Choose yourself

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This will be my first summer, ever, not to wear a bikini. At 61 I’m packing them away and moving into a tankini. Really sad when I have put in the effort to stay fit my whole life…and my skin betrays me!

(To quote an unsympathetic aquaintance, “Quit bitching, I haven’t been able to wear one for 30 years!”   Well, sorry, but did you do the work in order to be able to?)

Now for something completely different: this wonderful poster from www.BadGirlArt.com (on Facebook, too.) Shot of Tequila

To stay on point, I read an article in InStyle magazine where Salma Hayek said, “You’ve got to take who you are and love who you are and do the best you can with what you’ve got. That goes for the figure, and it goes for everything else.”  She wished she could say that whatever effort she makes, she makes for herself.  And that’s the place I always want to come from…I do this for myself. I eat fresh, healthy food, I exercize and drink a lot less than I’d like to in order to feel well, and keep as clear a mind as is possible!

There are still a lot of things I want to do, and I want to have the energy to do them, and look good in the process!  One of my first  food teachers (going back over 20 years ago) told me that if I ate well 75% of the time, I could do what I wanted the other 25%.

People think I don’t eat…or that I deprive myself. Au contraire!   I just eat real, whole, nutritious food and treat myself to things like enchiladas and margaritas about once a week. I pass on pasta, resist rice, skip spaghetti, and I’ve banished bread (love it…allergic to wheat!).  I don’t drink every day (and I don’t know how I survive!). I eat 70% dark chocolate. And I eat and drink tons of fruit and veggies!  I don’t need to diet….good food is it’s own reward!  If  you want to know more about making some changes, check out:  www.marksdailyapple.com for his Primal Lifestyle.  It’s a great reference and inspirational site. 

If my scale goes up a couple of pounds…too many cocktails, chips and dips…I clean up my act for a few days and I’m feeling good as new. Don’t let that 5 lbs. turn into 10, 20, then 30!  (I know I have some men that read this, shout out to you! )  We are in charge of what we do with our life…there’s a lot of lack-of-responsibility going around these days, and there’s not a damned thing that I find sexy about it!  At this point in time, everyone knows what’s good for us and what’s bad. If we aren’t making those choices, then that’s a choice in itself. Be honest. Or -make a different choice -choose yourself!  Beginning today, become the best you that you can be. It’s never too late to start…if you don’t want next year to be just the same as this one! Always next year Remember to live, love and laugh along the way.  And a shot of tequila wouldn’t hurt, either!

Cheers,

XO Donna

You gotta have heart

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It seems as if I were much more courageous when I was younger (or maybe that’s the invincibility that comes with youth) and now that I really don’t have anything to lose and nothing to prove, here comes fear.  How odd. It has probably been there all along, buried beneath the hustle and bustle of living my life, raising a child, working full-time. I always wanted to write, and always stopped myself, until now.  What have you always wanted to do, and still haven’t yet?  beachsand

This morning I gave some advice to an artist who is struggling with feeling “like an impostor/fraud.”  (Women tend to do this to themselves, I’ve often wondered if men do, too?)  She has a good career, but wants to begin a new one, and is just paralyzed with fear over going from a “job” to an artistic career. She thinks all of the respect she’s received from her peers is because they don’t “really know her,” and she feels like she’s bottoming out.

I told her what I try to remember when I have ‘scared the snot out of myself” –

  • There is nowhere to go but up.
  • It’s fear…not reality.
  • Breathe out and keep moving forward, one step at a time.
  • This too shall pass

Like the Cowardly Lion, we just need courage to overcome our fear.  And just like him, it’s in all of us all along!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”   Marianne Williamson

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”   John Lennon

Go be fearless…it’s sexy!

XODonna

…next to godliness

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Some days when I sit down, I’m not sure what I am going to write, but I show up and I am always inspired, divinely or otherwise…

Today, inspiration struck as I was reading Daniell LaPorte’s blog. Don’t know her?  She’s a Fire Starter!  Check her out here: www.daniellelaporte.com.  In a list she posted, this one caught my eye, “For me, clutter-free living is up there with rainbows, front-row seats, and answered prayers.”  She took the words right out of my mouth!  

