Year! Thank you for reading, for commenting, and for all of your good vibes. Lots of love,

XO Donna