My father was an interior designer, and as such he valued order, functionality and sensuality. I am his daughter. My mother had been raised, very frugally, on a farm. She always said,  “It doesn’t cost anything but a bar of soap to be clean.”  Well, that, and a little elbow grease!  I am my mother’s daughter, too.  Unfortunately, they both judged people who didn’t share their ideas. The idea they conveyed to us children, was that slovenly people were bad. Sofa...so good! 004

“All places where women are excluded tend toward barbarism: but the moment she is introduced, there come in with her courtesy, cleanliness, sobriety and order. “    Harriet Beecher Stowe

Harriet hadn’t met any of my girlfriends from when I first lived alone;  they loved a great party just as much as the next barbarian!

And this created cognitive dissonance for me – I loved these friends. They were well-educated, philosophical, generous, intelligent people. And, a few were slobs. I had been taught that this was bad…but, they weren’t bad!  It finally occured to me that my parents were out-and-out WRONG!

“Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.”  P.J. O’Rourke

Maybe that’s why I’ve become even neater as time has gone by…I’ve missed my chance at sainthood!   Our contractor was just here doing a spot-check since we are having work done (…more work done) on our house in order to finally sell it…and as he left he complimented us on how clean the house was. (Mostly we give him credit for all of the beautiful work that makes the place such a retreat!)   Standing 6′ 6″ tall, he even noticed that the top of the fridge was clean, and commented on it.  He’s a real straight-shooter that way!  I knew that someday, somehow, for some reason, cleaning the top of the refrigerator (where I can’t see) would pay off!  

My late mother-in-law, whom I loved dearly, had a sign in her kitchen that read, “This house is clean enough to be healthy, and messy enough to be happy!”   And that’s the bottom line…do whatever makes you happy.  Happiness is always sexy!

XODonna

Late to the party

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Many people worry that they are too old to begin anew in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s…but not me.  I am surrounded by brilliant women, and men, successfully navigating a second, or third, act and reinventing their lives!  They inspire me, and lead me to believe that it can be done! My whole family is a bouquet of  “late bloomers!”  During his successful career as an Interior Designer, my father went back to school part-time in order to study his passions: History, Political Science and Government. He graduated with his Masters, Magna Cum Laude, at age 60.  He is 85 now, and still teaching!

You are never too old. Well, maybe for a mini-skirt, but otherwise, age is just an excuse we use to keep from experiencing the fear and insecurity of trying something new.  Ask yourself this: If you don’t pursue your dream now, in 10 years will you regret not having done so?  Suzuki quote    Here are some inspirational people who came late to the party:

Since I love to cook and eat, I’ll start with  Julia Child. She didn’t learn to cook until almost 40 and didn’t  launch her extremely popular TV show until she was 50. I fell in love with her after Dan Akroyd’s impersonation of her on SNL in the 70’s.

Harlan “Colonel” Sanders was 66 when he built his Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise. Not great for maintaining a sexy figure (look at his waistline!) but it revolutionized take-home food.

Laura Ingalls Wilder wasn’t a spring (prairie) chicken when she published the first of her beloved  “Little House” books at age 65.

Maya Angelou was in her 60’s when her poetry and books became popular. She has published 7 autobiographies, 5 books of essays and several books of poetry. She has even been invited to read her poetry at the White House!

Elizabeth Venturini, a college career strategist says, “Personally, I think all women are ‘late blooming’ as it takes women a couple of decades to develop professionally, personally and spiritually.” 

So, don’t shrug off those dreams, or vague desires. When you find yourself envious, don’t be, instead know that it’s your inner voice  saying, “I’ll have what she’s having!”  We late bloomers are on our (decidedly NOT meteoric) rise, making better, wiser decisions and more than likely, fewer mistakes at this age.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.  Boldness has magic, power and genius in it!  Goethe